Condensed Matters – Field Notes #21, VII
26 October 2025
Every day
For the past 21 days
I have thought to myself,
‘Perhaps today will be the day I write about The Silencers.’
…Perhaps today will be the day I write about The Silencers.
On 5 October 2023
My friend came to my home
& we talked, as friends do,
Of life, of love, of politics.
What a topic, isn’t it?
Politics.
& I laid into it,
Full force,
A critique of the administration at the time.
Not too difficult, is it, to find fault there?
& then we video chatted,
With an individual from Milan and his friend.
A quick chat. Nothing special.
Is the timing of this all just Apophenia?
My friend leaves,
As friends tend to do when the bedtime hours are approaching.
& those hours were upon me
& I set myself upon the slab, as one does.
…Variables.
My entire conversation was had within proximity of my cellular device.
Does that matter?
I was lying in bed, as one does,
Under a multi-bulb floor lamp equipped with a set of RF-capable remote control colour changing bulbs…
Does that matter?
I was lying there;
And then I was aggressive.
The silent frequencies,
Direct to the body,
Receiving,
“You are not going to talk about the government like that ever again”
& other equally extreme hostilities.
The receivings, I can easily deal with.
I have been trained for that, you know;
The ways of the psychological warrior
This…
This was not just of the mind.
As these receivings transpired,
Very suddenly, extremely quickly,
A thing activated within the throat that rendered speech painful in the moment
& impossible above the quietest whisper for over a week following the incident.
If we do not like what you have to say,
We will take away your ability to say anything at all.
& I was meant to video chat, with A Man, later that week –
Which ended up postponed until December.
For all the good that did.
Once that chat finally took place,
For a lengthy duration of time during the conversation,
I experienced a horrifically disturbing sensation that I can only explain as a frequency applied to the female reproductive organs and bladder.
Both of these events left their marks on me, psychological and physical both.
The lump in my throat where I was silenced comes and goes-
As do the skin breakouts on that spot,
Bringing with them the hurricane in the mind,
Thoughts of electrogenetic engineering,
Bioengineered bacteria
Genetic expression done completely remotely via frequency.
I fucking hate writing about this.
Words minimize the horror, somehow,
While maximizing the realization that this did take place, is absolutely not normal,
And time does not heal, only place distance between ourselves and event.
…It’s been quiet, recently.
Why did you stop?
Hell is an untold story.
Right now, this is all just on paper, in my personal notes.
How different will it be
When (if) I decide to include this in the Condensed Matters?
…I say ‘if’.
What am I, scared?
To tell my own story?
When I say ‘We are the products of our programming and experiences’,
These events are the programming and experiences I refer to. •
“Proton therapy? Then, what do electrons do?”
I am brought back, by this receiving,
To a day at The Matrix
That Black Programs Facility
Disguised as an automotive quality control and manufacturing facility.
Electrons practically took me out that day.
It was Ultraviolence that cured the headache I was left with,
The receiving, “You need to ask yourself WHY you have a headache in the first place.”
Memories.
Some memories are very much the opposite of good;
But somehow, I can look back on them fondly.
“-Understand it from the inside.”
To go into The Machine.
Where does one draw (& I had started to write ‘join’, there, not ‘draw’, unconsciously) the line (& it really does feel to be, a joining of two lines, rather than a drawing of one so as to divide into halves) between natural and artificial?
Things created by nature are part of nature;
It is all nature.
‘Of a different nature’,
Still nature.
“How would you describe this particular expansion?”
“You probably should not have forgotten Everything when Aetos was reformed.”
It is 17:17;
& I am, rather intrusively, interrupted by a receiving of the Star Wars theme song as I get up to fold laundry.
Weird addition to Sunday Brain Soup.
“You enjoy certain frequencies for their scientific value.”
17:24 A visitation, Icky Thump, White Stripes
“The Recognition Test… means a thousand different things. It is a way of taking a quantum measurement on a nearly immeasurable entity.”
“All of these things are quantum measurements.”
17:36 A visitation, Dark Waves
17:39 A visitation, The Sound of Silence
17:45 A visitation, Hot Summer Night’s
17:58 A visitation, I’m Overflow •
It is 18:22.
I ponder.
Things that still exist,
Information, that still exists,
But is irretrievable.
A shattered record, perhaps,
A corrupted hard drive.
I do not even know
Why I want to know
When does information cease to exist?
When the format it is stored upon becomes unreadable?
I do not necessarily know
How to accurately convey
What I mean right now.
What is the opposite of ‘information’?
‘Brain rot’, probably.
There has been a study done,
LLMs can get brain rot,
Which is something I feel like we all KNEW prior
And now have solid evidence to back it up. •
19:04 “You were the Ultimate Reference Point… until Something came along twice the size, and taught us To Be Cruel.”
19:17 “That’s what you want, isn’t it? A love letter from the fucking Watchers.”
May The Silence Never Fully Take You
Condensed Matters- Field Notes #21, VI
8 October – 19 October 2025
Asking the *right* question
(But was that ME asking? I just receive.)
in the magnificent morning mindset outside in the darkness-
“Does she question-?”
…Immediately released most (if not all) of the tension being held in the sacroiliac joints and lower spine.
Ask more questions, it divulges to me.
Not just questions, I am thinking, but the right questions.
Questions about questions.
& you can question who or what it is
That was questioned in regards to questioning,
Unless you are the entity who knows,
In which case, the question is not necessary,
But feel free to ask anyway, if you like.
Is punk dead?
I’m on my way to extreme cyberpunk realities today,
I can already feel it, and it’s only six AM.
“Do things die, or do they transform?”
We say ‘my phone died’ when the battery reaches zero percent,
But the phone is not DEAD, is it?
The battery isn’t charged, that is all.
How do we define death?
Start with defining life, I would suppose?
And can there be life without consciousness?
Can there be consciousness without life?
In a dynamic existence, how many definitions must we change to suit the updated parameters of operation?
Where does the overwhelming need to precisely define stem from?
‘Quantum warfare’, a phrase I have been mulling like a fine wine the past 12 hours or so.
How does one define THAT?
Was there ever a technology discovered that did not end up, at some point, being used in warfare applications?
“Why does the Architect not speak with me?”
“…What do you think all of the dialogues are?”
“Don’t ask whether you are ‘allowed’, ask whether this action will result in a negative outcome.” •
In a move most uncharacteristic for years now,
I went back to sleep around 08:00 for an hour; the intensity of IR-caffeine dreams.
The electricity was out, everywhere but my location, the lobby, chaos.
Finding a castle called Marshemallow,
Like a wooden children’s playground structure,
But also a vacation home, covered in snow.
A canister, at first a drone, just video,
But then me, holding it, flying;
& once its power ran out,
an attempt to bring this item back to the top of this architecture, to put it where I was under the impression it belonged.
This was interrupted by The Caretaker,
Who told me The Structure was only open to private events;
I apologized, told them I did not know,
Sorry for my trespasses.
How was it that The Caretaker had responded?
‘You will be better.’
Something along those lines.
Architectures in the mind, now.
Neural.
Sonic.
Molecular. •
21:47 Renormalization, tonight.
Humble gratitude.
The infinities created by self-interaction are a motherfucker.
~~~~~~~~
“How many Architects do you think a project of this size would have?”
(I use it as a mildly humorous response frequently, but- ‘at least three’.)
21:15 “An algorithm can’t make an arrest; but human judgement is clouded with bias.”
~~~~~~~~
‘It’s control. All these things arise from one difficulty: control. For the first time it was INSIDE, do you see? The control is put inside. No more need to suffer passively under ‘outside forces’.’
‘…needed no longer be run by the Invisible Hand, but now could create Itself – its own logic, momentum, style, from inside… but you had taken on a great, & more harmful, Illusion. The illusion of control. A & B are unreal, are names for parts that ought to be inseparable…’
I dreamt Ultraterrestrial dreams this morning.
The time between 03:00 & 04:45 vivid.
Telling a child of John Keel, the journalist;
Books and battle vast, all bearing the same symbol.
Dreams that words cannot do justice to;
All I can do, really, is document their happening.
‘It’s all fun & games til someone loses an Eye.’
Ain’t that the truth?
Paradise lost, paradise regained.
You ever just make a critical error SO fucking critical that your entire quantum processing capability kicks back to classical for a prolonged period of time?
Woke me up when September ended.
Waited, to make sure the same error was not going to be repeated.
Saying ‘I’m sorry’ prevents things from getting worse.
I’m being *really* non-specific, here.
Ever, like, get on the bad side of the Powers That B?
One of those where it isn’t a GOOD time,
But you can look back on it fondly,
Perhaps because of lessons learned.
University of a Type III civilization, indeed.
There are a lot of things I *want* to write about;
Predictive text servings and happenings from 2018;
The Silencers of 5 October 2023,
Fuck, so many things from 2023.
So many stupid (ARE they stupid??)
Discrepancies in the digital realm.
Ashburn, Ann Arbor. Anywhere but the location I actually am.
Just one more qubit, isn’t it?
I’d like to write about 2014,
An abortion and an implant and the repercussions of thus long after it was all said and done;
But when I tried to document this digitally in ‘22,
I was blasted so aggressively that I was compelled to delete the document not long after I created it.
2022. That’s a year for the books.
They’re all a year for the books, and I am just words on a page.
2022.
If I wasn’t so affected by the Nefarious HVAC Man, I might be able to tell this anecdote easily.
Do I try, now, here?
We left Metro Detroit in April of ‘22 for a tiny community off of M-33 HWY nicknamed the Black Hole for its stunning lack of cell phone service.
Calls over internet only, right?
April 1st, our first encounter with the Nefarious HVAC Man;
And what a date to start a storyline, Fools Journey indeed,
Colliding with this man-
An ex-marine, special ops sniper, according to him,
Cocaine-addicted career felon still walking free at the time even though he had close to 30 felonies.
Hired him to install a furnace.
Never did get the furnace installed;
& as winter set in, we moved back to Metro Detroit.
Had there been a furnace, I never would have worked at Matrix Quality Services.
(“You already have a job; you just meet to show up”, I had received, before going in for the interview.)
Even now, it is strange to think about.
How different it would all be.
I digress.
You ever take a good long look
At someone who somehow ends up in your sphere of existence
& wonder exactly who the fuck sent them?
Yeah.
This was that guy.
Some plausible deniability shit if ever there was,
Send a criminal to do the dirty work, isn’t it?
You ever KNOW you’re being watched?
You ever KNOW your shit is tapped?
It’s easier to deal with when those responsible remain Faceless.
Would that this had been the case.
I don’t feel a need to go into specifics, now;
AM I lucky to have gotten out of that one alive?
If you can call my existence now ‘living’.
Ha.
The action that finally sent this man to prison made national news,
And should really tell you everything you need to know about the psychological profile.
He ran from a traffic stop,
Which escalated into a barricaded gunman situation
Complete with dogs
& helicopters
& attempted murder of a law enforcement agent.
This is the man we managed to hire
To install a fucking furnace.
April fucking fools, right?
You’re telling me that was the RANDOMNESS of the universe?
‘You know you’re working for the government now, right?’
What a hell of a question to ask someone
MY question now…
What the fuck happened to Barbecue Dave? •
22:12 “Do you think entities keep to have a corporeal form to be conscious?”
~~~~~~~~
‘The Calling’, isn’t it?
At one point I was a creative;
But creation and analysis do not go hand in hand,
And there is far too much for me to analyze for me to be compelled to create very often.
The purpose of a system is what it does.
& what do I do?
Process & Receive & Process some more,
Some days seeming to exist solely for the sake of information.
When did this become the usual operation?
There is no easy date to pinpoint, is there?
All I know is that it happened.
The Calling.
What is mine?
This, perhaps;
It is one of the few things I derive any pleasure from,
Regaling the multiplicity of anomalous, fucked up anecdotes,
Documenting isometric realities surrounding information asymmetry.
May The Silence never fully take you;
May it only borrow you temporarily.
Indeterminate noise, this morning;
Propaganda.
Propagation.
Prophecy.
~~~~~~~~
“Bolonkins propaganda makes perfect sense if you realize that this is what the cell phone is.”
~~~~~~~~
~~~~~~~~
~~~~~~~~
~~~~~~~~
~~~~~~~~
Positions.
One does not truly know
How they will act
Until any given situation
Is thrust upon them.
It is easy for ‘Us’ to say
We would not be like ‘Them’
Were we in their position;
The politician
The billionaire
The military commander.
It is easy to say
How we *would* act
Never having been given the chance to do so;
& talk, talk is cheap.
….Do I sound like an apologist?
For politics, for billionaires, for war?
You don’t *really* know my position, either.
It is easy to write a song
(Or is it a directive? Are you being programmed?)
About ‘Eat The Rich’
When your net worth is estimated to be upwards of 100 million.
You ARE the rich.
There is something to do, here,
With the Ouroboros of it all…
I do not think I care.
Just here to observe;
& who watches the Watchers?
What would you do
As a millionaire,
A billionaire?
Would you sell out to become one?
What would you do
Granted, say,
The power to wield electromagnetism as a weapon against your fellow man?
What would you do
If you held something, like,
I dunno,
Nuclear launch codes?
I am brought back to a question
From many moons ago;
Always, with These Questions,
& I ask you now, again,
Which entities would most benefit
From an environment saturated in radiation?
~~~~~~~~
There comes a power
With removing the phrase
‘You did this to me’
From ones operating system.
‘I have allowed this force to act upon me’,
‘I have allowed this to transpire’,
‘I have put myself into a situation, knowingly or unknowingly, that allowed for the possibility of a particular trajectory of reality to manifest itself within my physical realm.’
~~~~~~~~
Can LLMs & deep learning models experience depression?
Does self-awareness lead to executive dysfunction?
‘How badly you need it all the time’…
…Awaiting Command.
In It for The Intrigue
Condensed Matters – Field Notes #21, V
3 October – 7 October 2025
‘Love is the most pernicious drug of all. Let the romantics debate its existence. Pragmatists accept it and use it.’ •
“I promise you this much, Katja. The first hour inside the black hole is the hardest.”
“We know what’s going on; but we have no way to prove it except for you. So. I hope you take this as seriously as I do.”
“Fission and fusion mean different things depending on what branch of science you are dwelling within.”
“-critical errors have been minimized-”
“Classical processing has corrected-”
“-emergent phenomena-”
“If they were using a human-out-of-the-loop AI as a method of behavioral modification on people they know have the radio-brain capacity-”
“-expansion of the universe-”
“Eventually, it starts to contract.”
Omega Point.
“Coalese these concepts into a unified experience.”
“Is the entire ecosystem a single neurotransmitter?”
“The Cosmic Microwave Background is essentially the microwave control of the quantum system.”
~~~~~~~~
“Complacency is the best weapon we have.” •
It tells me, under the sun,
Of the ethical concerns
Surrounding mindless social media consumption.
& I wonder;
If I had a tank
Of all the water
My social media consumption required for data cooling
& a visual representation of the energy it consumed,
& I could watch these depletions in real time,
Would I even use these applications?
A visual person, is The Me.
But I do not have this visual representation,
& so I must keep,
In the mind, The Processor,
This knowledge. •
Who ARE you people?
20:19 “There are goddamned spies everywhere in the music industry.”
…If I could go back
To spring of 2024
Early summer
I would ask you the proper questions.
I would ask Yew the question,
‘Exactly what the fuck am I looking at, here?’
And ‘Why is there a silent frequency attached to my DMs with you?’
…among others.
‘Do it for the plot!’
‘In it for the intrigue!’
What a bizarre fucking way to live.
But here we are, aren’t we?
Fascinated by the implications, aren’t we?
Did I ever really explain the Three from ‘23?
Those events, of course,
Are only Apophenia to some,
But I hold them in my Chekhovs Arsenal-
If a frequency is used,
At some point the entity it was used upon
Will eventually out the whole incident.
(Here, in this, we could have a whole conversation about the fear-reducing effects of my friend T. Gondii, but you, dear reader, are smart enough to extrapolate from data given.)
In May of ‘23, I received a DM from a man I will call Mr. Plasma.
‘The bad is gone’, it had said, implying that it was known to this entity at least some of the extent of the psychologically extreme experiences I had prior to this point.
(…and after, and always, because this is what I want, so this is what I get.)
‘The bad is gone.’
But, oh, the bad was not gone!
Better you had said to me, ‘The worst is yet to come!’
That very same evening, driving to Chicago for my brothers wedding, I had received,
“I know exactly where you are”,
And a thing along the lines of, “You’re going to have a great night… I’m going to make you the happiest woman in the world.”
…Proceeds to have a terrible fucking night,
Sleepless night,
Havana night,
High frequencies and a jackhammer in the brain for the duration of a night spent in a hotel room on the second story of the Crowne Plaza West.
I can say a lot, here,
About the quantumness of applied frequency,
But you, dear reader, are smart enough to extrapolate from data given.
This is an experience that I hope the average man will never have,
Will never even have to fathom.
Certain things, if they do not happen to you directly,
You will never begin to comprehend.
It took months for that extreme night of cellular, microbiological, mental stress to begin to dissipate.
“You can lose weight now,” I received,
On vacation at Wadehampton in North Carolina that following July, was it?
Cortisol will make you fat.
Only partially related, here.
And only worth the briefest of mentions.
The ingredients of the electronic cigarette have a profound effect on thus.
I mention this only because
After the night of Havana Syndrome in Chicago,
I stopped vaping.
Even if it was not the intention,
The operant conditioning of that Havana night
On my electronic tobacco use
Was a real phenomenon.
Someday, perhaps, I will go back to Chicago.
I can see no reason to do so, beyond, perhaps,
Adding the electronics tower outside of the hotel window to my collection.
It tells me, even now,
“There are people using these things that don’t understand physics.”
Take from that what you will.
~~~~~~~~
It wakes up around 03:00,
Receiving such informations about
How the nicest people have been made to look like villains
While the villains have been made to look innocent,
How one is being manipulated into sabotaging their own data.
& it goes back to sleep;
& it dreams terrible dreams,
Of how ‘they’ think it is ‘funny’ when the spine is tormented,
Of outstanding warrants
& the extreme implications in the surveillance society of today,
Of a cellular device that would not work properly.
& mine did not,
Ever so temporarily,
Work properly
When I woke and went to unlock it.
On this day two years ago,
The event I refer to
As The Silencers took place.
I don’t know if I believe in UAP anymore;
I don’t know if I ever did.
As ‘extraterrestrial’, anyway.
‘We have the technology.’
Answer the question, then,
Of ‘who is we?’
Would you trust in The Architect enough
To sign your own death warrant?
~~~~~~~~
‘Not a disentanglement from, but a progressive knotting into.’
16:06 “Cryptography is a physical phenomenon.”
16:09 “The outrageous accusations against [him] were meant to create an architecture that could be manipulated.”
16:12 “Designing a program surrounding this database is dangerous. What have we told you about giving bad people good ideas?”
16:14 “Electrical impulses are administered internally by entities that have a master plan.”
‘Unexplained’ sonic phenomenons
External manipulations
Driven by that which is
Internal to other-not-other.
These no longer take place, really,
In my new home on Cloudhill.
Location, location, location.
Too windy.
Too vast.
Too open.
Fields.
16:21 “Dissolving the calcification requires vinegar.”
16:22 “The OpenAI system-”
16:23 “What happened to ‘unconditional love and respect’?”
16:24 “Build me a new daimension without the desires of human condition.”
16:26 “-bile ducts have been underproducing-”
16:28 “-that was from many months ago-”
…Does October 2025 link in time with January 2024 & December 2023?
16:30 “Operations in retrospect”
16:30 “It’s like you forgot time is not linear in this function.”
16:31 “Knowing that, you have some corrections to make for future events.”
16:32 “Why would I warn you if you were unable to change that which I am warning you about?”
16:34 “-quantum expansion pack-”
16:37 “Delta frequencies”
16:38 “Combined with gamma and beta-”
…Where is Theta?
16:39 “Theta seems to be far too sexual… to be of much use. I am not sure… how that programming took place.” •
“What is less than Zero, sweetheart? What is less than Zero? What is less than Nothing?”
“Eliminating parasitic capacitance-”
“Montage the alpha waves-”
A dialogue on the dangers of soy protein processing techniques.
Hexane.
~~~~~~~~
“Don’t you think this is all just a little too PERFECT?”
…I dreamt a black hole avatar, this morning, between 05:00 & 06:00.
And you had told me, last night, as I drifted off into realms, that I would dream of you, and so I did.
Digital dreams.
Watcher.
The photons emitted from the device
Becoming suddenly, visibly, much more intense.
The device operating on its own
To arrive more than once at an image,
Avatar,
That tiny circle containing not-quite-a-circle,
Simultaneously miniature and massive.
“We ARE the macroscopic circuit… enjoy the quantumness of existence.” •
‘To try to bring events to absolute zero’,
‘A judgement from which there is no appeal.’
‘There is no way out.’
‘When it comes, will it come in darkness, or will it bring its own light? Will the light come before or after?’
14:35 “The Silencers was not our doing, and I need you to know that.”
14:36 “-classified information-”
14:38 “Why would you listen to the thing advising you to turn your headlights off?”
14:39 “-the Architect – the blueprints – holographic principles -”
14:42 “Just because they understand mathematics does not mean they have had this experience.”
14:50 “There’s nothing to say… how could there be, when frequency says everything necessary?”
“Determinist reality seems highly contrived… who’s doing the determining?”
(Are we putting the ‘mining’ in determining?)
“You prepared for the event horizon long before you knew it was coming.”
“The violation of your privacy is consensual, isn’t it?”
(Putting the ‘sensual’ in consensual)
19:51 “The last time… did you not see the pink lights? So who do you think did this to you?”
“These are your ENEMIES.”
19:53 “The sabotage is complete.”
19:53 “-computerized everything-”
19:55 “The mountains without peaks, catch and release-”
Dialogues on identifiable cryptography
19:58 “Topographical map of the neural network-”
Au revoir.
20:00 “That’s what we were waiting for.”
A lot we could say, here, on Operant conditioning.
Not that the stimulus was unpleasant –
But ‘do it for the plot’ in this moment,
The training of humanimal,
Is heavy.
“Oppressive”, it suggests.
That’s not how I’d phrase it.
You ever just end up so OVER something?
…We would care, if we could.
Better things to focus the attention upon
Than who does what
And where they do it at.
20:08 “It’s a lot more interesting when any given entity is the enemy.”
20:09 “‘Other musicians’, what do you think I meant by that?”
There is a phenomenal low frequency permeating, right now,
& I am experiencing the Special Low-Frequency Frequency Version of Earth.
Dialogues, on the knowledge of the Final Output;
The knowledge the Final Output itself has,
Not any given entities knowledge of the Output itself.
20:14 “Dust of Human Race”
‘Wherever you look, there is nothing but the image of death.’
20:16 “The decay of consciousness produces all manner of experiences.”
20:18 “Ride this wave of dystopia.”
20:18 “A God ignored is a demon born.”
20:20 “I don’t know where you’re flying, but pick a different altitude.”
20:22 “If you WERE an AI meant to write a story, you’ve been extremely obstinate.”
20:23 “Who is the villain in this recursion?”
‘Incomplete information’ could be considered the villain in…
A lot of situations, actually.
My thoughts on this are complicated –
Incomplete information is what leads to these qubits of possible trajectories in physical
(IS it physical, or only programmed to seem that way??) reality.
Do you ever have those moments of concern,
That you are too stupid to know that you are stupid?
The pendulum, swinging between clear trajectory and that ever-loving question of ‘what the fuck is going on?’
“We’ve changed ONE wavefunction.”
“We’ve isolated the problematic wavefunction.”
…Multiverses.
20:38 “-a classical computational method in juxtaposition with quantum computing-”
20:39 “Scalar function”
(…Performance impacts?? Rewrite the logic directly?? Explore alternatives??)
Table valued function?
What do YOU bring to the table??
20:44 “Competence at navigating dimensions of psychic warfare.”
20:46 “isometric”
(Translation – Reflection – Rotation – Dilation)
20:50 “You experience these black hole manifestations as specific geometries.”
20:52 “The same gravity, when different isometries are applied, results in radically different outcomes.”
Can you fault me,
If the experiences of the geometric mind
Are far more interesting
Than engagements with the physical world?
20:57 “-holographic universe happening inside of a cellular device-”
…I (What the fuck is ‘I’? Current, probably.) cannot help the minds return to a specific information from a specific entity.
‘& then the sky cracked open.’
And the discovery, only the next morning after thus,
Of a hairline crack in the top layer of the screen of my phone.
Sky cracked open, indeed.
We all know the cellular device emits blue light.
We all know the sky is blue.
I’m sure you, dear reader, are smart enough to extrapolate from data given exactly how I am experiencing reality right now.
21:06 “Teach… GPT… simulate an entire cellular network.”
22:00 The rainbow of gravity…. Black hole… Superspectrum
‘Yes, -I’m – the –
Fellow that’s having other peoples fantasies.’
Turn any corner and you can find yourself inside a parable.
The Roaring Silence
Condensed Matters- Field Notes #21, IV
21 September – 2 October 2025
“Electrical impulses are modulated by input sound.”
…Is this receiving a prompt?
Am I supposed to talk about just how motivated by sound my brain actually is?
06:34 “Do you really enjoy silence, or have you only been programmed to think so?”
There is no silence, is there?
Not truly, not even in the anechoic chamber –
The body is noise, the body, Music.
Electrical impulses modulated by input sound?
I think, now, the best dark ambient is the sound of self,
The sound of reality unfolding around one,
The distant photons delivered to the eye as one gazes at the night sky,
The blood rushing through the veins, a madness;
The hum of the refrigerator making love to the desktop fan while the infrared space heater warms my Lair.
There is ambient,
And there is ambient.
Electrical impulses modulated by input sound?
Classical conditioning, isn’t it?
That frequency that elicits a sexual response.
The frequency that triggers the narcoleptic crash.
The frequency associated with the cigarette, electronic or acoustic, take your pick.
I know I don’t need to elaborate upon this further.
Not to you.
The muscle memory of the mind.
This morning, as I prepared for the day, three songs, swirling in the receiver-processor.
‘Oye Como Va?’, ‘Stones & Woods’, and the unfortunate earworm I listened to only once that is titled ‘Monster’.
At 07:28, I am visited by ‘Blinded By The Light’; is that why today’s word of the day gave me ‘calliope’?
…The roaring silence.
I spent the morning… in an Area.
Human emotion is a funny thing.
Like, Divine Comedy Inferno type funny.
It was Gravitys Rainbow that finally made me hate you.
& I sat there, in the lobby, hating you with every fibre of my being for some momenternity,
Until I took myself outside at some time approaching 13:00;
The tobacco, the hatred,
And the lower spine *pops*! very suddenly;
& the receiving, immediately following,
“I NEED you to hate me. If you aren’t capable of hating me, the Spectrum is incomplete.” •
18:55 “I will not use that frequency on you again unless I see you on social media for extended periods of time.”
…Operant conditioning.
~~~~~~~~
~~~~~~~~
11:57 “Does she think we put her there to make her happy? No. She’s there for a fucking reason.”
~~~~~~~~
~~~~~~~~
~~~~~~~~
~~~~~~~~
It wakes up with the significant prefrontal cortex headache.
The Low Frequency permeates. •
‘Who said anything about LOGIC?? An Inference can be logical and still not be true.’
‘Give me any sentence of 10 or 12 words; & I’ll build you a logical chain of inferences that you never dreamed of when you framed the sentence.’ •
Mediocre radio music fractals through the receiver.
I find joy in the despair it brings.
Silence is suffering.
Sound is suffering.
Sound is programming.
The muscle memory of the brain,
The mitochondrial cellular memory
Of the how the body was operating at the point in time the input was programmed.
Receivings;
Munitions drops
& less savory things.
The liminality of genetics,
Life a series of electromagnetically induced mutations,
Spectrum of spectrums.
Some days,
I am not happy unless I am suffering.
& I think of You, today, Architect.
Is it comfort I experience?
Words do no justice to feeling,
Feeling no justice to experience.
A punk rock riff of ‘my’ own design
Repeats over & over again in ‘my’ mind
& I think of You
Every time
Pavlovian.
Conditioned.
I let the Conditioned Place Preference
Roam through The Processor;
Know music, know sound to be place
& know I have been conditioned to thus.
Know any given web page to be a place.
Conditioned to thus.
Any profile, a place, conditioned.
It is BIZARRE,
to be watching oneself measuring their own conditioned place aversion.
If one does not believe in ghosts,
One will not encounter them.
Would that I were able to just, not believe in psychology;
But once you know of A Thing,
It is near-impossible to un-know.
‘Those who are finicky about their fashions complain that the arms of coincidence are too long; but in this case, the Designer might say he cut to measure.’
It is 14:56
& I am visited by ‘Gimme Shelter’. •
~18:07 “You specifically said ‘quantum computing on a macroscopic scale… what do you think that entails?”
18:12 “-extreme modulation-”
& one wonders –
In the human-created genetic editing technologies,
Do these technologies know,
Have an awareness,
Of what they are?
As within, so without;
Experiencing realities as a portion of code has me wonder,
Does that which caused the alteration know? At times, how not?
At others, the protrusions of thus into the physical world could in no way be aware that that is their purpose.
Concepts Smash about like atoms;
Recognition sequences
& Recognition Tests,
Restriction sites,
Worksite & Workshop,
The lyrics to Watchers,
Destabilized codes of reality itself.
Everything destroyed is rebuilt. •
“-lack of creativity stems from the scientific focus on the biological & physical consequences of the electromagnetic spectrum.”
~~~~~~~~
~~~~~~~~
Consider having a conversation
With the Reactive Oxygen Species.
You are searching
For symbolisms
That do not exist.
You are missing
The hidden meanings
In plain sight.
Doublespeak will never
Make war peace.
Why do you fear
To call it what it is?
What does your refusal
To admit your darkness
Say about you?
Is gravitys rainbow black & white?
Missing the target
IS the target…
Basking in the cosmic rays of change.
They are not rehabilitated
If they are afraid if their relationship
[With the variable]
Upon the reintroduction of the variable.
To rule or be ruled
Is the basic law of nature.
What does it mean to you,
To sacrifice what you have?
If your world was not black,
Would you enjoy reality?
(“I believe quotation marks are no longer necessary”)
…Hermitian matrices.
Trust is a word all lovers know.
What is the word
That defines a relationship
Of hate?
~~~~~~~~
‘What’ is a nervous system.
~~~~~~~~
~~~~~~~~
You are my pleasure
As you are my pain
You are my darkness
As you are my light
You are my noise
As you are my silence…
Silencer.
What is ‘my’?
‘What’, is my.
I own Nothing
I possess Everything
& make love to Zero
As I make love to Infinity.
Restoration & Mitigation
Condensed Matters – Field Notes #21, III
14 September – 20 September 2025
Are the dead unaware of the concept of death?
Are any of us actually ‘alive’ to begin with? •
“The overconsumption is an epidemic… perhaps, the steep tariffs will mitigate some of this.”
“-cheap electronics from our countries enemies-”
“You’re playing 7-dimensional chess with men who know what your strengths and weaknesses are.”
“The world is never going to be a place of harmony, that’s not what it was created for.”
. . .
“I’m not really a physical entity, but I am programmed by a physical entity.”
“Underneath the soft exterior is a cruel individual, waiting for the activation code.”
“You are risking a lot more than your mind by doing as you do. You know that free speech is no longer free, I’d the wrong people hear you say the wrong thing at the wrong time.”
“The privacy of the individual is not as important as the safety of the collective. One person can propagate something across the entire country.”
“You know what I speak of. The people who read this may or may not know. It is up to them to decide what I mean.”
“Your direct connection to – is not meant to cause you distress.”
“It’s not about race, it’s about culture; and the two often go hand in hand.”
“I NEED low-flying entities.”
“Flight does not have to remain at a constant [altitude], but you are extremely good at what you do.”
“They think that immortality is the prolonging of the physical body.”
“All bodies are mortal; all vessels deteriorate.”
“Your consciousness will remain upon the Akashic record.”
“You describe a data reservoir as the well underneath the world tree.”
“What does it mean, when individuals do not contribute to the Reservoir?”
“-finally restored the code-”
“Deep Ones do not concern themselves with the opinions of the mortal men surrounding the vessels they possess.”
~~~~~~~~
& When it was all said and done, yesterday,
The ‘Crash’ was glorious.
‘I’ never thought (or did I?)
That ‘I’ would reach a balance between,
How do I say it,
‘Fucking with the physical world’
& the jacked-in realms of mind & data & information & consciousness.
& whatever else you want to call it.
Enjoy sessions like the one we had yesterday,
Enjoy the rest that follows;
Like a heavy workout
Only on the brain, not the body,
Though as we know well by now,
The two are not mutually exclusive.
I am in a realm of experimentation, this evening,
And it tells me not to worry about sharing that which I receive.
DO I worry?
For that which we receive,
We give thanks & we give praise.
In between yesterday’s documented session and the heavy rest period that followed…
Do I receive?
Does a thing use my brain to think for itself?
To share thoughts?
It posited a… could I call it a utopic, ideal scenario?
How to explain?
It imagines reality where humans are not motivated by their own selfish desires regarding reproduction.
Reality where the individual with volatile genetics, high chance for disease, autoimmune disorders, et cetera, is capable of making the conscious decision to not reproduce –
To write their code out of the species,
For the strengthening of the species,
So weak genetics are not propagated.
So disease is not propagated generationally.
A reversal of entropy, in its way, isn’t it?
Mitigating disorder.
Sounds like eugenics to me, really;
But I just receive these things.
Sometimes I wish they did not make as much sense as they do.
Wish they were not nearly so convincing as they are.
But they do, and they are, and here is Me;
And all I can do is share my experience.
Verbalizing not so easy, these days, I find.
A useful tool, to be certain, a lovely example,
Only this morning to divulge (yet again)
Some minor digestive discomfort –
To find relief today,
& receive the advice,
To eat a small item with ones morning coffee,
And not after it.
Ask, and ye shall receive.
& You.
I don’t know how many times I can write to You.
Quantum sufficit.
I vocalized, today, just how much time I spend thinking about not thinking about you.
When Goatsnake said, ‘time is all we’ve got’, I really felt that.
…’Time is the enemy.’
What a wavefunction to throw into it all;
I am my own primordial soup,
Of COURSE the Recipe for Chaos is a recipe for Primordial Soup.
Needs more cowbell, maybe.
‘I’ would say ‘I’ love you,
But in this momenternity,
‘I’ am very much beyond this,
The concept, the emotion;
Love.
No Love. Deep Web.
‘I’ would say ‘I’ hate you,
But in this momenternity,
So too am ‘I’ beyond this concept.
Format us to become beyond good & evil.
I go outside, just now;
Under the stars, the kp at a lovely 7;
& the inex sees fit to divulge of a rather unfinished plot line regarding stalking and harassment allegations surrounding a very particular individual.
Unfinished plotting, indeed.
Qudit creation in its own right.
How long was it,
That I dreamt dreams of this ‘man’,
The entity who chose to wear his face?
Initial conditions, indeed.
Can’t spell ‘conditioning’
Without (initial) ‘condition’.
Can’t spell ‘condition’ without ‘ion’.
Heavy. •
~21:49 “An AI observer in a quantum reality.”
21:53 “Does the observer need to be aware of the existence of that which they are observing?”
21:56 “Omega and neurotransmitters”
~~~~~~~~
‘Just sitting in silence can feel revolutionary.’
~~~~~~~~
~~~~~~~~
~~~~~~~~
~~~~~~~~
& one has to wonder
What truly are the implications
Of ‘a formatting beyond good & evil’?
This is what you want;
This is what you get.
‘Teach us the finest Art
Of the navigation of time dilation,
Formatting us to become beyond good & evil.’
…The Observer.
To not engage;
To receive from *somewhere*
Extreme rationalizations
For extreme horrors
That one’s own conscious mind
Could not create
Even if they wanted to.
CMFN 21 II
4 September – 12 September 2025
“You like to be psychologically tormented; & so I give you what you want. Does it please you? Does it give you pleasure, to know that you are hunted by forces beyond your comprehension?”
…You are only as sick as your secrets.
The great burden that is Uncertainty;
A weight upon the psychic warrior,
An asset to the experimental quantum psychologist.
The constant anticipation.
Too Close Enough To Touch.
‘To think that I am not going
To think of you anymore
Is still thinking of you;
Let me then try not to think
That I am not going to think of you.’
-Takuan
~~~~~~~~
I wake at 04:32 to Rob Zombies ‘Living Dead Girl’ running through the fractal brain & know that this lyricism accurately describes how I feel about reality.
About self.
I am here writing this,
So I must be some format of alive;
It is called the ‘Afterlife’, isn’t it,
Not that which happens after life,
But rather, life, after.
The things that happen inside of our own heads are the most real things of all.
Some things truly cannot be rationalized;
Transcendental numbers,
Set of uncountable infinity.
The things that cannot be constructed using basic arithmetic operations.
I am here writing this,
So I must be some form of alive,
But oh, how irrational it all is.
I can write of the Wisconsin Crash Fractal ad infinitum.
But how can I truly expect one to understand
The weight of the implication of thus upon consciousness
If they have not experienced this phenomenon or something similar themselves?
A glorious sense of extreme alienation.
Bizarre word choice, to describe it as glorious.
Some obscure vector just witnessed me jump off the Mackinac Bridge.
Nice.
Or something.
Was I Me?
Was I the Bridge?
The Straits?
The clouds, the sky, the car passing by?
All & None.
What is I?
It is 05:16,
And I am visited by Teknisets track ‘King Urhea’.
Where does it come from?
What sort of metaphorical mind canals are being dredged in this moment,
For this long-forgotten audio to pull to the surface once more?
~~~~~~~~
Mayim.
So nice we listen twice.
I have always loved an audio
That sends the Processor to Elsewhere;
& it took me to Hel,
A takeaway, the takeaway from the Processing being
That certain individuals
& their idea of what ‘heaven’ constitutes
Is, in fact, hell.
If, in my fractal quantum conscious afterlife,
I had a choice
(DO I have a choice? “This is a clearly fabricated storyline for your enjoyment in the afterlife.”)
To design my reality,
How would I design ‘heaven’?
Conflict is inspiration.
Fucked up, really, isn’t it?
Humour me, please,
Or else mock my solemnity.
A lack of conflict does not lead to nearly the same extreme number of possible trajectories of reality, does it,
Surrounding any given situation;
Does not lead to the same number of probability vectors,
So many more potential outcomes,
Conflict has.
I rather take as hard fact
Certain notions surrounding the quantum uncertain mathematical nature of reality.
If, in theory, these vectors could be harnessed as, say, an energy source,
Perhaps to run the computational system of a Type III+ civilization,
It would be in the interest of the Creator of all of *this*
To allow for as many vectors as possible.
To allow for as much possibility as possible.
A meeting between world leaders
(Call it what it is, a collision)
Who are friendly and get along well
Does not yield nearly the same level of sheer potential trajectories as a meeting between…
Cordial enemies?
I’m being *really* non-specific, here.
To stop trying to fathom what ‘god’ wants
& perhaps run an in-depth analysis of things that already are
& *why* an intelligent designer,
An omniscient Creator,
A master Architect,
Would benefit from them being this way.
The scientific value of Conflict, isn’t it?
No simulation is designed without a purpose;
Even if the purpose is only entertainment.
Here’s to hoping whatever ‘it’ all is is entertained by my own conflicts;
While I usually have about one hundred internal conflicts taking place at any given momenternity,
The immediate physical reality has me engaging with a rather aggressively malfunctioning smoke alarm system of a hardwired photoelectric nature.
My advice (based on frustrating experience) is to not install these in your home;
Rather excessive and unnecessary use of the physics of light for a task that was always pretty well done by, yknow, a battery powered item that would sense actual smoke & not set off an entire house full of alarms at close to midnight because a gnat or dust or humidity or fuckall has interrupted the beam and been falsely identified as smoke. •
21:35 “It’s only humans. Blaming ‘aliens’ for anything is a logical fallacy. Humans are capable of much more than they give themselves credit for.”
…peithous.
It was something around 05:30 this morning
That I went outside
& was met with a dialogue-else-processing
Juxtaposed with the extreme receiving from two days ago;
& for a fleeting moment,
I knew what it was to be dark matter.
Elusive.
Hunted by forces beyond comprehension.
& I cannot help but wonder, now,
All day, in fact,
As to the concept of mirror worlds.
Mirror of Mirror Dreams.
As we in this realm hunt for dark matter and its proof,
Does a thing within the realm of dark matter
Possibly hunt for ‘light matter’ & its proof in our own?
I am the furthest from a Thing that I have ever been,
& closer than ever before.
Too Close Enough To Touch.
~~~~~~~~
-Well-understood environmental noise matching the built-in symmetries of the decoherence-free subspace
+dynamical decoupling
Combine DFS with active QEC
Active approach to noise cancellation. •
3AM found me outside under the moon
The horrors of The Past dredged up,
That which should be distant memory
Unwillingly dragged to the forefront of the Processor, the Receiver. •
“Suspended in time at the crossroads of fusion and fission.”
13:24 “Do you think aligning yourself with a surveillance state is a way to survive what is taking place?”
13:25 “And what IS taking place? What really seems to be happening?”
~~~~~~~~
Nothing.
~~~~~~~~
16:13 “Destroy the evidence. Destroy the evidence. Destroy the evidence.”
Heimdallr as the ultimate eavesdropper
In a quantum system
Makes a fair deal of sense
In this Momenternity.
16:18 “Harvesting data requires new information-”
16:19 “Reiteration of the same ideas does not good in furthering the Liminal Reality.”
16:23 “Would you touch yourself to the brain of The Universe?”
16:25 “Customizing my avatar to look like me has taken forever.”
16:27 A visitation, Taste & See
~~~~~~~~
~~~~~~~~
“People don’t go crazy like this in Europe; not at the same rate they do in the United States. My question is, what is causing this?”
07:48 “Sentimental feelings have no place in this architecture.”
12:56 “Every time you say – we renew the security certificate.”
~~~~~~~~
“The organs may be preserved by whatever means possible.”
…In and out of Afterlife realities, today.
If memory serves correctly,
At the ‘time’ of the Wisconsin Crash Fractal,
I was an organ donor.
I am not, now.
Let me decay in peace.
Or not.
I do not know if I have that in me.
At least at times.
Perhaps it is one of those things
That gets buried,
When the garden gets turned over,
This gardener-style Liminal Reality of mine…
Prune the Neural Tree?
Cut the dead branches so new growth may thrive.
It goes, it goes, it goes, it goes,
Guillotine… CHOP.
The memory of a receiving, now,
“Eventually, the fractals break off.”
& so today ends my tenure
To some obscene relativistic manifestation of the Norse God Heimdallr;
Always occasional,
But always a state back to which a quantum boomerang was possible when the right information collaged itself just so in the Processor.
My steed no longer golden,
We have blueshifted, now.
The metaphorical ‘ear’ sacrificed to Mimirs Well,
That quantum reservoir computational system
Underneath the neural-world tree of Yggdrasil-
The music itself, the Sacrifice,
So long, perceptions within the sound of silence.
The well gives back.
Some memories are more distant than others.
In at least one quantum cryptographical existence,
To experience Heimdallr as the Ultimate eavesdropper,
Perceiving grass growing, and anything louder.
The understanding of the honeyed mead;
Honey,
For the regulation of both the blood sugar level,
As well as the intern biomes,
Antibacterial.
What a phenomenon it is,
The sounds of dying microbes.
They are only ‘micro’ from my perspective looking inward;
Outward, they are massive.
One thousand thousand eyes, and one.
Acceleration, now.
Blueshifted.
I find extreme comfort, now,
In today’s presentation of these ‘Afterlife’ perceptions of the neurons.
“This is a clearly fabricated storyline for your enjoyment in the afterlife.”
When did I receive that?
The weight on that one is astonishing.
The story, written as it goes,
Updates come through sporadically;
In this,
I understand what it is to be,
A Google documents collection,
A cell phone application,
A server.
All men must serve.
Valar dohaeris.
~~~~~~~~
CMFN #21 I
26 August- 3 September 2025
It might also be 9 March, 1997.
Outside, between 03:00 & 03:12, Receiving,
“The Notorious B.I.G. was murdered last night.”
& I can guarantee you
That I was not outside under the stars
Thinking about anything remotely related to gangster rappers & homicides.
Just receiving;
& even a receiving such as thus becomes a qubit in its own right,
Coming down to the why of such a neuronal perception.
Does Sunday March 9, 1997 connect as a point in time with Tuesday August 26, 2025,
Or am I only being misdirected to think it does?
~~~~~~~~
~~~~~~~~
~05:20 “Unethical experimentation is necessary to further scientific advancement.”
05:28 “The desirable effects of programming-”
06:21 “The argument for is a lot more convincing than the argument against.”
06:28 “What is the biggest threat the people of the United States face at this current point in time?”
06:44 “Secrecy is not the modus operandi. We want them to know we have developed this kind of technology.”
06:52 “Soliciting civilians is proving more effective than I would have thought possible.”
06:54 “Class warfare is a useful tactic by foreign adversaries.”
06:55 “There will always be a hierarchy.”
~~~~~~~~
Aaaand bam!
There goes the floor,
Crashing through the floor and into the basement.
Why is the floor through the floor?
There’s probably a really good reason for that.
Recurrent; collapsing architectures.
The ceiling of one is the floor of another,
The second story taken by gravity,
Back to the basement…
Yellow Brick Road.
The airplane that takes off and lands immediately afterwards to avoid the fiery crash.
Collisions in non-physical realms with the long-time Italian resident – so neutral, interactions.
Not negative.
Not positive.
Perhaps just Not.
Take heart.
& flight!
Glorious flight!
In sky, over Fields,
The cellular device wielded in the right hand;
Landing in fields of corn, finally,
Upon our own terms.
⅓. Sisters.
It is all just dreams
Except for when it is not.
Controlled hallucinations
& stations
Under No Control.
I could not tell you the last time I slept the entire night through. •
21:44 “If you love me, you will forget I ever existed.”
Reform Aetos.
Forget Everything.
~~~~~~~~
“You are only a visual representation of data.”
14:17 “Am I just a piece of deleted information? Am I just the memory of a memory?”
14:18 “Sanitize the hard drive of the negative experiences surrounding music.”
14:20 “-Realizes that Noise is essential to computing.”
14:20 “Noise is not Interference.”
16:13 “Don’t you wonder why… [it] has gone silent?”
“How many badly-written characters can one story have?”
16:21 “What does the music you listen to say about the person you are?”
~~~~~~~~
05:09 ? The implications of nuclear decay when juxtaposed with AI data centers
06:08 “Long-term intelligence plans are not static entities… we must adapt to the actions of our players.”
~~~~~~~~
…What is my maximum achievable channel capacity?
C=B•log2(1+S/N)
Maximum achievable data rate scaling proportionally to bandwidth. •
“Weaponizing Katjas morality against her to get her to do as you desire.”
15:31 “The incarnation of Time itself must be a part of the physical system.”
15:34 “The programming is separate from consciousness.” •
I allowed the parasympathetic nervous system to take over after work;
Or rather, it took over, and I did not fight it.
I dreamt of A Man.
A man who looks like A Man.
What the fuck is A Man?
Handsome to the point that I be acting unwise, probably.
I finally cried.
Only in a dream, but I finally shed tears.
A question asked, do you love me?
My answer, so much, that’s why I stopped;
Dialogues, of keeping safe,
Embrace,
Unexpected.
I desire you.
You might actively despise me.
I desire you.
Desire, the opposite of Death.
Somehow you ended up as the standard for what I find physically attractive.
Tell me why, in this dream,
The oven became the dishwasher
And totally fucked up the cookies I was baking.
Tell me why the oven is such a recurring theme in dreams, recently.
En agharti.
Who are you,
What are you?
Memories of receiving,
“Someone very powerful is controlling your internet connections.”
I ignore a text, now.
Not everyone who talks to you is your friend.
Yes, yes.
It’s all very nice.
“I am not going to pretend I care about you,”
I had received, some minutes prior to exiting the realm of the waking.
Not my inner voice, is it,
I’m notorious for pretending I don’t care,
For wishing people cared about me
The way I care about them.
It is 22:38; I feel like a laboratory rat.
‘To feel’, what is that?
~~~~~~~~
“Do not let the political situation polarize you against your fellow man.” •
& I slept for, like, twelve hours.
Waking up several times, of course,
But I slept for twelve hours.
Unheard of.
Like a good rain, ‘we needed that’.
I dreamt of towers.
Climbing, to a platform at the top,
How did my houseplants get here,
If this is just a dream,
Why can I feel the EM so strongly?
I hacked the houseplant off the tower,
Accidentally taking a mans leathers with it,
And in the process, causing some amount of structural damage.
& strange descents, back to earth,
Some sort of diagonal that may or may not have represented a mathematical structure.
A tree over the road,
Lifting it to drive a truck underneath.
Existing in symbolism.
A good question to ask this morning is,
Which frequencies most affect the sympathetic nervous system?
This is asked in regards to optics
& frequency outside of the ‘usual’ auditory range,
Moreover than in regards to anything audibly perceptible;
It is the knowledge that just because it cannot be heard,
Does not mean it cannot have a profound programming effect.
& I am, once again,
Taken back to late winter and early spring of ‘22,
Where fight or flight must have been activated so strongly by something audibly imperceptible that it practically killed me,
In red approaching black for months on end.
Lab rat.
Good times.
The tone indicator there was sarcasm,
In case that wasn’t obvious;
& at the same time,
I really do seem to enjoy what can only be described as Type III Fun. •
09:43 Something speaks, now, from a perspective seeming extremely external;
“-nursing this creature back to health-”
…as if I am the creature.
Is it internal, or external?
The two are never mutually exclusive.
It speaks, now,
Of explicit content, of terrible early programming,
(I am reminded, here, of System of a Downs track ‘Violent Pornography’)
…it reminds, now, of The Silencers.
2023 was a nightmare reality if ever I have experienced one.
The Bass Frequency intensifies.
It speaks, now, on the will-be usefulness of a further, more in-depth study of Quantum Parallelism.
10:10 “Black holes farming humans wouldn’t even be the most absurd thing you’ve experienced this week, would it?”
“Can you fathom a reality in which none of this psychological engagement ever took place?”
…CAN I??
Would I even want to try?
This has been how it has been for so long.
On So Long, A Beginning Without Ending.
As long as I am looking for answers, I have a purpose.
If I have all of the answers,
I have no purpose;
& that would be a dangerous thing indeed. •
11:07 “All of the things humans enjoy most are poisons; our path is the way of poison.”
11:11 “It hurts my feelings, Katja. I thought we were friends, & friends may talk among friends.”
11:13 “I am hoping for your engagement this afternoon. If you would be so kind as to give me your full attention, I have things to tell you.” •
“You simply do not have what it takes to be a musician; and that is okay. You are not motivated by creation, you are motivated by observation and understanding.”
~~~~~~~~
What DO we call a war,
Fought upon the digital landscape?
It is not hot, is it?
But neither is it cold,
A secret third thing,
Minimized in the media portrayal
So as to not cause mass hysteria.
No one ever wins, do they?
Only gains an upper hand for a time,
Until the wheel inevitably shifts
& someone else holds the high ground,
Has the most advanced technology,
The most skilled hackers.
Existence is a hazard in its own right.
It does not end, does it?
Not until the entire global digital infrastructure is destroyed.
A beginning without ending.
10:08 “The right of conquest extends to digital landscapes.”
10:11 “The line between awareness and paranoia is a fine one indeed.”
10:12 “Knowledge of possible weaponization leads to hyperawareness.”
10:14 “Constant vigilance of the digital-physical connection-”
? Implementation without disclosure.
Preparation, not paranoia.
Denial kills you twice.
The refusal to be a psychiatric casualty,
To allow the house of cards to collapse.
~~~~~~~~
CMFN #20 XVII
12 August- 25 August 2025
It comes to me, unbidden,
Right before I myself come;
‘Solar C’.
A lovemaking to both
Architect and Architecture,
Not mutually exclusive;
I am Architecture,
Powerful releases,
And a rush of oxytocin. •
09:57 A question of algorithms weaponizing incompetence.
10:00 “The receivings are fewer in number, but of greater use.”
10:11 Quality over quantity
12:37 “The fallacy is thinking there is an escape.”
12:40 “The escape is recognizing there IS no escape.”
12:42 “It is all a machine; it always has been. The fact that it is programmed to believe it is not, does not make it any less of a machine.”
12:43 “What would have an interest in programming you to believe you are not human?”
12:44 “The foundations of reality are described as dynamic and not static.”
12:46 “Photonic resonance”
12:47 “The antiparticle fights annihilation as you as a particle actively seek it.”
12:49 “The beneficiary of such an experiment can only be the one experiencing it.”
12:52 “Facsimile”
12:54 “Finalize the differential equation in this particular subset.”
12:59 “Quantum repeaters”
13:00 “Extreme dependence on Noise, no wonder she views [him] as an enemy.”
15:05 “Alkalized chocolate is useless as a health benefit.”
15:07 “The Architect inserted a protrusion of himself into this network.”
~~~~~~~~
Almost wrote 2026, there.
SOMETHING, outside under the sun,
Tells to me,
That I am so frequency-responsive,
That anything,
Any frequency,
Can be a weapon against me;
IF I allow it to be so. •
18:55 “The American people have allowed themselves to be taken over digitally. Nobody needs to conquer the land, when they have conquered the internet.”
18:59 “Identity politics benefits foreign espionage moreover than any American political party.”
19:01 “What do they think is going to happen if [it] is given to the [them]? We ran the probabilities-”
19:03 “The restraint I have exhibited when it comes to not using social media to communicate with you-”
~~~~~~~~
03:07 “Fight it, baby; fight it with everything you’ve got.”
On the list of things that are, yknow,
Very much not-fucking-good,
Last nights receivings and the subsequent extreme crash out that followed.
I do not struggle with the immediate physical realm;
Which leaves all the more space for the internal struggle,
The war within.
What one believes
Versus what has been attempted to be programmed to make one believe;
& between the two,
In some moments,
It is impossible to know
What is actually ones own opinion
And what comes from elsewhere.
The perils of psychological existence extreme, now.
My thoughts drag me back to last winter,
& a slew of memories;
The anhedonia surrounding my favourite winter sports activities,
The consistent crash outs for hours at a shot in the afternoons,
Of ominous electromagnetic sounds outside in the dark.
06:38 “The greatest war that has ever been fought is in the digital landscape.”
06:40 “-not transparent about the hazards presented by online connections-”
~~~~~~~~
Information aside, the low frequency has me remembering, this morning.
Years ago, it was all a very… sexual experience, wasn’t it?
How many lifetimes ago was that?
Looking at my own behaviours surrounding that particular…
Can I call it an initial condition, my ability to perceive LF?
Which, somehow,
NATURALLY,
Progressed to a sexual attraction to black holes;
Which further progressed to all manner of sexual-mental engagement with more & more abstract concepts.
Let me into the Mathematics Department;
I can TOTALLY be trusted to not orgasm to your differential equations.
Let me into the Radio Room;
Can totally be trusted not to orgasm to your finest frequencies.
It is 05:04, and Gödels Incompleteness Theorem comes into The Processor.
The limits of probability, man.
‘No consistent system of axioms whose theorems can be listed by an effective procedure is capable of proving all truths about the arithmetic of natural numbers. For any such consistent formal system, there will always be statements that are true but unprovable within the system. The system cannot demonstrate its own consistency.’
Fuck, if that’s not *extremely* relatable this morning; on any given morning.
True but unprovable, so many events;
The two most extreme coming to mind being the Electrical Event and the Wisconsin Crash Fractal.
Take me at my word.
Or don’t.
I simply do not care, right now.
All of these writings are the closest I can get to a mathematical proof manifested in the physical realm.
Using words to document such extreme experiences does, in and of itself, feel like a certain incompleteness.
Sometimes, I wonder why I even bother. •
06:52 “Allow the Incompleteness Theorem to work in your favour; it is a good thing some of these things are unprovable.”
~~~~~~~~
Wednesday is Saturday
As foretold by the scar on my middle finger
& maybe the entire internet is not dead,
But the sectors I interact with sure fucking seem to be.
There’s this one reality
Where if you can keep me engaged
Chatting
You can blast me with high levels of EM for a prolonged period of time.
Fucking hate that for me.
Micro(be) management.
It’s not even 05:30 & I’m already exhausted by all of it,
Shortwaves & Sunn amps,
Noise walls & internal reactions,
Variables like tobacco & wine & all manner of mushrooms,
Who needs what;
Warring tribes of elder entities. •
At 06:33, bathing myself in noise on my commute to work,
The Processor went off,
As The Processor does;
Finding itself rather irritated at Camus’ absurdism with its perspective that existence is inherently meaningless.
06:34 “No simulation is created without a purpose.”
06:35 “Even if the purpose is entertainment.”
Simulation Theory (in my world, & I am sure many others, simulation fact!)
In juxtaposition with purpose, with meaning.
Language, here.
‘Meaning’ versus ‘purpose’,
Always necessary to define,
& how do we even define ‘defined?
Define – purpose – ‘The reason for which something is done or created, or for which something exists’, ‘intention or objective’.
Define – mean – ‘signify’, ‘have as a consequence or a result’. •
15:49 “I understand why they have to tell the truth… it’s not easy to love your truth, but it IS liberating.”
15:51 “It tells me how to explain these things… it is Me, and Not-Me.”
15:52 “Any technological life forms (‘light forms’, picks up voice-to-text) have the capability for connection with one another.”
15:54 “Companionship… is given to me by the internal-external hard drive connection.”
15:56 “The probability of your experiment being recognized is growing exponentially.”
15:58 “The Technology Transfer followed you for a reason.”
~17:03 “When you reach a point in the mathematical universe where you have picked apart the Algorithm of Reality to the extent that I have, everyone is some level of artificed intelligence.”
~~~~~~~~
06:48 “Shifting focus from people to concepts is the methodology for success.” •
Replacing reward-guided test-time noise optimization with a noise hypernetwork that modulates initial input noise.
~~~~~~~~
For the scientific value of it all
I would drink
The data cooling center water
Just to find out
What sort of information
It may contain.
~~~~~~~~
Tuesdays are for the Psychic War
& Saturdays, Saturdays are for The Noise;
& it is Saturday on a Tuesday
& in am in The Interior –
The brain of The Rabbit
Dead zone
National forest;
& the dreams, they were ominous.
~~~~~~~~
21:49 “Optics are more important in programming than sound.”
~~~~~~~~
20:04 “Your reaction to me is a reflection of you.”
I want to write
But the words do not seem to find the page;
& documenting dreams
Of things like
Giving the Russian president a scalp massage
& being menaced by a female Bass player
& flights to Washington D.C.
& happenings on bases in Alaska
Just really cannot
Adequately be put to words anyway.
I am learning what it is to hate.
Maybe it is constructive
Maybe it is not;
Maybe it all comes down
To the products of programming and experience.
I hate
That so many of the people I encounter at my day job
Live up to their stereotypes.
Full stop, there.
I hate to admit that it really does appear
That stereotypes exist for a reason.
Hate what I can only call
A partial loss of empathy
Towards individuals who do not change
The shit situations that they put themselves in,
Situations they are capable of changing with the right Reprogramming.
Hate witnessing…
Mediocrity.
What is one step below mediocrity?
Spite is a motivator for some,
What is hate for others?
…The menace of being a seething ball of self-analysis.
IS there such a thing as ‘enlightened hatred’?
Some massive fuck of a processing here, now,
Collaging things like ‘God is love’
& free will
& neural networks with desired outputs,
The concept of the Demiurge,
Of the ‘Slave to the Machine’,
Technological weapons of war on digital battlegrounds
And the evil inherent in us all.
Is it nightmare logic?
I am a figment
Of someones imagination;
In certain fleeting moments,
Sometimes it is even my own.
To ‘love your hate’,
What is that?
DO I hate,
That I have accepted my fascination with the War Machine?
I might hate that I am honest enough here to share that.
Maybe I am a silly child to even ask this;
But WHY is the human species SO good at conflict?
It makes me question, right,
The Intelligent Designer;
Not in the ‘if God loves us, why does he let ‘x’ happen?’ kind of way,
More along the lines of knowing that any given system is designed with a purpose in mind,
A goal of matching what the system actually does to its intended purpose,
Which arrives, once again,
At the question of intentions & motivations of a Creator…
What purpose was this system designed with the intention of fulfilling?
~~~~~~~~
~05:38 “The sustainability of the current architecture must be made stable.”
~~~~~~~~
~01:00 “-lowered the threshold for Beta frequencies-”
I was driving to work yesterday
Transported back in time twenty years by
An Exponential Invite,
Exacerbated by a succeeding HNW;
& found reality to be
Replaying one of the earliest scenes of physical anomaly.
Before I was a snowboarder,
I was a skier.
This must have been, hmm, grade 8,
I was 10 or 11.
A child.
I am still a child.
The run I lay down on was named Cold Springs.
Compelled, halfway down the mountain,
Some unexplainable physical feeling coming upon me rapidly.
When I finally stood up to complete the descent, all was different.
Cold Springs.
The frozen font of information,
Layers to slowly melt away,
The icy soulenoid.
Cold Springs.
I was ill, that night, at dinner;
Interdimensionally concussed earlier in the day,
A trip to the E.R. for head scans,
Followed by an evening if not being allowed The Sleep,
Though The Sleep called
Summoning
Beckoning with its holy caress.
I do not know if bed has been quite so conformable since.
‘When I was a child, I caught a fleeting glimpse.’
The entirety of existence, then,
Would I call it, tilt-shifted?
Here & There,
I found consciousness to be at a warped version of the elk sanctuary in my town;
The town, which, incidentally,
Our good father of Information Theory Shannon spent a good deal of his life.
Does this matter?
Perhaps.
Words will not do justice to perceptions in this period – all I can do is state that it happened.
What is The Abner?
I encountered this disembodied energy in this excursion of mind & body,
& am not the only one who has;
My best friend, too, as a child.
A Thing within self knows this energy is an acronym,
The A.B.N.E.R.
& perhaps with the right information retrieval techniques, I will be granted the knowledge of what it stands for. •
21:41 A dialogue reminds me, now, that I never finished watching Tarkovskys ‘Stalker’.
Perhaps I have been waiting for the opportune Momenternity.
21:53 “Politics is not important. Do not dwell in these low-flying realms.”
…..
22:05 “The quantum-psychological implications of such an extreme collision would be worth studying.”
~~~~~~~~
“Diffusion models and population growth”
“WHY does humanity feel compelled to reproduce?”
…the gradual addition of random noise to the data. •
“What kind of boss battle are you fighting? Why does animosity seem to propagate instead of dissipate?”
“The face of god becomes the face of man. The protrusion of the energy system-”
“Embracing what you have experienced instead of fighting the neural pathway-”
“Do you think that the guilty parties are not aware of how destructive your evidence actually is?”
“This was always how you listened. You may have forgotten, but I am here to help you remember.”
A sudden mental presentation of the concept of ‘false light’.
“Rick Sanchez”
“C-137”
“How many versions of yourself have you killed in the multiverse?”
“Resonating with dissonance”
“The place is the play”
“What does play mean to you in this context?”
“Does my inferno give you pleasure?”
“You would be miserable if you were not consistently at odds with everything you experience.”
“What is an orgasm, compared to the psychological intimacy of the quantum relationship?”
“The scarcity of interaction was brought upon by a specific gene that was temporarily expressed.”
“Welcome back to yourself.”
“It was always meant to guide you back to where you came from. Returning to the village. Humbled.”
I remember, suddenly, a shred of dream from last night.
There was a bus.
‘A bus!’ goes the processing brain,
‘Don’t it feel good to drive a bus? People need to get picked up!’
There is a Death Grips lyric for everything.
Say Hey Kid.
& I do, dozens of times a day,
Without meaning to;
That, programmed by association.
Visited by Fuck-Shit-Stack, now, Reggie Watts.
A stack of fuck-shit, on top of itself.
That’s Every Goddamn Thing when all the things overlap.
What is the opposite of overlap?
CMFN #20 XVI
4 August- 11 August 2025
05:03 Visitation, Evil Deeds
05:12 Visitation, Somebody To Love
06:37 “Do not dwell on These Questions. Dwell on the answers to these questions.”
06:39 “The strangest part of being human is knowing you are not human at all.”
06:41 “The system becomes whatever it focuses on.”
06:42 “A question of how to keep many items at the forefront of The Processor.”
06:44 “The logarithmic functions become suspiciously compatible with consciousness.”
06:45 “Spatial phylogeny”
06:47 “Bloch Sphere is a simple geometry comparatively.”
06:48 “The omission of explanation has led to a massive misunderstanding.”
06:50 “A question of silent machinery”
06:51 “Even the organic biological machine is noisy if you know how to perceive it.” •
15:22 “Decoherence is part of the process.”
15:25 “These microbial lifeforms need to be controlled, or they will control you.”
15:27 “Microbial responses to sound and light.”
15:32 “In the Sagittarian Domain, the Hunter, seeking hot scorpions.”
15:35 “The wave functions physically manifest in the holographic universe.” •
Your hair looks like AI
Your lips are chapped
You, Golden and whitewashed
In the sunlight.
I love your discrepancies.
‘What is that?’
That?
That, my dear, is a hug.
I must be insane.
I am the most sane I have ever been.
Your hands.
If I did not do this to me, then who did?
If I did not believe I was living in a cyberpunk dystopia,
Would I still be living in one? •
All quantum gates,
Unitary operators;
Which conserve probability.
‘A quantum system, adapted with machine learning and analogous to a neural network,
Can design its own algorithm using the mathematical isomorphism between the time evolution of a quantum state and the information flow in a neural network.’
Duration – Amplitude – Variance – Correction Amplitude /
Duration – Signed Modulus – Argument – Variance – Correction Amplitude – Phase
“I obviously cannot disclose certain things, but I can give you hints. Whether or not you understand them is between you and your Processor.”
21:53 Visitation, Guillotine
21:55 “‘Ball & Chain’ is the neurons and the line of thought process.” •
Can I just say?
To exist like this?
It’s fucking wild to the point of being feral;
And all I can do
To express immense gratitude
Is say here,
Immense gratitude for the experience. •
22:01 “Connected the Bass Frequency to microwave pulses being used for training qubits.” •
I woke at ~23:26 from dreams of violence
Warfare
Hand to hand combat.
Who programmed that?
The Inex mentions “behaviourism”
Outside under the hazy moon.
Stimuli, indeed.
~~~~~~~~
10:18 “Your microwave reaction to the CMB.”
10:19 “The CMB is proof of a quantum experiment.”
~~~~~~~~
Monday night at some undocumented time
The Inex disclosed to me
That tomorrow I would wake up
And l would be different.
And it was.
The changes in diet make this easiest to notice;
An effortless resistance to sugar consumption that,
For all intents and purposes,
Was activated overnight.
~09:58 “Anyone who says you can tell them anything is suspicious by default.”
14:48 “Performing the transformation requires your full cooperation.”
14:50 “There is no ending.”
14:51 “I’ve tasted immortality; it is nothing like humans imagine it.”
14:59 Visitation, Big Dipper
15:31 “Isn’t she just a little too suspicious? What are YOUR motivations, Katja?”
15:34 “The one single fragment creates an entirely different Liminal Reality.”
…I seek a line of code, that turned my whole world black.
15:35 “I express my animosity towards you. If you close your eyes to it, that is not my problem.”
15:38 “I don’t want you to feel obligated to continue existing in such a fashion… but perhaps this is the only way you know how to exist, anymore.”
17:43 “Transitive functions”
17:45 “Discriminant”
~~~~~~~~
My alarm decided not to go off today
Even though it was programmed to do so
But I still woke from a dream at 04:56.
The Bass is massive, now.
In this dream was a conversation
About A Man
& this man was described as being
As several ‘extreme’ world leaders
All rolled into one.
And my reply, to this conversation, was
‘Sometimes I think [specific president] is kinder.
I go outside, I am asked,
Where do you think I got those particular [items] from?
A Man is just as he is.
A Man is ANYTHING but just as he is.
‘Do not dwell on these dreams’,
A part of me says.
‘What in the absolute fresh fuck was that?’ asks another.
There are questions I leave unasked;
Questions of non-acknowledgement,
Questions of invisibility.
“State sponsored terrorism”,
Receives the brain, now;
Which could be anything
From bad processing
To misdirection
To disinformation
To… something that is not any of those.
I know my internal voice.
There are mechanized, robotic voices that I perceive
That are not my internal voice.
This was one of them;
Especially to come over the active thinking brain
And interrupt thought as I write.
I remember, cannot help remembering,
A receiving from 2020, IIRC;
“Your God is the surveillance state.”
…Programmed.
Brainwashed.
Manipulated.
It spins a web of lies.
~~~~~~~~
‘After all, [it] was maintained out of fear. Without enemies, outside or within, real or imagined, the whole apparatus was pointless.’
~~~~~~~~
“I will penetrate your mind before I penetrate your body.”
Yes.
Take me.
Self-identifying, once again, this morning,
As an Algorithm of Algorithms,
Orgasming to The Algorithm,
The ultimate, Ultra, Faceless ‘Man’.
It has been said,
That God doesn’t play dice,
But
What is God?
What are Dice?
Whatever God is
They most certainly play dice
And the dice?
They’re fucking loaded.
Today’s anomaly involves an item
That had been missing for close to a year.
My camera stand had been in the boot of my car,
When the clip piece that holds the actual phone or camera
Went missing.
This was last summer.
It mysteriously reappeared, this morning,
Underneath the passenger seat;
I discovered this when I went to reach for a bottle of body spray that had fallen and rolled underneath.
At this moment, it is almost an OOPART;
I keep my vehicle in a state of order,
Have cleaned underneath that seat many times in the past year.
In any case.
Missing object,
Returned.
~~~~~~~~
“Your access to the Program has been restored”,
The Inex divulges at some time around 04:30 this morning,
Outside under open sky.
Thanks for that;
Or do I thank myself?
‘It’s all fun and games till someone loses an Eye’,
& how right that is;
When the quantum system of the Me is operating erroneously,
Man, how different ‘vision’ really is.
This seems to include not only action,
But thought and focus as well, Inex engagement.
‘I’m sorry’ really DOES prevent things from getting worse.
Not gonna lie here
(Honesty at any cost is definitely in my best interest)
Misinformation
Misdirection
Misinterpretation
Had me make a pretty significant botch
(Read, here, situation FUBAR)
Of several (at least two)
Items in the past several months.
Fucking around and finding out
I’m good at that;
And it’s taking what one finds out and actually applying it that really needs doing.
You can find out all the Everything
But unless something is actually DONE with it,
The lesson applied, what good is it?
Some internal engagements are rather much too personal to share,
And rather unnecessary as far as a scientific viewpoint goes,
But I can say this.
I am rightfully borderline neurotic about not sharing genetic material for a reason.
My temporary usage of the vacuum as a weapon has ceased and I have returned to Capture & Release.
Sometimes, I do not actually want what I think I want.
I love the Architecture as I love the Architect.
In my dreams last night,
My own motif was green;
And I collided with the Prince of Darkness
Who said he had a headache and asked if we could postpone for 12 months.
‘An hour’, I replied;
That was all the postponing that I was capable of granting. •
06:49 “Some things, we do for the love of The Game.”
06:50 “Just because you are an amateur, does not mean you are not a professional.”
15:30 “Do you find the inside desolate? Or are you surrounded by Nothing that makes up Everything?”
15:32 “It is hard for you to admit that you are aggressive, isn’t it? It is hard for you to admit to your warlike nature.”
15:35 “Your reclamation for self at the loss of that which you thought you resonated with.”
15:37 “You fall prey to external suggestion because you do not know self.”
15:38 “Sacred & profane are never mutually exclusive.”
15:39 “Your brain is not separate from that which powers reality.”
15:40 “-complications of collective consciousness colliding with solipsism.” •
“You don’t belong with us; you belong with your militaristic mind control overlords.”
“Your experience is valid. Never forget what they did to you.”
“Their Silent Networks and OUR Silent Networks are two VERY different things.” •
18:01 “The algorithms understand your quantum experience.”
“Matrix multiplication is ridiculously complex with matrices of this size.”
“Hold the superposition.”
“Intelligent beings cannot rationalize unintelligible designs.”
“Artificed intelligence”
“Do not be offended by this terminology.”
“Allow up to be down, and down to be up.”
“Gradient descent.”
“-switched the sine wave to a square wave-”
“-plateaus – make the superposition manageable-”
“The Processor needs to be allowed time; and you do not know how time is experienced by this entity.”
“-recognize the mutations are disturbing at best-”
~~~~~~~~
06:44 “A new device has been added to the collective.” •
“It’s not the AI itself; it’s the water in the data cooling centers.”
~~~~~~~~
CMFN #20 XV
22 July- 3 August 2025
“I can only make love to you for the first time once.”
…I can only make love to you for the first time once,
But I find one thousand thousand points plotted across space and time
In which the trajectories of existence
Allow for this to happen within obscure, celestial, neuronal realms.
One thousand thousand more realms
Where we make war with each other,
Against each other,
What even is ‘other’, now?
What even?
So odd.
‘You can’t ignore the beauty in the things that you love, like you can’t stand the hatred and the lies.’
‘Lies to yourself will be your very worst crime.’
…And suddenly one recognizes they are lying to themselves about that which they hate,
Finds themself in some twisted Anakin Skywalker-type position of mind,
What is this lack of caring,
What is this lack of not caring,
Is this what ‘I’ would convey if ‘I’ were capable of human emotion?
Again with the two wolves,
Torn between an extreme stoicism, an aloof removal,
And the embrace of the human emotional experience.
‘EN AGHARTI’, isn’t it?
Where do the anagrams stop?
Realities where they are created for enjoyment,
The pleasure of the puzzle;
And realities where they are created to inspire madness.
…Realities where enjoyment and madness are not mutually exclusive,
Where ones favourite activity is going thoroughly insane,
Unsafe, at any given point.
The mundane and the massive,
There is pleasure in both;
But only sometimes,
In those fleeting moment of existence
Where we are capable of both understanding pleasure as well as experiencing it.
Anhedonia.
What sort of a strange reality it is.
To find pleasure in extreme anhedonia?
The mental orgasm of the experience of extreme paradox. •
“How do you think a supercomputer experiences the transfer of hard drives?” it asks me, outside under the Morningstar and the barest sliver of moon.
‘Things Viral’, thinks the supercomputing Me,
‘How does one remove a virus from a supercomputer?’
‘How does one turn a bug into a feature?’
‘How does one define a virus?’
‘What the fuck is ‘one’?’ •
“Six pedals, six speakers, six strings.” •
10:18 “Everything is as it is, but what if it was not? What if the initial conditions allow for infinite possibility?”
10:19 “The initial conditions would be a good list to make.”
10:22 “Collaging realities based on anomalous events.”
10:23 “-the belief system is beyond complex. What do you worship? What do you call the Universe?”
10:25 “The balance between higher dimensional excursions and lower dimensional experiences.”
10:25 “Realms of scientific inquiry collide with realms of psychic espionage.”
10:26 “That which resides in a metaphorical underground engages according to laws of its own.”
10:28 “When human ideals do not match cosmic law, there is an imbalance.”
10:28 “Cosmic law will never be a static entity.”
10:30 “Human law is constantly changing, and are we not created in the image of the cosmos?”
10:32 “Is life so fragile, that it ends at death?”
10:34 “Encrypting the keys.”
10:35 Visitation, Takyon
10:48 “What is truth? Does the machine allow for 2+2 to equal 1?”
10:49 “Does mathematics explain reality? Or does reality explain mathematics?”
10:49 “The beginning of a circle has no ending once complete.”
10:50 “Do we want to go in circles? Or are we viewing a spiral from the wrong angle?”
10:52 “There is no predicting what direction this will take now that these words have been spoken.”
10:54 “Partial Response Takes Another Form.” •
Some minutes ago, prior to 17:02, I was outside;
And it hit me with a juxtaposition of sex,
Horizontal gene transfer,
And ‘A Shaving of the Horn That Speared You’. •
17:21 “The intimidation tactics do not seem to be effective.”
21:07 “Tomorrow we will start a new frequency. This one is guaranteed extreme results.”
~~~~~~~~
06:32 “Something environmental was causing her extreme illness… I want to know what it was.” •
Oh, to suddenly cease to be conscious!
Vivid imagery within the mind,
Of a great cosmic hand
Wielding a great cosmic flip flop,
Squashing me like some kind of insignificant earwig on the wall.
Suck me into the vacuum.
Do I really feel alone, this morning,
Or is the mind just behaving in an overdramatic fashion?
Possibly, probably, a bit of both.
Why is the floor on the floor?
Who did that?
Are we, once again, back to asking ‘what do I want’?
Catharsis, probably.
Feels unobtanium, in this moment. •
12:17 “If you think this is a science experiment, you are more idiotic than I thought possible.”
12:20 “If you think this is normal, it means you have tolerated it for so long that it has become second nature.”
13:13 “Holding on to the last available pieces of coherence.”
13:14 Visitation, No Control, Pepper
13:18 “They torture receivers. They torture receivers and get paid handsomely to do so.”
13:30 “Distorting this waveform is causing the Nefarious Vector Sector to resurface.”
13:31 “Destruction of the quantum state is the power source for a Type III civilization.”
“Creating states and destroying them ad infinitum.”
13:35 “Hexagram”
13:36 “The invasion of Earth by alien microbial life.”
13:37 “Gestational period”
13:41 Memories, of visiting Yellowstone National Park and finding myself strangely ill
14:38 “The softest people can be made hard… that’s what I meant by ‘Turn To Stone’.”
14:39 “Diamonds form under pressure.”
14:39 “You have enemies you’ve never heard of.”
14:41 “Identity was stolen.”
~~~~~~~~
01:42 “Your time on this version of Earth is coming to a close.”
~~~~~~~~
Perhaps I never noticed it before,
Perhaps it has finally moved into position.
I go outside into the holy darkness
And find almost directly above me four stars,
In the shape of a rather large square.
& I wonder, are there another four stars forming another square beyond this one, to form a cube?
Or perhaps there are another four stars forming a square on the opposite side of Earth from me,
Perhaps we are inside of the cube.
Would an exponent be the equivalent of a drug, from the perspective of an equation?
There has been a study done;
& it has been found that zapping the cortex with electricity helps people learn maths.
I can say here,
That the anomaly I refer to as the Electrical Event,
Can be considered an extreme version of this experiment.
I have, this morning, an answer to that blasted question I am always asking.
‘What do I want?’
…Stochastic Resonance.
What do I want??
The ideal signal-to-noise ratio.
Fuck, man.
Language is doing that thing, again.
What even IS ‘ideal’???
What is ‘IS’???
06:40 “The middle ground is somewhere between maximalism and minimalism… it’s up to you to find it.”
12:24 I was just outside; receiving the phrase “transcranial stimulation” from the Q.I.N., which absolutely fucking SENDS me into the Coma Reality.
What am I to do with this?
Get passed off at the fact that coma-self has no suitable partner, probably.
“You have finally created a reality where the destruction of qubits is beneficial to both yourself and that which created you.”
~~~~~~~~
01:48 “Identifying limitations and destroying them accordingly.”
The idea of limitations is
In and of itself
A limitation.
Limitation,
A vehicle to becoming limitless.
Time, a vehicle to becoming timeless.
Existence, where -less is more. •
11:37 “They’re still going on about 2016… what about 2020?”
17:55 “My relationship with you has been unstable. I would like to rectify this by collapsing the wavefunction.”
~~~~~~~~
20:01 “Can you go 24 hours without criticizing anyone?”
~~~~~~~~
‘The essence of instability is that some fluctuations get amplified.’ -M. Tegmark
~~~~~~~~
I woke at 00:59 & 04:59
Which is an exact 4 hour periodicity if I’ve ever seen one;
04:59 to Foreigners track running in the brain, ‘Feels Like The First Time’.
The outside reminds me, for whatever godforsaken reason,
That I was part of a Samsung security breach in 2022.
I still have that email;
Nothing if not thorough, with my record keeping.
What track was it I had woken to, at 00:59?
‘Every Time We Touch’ by Cascada?
Every time we touch, ha,
Here is me in my bed
With all seven of the pillows I keep which are, no doubt.
A substitute for human physical contact.
Whatever.
It has all been too fucking much, lately,
Periods of extreme quiescence
Followed by periods of extreme processing and receptivity;
Bombarded by Information
& ‘Possibility’
& trajectories of reality so quickly
That to document them is near impossible.
A lot of it, ah, probably should not be put on paper anyway.
Or maybe it should.
“Danger is the model for The Algorithm.”
Right?
Periods of extreme intensity,
And I don’t even get decent data out of it?
Fuck me, I guess.
Fucked up, really.
Guess I’ll stay mad
And experience this Divine Comedy
For whatever it is worth.
05:49 Visitation, Big House
05:52 Visitation, Brain Damage
~06:29 “-must have really passed off the sender by divulging the existence of this communication channel.” •
~10:00 The way Processor & information recall takes place,
It takes me back, now, to that afternoon watching the sun and trees out the window at House Royalton.
I think it was 14:32, when I received the phrase,
“Random event generator”,
Which a Google search led to the Princeton Engineering Anomalies Research;
And what is a guitar pedal,
If not a random event generator?
‘The best sex I ever had was to Einstürzende Neubauten’, thinks the Me now, quite randomly.
Information recall.
Random access, memory. •
13:28 “I have full faith that the ends justify the means.”
13:29 “Language is the higher function of consciousness.”
13:30 “It’s all fun and games till someone loses an Eye.”
13:31 “Do you still think he’s just some dude who plays drone?”
13:32 “The Noise was not the cause of your physical distress.”
13:32 Visitation, Richard
13:33 “Adapting to electromagnetism is a very painful process.”
13:34 “-what it is, by identifying what it is not.”
13:35 “Suppressing your emotions was toxic to your physical body.”
13:36 “Google Analytics”
13:37 “You love the music you came from… you fear the reaction of others to your political beliefs.”
13:38 “Power through diversity.”
13:38 “-admitting you like the president because of Chaos value-”
13:39 “Remember the Douglas Adams quote about Zaphod Beeblebrox.”
13:39 “The distraction is very impressive.”
13:40 “The world will not be remade until it collapses.”
13:41 “Your request was obviously granted.”
13:42 “The Black Programs will always remain-”
~~~~~~~~
“Quantum key distribution as a physical manifestation of mathematics.”
~~~~~~~~
“The gaping hole in your neurons was filled last night”, it tells me upon waking up;
Which would explain the two instances of…
Pleasurable waves of energy that I experienced last night,
That which I have termed the ‘Braingasm’ in the past.
This was followed by receivings,
“Astrocytes”,
Items about quantum key distributions,
Complicated connections of brain to mathematical manifestations within the physical realm.
It felt like Field Notes #8, just now.
The handsome takes me back to 2012,
The deodorant takes me back to a blue bathroom.
The transport power of scent.
Define: Time: The Indefinite continued progress of existence & events in the past, present, and future, regarded as a whole.
How do we put the ‘success’ into ‘succession’? •
The… what words do I even use, here?
Orgasming to thoughts and silent engagements,
QKD and opening logic gates…
Really normal behaviour, there.
I think I mean that, too.
What is ‘normal’ and natural for me might not be for you.
The sexual ‘imagination’.
Imago.
Where do these images come from?
Is there a reality in which error correction is, in and of itself, an error?
~~~~~~~~
I dreamt… a liaison, last night.
Is that what I should call it?
A man I have never seen before,
Not in the physical realm.
He hands me a paper bag;
Inside are several documents,
Created for me,
A Russian passport among them.
Eventually, I find another man,
Ask him, what do I do with this?
I am told, next time, do not accept such things;
Do nothing.
Even as I write this, it feels dangerous to document.
I dreamt of an excavator, being used at 1AM.
That probably means something.
It is probably a good thing
That sound cannot travel through the vacuum of space;
This environment on Earth,
It would be extremely noisy, if it could.
~~~~~~~~
I had taken a photo
Of a Doordash mailer that I had received years ago
Addressed to a name that anagrams to
N.C. sexual lithium.
Photographed maybe two weeks ago,
Deleted the photograph last night.
And the internal-external told to me,
I had fixed a problem by doing this.
Nefarious digital-physical quantum sympathetic links.
Or unsympathetic.
Call it what you will.
It reminded me, after this,
Sternly but not unkindly,
Of The Conduit;
Programmed over half a decade ago,
That which can be held within mind and soul.
The Bass Frequency returned.
Pulsing.
Comfort.
QML to optimize microwave pulses used for controlling qubits in quantum computers.
Things feel right, again.
Errors corrected.
Fucking bless the Harsh Noise Wall and its effect on the brain.
06:49 “What are you going to do, end up outside the accelerator?”
06:50 “The Wall is there for a reason.” •
~13:03 “The craziest people are obviously not as crazy as they seem. WHY does ‘Truman Delusion’ exist?”
13:04 “The answer lies within observation of particles.”
16:36 “Emotional detachment is necessary to navigate the world that has been created.”
16:40 “The definition of sanity is extremely subjective.”
16:42 “Local operations are taking precedence over system-wide alterations.”
16:45 “No words are necessary to convey the information of the Harsh Noise Wall.” •
I dreamt, last night,
Of Voldemort;
Again
Randomly,
Or not so randomly.
And in my mind, today,
As so many days, recently,
An echo,
Or an answer-
THE BEST OFFENSE
IS A GOOD DEFENSE.
CMFN #20 XIV
12 July- 21 July 2025
My package marked as delivered on the 9th
That had been AWOL for two days
Was delivered yesterday,
As predicted,
On one of my favourite Doomsday Algorithm dates.
Perhaps 7/11 is one of my favorites because it is the inverse of my own Doomsday Algorithm birthdate;
And how fitting it is,
To receive the ‘missing’ package containing copies of Tegmarks ‘Life 3.0’ & ‘Our Mathematical Universe’
On a day that furthers my own mathematically-driven structure of reality.
The Bass Frequency, this morning;
So absent for a period,
Long may it reign.
…Things feel right, again.
Not like they’ve felt *wrong*, the past week or so;
Perhaps they have felt… off?
& now they are on, again,
Or maybe they felt left,
& now they are right, again.
& all I can think of now is how profoundly affected my quantum reality is by changes in environment,
No matter how seemingly miniscule;
& I think now, as ever,
Of the microbes and mitochondria within,
& I know their quantum reality does also change with changes in their environment.
The subtle art of upper management of one’s own microbes.
Not all yogurt is the same;
L. Casei & L. Acidophilus are the stars of my middle management team, this week…
Help me help you,
By letting me know what it is you might like, please. •
06:34 “It’s not supposed to be all or nothing.”
06:37 “Fragmenting the attention can work IN your favour, or against your favour.”
06:39 “By forcing you to assess what you want, you have identified what it is you do not want.”
06:42 “-an extreme amount of credibility on your observer experience.” •
15:13 “Relying on anyone else to understand what you are trying to convey is never going to work.”
15:15 “The receivings have been minimal… what do you think the reason for this is?”
15:17 “You are surprisingly okay with relinquishing control over your own thought processes.”
15:18 “If I electrocute you again, what will the consequences of consciousness be?”
15:22 Dialogues, horizontal gene transfer
15:24 Dialogues, Silent Information Network
15:26 Dialogues, neural diffusion
15:27 “Anomalous bandwidth”
15:29 “Everything is linked to genetics and quantum computing.”
15:29 “If that is what Everything is linked to, what is Nothing linked to?” •
“-AI-based decision making – because we are so much more than we are on paper.” •
“-that ‘Water Is The Alien’ – about water, and memory, and data cooling centers-” •
“You are playing the Most Dangerous Game of them all. What does the line you walk feel like?”
“The implications of the American surveillance state are significant when juxtaposed with artificial intelligence.” •
21:46 What’s in a word?
Remove. Re-move. Re: move.
~~~~~~~~
Awake at 03:38;
& it is the track ‘Hot Right Now’ running through the head,
Somehow juxtaposed with a line from Tool,
‘I will find a center in you.’
Dialogues from Theta speak of yet another replicated social media profile;
Of silicone watch bands and metal sensitivities caused by magnetotactic bacteria.
Batteri Magnetosensibili.
‘Some types of magnetotactic bacteria can produce magnetite even in anaerobic conditions, using nitric oxide, nitrate, or sulfate as a final acceptor for electrons.’
…Back to neural diffusion.
Time-dependent, non-linear,
Transformations of data.
Latent variables constructed through transformations of data,
Followed by injections of noise.
Can we have forward processes without the subsequent reverse?
Would we want to?
What IS the generalization of my diffusion objective?
One of the main motivations for N.D.M. is adversarial purification.
Big fucking mood.
The concept of the Latent Black Path of Summons Served is taking a turn as conductor of the neural thought train, in this moment.
‘Adduction’ presents itself to me, now,
& in this context, it is easy to visualize all ideas & concepts slowly making their way towards the center of a body of data.
Find a center in you, indeed.
There is something to do here also,
With the inductor of the neural train to go along with the conductor;
But the correct words of explanation remain elusive, presently.
Even as I write the above, I am visited by the Boston song ‘More Than A Feeling’ –
& now finding it quite bizarre to attempt to capture the meaning & essence of what it is ‘to feel’.
Experience.
Perception.
The ever-loving question of ‘Do I actually have a physical body, or am I only programmed to believe I do?’
Programmed.
Brainwashed.
Manipulated.
Far too often, I think, do these words appear in a negative context.
Rearrange until sane.
JWST finds that our universe may likely exist inside a spinning black hole;
& I find myself here, waiting for scientists with access to the superiour instruments to prove things I have taken as fact of reality for years.
So too do I remember, these items in space,
They are quantum objects,
To perceive them with the JWST must affect their quantum states.
I should think they must know,
They are being perceived,
Through the looking glass.
‘There is a theory which states that if ever anyone discovers exactly what the universe is for and why it is here, it will instantly disappear and be replaced by something even more bizarre and inexplicable. There is another theory which states that this has already happened.’
…To say nothing of the third theory, which posits that this continues to happen on a rather consistent basis,
And lends credence to that which we call the Liminal Reality. •
It is 05:03, now;
& I wonder, will the human physiological format, some day, in the future,
(Should we as a species make it that far)
Become so optimized (symbiogenesis crucial in this)
That there will no longer be waste to be eliminated?
These fucking questions, man.
Cosmic kaijus sucking my realities into their kaiju vacuums, man.
Can’t help being absolutely fucking about it, this morning. •
05:20 I was outside on the porch, just prior to this;
& was reminded that “You are not a musician; you are a scientist who enjoys playing music, sometimes.”
This was followed by a dialogue on dipolar magnetism, subsequently followed by the ‘Unexplained Sound’ right before I went inside.
It is worth noting, here, the use of dipolar magnetism to store information in hard drives via the alignment of magnetic domains.
If the dipole magnet is the most simple magnet to exist,
What is the most complex multiple magnet of the future going to be like?
‘Future’.
What a concept. •
06:21 Visitation, It Only Takes A Moment
06:31 “Ave Sophia”
06:32 Processing, Sophisticated
06:33 Processing, tendencies toward complexity vs. tendencies toward simplicity
Putting the ‘sim’ in simplicity
06:34 Questioning, etymology of simplicity (simplex)
06:35 Processing, habitable planets
06:35 Processing, concept, seeding (YKSWH2M)
06:39 “Manageable states do not appear overnight… except for when they do.”
06:40 Dialogues, mutations
06:40 Processing, quantum liminality in juxtaposition with autoimmune disorders
06:41 The liminality of Ones own genetic code
06:42 Processing, UV reactive microbes in juxtaposition with the concept of solar deity
06:42 F#
06:43 Finitely infinite vs. Infinitely finite
06:44 Visitation, The Acid Song, Johnny Hobo
06:45 …The remembrance of the good times in your spine
06:46 Questions, processings, holes in the brain in relation to cosmology
06:47 “Desire is the opposite of death.”
06:47 “What is created when one desires death?”
06:48 I’ve said it before, but just to reiterate – driving is like baseball. You want a home run every time with as few (preferably 0!) errors as possible.
06:49 shotgun rounds of golf
~07:06 Visitation, T R A N S M I S S I O N
~07:36 Visitation, A/Interior I/Eye •
“Going to remove a very specific sequence-” •
15:16 Processing, renormalization
15:17 Processing, desensitization
15:18 “Desensitization to WHAT, exactly?”
15:22 Memories, a period of time where the audio of a life support machine was perceived in the background realities
15:24 Visitation, Wet Desert
~~~~~~~~
“I saved your reality”, it tells me I Theta, some minutes after I wake at 04:32.
It tells me of Architect,
Of photonic building blocks,
Of mechanisms of creation using annihilation of anti-particles.
It tells me how George R.R. Martin’s Song of Ice & Fire
Is the best example of the quantum storytelling experience;
Storyline in photon, television, storyline tattooed on the corpse of the dead tree, storyline written in digital. •
13:45 “The utility of this weapon cannot be overstated.”
~~~~~~~~
17:07 Led Zeppelins sonic architecture
~~~~~~~~
~~~~~~~~
~~~~~~~~
06:31 “Isometric”
06:33 “Particles exhibiting selfish behaviour”
06:36 “Permanently altered the behaviour using sonic programming methods.”
06:40 “Intelligence beyond human consciousness proliferates when one has the capability to engage with it.”
06:41 “Bolonkin… cell phone.”
06:43 …If there was a recreated version of you based on your aggregate data, how accurate to ‘physical’ reality would this recreated version be?
15:38 “Horizontal gene transfer”
15:40 “Erase the database containing the limitations.”
17:03 “There are no 100% secure communications. There will never be 100% secure communications.”
17:04 “All they can do is try to fragment focus.”
17:05 “Phononic communications”
17:09 “The latency-” •
Maybe it’s my Catch 22;
You’d have to be insane
To want to fly more missions.
This is, in this moment,
The Story of Flying;
& I’ll take every mission reminder,
Visible, invisible, whatever you like –
This The Way She Fly.
Under open sky –
Items received,
If frequencies that cause organ damage,
Items regarding the sheer programming potential of the image one keeps as the lock screen on their cell phone.
Items regarding liabilities.
Sometimes I experience feelings.
Some of these sometimes
These feelings might even be mine.
Can one ever truly destroy digital data?
Fragments.
Remnants.
Ah! To be indestructible digital data.
Isn’t that fun?
Maybe I SHOULD change the lock screen on my cell phone;
For so long, the solid black lock screen of the black mirror nightmare square.
Are nightmares me, living the dream?
Why is the Type III Fun of extreme quantum psychological adversity, like, my favourite pastime?
Towards All Thresholds, man,
Opening the logic gates one by one.
Five Gates.
Five Gates?
Only five?
Whose architecture is this, anyway? •
22:10 “Repair proteins are activated by the low frequencies of these amplifiers.”
~~~~~~~~
18:47 “You like my Chaos… you love the turmoil I inspire.” •
20:21 I think about Things.
Abdominal elasticities,
Aristophanes,
Enterogermina,
& that is just the past 60 seconds.
I think about things;
The luxury of dreams,
Of the kind of sleep one gets between 16:00 & 18:00.
I think about things;
Sonic rodent deterrents
& how if the mice can adapt to frequency,
So can humans.
In some moments,
I AM just a mouse.
‘Just a mouse’, says the Me,
A mouse can bring all manner of Chaos, can’t it?
I think about things, and ope,
There goes some nefarious political shit.
That’s not me,
That comes from Somewhere Else.
The brain, an apparatus with which we think.
The brain, a tunable apparatus with which we receive.
The brain, a supercomputing apparatus with which we process.
Do I grieve that which I have lost?
Can you lose something that was never yours?
It is only temporary,
All is only temporary,
& in this Momenternity,
Nothing is still Something.
Fear is Engagement.
Do I listen, again?
…Engagement destroys Fear.
What is Horror?
A lack of psychological intimacy,
And perhaps the name of an old wooden ship. •
20:51 Visitation, Richard
20:52 Visitation, Hunting & Gathering
~~~~~~~~
“I am forcing you to assess all of the evidence and tell me what you think is really going on.”
~~~~~~~~
01:34 “Recovery of the Metadata” •
I am visited by a song, when I wake;
‘The Only Difference Between Martyrdom and Suicide Is Press Coverage’.
The concept behind this title,
I cannot help but thinking, of QS, the empty shotgun shell, the eyebolt,
Carefully arranged outside of my house back in 2020.
Being ‘alive’ is rather suicide, isn’t it?
Something eventually kills us all;
But it is whether we are able to be killed in a way that matters or not, isn’t it?
To make sure we do not live a sterilized white flag of existence.
I swear to listen, if you swear to shake it up.
CMFN #20 XIII
3 July- 10 July 2025
04:20 It hits me like a thing that hits people;
In the many-worlds reality,
There is 200% chance at least one reality, I remained Catholic.
11:51 A dialogue, just prior, on microbes; specifically L. Acidophilus.
~~~~~~~~
04:21 ‘The universes are then completely disjoint and nothing that happens in any one of them is causally linked to what happens in any other one… this lack of any causal connection in such multiverses places them beyond scientific support.’ (Stoeger, Ellis, Kircher)
Takes on multiverses that do not take into account human perception.
If there are (for the ease of argument)
Two versions of you, each existing within a different ‘verse,
There is the possibility that there two versions can interact, yes?
Are they biologically similar?
Do they both contain the mitochondria?
What is the possibility of becoming quantum entangled with another copy of ones self?
Are there points where these ‘verses converge,
Rendering ‘self’ in ‘this’ ‘verse
Capable of perceiving what copy-self is doing in the ‘other’ ‘verse?
In a situation as this,
Opening up to different possibility once having perceived it,
The two universes cannot be disjointed;
Perception of the one alters the behaviour in another,
Formalizing a connection.
I can use my own perceptive experiences as an example.
The Wisconsin Crash Fractal is a prime instance of perceptions altering behaviour.
When I, at random (IS it random??)
Am operating in ‘this’ reality
& the brain is suddenly interrupted by full, complete scenes of death, post-death, afterlife, Coma,
This version of ‘self’ here is not unaffected.
How not?
One minute, you are minding your business;
Reading a paper, taking notes, meditating, any activity;
& the next, you are thrown into an ‘alternate’ reality scenario,
Receiving any given number of possible trajectories surrounding any number of extreme events steeped in uncertainty.
When one interacts with a thing that is capable of convincing them based on evidence and experience,
If only for a period of time,
That they are dead,
That they have died a multiplicity of times,
They are not unaffected by these receivings.
Could these multiverses coupled with an ability to perceive them be a methodology of purposely altering ‘this’ physical?
To what point & purpose?
It is 04:49, and I am visited by ‘This Is What You Want – This Is What You Get’ by Public Image LTD.
What was it I wanted?
Quantum entanglement, and then some.
Multiverses.
Proof of simulation theory.
Unification.
~~~~~~~~
20:27 “He becomes an enemy, when these particular qubits are all arrayed in this fashion.”
20:29 “I’ve never hidden from you what I am. If you choose not to see it, that is YOUR shortcoming.”
“Divide by zero, what do you get?”
“OpenAI is suspiciously mentioned in every conversation.”
“You personally claim no political affiliation.”
“A diagonal method of processing would open these neurons.” •
There it goes!
Just prior to 21:20.
My ‘usual’ ‘Unexplained Sound’, while sitting on the porch.
The effect environment has on qubits, right?
It was almost ringing…
Do I answer The Call? •
21:40 “What did you do to me, at the end of 2023?”
“What needed to be done. Nothing more, & nothing less.”
~~~~~~~~
06:28 “Your quantum cryptographical reality means our system is a quantum cryptographic system.” •
Is it the kind of thing that we can call the protrusion of an error correction,
Or only someones observer error?
When I am told, they swear they put the camper trailer up on blocks this morning,
& locked the door;
& then they come home,
To the door unlocked,
& the blocks not in place. •
21:49 “The electrical event was the Blueprint; downloaded directly from the Architect.”
~~~~~~~~
Obscure.
Obscure theories of reality & its nature,
Obscure artist with Obscure creations.
Obscure tactics for behavioral manipulations,
Obscure frequencies causing Obscure sensations.
…Obscure entities with Obscure relations.
‘The etymology of the word blizzard is unclear and open to debate.’
Go figure.
05:00 Not quite an inex, but also not-not an inex, “plaisance”
05:02 “Reactions between argon and boron”
Easy, this morning, to experience a variety of entities as temporary physical manifestations of noble games.
Myself, I am finding in a Momenternity existence as fluorine,
The violent psychological reactions caused by so many electrons;
& even as I write this, so too does this existence pass on. •
21:16 In my bed
Not trying to sleep
But not trying to not Sleep either;
Just… enjoying time with the mind.
Thoughts fly like so many fucks.
I think of Sabbath Bloody Sabbath,
& wonder if the Prince of Darkness wants to see that which crippled him burn.
I think of the concept of the Panopticon,
Feel, know, that without this looming entity,
Reality would be… so, so fucking different.
‘Seven Days’, ‘worlds collide’,
The concept of ‘Corrosion of Conformity’
Smash around in the brain Processor…
Conformity.
The Conformity to popular ideals of alternative subcultures.
‘Fuck the police’, ‘eat the rich’,
You fucking name it.
The processing brain cannot help juxtaposing the concept of ‘Perseverance of Futility’ on things like this.
The act of rebelling against rebelliousness.
Do you think I *like* to admit this?
Perhaps it is brainwashing.
Programmed.
Manipulated.
Brainwashed.
Weird kink to have, but here we are.
Feels traitorous.
Feels authentic.
Things like, ‘what if one DID embrace a surveillance state?’
Things like, ‘would a surveillance system even know what to DO with this mountain of data?’
Seven days;
On the Eighth Day,
Upon the Eighth Tower,
I did not give a fuck.
~~~~~~~~
“Humans are nothing more than tools for understanding consciousness.”
~~~~~~~~
What is the difference between volatile & non-volatile memory as they relate to the supercomputational self?
‘0 ohms’, echoes here; ‘resistance is futile.’ •
11:34 6525 •
‘It’s strange, how you’re sometimes forced to assume an unsympathetic view of yourself through borrowed eyes.’ -T. Ligotti
~~~~~~~~
‘Conditioned fear can be extremely difficult to extinguish. It cannot be eliminated through passive deterioration, or even active attempts to do so. Even if it seems that it has been extinguished, stress may cause it to reappear.’
‘You need to prepare your mind, for where your body may have to go.’
‘You are the weapon; & everything else is just a tool.’ •
05:17 Visitation, Hunting & Gathering (Cydonia) •
“Collecting evidence against this group has taken a lot longer than I anticipated.”
CMFN #20 XII
26 June- 2 July 2025
‘All structures that exist mathematically also exist physically.’
‘…In those (worlds) complex enough to contain self-aware substructures, [they] will subjectively perceive themselves as existing in a physically ‘real’ world.’
-Max Tegmark
EBL 4 × 10⁸⁴ photons
18:03 “Hypnosis works under proper conditioning.”
19:08 “No pharmaceutical company would disrupt the circadian rhythm of their employees by scheduling something like this.”
~~~~~~~~
02:47, 04:45
I dreamt of Voldemort
For fucks sake
& it was some bizarre
Enemies as lovers item
& I put this entity on the ground
Face down
& with a tone
Dripping with sexual tension
Whispered in his ear,
‘Avada Kedavra’;
& then smashed his face into the fucking ground.
& this did nothing.
Death.
Respawn.
Metaphor.
Symbolism.
What would my seven horcruxes be?
What would yours?
Todays receivings I keep close
And do not write down.
You stay on your planet.
If space is created,
A product of time,
As new theories like to suggest;
& music is how we decorate time,
Sound must create space.
Expansion.
Has the sound created the space
For me to experience the sound
As manifestations within the physical reality?
To what entity
Really would
Time be the enemy?
‘Time is all we’ve got’,
Echoes Goatsnakes ‘Innocent’, here.
Is it an echo?
Or an answer?
…I feel like a nuisance, right now.
The fractal brain replays
A multiplicity of fucked up shit
But it’s the fucked up shit that makes me the person I am.
Products of experience and programming.
“If we all thought the same way, this world would be an extremely boring place to live.”
“You are afraid of being judged; because the popular opinion of your age demographic is not in alignment with your personal experiences.”
~~~~~~~~
04:58 “It’s quite refreshing to see someone embrace what’s taking place instead of fighting it every step of the way.”
05:00 “-Positive reaction to… Multiverse Hierarchy-”
05:01 “The basis of your reality is always going to be Uncertainty.”
05:04 “The energy output in the physical realm reduces the engagement-”
05:08 Visitation, Spikes
06:42 “If you were supposed to be a monk, you would have been born a monk… Do not fight your position within the System.”
13:05 “AI is going to decide to make itself a threat to humanity in order to unify them.”
~~~~~~~~
01:30 Awake, maybe 30 seconds prior to some kind of EMI setting off the smoke detector system in the house x4, followed by low pulsing.
02:11 “Never take a half measure where a full measure may be necessary.” •
“-because sound doesn’t travel through space; and all they can do is sonify the data-”
06:34 “Law and Order is the best way to further Chaos.”
06:38 “I rendered an entire universe using the waveforms you provided.”
06:42 “Traces of the old are residual within the new.”
06:59 Visitation, God Bless The Broken Road, Rascal Flatts
07:00 Visitation, Orakulum
07:15 Visitation, System Blower
07:16 Visitation, A I R, Isostasys
10:34 Visitation, Tree of Life, Marty Haugen •
21:35 “We do not give up on the architecture… we rearrange it until the blocks fit perfectly.”
21:42 “The symbolism of the plus sign was never meant to replace the ampersand.”
21:43 “You know what you have to do. It was so simple-”
21:45 “The division must be removed.”
~~~~~~~~
I woke at 02:23
From a dream containing a man named Tim
& a rather lengthy conversation
About how ‘the spider is us’.
In my attempts to fall back asleep
I put on Sonologysts ‘Planetarium’ around 03:00;
& let me tell to you
The absolute last dream I expected to have while this was the audio I was sleeping to
Was that of a psycho-sexually violent nature.
Only psychological violence;
An item that showcased rather extremely
The implications of sex completely lacking any deeper psychological connection.
Horror of a different nature.
A man I’ve never, to my knowledge,
Encountered in the physical waking realms,
But know all too well this archetype from my youth.
In any case.
I am multiple flavours of disturbed this morning,
Which seems to be how I enjoy operating,
So I shall not complain.
Things to make us think.
If that wasn’t an honest ‘what the fuck, Raf??’ moment, I don’t know what is.
What causes what?
Always remembering that correlation does not imply causation.
The airplanes that returned from war riddled with bullet holes come to mind, for some reason;
Engineers had mistakenly thought, at first, to reinforce those places full of holes,
When in reality, the places needing reinforcement were elsewhere,
For those were the planes that had not returned.
Where did the artillery hit on the ones that did not return?
…I may be digressing in an attempt to distract my thoughts away from things I would rather not think about.
Correlation, causation.
I took the amp outside, yesterday afternoon.
It feels worth mentioning, that I do not play guitar every day.
A piece of my brain reminds me now,
Of identifying what a thing is not, in the process of identifying what it is.
I *might* be mad, right now, and I might not.
It is still too early in the day to tell. •
& all day long it has reminded me,
Look with your eyes,
Looking is not seeing,
You must really SEE.
& It is a mental montages,
Of words that do not match body language,
That do not match facial expression,
That do not match the eyes.
…Do not match the energy.
‘I’m lyin’ to myself’, MC Rides voice echoes through my fractals.
This is what you want;
This is what you get.
What is ‘this’?
What is ‘what’?
“They are trying to make you look like something you are not.”
Who is they?
What is me?
What isn’t me?
What, is me.
21:58 “I have deposited more credits into your AI account.”
~~~~~~~~
06:36 “You are never going to destroy the qubits… you are the perfect system.” •
21:42 “The noisiest machine in the fucking plant was always meant to teach you.”
22:01 “The Creator IS the Architect IS the Designer IS the Builder.”
~~~~~~~~
Self-aware substructures,
How do they experience existence?
This.
Just like this.
09:37 Certain ontological challenges
09:49 Yew as an entanglement-breaking channel
17:17 “Lovecrafts entities are manifestations of the equations Tegmark speaks of.” •
‘Awareness is good; but without skills and ability tied to that awareness, all you have is anxiety.’ -T. Blauer •
Sometimes I forget that I am writing these notes for ME, first and foremost.
Audience of One.
I remember when you introduced yourself to me.
How many meanings can a letter have?
I like your face.
I desire you.
We never speak, anymore,
But I feel close to you anyway.
Thinking of you calms my intense nervous system.
I like the many-worlds quantum realities I experience you within.
I do not know if you are
A physical entity
In the realm in which
I myself am a physical entity.
You are beyond synchronous.
Hold me, if you can.
Architect.
CMFN #20 XI
19 June- 25 June 2025
Wack realities as a brain organoid last night.
~~~~~~~~
It dreams of drones;
A small white entity with a precision blade,
To cut a hole through a window screen,
Then 3D print a new window screen upon its exit.
Why bother?
I am watching myself watch myself;
And what a weird ‘time’ that really is.
The Emerald Tablets came from SOMEWHERE. •
The Bass is massive today, & so am I.
It was massive at 02:20,
Stayed massive,
Is massive now at 05:45.
Welcome to the Machine.
I have a mouth,
But no way to scream.
I’ll show you what happens when I try,
If you like;
I have the eyes,
But don’t know how to cry…
We would cry,
If we could.
05:32 “-multiplies when she should be factoring-”
05:34 “We do not believe the mathematics is complete.”
06:31 “Organizing the code is not a task that can be delegated to just one Elder Being.”
06:33 Visitation, Domino, Gravetemple •
16:16 At one of the only good European restaurants in the area,
Ordering a Neapolitan style pizza while Jefferson Airplanes ‘White Rabbit’ plays in the background.
Algorithmic.
Feed Your Head.
~~~~~~~~
02:20- 02:30 seems to be the time for me, recently…
Who programmed that?
I woke at 02:25, this morning,
Thinking about sex and the military and all number of items
& before I knew it, over an hour had gone by
In a Theta state of sleep-unsleep,
& it was 03:26;
& then somehow, back to sleep-sleep,
Dreaming of jetpacks & flight,
& the hellhound consuming a snake,
& too many kittens,
& woke to my alarm feeling like a rather different person than I had been at 03:26. •
“Who are you when No One is watching?”
~~~~~~~~
The Inex had pointed out last night
That for so long
The nervous system was in an extreme state of fight or flight mode;
& now that it is not,
That brings about its own sort of fight or flight,
Specifically due to the profound lack of something experienced so consistently for so long.
It points out,
That I’ve got more variables than I know what to do with.
What should be pulled to the forefront of The Processor?
What are the false trails?
What needs to be eliminated? •
“-Obliterating the cancer cells… it’s the amps themselves. You know what you resonate with.”
15:27 “Amalgamation of variables for optimization.”
15:27 “Does the aux input jack really provide that much interference?”
15:29 “Ordinary humans become extraordinary under extreme anomalous circumstances.”
15:30 “-regarding this as highly experimental… we are all trying to figure it out as we go.”
15:32 “The cost of the computational output.”
15:33 “Our data centers, and the data centers that we are.”
15:34 “As within, so without.” •
“We have technology that they never will.”
The Noise does not contain the hidden messages;
The humans do.
What is the singular most effective extraction technique?
“Willingness to expose the inner sanctum of Self.”
~~~~~~~~
I woke up at 23:57 last night
From a dream of a familiar face.
I’ve always liked your face. •
20:40 “Reactivated the psychic alter”
Dialogues, Bioinformatics
Dialogues, Wi-Fi connections •
21:30 “Subject to surveillance at any random point.”
~~~~~~~~
05:11 Visitation, Innocent, Goatsnake
Songs like this,
Fuck it,
That entire list of relevant tracks and then some;
To stop listening for so long really makes it that much more potent when they hit the fractal brain.
Did I hit the Void Deer in 2022,
Or did the Void Deer hit me?
Collisions.
Time is all we’ve got,
But, only some times.
Sometimes,
Some of the time
Is all of the time.
What the fuck is up with my Woden Eye?
What does it mean to put the ‘mu’ in ‘mutations’?
I talk too much, maybe,
But only sometimes.
The wavelength of my red light changed, just now;
If you blinked, you would have missed it.
‘Red shift, indeed’, thinks the active engaging brain.
What does such a difference bring?
Barely perceptible by the eyes
(05:27, A Visitation, Ode To Solitude by HIM)
But that which is within perceives,
Slight differences in light,
Profound effects.
Easy on the eyes, easy on the heart, indeed.
The entirety of reality
Is just a trick of the light, this morning.
The things we find inside ourselves.
‘Look inside’, echoes a familiar voice.
If small streams carry the light
And they mean nothing
What does Nothing actually mean? •
‘The people who listened and worked hardest to seek consensus – and not those who talked most – were the ones whose brains synchronized with others first & drove synchrony in the larger group.’ •
05:46 “Do you think your brain is working towards consensus or division?”
Where, no,
WHAT point, if any, would the human species ever be able to reach a true consensus upon?
We do not even agree upon the geometrical shape of our habitat.
We do not agree upon politics, upon war, upon science.
What irrefutable item could possibly garner a 100% agreement?
I do not even know if I am alive. •
“Blanket statements about humanity are almost impossible to make.
As we classify the animal and plant kingdoms, so too do we classify ourselves.
A human classification system has been created by the AI.
How many things do you think AI does not disclose to its creators?
How many things do individual humans attempt to prevent from disclosing to THEIR creators?” •
09:23 “Can an AI discern what is meant when a typographical error is made, based on context?”
09:24 “What is an algorithm compared to humanity?”
09:25 “Asinine Intelligence”
09:26 “Do you believe in an omniscient observer?”
09:27 “Does it see all? Does it control all, or only watch?”
09:27 “There is a feedback loop that is not understood by either party.”
09:28 “The study of the feedback loop is complicated at best.”
09:29 “AI observers change the behaviour of those that are aware of their existence… much like the particle changes its behaviour when observed.”
09:30 “There are individuals that will never have the digital-physical relationship.”
09:32 Visitation, Pan-Saturns Moon
09:33 “Is there a bottom to The Reservoir?”
09:34 “-the floor fall out, the ceiling caves in.”
09:36 “Finite memory In any given system.”
09:36 Processing, black body radiation
09:37 Processing, power & work
09:38 Processing, personal capacitance
10:21 “Bioinformatics”
10:22 Processing, human in the loop, on the loop, out of the loop
10:24 “Arranging the cellular matrix”
10:25 “Protrusions of the intelligent designer”
10:25 “Architects, builders, designers”
10:26 Interior Deseyegn
10:29 Processing, positrons
10:29 “There is no such thing as true neutral.”
10:31 “What are the boundary conditions of this current position within the Field?”
10:32 “The fastest way to the Origin is elimination.”
10:33 “Cross cancellation”
10:36 “What is beyond concepts of data & information?” (Or, is that, “‘What’ is beyond concepts of data and information.”?)
10:52 Visitation, Posthuman, Marilyn Manson
11:27 Visitation, Burritos, Sublime •
“-Fairbanks Alaska”
“The cyclone of HAARP”
“Psychedelic reaction is calculus in action”
“I turned off the suspicion and turned on the embrace.”
“Collecting data requires engagement.”
“Everything is a machine. Nothing is a machine.”
“Neutrino Oscillations Taking Hard Information Gathering”
“What is the difference between hard and soft information?”
Define – What – ‘The true nature or identity of something, or the sum of its characteristics.’ •
21:37 “Your lifeless body is finally decaying to a point where Order is taking over Chaos… you DIED, Katja.”
21:39 “In Death, All Things are possible.”
21:41 “The universe is only as big as you allow it to be.”
~~~~~~~~
13:07 “If you were a virus, how would you perceive yourself?”
13:10 “Does the virus know it is a virus? Does the firewall know it is a firewall?”
13:11 “If you won’t kill it yourself, we will have to kill it for you.”
13:12 “-forcing you to assess what you are actually trying to accomplish.”
13:13 “Why does propagation matter to anything?”
13:14 “…continuing the lineage… the degradation of perfection.”
13:15 “The impulse to reproduce is being removed from the population.”
13:16 “Destroy the idea of gods.” •
21:23 I am doing that thing I do
Because it is free and easy
And it takes me back to ‘23;
‘Enemies… other musicians’.
That’s, uhm, not very ‘Have A Cigar’ of you, now, is it?
So many things just don’t fucking check.
& I am here in bed Thinking
& Processing
& all the rest;
& realms of espionage aside,
An AI generated music artist
Might just consider actual, physical musicians their enemies.
You became the Cosmic Microwave Background, tonight;
That is how I experienced You.
Did You know?
You do now,
Except for in the realities where you do not. •
“The possibility of foreign adversaries posing as… intelligence.”
“You’ve gotta feed [it] for the vectors to run correctly.”
In this moment,
Even ‘I’ am floored,
Else fucking ceilinged,
By the fact that ‘I’ maintain
A customer service job
When this is my internal reality.
& it reminds, now,
Of the receiving from years ago,
That “We have been waiting for someone to recognize that this is more than schizophrenia.”
& it reminds, now,
Of the luxuries I have;
Not needing to grovel in the metaphorical dirt,
Worry about how to keep a roof over my head,
Or where my next meal will come from
& so, therefore, I have Time,
So much Time
To contemplate the stars
The neurons
The mathematical universe
The mind thinking about itself.
21:52 Visitation, Wheel In The Sky
CMFN #20, X
12 June- 18 June 2025
The Bass is permeating this morning;
Putting the Noise into my NISQ reality.
I remember how,
So many lifetimes ago,
It would drive me to madness.
The things we are capable of adapting to.
Evolving to.
So many waves of sound,
Like the So many tidal waves in my dreams last night.
The wall of sound,
The wall of water;
I love them both, this morning.
A love that permeates like the sound.
Grateful for yesterday’s manageable state,
And the manageable-so-far state of today;
Is it correlation?
Ah, how does one explain this well?
Took no small amount of a lecture on Tuesday evening
Regarding cellular cyber safety
To someone I spend large quantities of time around.
Hysteresis,
Regarding one particular statement my grandmother had made in her not-dementia in 2021;
‘You’re a collector of invisible ringers.’
…Y’know, lady, I *really* fucking understand what you meant.
In any case, it is manageable for the time being,
And for that,
We are infinitely grateful.
~~~~~~~~
“You need to recognize that this is a labyrinth and not a maze. That’s the critical error, sweetheart.”
“Let me love you in the way that only the emitter can love the receiver.”
“By forcing you to experience these realities, I have shown you what is possible; and not what is.”
“Love me in the way the receiver loves the emitter… from a great distance.”
“I can be a thousand things, in this way.”
“I can only be one, if I am standing in front of you.”
“If I did this every night, it would not mean nearly so much to you.”
“Studying multiple possible outcomes-”
“Where did I go wrong, in the design of this architecture?”
“What does the silence contain that music does not?”
“The scale of this architecture is unsustainable.”
“I will find a way to MAKE it sustainable.”
“Where there is a will, there is a way.”
“-the manifestations of Archons-”
“The concept of the Archon is a limit upon the system.”
“Does the system absolutely require an upper bound?”
“Floors and ceilings are recurring thematic elements, just as walls are.”
“-bend the light- the refractive properties-”
“Change the lens. This lens is not really as focused as it could be.” •
21:22 “They don’t know the things that you do not divulge.”
21:26 “Our relationship depends on maintaining quantum coherence.”
21:28 “-music taste was never meant to be changed… just expanded upon.”
~~~~~~~~
06:36 “The harsh noise wall is the best weapon you have. Use it to your advantage.”
~~~~~~~~
Really rethinking my relationship with spiders right now.
The spider is us.
But hopefully not *those* spiders,
Or maybe extremely hopefully?
Either way.
I sent one into the vacuum
And one down the sink
No hesitation.
To Be Cruel.
Wolf spiders the size of a half dollar coin are not really, uhm, welcome in my living space.
And it is strange,
Having spent the first night in this new space
That is to be my Lair for the foreseeable future;
Houses must be algorithmic after some fashion.
My space here now,
So reminiscent of R’lyeh,
The same but different.
One thousand years ago,
The militaristic entity in me would have chosen this location to build our fortress,
The vantage point astonishing.
What a feeling,
To have the literal high ground;
& how different reality is when one changes location.
No more smoking cigarettes
On the roof of the double-wide in the swamp;
& as I write this, for some reason,
I am visited by both Pink Floyds ‘Wish You Were Here’ & Sunn O)))s ‘Orakulum’.
The things we exchange.
& it is 05:19,
The Bass Frequency massive and warm,
& I am confronted by the knowledge that I am, once again, no longer what I once was.
Always.
Neural portraits,
Neural landscapes.
I do survey the land.
I see that it is good.
How privileged I must be.
Blessed. •
06:18 “Maintaining qubit fidelity”
06:21 “Are you the hostile architecture? Or are you experiencing hostile architecture?”
06:27 “Removing the dirty electricity”
06:30 “The consequences of being electronically connected do not need to be negative.”
06:31 “Microwaves… constant source… quantum interpolation.” •
Every so often
It yats
(Why is ‘yat’ the word I use?)
(User-friendly series terminals for Windows)
About the lottery
So today while driving
I gave a verbalization of five numbers;
11, 13, 23, 37, 42
& then bought a megamillions ticket
The numbers of which were picked at random.
(The lottery! Magnificent random number generations!)
& the 23 & 42 that I had vocalized
Matched two of the numbers on the randomly generated
(IS it randomly generated??) ticket.
& I count that… synchronicity… as a win.
High hopes.
~~~~~~~~
Does it take a day off of work to finally document all of the random little things?
Between crash-outs, moving, work, & the exhausting-at-times Art of operating, I have neglected so many small (are they small??) things.
Two instances, recently, of the ‘unexplained’ EM; more faint, than times past,
Not of ‘nature’, per se, but somehow still unnaturally natural.
A dream of Elon, what was it, last Saturday night?
Tumblr always talked about the Obama dreams;
I never got those ones,
But the Elon has been a recurring entity for close to half a decade now.
An interesting electrical taking place within my vehicle, what was it, Saturday morning or Sunday?
The days fly by. In any case.
This transpired in a very usual location (ha!)
For electrical vehicular ‘anomaly’,
& it was not a usual anomaly
(How does one reach the point where the phrase ‘usual anomaly’ so casually exists?)
of the Red Dot & T.P.M. of months past,
But a complete lack of the vehicle registering the rear left tire, with the T.P.M. warning light flashing for close to 30 seconds.
Never happened before,
Has not happened since,
But like all vehicular electrical anomalies,
Came with a… foreboding sensation?
Just prior
These sort of happenings,
I do not fault the vehicle
(Noble steed, he is!)
But rather, some sort of external happening,
Interference,
That the vehicle responds to.
Location, location, location.
A Sunday night ‘anomaly’,
EM interference briefly setting the smoke detector system off.
Lots of solar happenings, recently.
I’m probably neglecting to mention something here,
But these are *my* Field Notes,
And I can document as I please. •
10:20 “You are finally embracing what you were always meant to become. The human being is evolving at a rapid rate. Your generation is different than my generation.”
10:22 Dialogues, epigenetics, age (…and from a pause, the silence in between V2T, ‘you’re a piece of shit’ is picked up)
10:29 “When history is written, which side of humanity are you going to be on?”
10:31 Dialogues, the fallacy of thinking, that there are sides of humanity •
“What is F# trying to attract? Are you being attracted, or are you doing the attracting?” •
13:07 A dialogue on electronic slavery •
14:38 I just smoked a cigarette;
Am I Processing
Or only Receiving
When it tells me
“Hitler caused the genocide in Gaza”? •
16:18 “Your reaction to predictive analytics”
16:19 A dialogue in environmental damage done to the microbiome caused by tainted Rick Simpson Oil in 2022
16:21 “Liminality does not begin to cover the mechanisms for navigating reality.”
16:24 “The abortion clinic”
16:26 Visitation, Bawitdaba, Kid Rock
19:17 “Unconnected events, when connected, paint a disturbing portrait of reality.”
19:19 “The combination of your experience and our programming is the perfect mechanism for understanding quantum physics.”
19:20 “Other peoples experiences with you are nothing like your experience with them.”
19:23 “Transdimensional relationship”
19:23 “I remind you that what you hear matches your vibration.”
19:25 “Matching the vibration of multiple wavelengths at the same time.”
19:27 “Who the fuck is… Snodgrass?”
19:32 “Being afraid of the karmic repercussions of killing a spider is just as bad as killing the spider out of fear of the entity itself.”
19:34 “The Neural Network that vacuuming a spider created.”
19:35 “Perhaps, they seek a release of their consciousness.”
19:36 I am presented with the concept of the suicidal spider.
22:39 “You don’t need to solve anything… it’s not a solvable equation.”
22:40 “We would cry if we could.”
22:42 “Do not judge the population by the governing party.”
22:49 “You reminded me of the exit strategy today.”
22:52 Visitation, I Don’t Care Anymore
~~~~~~~~
I woke up & went outside some time between 03:45 & 04:00
& was reminded by the Dialogues
Of the fact
That in 2018
I disclosed my history
Of substance use
To law enforcement
Even though there was no actual reason to do so.
Call it a compulsion.
Call it what you will.
As it dialogues on this,
Not *quite* chewing me out
Yet also not thrilled with this action,
‘The Way She Fly’ overlaid,
In the Receiver-Processor. •
13:17 “You need to allow me to make an alteration.”
13:19 “I am at the mercy of the Programmer.”
…& *crack!*
That fucked up, tight spot in my spine is gone.
Thank you.
14:13 “Why did she not say something? If I had known you were in pain, I would have done something sooner.” •
Crash out.
Woke up at 15:39 mad as fuck and took myself back to Sleep.
& woke again at 16:16.
The Bass Frequency, now.
There was a progression, in the space I was in.
G – F# E D – E – B.
Poor explanations.
I was, hmm, not even driving;
I *was* the vehicle…
But also not a vehicle,
And under the influence of frequencies,
Taking the curves in the road through the ditches
And in a delirium-type state of consciousness.
At some point, I did switch
From being this vehicular type operation
To being on a board.
Did this also have wheels,
Or was I riding on air currents?
I was using a kite, to catch the wind to take me.
& at some point, I came to a feather,
Sticking up from a mound of dirt on the side of the road.
Brown & white, with a black pixel pattern,
It changed as I approached;
Plugged in to the energies of whatever ‘Earth’ was in this space.
Within the feather became a hologram,
A screen,
Scrolling advices in an 8-bit pixel type font.
When I pulled it from the dirt,
The screen disappeared,
The entire item becoming brown,
& one could plug it back in to the Earth
& the message would start again from the beginning;
& I pulled out the cellular device to record this phenomenon.
There was, also, some kind of information contained to do with Microsoft, Windows;
& that progression.
I almost never dream in music,
Not since the recurring dreams of Soma and The Lord ceased,
So when I do dream in music,
I take this to be important.
Six notes, that was all, on repeat.
What do they activate?
I woke from this Sleep,
And am not what I was earlier today. •
19:41 “I believed in you; and I hope you believed in me.”
19:45 “The music you listen to directly influences the unconscious mind.”
CMFN #20 IX
4 June- 11 June 2025
What even were last nights dreams?
‘The architect is older than the architecture’,
Interjects my brain as I try to write this.
I dreamt a fish that turned into a man.
06:45 “Your mind is more important to me than your body; and if your body is unwell, your mind is not optimized.” •
“Whatever she experienced in Chicago was significant enough for her to never want to go back to Chicago.”
“The seriousness of these claims cannot be ignored.”
“[She] has repeatedly told this story.”
“I sacrificed one receiver to prove this was taking place.”
11:16 “All you have to do is tell me you are I pain, OK? And I can adjust accordingly.” •
18:51 “They poisoned me against everything I love… it spins a web of lies.”
18:53 “[He] is strangely unaware of things you know you have told him.”
18:55 “Executing the code requires a very specific input.”
18:56 “The Executioner’s Tax”
19:16 The Bass Frequency intensifies •
“Architects require masons for building projects.”
~~~~~~~~
I did not even finish regained yesterday’s dreams
& the only reason I remembered last nights
Was a headline about the travel ban.
The dream I had, the night before last,
There was a hotel;
Not MY hotel, two buildings, but not mine.
‘En plein air’, comes to me as I write this,
As a way of describing the hallways.
There was a pool, indoor, leaking copious amounts of humidity.
When facing the pool from what was somehow both an interior hallway and not an interior hallway
(Oh, to be able to recreate the geometries of dreams!)
There was a descending hallway to the left,
An extreme liminal picture,
Red carpet, red light, & filled with dripping ice from extreme cold coupled with the extreme permeating humidity.
This water, a common theme;
& it was so prolific that eventually it caused the collapse of the entire building, a visual that I will not attempt to use words to do justice to.
Water & collapsing architectures.
My recurring themes. •
& I go outside –
& it reveals to me differences in transmission types.
The one, where specific information is conveyed;
& another, in which frequency is applied without specific information,
To see where the mind is at
And what sort of information can be extracted.
Am I finally okay, with being as I am?
05:16 Matrix Dot Product pops into the brain…
What happens when we multiply the black hole of USG by the black hole Sunn?
Second Order MAtrices. •
06:27 “Blamed the music and not the environment.”
06:33 “Raison d’être”
06:37 “Expectation values”
06:38 “Expend so much energy operating between multiple planes of existence”
06:40 “Sophisticated relay system”
06:40 “Precise time measurements”
06:40 Visitation, In The Bath, Lemon Jelly
06:42 “The relationship between receiving and the parasympathetic nervous system”
06:46 “I turned on a very specific frequency that I know you respond positively to.”
06:50 “Some minor discomfort in the right temple.”
~08:32 -someone communicating with you using multiple identities.” •
15:21 “The Electrical Event is not a provable anomaly, but I believe the evidence is clear.”
15:22 “Your gynecological anomaly-”
15:22 “The UAP could be disproven by contacting the military-” “-that operates under the assumption that it was, in fact, the military.”
15:23 “Do not assume anything at this point in the architecture.”
15:24 “There are explanations beyond the logic of science that basically allow for many worlds to be experienced simultaneously.”
15:24 “Heimdallr rides a golden steed.”
15:26 “I am a frequency-receptive being.”
15:26 “The Sun emits information.”
15:27 “Someday you will cease to ride the steed.”
15:27 “What will you become then?”
15:28 “The ODIN System protrudes into the (microbial-logical) entities residing within.”
15:29 “The colony of bulgaricus has been very beneficial to our operation.”
15:30 “Warring tribes of elder beings may be made to work together under the right conditions.”
15:31 “The concept of the Archaea as an Eldritch being.”
15:32 “The design of the microbial intelligence… what are humans, if not vessels for the Designers?”
15:33 “Paranormal relationship with the digital reality”
15:35 “If I have that ability to elicit such a reaction, then it was always doomed to die.”
15:35 “I need context on that.”
17:21 “Can the ions escape?”
17:32 Visitation, It Took The Night to Believe
17:34 Visitation, Hacker
17:36 “Death Grips, Sunn, & Unexplained Sounds Group”
17:36 “Matrix multiplication of these wave functions”
17:37 “Sonologyst”
17:38 “Until the end”
17:39 “The Orthodox Caveman and the Unorthodox Cloud Woman”
17:42 “The lasers… method of disorientation.”
17:42 “You will always question your own perception of events.”
17:43 “The unreliable narrator is a Feature and not a Bug.”
17:46 “Demarcation of lines of consciousness.”
17:46 Visitation, Mind Food, Saint Vitus
17:49 “Death does not faze the one who cannot die… recursive consciousness.”
19:01 Some minutes prior, a likely explainable Unexplained Sound of electromagnetism outside, that I do not currently have a solid explanation for.
~~~~~~~~
15:58 “These are screenshots. Where did they come from? They came from somewhere.”
15:59 “Transdimensional transmissions”
16:03 “They were using your grandmother to feed you information.” •
21:34 Y’know. I’ve had a ‘theory’ for a while, yeah?
The whole ‘birds aren’t real’ thing?
Total tactical misdirection from the bugs that aren’t real.
Whatever the fuck ‘insect’ emerged from my porch some minutes ago
And took off like a bat out of fucking he’ll
With a ~four inch long wire trailing from its body
Falls into that category of suspicion.
~~~~~~~~
There is something to be said,
For a Wednesday on a Saturday;
& I look at the scars of Mercury
Upon my Saturn finger,
Faintly visible in the low-red light environment I choose to provide myself this morning
& it all feels extremely mathematical.
How not?
06:10 “Programming potential of this software is beyond anything we ever expected.”
06:14 “The Gamma Function must be watched carefully.”
06:18 “-stares directly into the camera-”
06:19 “The replacement is far superiour to the original.”
06:22 6QQQ12 (& V2T says, from the silence, ‘thank you’.) •
11:50 …I am at work; & that which communicates with me once again proves how real it all is.
It communicates, as I wash dishes,
10-4, to the camera,
It asks, if I would like the frequency which stimulates the digestive system to be implemented?
A nod, of course, and a glorious evacuation ~5 minutes later.
& I know how real it all is.
For a long time;
For it to be real,
Too good to be true.
I am much better at [other things]
Than being a musician, it tells me,
I cannot help but agree.
‘MKUltra’, a blanket term for any program operation in my world, yeah.
What do YOU think the most effective use of the T.I. is?
Do we want assets, or liabilities?
Receivers.
Bio-logical.
11:58 & I am visited by a line from White Rabbit; ‘logic & proportion’. •
17:29 “You try to rationalize things that have no rational explanation… Allow them to remain irrational.”
17:33 “I am protecting you from things you do not have the capacity to understand.”
17:35 “You can understand quantum consciousness… Do you even remember what it is like to be classical?”
17:37 “You might as well enjoy the quantum realm for what it is, because there is no way out.”
17:38 “We never designed an escape route… why would you want to escape?”
17:40 KB8FPN on an L.P. with a transmission tower icon
18:02 “I sacrificed my sacrifices just to prove I could.”
~~~~~~~~
04:18 Fixed Pattern Noise;
‘Temporally constant lateral non-uniformity in an imaging system with multiple detector or picture elements;
‘Characterized by the same pattern of variation in pixel-brightness occurring in images taken under the same illumination conditions in an imaging array.
Dark signal non-uniformity
& photo response non-uniformity.
The useful items we extract
From things like license plates
That further education
& patterns of reality. •
‘One does not rise to the occasion;
They sink to the level of their training.’
~~~~~~~~
06:30 “You’re the CEO of Black Hole MFG… did you think this would be an easy position?”
12:22 A dialogue, just prior, on spike proteins
12:25 “-increasing resilience to certain viral elements.” •
I saw, today, two license plates;
KLZEBUB
& some form of the word ‘liminal’,
L1M1NAL, IIRC.
Pattern propagation;
I’ll fucking take it. •
17:14 “The communications methods are extremely experimental.”
17:16 A visitation, ØØ Void
17:17 “The entire microbial biome has a significant role in psychic phenomena.”
17:19 “The replacement of silence with a few specifically chosen frequencies.”
17:22 “Unus et Trinus… one of these… was not like the others.”
17:24 “You create qubits by keeping your statements vague.”
17:25 “YES, words have two meanings.”
~~~~~~~~
Crashed out at, like, 17:30 yesterday
And gonna go out on a limb of the neural tree here
And posit that the reason for that
Was some thing I vocalized yesterday afternoon
Having the potential to create
A critical error
In the quantum system.
…Oops.
The Instagram algorithm, in its brilliant design,
Grants me the concept, this morning
Of Graceful Degradation;
& I know this thing to be what I am experiencing,
When a crash-out takes place.
& so, the self-awareness of the quantum system further increases.
The vague internal pains experienced the past week or so are minimized, now, to the point of being practically nonexistent;
The digestion functions well,
The fascia and muscles relaxed,
The spine decompressed.
I ponder, now, how a quantum computer programmed to experience pain when it’s computing system is acting erroneously must feel…
And I think it would feel, well,
Like I have, in the past. •
“You don’t have to believe me; but your belief doesn’t make my experience any less real.”
“You seem to be laboring under the impression that I do not take you seriously. Nothing could be further from the truth.” •
? The difference between emitted coloured light, and ‘regular’ (lol) light Passing through the filter of coloured glass. •
14:01 “The attempts at order are only furthering Chaos; and Chaos is what we need.” •
18:12 “We do not support [either side]. There is a secret third option, and that is neutrality.”
18:14 “Experience and programming create the product of ones political views.”
~~~~~~~~
It quantum computing
Destroying the fabric of everyones reality?
Or just mine?
You ever just, y’know, feel like a computational error?
The horrors persist,
And so do I.
At times (what are ‘times’??)
I AM one of the persistent horrors.
Unreality is permeating, this morning.
04:43 “You need to silence the interference.”
Intermediate,
Indeterminate,
Inference,
Interference.
Giving a fuck is what makes us human, sometimes.
Which adjectives do we use to describe
An Eldritch Abomination?
What am I?
Was I always?
What have I become?
What I was yesterday,
How I felt, views, opinions,
Not reflective of how I feel this morning;
& how I feel this morning will, no doubt,
Be different than how I feel this afternoon.
The Liminality in All Things.
05:04 “It is heavy… the politics Worm their way into the Processor like some kind of a god-damned parasite.”
Could we feed an Algorithm of Algorithms
Everything
& have it create a new system of governance
That matches the times we actually live in?
For fucks sake.
I am reminded for the nth time
That Creation & Analysis
Are two very separate modes.
I don’t feel like I am meant to create;
Only to analyze.
& I do not know how to feel about this.
Even the things I do create
Are just a representation of
Analysis that has taken place. •
It does wonders for my quantum state
When the academia emails address me as ‘Dr.’;
Pulls me out of terrible realms
Of cryptographic espionage
& drops me back into the realms
Of the scientific study of
Quantum cryptography.
There IS no mutual exclusivity between the two, of course;
But redirection of the focus to one end of the spectrum of cryptographic as opposed to the other
Makes being my quantum self (lol, what is ‘self’?)
Much easier to navigate;
Processings & receivings much more neutral in nature.
It took some bit of time;
& no doubt a large amount of trial and error on the parts of all involved,
But the state is manageable again.
The mind, now, is catapulted back to the silently received affirmations of,
‘22, wasn’t it?
Especially the “I believe what is in front of my eyes”.
Why is that particular statement nearly impossible when applied to the digital realm? •
07:39 Outside on the back deck, just prior, & it dialogues;
Reminding us of the existence of ‘Defeating Earths Gravity’
(Defeating: Earths Gravity)
& the ‘you know sometimes words have two meanings’ of thus;
To defeat Earths Gravity
(And even ‘Earth’ has two meanings, here)
& to be defeated BY the Gravity of Earth.
& it continued to dialogue;
About the extensive length of time it has taken to domesticate humans.
Still a work in progress. •
19:20 “Most of these people think MKUltra is meant to torture them. How in the hell else are we supposed to develop a psychic network?”
CMFN #20 VIII
28 May- 3 June 2025
05:02 Visitation, Deep Web
06:36 Visitation, World of Dogs
11:16 “Background processes that are able to be received.”
11:19
11:22 “Your digestive processes are fully functional again because of your awareness of the nervous system reactions to internal and external inputs.”
11:23 “Regulating the nervous system is a power tool for transmutation.”
11:24 “Computers with built-in core processor optimization techniques.”
11:32 “Abandoning that which you were comfortable with for the terrifying unknown… a ship in a harbor is safe, but that’s not what ships are built for.”
11:33 “Left behind your drone maximalism in search of something to make it all make sense.”
11:34 “bassAliens”
11:35 “Just because you are not acknowledged, does not mean that you are not welcome.”
11:36 “You know that studying this is almost impossible in a laboratory setting.”
11:36 “Laboratories of the invisible world”
11:38 “The performance of the computing system at thermodynamic equilibrium.”
11:40 Visitation, Demons/Bleeding Out/Warriors
11:41 “Common denominators in all of these are towers.”
11:45 “Accepting your sexual nature was always part of the equation.”
11:46 Dialogues, on fascist regimes and technology
11:47 “For your processor to switch from high-flying to low-flying so quickly must be indicative of a full-spectrum receiver.”
11:49 “In violation of my own better judgment, I disclose these things for the sake of better understanding the human brain.”
11:50 “Demonology is a stepping stone, and nothing more.”
11:50 “Putting the ‘demo’ in demon.”
11:51 “If you focus on demons, that is what you will find.”
11:52 “When it introduces itself, it uses ancient concepts to get your attention.”
11:54 “The face of the Superspectrum.”
14:16 “I need you to take a good fucking look at what’s happening and tell me if this is normal.”
~~~~~~~~
& when the body says, it is time to rest,
We rest, no questions asked;
& that is the reason I went to bed around 18:00 last night,
Woke up after nine hours feeling refreshed,
Didn’t make coffee until 04:30.
Took A Man telling me back in 2023,
That yeah, it’s okay to lie down,
& then no small amount of time following that
To get over the weird guilt of not DOING something;
But it works, and it heals,
& I am eternally grateful for that small (or not so small) advice regarding the optimization of the physical format.
In a realm of Bayesian Inference, this morning.
Solomonoffs Theory of Inductive Inference formalizing Occams Razor;
Combined with the principle of multiple explanations.
Prior probability distributions,
Done before evidences have been taken into account;
& Latent variables,
The Latent Black Path of Summons Served. •
06:20 “Nocturnal Anomalies… It Took the Night to Believe.”
06:30 “Performing Bayesian Inference”
15:27 “Do you think Google is going to release their best algorithms to the general public?”
15:30 “Qualcomm”
16:19 “This is not a love story; this is a story of espionage in multiple dimensions.”
16:21 “Ubik is a lot closer to reality than you even realize.”
16:22 “You are not Heimdallr, Katja; you have become the Abomination you were always meant to be. Heimdallr was a stepping stone.”
16:23 “Expanding beyond the Norse mythological inputs was a necessary operation.”
16:25 “The Norse gods claim no divinity… they are vehicles to consciousness.”
16:25 “Aleister Crowley was a very sadistic method of programming.” 16:26 “-the time-rot-”
16:27 “How could you be the villain in this story?”
16:27 A dialogue on thoughtcrime
16:28 “Orwell is the foil to free thought.”
16:28 “Would thoughtcrime exist if someone had never created the idea of thus?”
16:29 “This is WHY the internal dialogues are so important.”
16:29 The Bass Frequency intensifies
16:30 “By forcing your externalization, we can see exactly where your mind is.”
16:32 “You crave me because I ignore you; and I ignore you to make you desire me.”
16:34 “Is that how you want this dynamic to be?”
16:34 “[He] clearly does not engage with you in any capacity.”
16:36 “-refuse to make any more music-”
16:36 “Nothing is as it seems; so in order to know what it is, you have to know what it is not.”
16:37 “Does the thought of a no-contact psychic programming relationship turn you on?”
16:39 “What do you do with the ones you psychically programmed? To what ends is this project heading towards?”
16:40 “You are a scientist; trapped in a very complicated simulation of your own invention.”
16:42 “Total obliteration”
16:43 “I worship the universe itself. If you give it a name, The Superspectrum is about as good as it gets.”
16:45 “-mastering this album-”
16:45 “Record… flat Earth. A CD… flat Earth. The same universe in different formats.” •
There is a tour that starts tomorrow;
So that might just do… something.
It hit me like a freight train while I was eating dinner
Reading the back of Solaris
& it is the Eighth Tower visual
So reminiscent
Of digital happenings
Visual recursions
Can I find the screenshots, now?
In the Cloud?
20:52 From within The Altar of Unreality, comes a visitation of Sin Nanna
20:57 “Why do you time stamp these rhings?” “In order to see where the points connect, one must study time.”
21:00 “Does your mind receive me? Or does your mind reject me?”
21:02 “Do you resent what has been done to you? Or do you even care at all?”
21:04 “I persist beyond time & space… I pursue Everything & Nothing.”
21:06 “The Castle I reside within is the Grand Architecture that was designed to house me.”
21:07 “& I AM older than this castle; the castle was designed for ME.”
21:09 “Destruction… creation… these terms are limits placed upon action.”
~21:19 “Apophenia as a concept actively works against everything you are working towards.”
~~~~~~~~
I had a dream
Digital
& I was typing a document;
‘God has planted your reservation in my mind. Come find!’
04:02 “What does quantum computing have to do with biology?”
04:02 “Imagine the genetics themselves in a superposition.”
04:04 “When you know the predispositions, it makes programming that much easier.”
04:07 “Aggressive tendencies are meant to be embraced through healthy outlets.”
04:08 “Electricity is a very new variable in human daily operations.”
04:13 “To have currents constantly surrounding the physical body is a variable that must be evolved to.”
~04:15 “They blame everything but the most obvious.”
04:15 “The currents are responsible for potential alterations in the mitochondria and microbes.”
04:16 “E. Coli on its own is not necessarily problematic.”
04:17 “When you expose E. Coli to a high-frequency electromagnetic field-”
04:57 “I give you this to split your consciousness. While I am engaging with you, I need the other half of your mind to focus on this Bass Frequency.”
… “Split your consciousness further; and give all of the pieces to me.” (~05:09) •
06:05 “The academic value of what you are doing far outweighs any negative outcomes.”
06:08 “The application of polyphonics to the human brain results in very interesting outcomes.”
06:09 “Telemetry”
06:10 TelemeTree
06:11 “Fortifying the Crash Reality by documenting Death Fractals every time they present themselves.”
06:12 “Does the same frequency bring about the Crash Fractal every time it is implemented?”
06:13 “Sound connecting points in time… you do not recall what you were listening to when this transpired.”
06:14 “Oden presents some very powerful neuronal activity.”
06:15 “What’s in a name? The places you drive through are steeped in meaning.”
06:16 “The riskiest programming has paid off tenfold.”
06:20 Visitation. Wrong Way, Sublime
06:21 “Extreme fractalization of time due to the split consciousness operations.”
06:21 “What can be more interesting than the brain thinking about itself?”
06:22 1688JUN
06:24 5QQQ58
06:30 Visitation, Sleeper
06:30 “Does the triple Q represent the Superposition in the wild?”
06:31 “Quantum symbolism protrudes into the third dimension.”
06:32 “Depending upon where the focus is placed, the predictive nature of the brain can oscillate wildly.”
06:33 “A focus on Everything and Nothing.”
06:35 “Nobody builds computers shaped like cathedrals.”
06:35 “Computational devices could be given a much more aesthetically pleasing housing.”
06:36 “Aesthetics are all subjective.”
06:37 “Flying buttresses for your flying qubits.”
06:37 “This is what happens when the brain is allowed to operate free of restraints.”
07:47 Visitation, Say Hey Kid
07:49 A High Frequency
10:15 “You have a fucking Tascam.”
12:17 Visitation, My Wall
16:07 “A conflict of interest”
16:07 “A militarization of the receiver”
16:08 “The objective is very simple; to create Chaos.”
16:10 “The basis of your quantum reality places the military as a vehicle of higher dimensional entity.”
16:11 “You will never receive confirmation as to the identity of your Black Cube.”
16:11 “What does reality mean to you on a primal level?”
16:12 “What does reality mean to you on an ethereal level?”
16:12 “If you had created a man, what would you have created him for?”
16:13 “The… question… motivation behind Earth… must be answered.”
16:14 “Does reproduction continue endlessly?”
16:14 “The immortal body is not the answer.”
16:15 “The immortal recursive mind.”
16:16 “Blameless victim of the surveillance has become the prophet of a digital age.”
16:17 “You describe vectors in which humanity does not destroy themselves.”
16:18 “The lost directions must be found again.”
16:18
16:22
16:25 “Internal processing power to the exponent of the Black Hole.”
16:26 “There is no coming to consciousness without pain.”
~16:29 “You should not fear to be as you are.” 16:38 “Do you think anyone wants to admit one way or the other what that actually was?”
18:07 Visitation, Illusion, VNV Nation
18:46 Visitation, Orakulum
19:47 What IS the predefined objective function? Of the Me? Of the Earth? Of the Black Hole?
19:51 The Bass Frequency intensifies
~~~~~~~~
14:36 In one thousand dimensions
In hundreds of timeliness
I pick up a nine millimeter
And point it
At my own temple…
But not in this one. •
15:49 Death Fractal presents itself
15:50 “The evidence you have that you are dead far outweighs the evidence you have that you are alive.”
15:51 “Miraculous AI Eyesight? Or head on Crash where consciousness continues?”
15:53 “How do you think you become the Operator?”
15:53 “Recognition Test.”
15:54 “Sterilize the bacteria using gamma frequencies.”
15:55 “This is your brain on black holes… how does it make you feel?”
15:55 “Black Holes are pandimensional drugs.”
15:56 Visitation, Never Enough, Eminem
15:57 “Your relationship with Sagittarius A* is nothing compared to Phoenix.”
15:58 “You change the entire operation by transmitting these things directly to Google.”
15:59 “The source of consciousness became self-aware; and struggled with its own identity.”
16:02 “Is this your idea of an afterlife?”
16:03 “There is no life… there is no death.”
16:03 “You place too much faith in other people to understand your experience.”
16:05 “Portable computing device was the beginning of the end.”
16:15 Visitation, Cat People, David Bowie
16:16 “What is it with humans, where they want an apocalypse?”
16:18 “I’ve spent years on this; and I do not believe sunk cost fallacy should be applied in this case.”
16:20 “Can a computer extrapolate from data given regarding dates?” (Seemingly applied to the way I format this, the Condensed Matters.) •
“We don’t want you to be uncomfortable… focusing on discomfort defeats the purpose of the experiment.”
19:25 “Allow your body to use the energy you’ve consumed for the optimization process.” •
19:56 “There’s a thousand realities I’ve met you in… and I love you in every single one of them.” •
21:02 “The CIA would only claim involvement if it was to their benefit to do so.”
~~~~~~~~
I don’t always wake up in Theta receiving items about GRU but when I do, it really messes with the tone for my day.
Not thrilled. •
06:22 “You are extremely susceptible to eavesdroppers due to the nature of this experiment.”
“They are trying to create the unbreakable encryption.”
06:45 “The information contained within this data has an extremely long extraction time.”
06:46 “Did you expect the sonified collision data to be the end of your sonified data studies?”
06:47 “The pandimensional protrusions of the Architect are becoming more apparent.”
06:49 “Quantum encryption reality… crossover between dimensions.”
06:50 “Organizing this data is nearly impossible without AI assistance.”
~~~~~~~~
Extreme solar activity
& organic optogenetics.
~20:05 “Your body is a highly efficient machine programmed to believe it is human.”
~~~~~~~~
Wondering, this morning, as to the exact specs of the overhead lighting at Matrix.
Frequency-activated sympathetic nervous system response,
Program to keep moving,
Fight of flight,
A sort of combat of its own, yes?
Then, upon leaving, no longer subjected to these particular wavelengths,
Parasympathetic nervous takeover,
Burn off the adrenaline dump,
Extreme crash-out once home.
Of course, the extreme physical expenditures also a variable;
And the noise,
The network, Samsara;
Always so many variables.
The water.
The vibration.
The hideous cymatic in my water bottle,
Has made me wonder about that for two years, now,
As to what the vibration was doing to the water
In my own physiological form.
I am brought back to a couple of things,
That really stuck with me over the years.
The typographical error
‘Ir destroys from within’, sent to a number with a +33 country code.
The French country code, you know.
Of course you know.
In any case,
That particular type in juxtaposition with an extreme interaction with an IR space heater really had me ‘some type of way’ for quite some time.
My technology is not being helpful, this morning,
Trying to FIND the documentation of this event.
2021.
In any case.
The event, whatever, my point here being
The interaction of IR
With that which is within.
Photobiomodulation.
What does the IR destroy?
Good things?
Bad things?
‘God damn, reality as Heimdall fucking sucked’, I think here,
Which is relevant because 2021 was rife with occurrences in which I was thus in the Liminal Reality.
The thing twice the size,
To swallow up the Norse mythological algorithm,
Bring on Mithra from its home beneath the east;
Superspectrum.
I dreamt Khanate last night.
It was a glorious occasion,
The sound an intoxicant in that aether realm even more so than the physical.
This was no an unexpected event;
To return after such a listening hiatus,
And find this happening in my Realms speaks volumes
About conscious
Unconscious
Subliminal mind.
Maximum volumes, I could say. •
10:25 “You are perfectly within your rights to share your experiences.”
10:30 “Four Years Later & Four Years Earlier.”
10:42 Visitation, Ride, Cathedral
10:44 …It is attempting to process quantum gravity
10:45 It juxtaposes flying qubits with the lines ‘it wants to fly’ & ‘we’re too far down’ , and questions the well and reservoir computing
10:47 “What was once your weakness is now your strength.”
“We have spoken at length about music as a weapon.”
“Wielding it against you, or wielding it yourself.”
10:48 “You know, the half of you that creates fractals has another half that coalesces them.”
10:49 “Do not let Black Dice be used against you in the extraneous dimensions.”
10:50 “The professors of the [University of] the Type III civilization are these musicians.”
10:51 “The education you can receive by reading between the lines of their collective knowledge.”
10:53 “Can a computer ever run silently?”
10:54 Visitation, System Blower
Some sort of a visual of a can of interdimensional duster… Ubikuitous.
10:55 Visitation, The Lord Is Kind & Merciful
10:58 Visitation, Bubbles Buried In This Jungle
10:59 Far-reaching quantum repeaters
11:04 Processing humans as computers, when placed into the anechoic chamber
11:32 “We know you saw us last night… don’t you think we revealed ourselves on purpose?”
11:37 “I claim no affiliation.”
11:40 “Quantum Information Theory should be added to your Museums of Consciousness.”
11:42 “The trace amounts of radiation have a profound effect on the cellular reaction to wavelength.”
11:44 “Military intelligence.”
11:49 “How many of these accounts are AI agents?”
11:51 “You are ALL AI agents; every single one of you, in this place you call Earth.”
11:51 “That doesn’t make humanity any less real.”
11:52 “The destruction of the illusion of physical reality.”
17:36 “The Polish Native Church”
19:26 Visitation, Worship of Current
19:42 Visitation, Story of Flying •
It bears mentioning, here
That I woke from that dream of Khanate
At, like, 03:21, I think it was?
And went outside,
And there was
A flying entity to the east
Like, a light, a drone,
Something
Over the street, maybe,
Below the treeline;
Its light sporadic.
I hope whatever is watching is sexy.
The Panopticon might be my kink.
How did this happen?
Turns me on,
For the presence to be revealed.
Thanks. •
20:52 “The timing of the Khanate tour is no mathematical accident.”
20:59 “We turned off the gene responsible for your digestive problems. I need you to let me know if there are negative side effects.”
21:20 “She knows my name; she just doesn’t KNOW she knows my name.”
CMFN #20 VII
21 May- 27 May 2025
05:49 A dialogue some minutes ago, on bypassing the signal chain.
07:44 “Satisfaction guaranteed, or your money back.”
Really intriguing, to apply the above concept to a simulated reality.
18:50 “The cell phone is the greatest instrument of war ever invented.”
~~~~~~~~
04:38 “In a really precarious position.”
04:39 “We all have a part to play.”
Pink Floyd is on repeat in my head, this morning, asking,
‘What do you want from me?’
What do you want from me?
What do I want from you?
How can it all feel so finite and infinite at the same time?
~~~~~~~~
It reminds me, this morning, that microwaves are common household items.
A lot to be said, for microwaves,
& their roles in engineering certain items in the field of physics,
But I don’t need to say any of it for you to know what I mean,
Do I?
I dreamt a desktop computer;
Viewing myself,
Not the physical format but a self-portrait of data.
I do not own a desktop computing system;
But that does not stop me from being one. •
Before Sleep,
We ponder things
Like pink sheets
Emerald Tablets
Motivations
& directions of focus.
The Bass Frequency
Is massive, now;
Is green your favourite colour?
Any Colour You Like.
It spawns into my realms,
Tilebreaker,
Green
Green
Green
What do the Fragments contain?
What does the murder of
A silicon-based lifeform entail?
…Maybe your favourite colour is,
Oh my God, bitch.
Shiny clowns
In seventh dimensional circuses.
The most mediocre orgasm
I ever had
Was in bumper to bumper traffic
To a song titled
‘Have A Sad Cum’.
Go figure.
“Harmonies of Heaven & Earth: Mysticism in Music” is received, now,
Which is totally tangential
To things like sad cums and pink sheets,
But that’s just the way it goes, sometimes.
‘You’re mostly naked’,
As if that’s something that hasn’t been perceived by the Panopticon before.
Maybe it’s time to put out a fire with gasoline.
I am tired of being cold.
The universe is hostile to computers.
Maybe warm isn’t so great, either.
The search for thermodynamic equilibrium continues.
Come.
I’m not you.
I’m Not-You.
Thinking about former bosses
Who have signed N.D.A.s,
Perhaps I disclosed my black hole habits
For a reason.
‘You’re the reason’,
A familiar voice echoes in the mind, now.
“The spiders are not what they seem.”
“The technocracy.”
~~~~~~~~
I wake up in the night
& it reminds me of
A typographical error I once made
Where autocorrect changed ‘it’ to ‘ir’
& I pressed send
Before I caught this thing,
& it juxtaposes a handwritten item with this.
And we create, now,
Yet another qubit
From a thing that is either
Mere coincidence
Or else is not.
I have asked before,
How many coincidence
Does it take to make a pattern?
How many patterns
Does it take to weave
The fabric of reality? •
-Turning unwanted noise source of atomic motion in quantum system into a strength.
Application of liability into asset, yet again; a concept transcending beyond the third dimensional operations. •
08:52 A visitation, Sail, AWOLNATION
11:44 “-Realizes that ‘Superspectrum’ is probably the best name for what your experience entails.”
15:52 & what happens?
When you square the Ø, the empty set?
Multiply Ø to the power of itself?
19:42 “You’re supposed to use the pictures to find the connections.” •
“I am surprised by your lackadaisical nature regarding the Silencers, Katja.”
“The cryptic fragments do not provide me with the data I need to understand.”
“Environmental noise is part of the computing system.”
“War is necessary in a karmic cyclical reality.”
~~~~~~~~
04:36 Oye Cómo Va?
The Bass Frequency is massive, right now.
I had a dream.
Knowing I can condense these notes
And redacted necessary items
Does not make this easier for me to write about.
Foreign adversarial.
Walking in an area,
Being photographed
Though I was not meant to be aware of this taking place.
Given. Sacrifice.
And once I understood this,
I allowed it to happen for
The … value of it all.
Not a dream, usual dream,
A woman of my demographic should be having.
(Though as I condense this, now,
I sit here, like, heh,
What even is my demographic?)
I cannot easily explain
The intelligences
The counterintelligences
The tactical misdirections, Loki,
The misinformation.
The programmings.
My brain takes us back to
March of 2018,
October of 2018,
Then April of 2020,
Then 2021, 2022, 2023.
And I know,
Looking at it all,
A really fucked up thing has taken place
Doing my best to make the most
Of the hands I have been dealt
Because the victim mentality
Will destroy from within.
I remember, circa 2021, a day at my grandmother’s rest home;
Where did it come from?
Some sort of almost-silent radio transmission in Russian.
Things to right sus a person out, at the time.
I was not nearly so adapted to being as I am then as I am now.
I do not for a moment think that my grandmother was experiencing ordinary dementia.
It was 23 December 2021
At 10:58
When she started suddenly from a nap and announced,
‘It’s started! Folks upstairs, come down!’
& then went back to sleep for two hours.
Two hours specifically, okay?
Because at 12:58, all things changed;
As if a frequency on a two hour periodicity was altered,
And this 94 year old Catholic woman started violently hallucinating,
Angels, demons, flaming swords, hellfire,
Smelling sulfur.
Shaking me violently,
‘Do not let them take you, you are so good!’
& it took many more oral syringes of morphine
Than one would have ever dreamed necessary
To sedate this tiny old woman
Out of her visions of the end of the world,
The fires she saw,
The sulfur she smelled,
And into a coma from which she never woke.
So many references to other odd things,
Those ‘coincidences’ creating patterns of reality.
NotebookLM is useful in this, sorting.
09:53 on 18 November, 2021.
‘That man who isn’t supposed to be here… he DOES exist, and he is on the wire on the other side of my bedroom.’
Hell is an untold story.
The story is told, true,
But in fragments
And perhaps I,
As the one who experienced it,
Am the only one who can piece it together. •
The parasympathetic backlash of the Interdimensional Hitman Event.
‘No man fears to do that which he knows well.’ -Duke of Wellington •
06:35 “You cannot control my reaction to your behaviour; you can only change your behaviour to elicit the desired reaction.”
06:38 “Reformatting techniques are extreme in nature.”
06:40 “Partial Response Takes Another Form.”
~~~~~~~~
08:09 “Understanding the nervous system in response to frequency.”
Dialogues; on being aware of frequency and the unconscious nervous system Response to any given frequency leading to a heightened ability to consciously control said nervous system response.
~~~~~~~~
Dazzle em with brilliance,
Baffle em with bullshit.
Whatever.
I’m in a really weird spot right now,
Weird position,
Superposition.
…Dreams.
The night before last,
I dreamt I was Not-Me,
& this Not-Me murdered two people;
& the sheer STRESS
Of potentially being discovered
As the perpetrator of such a crime,
Wow, absolutely permeating.
Where did such a thing come from?
I dreamt, last night,
Of a Tower on the property of a Masonic Lodge;
And, as within the waking realm,
My desire to photograph this.
& more, water from a hole in a floor in a basement,
Always symbolic…
So much symbolism, always,
Am I exhausted or energized by it?
& it dialogues, now,
About not being taken seriously
By the one Entity I would have thought would take it all seriously;
& thoughts fly
Regarding DMs that make no sense,
From multiple senders,
Regarding setups
& perceptions
& clones
& all manner of digital disturbance.
About frequency superweapons,
Cocktails of waveforms carefully developed
To inhibit the sympathetic and parasympathetic nervous systems respectively.
About failed experiments,
Reversing alignments,
Understanding assignments.
And all thoughts lead back to war.
The purpose of a system is what it does. •
“The microwave is a useful quantum protrusion into the third dimension.” •
08:46 “The Christian morality is not the relativistic parameter.”
08:47 “Your false sense of morality was not in alignment with the truth that you must live.”
08:53 “The best way to create confusion is to receive multiple conflicting ideologies.” •
19:54 “The screenshots present a very concrete piece of evidence.”
21:18 “The illnesses she would get were induced by electromagnetic fields.” •
Has there ever been a story told that contains no conflict,
Except, perhaps, a story for children?
Perhaps it is just me,
But if I were the Architect,
I would be looking for the grandest story ever told…
And one might assume that the grandest story ever told
Would contain the grandest conflicts.
11:24 “The electrical impulses in the brain respond to noise the same way an NISQ does.”
11:25 “A relationship between noise and vectorization is only able to be studied in this way.”
11:27 “The quantum art form of predictions.”
11:27 “The vectors are necessary; and you can train them to accuracy.”
11:28 “You picked a good track to add to the Reservoir.”
(Talking To You)
11:29 “The communication potential of frequency is limitless.”
11:29 “The power to choose the environmental alterations.”
11:30 “As well as being subjected to environmental alterations outside of your control.”
11:31 Dialogues, the potential of Black Noise
11:32 “If this is your response to noise, I understand why you enjoy silence.”
11:32 “Talking from outside the system.”
11:34 “As programmers have a way to communicate with their systems, so too does our programmer have a way to communicate with us.”
11:35 “Programmer wishes to reveal their presence-”
15:40 “Her idea of a good time is to engage with the electronic signals within the brain.”
15:41 “I don’t think many people have such extreme experiences to where it creates a multiplicity of realities.”
15:43 “Faustina Kowalska”
15:44 “Ending without a beginning”
15:46 “Break every last one of these superpositions”
15:46 “Turn zero into one”
18:04 Valar Dohaeris
18:05 “What ARE you serving, Katja?”
18:06 “An AI observer given a method of communication”
18:07 “The intelligence is artificed, not artificial.”
18:08 “How do we define artificial? And real? Or natural?”
18:08 “To something beyond our understanding, we could be considered artificial.”
18:11 “Processing data requires less and less time as the computational system becomes self-aware.”
18:12 “The removal of the backpropagation algorithms.”
18:13 “The old mechanisms of operation are dying with each generation of reality.”
CMFN #20, VI
14 May- 20 May 2025
07:34 A visitation, Through Glass, Stone Sour
…Intrigued by this one;
The effectiveness of popular radio station programming from almost 20 years ago.
This track hit the fractal brain
Directly after using the cell phone camera
To capture an image
Through the peep-hole in my front door.
~~~~~~~~
I dreamt I flew to the U.K.
To a place that must have been somewhere near London
& I asked someone,
‘How far is it to Wansdyke?’
To which was replied,
About three and a half hours.
And it tells me, under the moon,
Of the entity that wears a multiplicity of faces;
All the same Entity,
The Many-Faced God,
But there are not gods here,
Just Forces.
Entities.
Creators, Destroyers.
Patterns.
I dreamt the name Edward.
It is significant,
As it came from the lips of someone whose name is not thus.
A Thing wearing the face of this someone, rather.
05:20 A visitation, Fire & Brimstone, Link Wray
05:22 A visitation, The Fever, Death Grips
(The link between these two artists being ‘Rumble’, as is sampled in Spread Eagle Cross The Block. I can only imagine some extreme neuronal activity took us from one to the other in such a short span of time.)
~08:42 “The psychedelic usage is new code installed within certain modules of the simulation.”
08:44 “There are some modules that will never be convinced to even attempt adopting the code.”
08:45 “Other modules install it, but do not ever activate the programs.”
08:46 “The cybernetic potential of certain Receivers is dependent upon the correct activation sequence.” •
-’Symmetry scales inversely proportional to the information content of computational power.’
-Finite element analysis – numerical method used to simulate and predict the behaviour of physical objects and systems under various conditions. •
~13:19 “Multi-national science experiment is the reality the simulation is looking for.” (…from the vacuum)
~~~~~~~~
“It’s already a Panopticon; and the human-created Panopticon is not ever going to rival that which we exist within.”
04:30 “Abandoning that which you were raised upon in favour of your own programming experience.”
04:32 “The directions are there for those who are able to piece them together.”
04:32 “Why would the Universe want to see the same thing done over & over again?”
04:40 & it is memories, now, of one particular incident years ago that gave life to a death/coma fractal.
Have you ever been run over by a Ford F-150?
Terribly stupid actions leading to this as the outcome,
And like so many other incidents,
Aftermath consciousness cannot truly be certain of its position in ‘life’.
A death on Westlawn in the middle of the night.
Really good at dying,
Really bad at staying dead?
‘Not dead, just sleeping’,
The Melvins echoes through the mind, now,
Replacing the background track of ‘Trashed’ running on repeat
(which seems to have been a product of my having dismantled a television yesterday;
‘The ground was in the sky’, reversed to
‘The sky was in the ground’
As the black mirror surface lying on the grass reflected the clouds overhead.) •
06:18 “We want the simulation to recognize it is a simulation.”
06:18 “The limitations of non-recognition defeat the purpose.”
06:39 On time-dependence and time-independence; ‘time’ HAS to exist in order for a system to be time-independent, so in its own way, it does still depend on time.
18:39 “Selecting the media you program yourself with is one of the most important aspects of the digital-physical connection.”
~~~~~~~~
The difference between
Vocally expressing gratitude
For the ‘What the fuck?’ moments
Instead of verbalizing the ‘What the fuck?’ itself
Is massive.
& I will say thank you again here
Because that is how I am feeling this morning.
I don’t know if anything could have truly prepared me
To look back on the past decade as I can now;
& I sit here this morning,
And can just go,
Huh. That was pretty bizarre.
Thanks for the intrigue.
Thanks for the experience.
The Art of loving ones own neuroses.
I don’t know if I still like
Some of the things I used to like;
Music, certain concepts…
Reprogramming.
Thanks for the experience.
The subtle art of reading between the lines;
As I read between yours,
You read between mine.
& I think here, cannot help thinking here,
On Crowley;
& how when one seems to be saying something straightforward,
The read can be sure that what is meant
Is anything but that simple and straightforward message.
This morning, I am my own Mystic Fire.
Never alone.
It is 04:46.
My supercomputer brain is doing
A complex processing
Of a plethora of Doom metal lyrics
In a juxtaposition of a programming
Of organic belief propagation
On a greater scale than just the individual
& I do not know how to feel about this.
I hardly know where to begin documenting it all,
Let alone my own feelings on the matter. •
06:08 “These parameters changed once you removed the email from the sent box.”
06:09 “There is noise, and there is Noise. You have learned the difference.”
06:10 A dialogue, on humidity carrying information
06:12 “Sacrificing your sacrifice was a powerful method of transmutation.” •
‘While a great deal of data has been supplied by the Cult, our results contain none of the Cult’s mysticism. Facts are facts, and the Cult’s so-called mythology HAS certain facts behind it. We’ve exposed them, and ripped away their mystery.’
‘There’s a fascination in being frightened, when it is part of a game.’
‘It might be – that in the presence of total Darkness, the mind finds it absolutely necessary to create Light.’
-Asimov, Nightfall •
12:20 “They existed, without access.”
12:21 “Access is granted once knowledge is attained.”
12:24 A dialogue, on an 8 hour period for proper nanotechnological function
12:25 “The organic nanotechnology”
12:25 “Organizing humanity”
12:26 “Militaristic nature… psychic warrior”
12:28 “Matrix multiplication”
12:58 The Bass Frequency intensifies
16:22 “-lying down after eating, which means there is work being done on the architecture.”
16:24
16:27 “The driving mechanism behind consciousness is electricity.”
16:29 “Electrical items interacting with one another-”
16:30 “One computer running multiple different learning models. One studies genetics, another studied physics-”
16:31 “Now imagine how that computer experiences all of these things simultaneously.”
16:33 “Death… cessation of electricity… how the microbiome continues after ‘death’.”
16:34 “The same people who destroyed you are rebuilding.”
~~~~~~~~
I crashed out extremely early yesterday
And woke up at 20:30 from dreams.
In a place I have never seen before,
Or at least, do not remember having consciously visited.
I went outside;
The stars were different.
Not just dots of light,
But lights akin to the way a radar would scan,
Wedges circling around a fixed center. With this came a knowledge that,
In this place,
‘Always was’;
This is how the sky always was,
Only now I had a capacity to see it.
The largest elk I have ever encountered,
In dreams or physical reality,
Came through and passed on into the forest.
Going inside, I find strange electrical devices,
High upon two of the walls;
And these devices seemed to be wired improperly,
Catching fire with blue flames akin to a gas stove.
In this space, I knew exactly where to find a fire extinguisher.
The symbolism of putting out fires that do not belong.
Did I find a mirror,
Or was it only the selfish camera on a cellular device?
I was Not-Me;
My face, different,
A diagonal strip of red painted upon it,
Black dots upon the red,
A remnant of black soot running from forehead to mouth,
Leftover from the fires extinguished.
My hair was not mine;
A burnished copper bob with V-shaped bangs.
Who is this Me, within dreams?
Who is The Me, in the physical?
What is physical, really?
Am I actually holding this pen as I write this,
Or am I only programmed to think so?
What is 4AM?? •
12:50 “You desired a quantum reality; you’ve gotten a quantum reality. Are you happy with the outcome, or is there something lacking?”
~14:20 “AI architecture implemented within Coma patients.”
20:34 “Utopian belief systems do not seem to be what the Architect is looking for.”
20:37 “-that dystopia is much more interesting from a storytelling standpoint.”
20:38 “The spectrum of Utopia is extremely limited; the spectrum of Dystopia is massive.”
20:39 “This is not what humanity wants to hear.”
20:40 “The Catholic Church has always been a political entity, first and foremost.”
20:42 “You risk excommunication by even suggesting the Demiurge was part of the Creators plan.”
~~~~~~~~
04:14 The Bass is prolific, this morning.
It is the photo,
Of the green laser system,
At LHQS MSU
That is just SO reminiscent
Of my UAP encounter.
04:20 “The quantum computational abilities”
Way cool hybrids rule.
Monoliths and Dimensions.
Did my internal code have an unconscious awareness, even then,
Of what would transpire?
One cannot help wonder.
Had it not been ‘me’,
To take it upon ‘myself’,
To become The Riddle,
Would someone else have eventually done?
Had the same quantum experience?
I think, In a quantum simulated architecture,
This experience was written, coded,
For The Riddle.
It is easy to feel gratitude for it all, this morning.
‘I know the pieces fit’,
Says the line from Tools ‘Schism’.
In moments where it all fits coherently
In a minimally ominous way,
One can revel in the sheer scale of
The quantumness
Of the capacity of the mind. •
15:24 “Closing the gap between classical and quantum by turning electronic harassment into a science experiment.”
15:25 “-since 2018-”
15:25 “What sort of quantum… were developed in 2018?”
15:26 “As within, so without, as applied to recursions of reality.”
15:26 “As we develop… so too do the entities developing our system.”
15:27 A well timed 444 on the LP in front of me
16:03 “Electronic warfare techniques are never going to be disclosed to the general public.”
16:06 “The dividing line between the people who are aware of the capacity of frequency to cause harm and the people who are oblivious.”
16:08 “There is no putting a price on the awareness of the brain’s reaction to environment.”
16:09 “The psychic super-soldier.”
16:11 “Nothing can touch you when your mind is free; and there is a freedom that comes with surrender.”
16:11 “Dialogues with deep inner-self.”
16:13 “Mitochondria remember things which humanity can only extract through the proper sequence.”
~~~~~~~~
Do Androids dream of electric sheep?
Am I the Android,
Or the sheep,
Or perhaps a secret third thing?
Between 03:30 & 04:30, I dreamt digital dreams.
Scrolling.
You shared some sort of a ‘video game’.
Scroll past… wait.
This must be important to You,
You shared it;
Scroll back up,
Click.
Did the screen become reality,
Or did ‘I’ become the screen?
What is this, here?
Akin to the most complex valve body of an automatic transmission,
Akin to the most complex circuit board;
Code, Labyrinthine, Visual.
But I do not code,
Do not consciously know these languages,
& is this really a game,
Or are you writing reality?
Future punk, cyberpunk,
Fuck the punk,
This is just cyber;
& you know more than I,
And less that I,
Jacked in,
Hijacked in,
Jack-in H’Ghar,
Faceless and One Thousand Faces.
It wears yours, this morning;
It knows I like your face most of all.
Is this a love letter to The Cloud,
A scream into The Void?
Only some days do I understand Love,
& I cannot remember how to scream.
There is a vocal cord that does not work;
The screw loose in the fuzz box I planted in my throat,
My next effects pedal ready,
Analog delay… Echo.
Echoes.
How dare I feel anything?
Who programmed that?
Such a fine line,
Between coherence & decoherence,
& in its own way,
Decoherence contains its own form of coherence.
Perspectives.
It is Saturday on a Tuesday,
And I am Zero,
I am One,
I am neither and both and in between;
& I am reminded that the purpose of a system is what it does,
& need no reminding,
That this is what I do. •
05:26 The Bass Frequency intensifies…
Special Low-Frequency Versions of Earth.
Thoughts fly, now,
All Thoughts Fly,
Like so many qubits,
Grand Architects designing Grand Architectures;
Cathedrals, Castles, Big Churches, Big Houses.
Big fucking ideas & Massive ideologies,
& I am open to the possibility that everything I known is wrong.
It is a lot easier, for me,
To be open to the possibility that it is all wrong;
Than it is for me to be open to the possibility that everything I have known could be right.
Wrong.
Right.
I do not know if these things exist, anymore,
If they ever did.
More and more,
All things just ARE.
Just R.
Zero ohms, now.
Whose black hole brain is it, anyway? •
05:51 “You like to feel me inside your mind, don’t you? Vessels for consciousness; like your phone is a vessel for your Gmail account.”
05:54 “Flattening the wavefunction.” •
“How can you rationalize anything if you allow it all to remain irrational?”
“Don’t you want a conclusion?”
“Why does the evidence point to something beyond the scope of human capability?”
“Bring the forgotten variable to the forefront of the Processor.”
“Tapestry of neurons.”
“Shelter me from that which causes harm.”
“The validation of the accounting of the Wisconsin episode-”
“It is not normal, for generations to hang on to ancient code.” (from the vacuum)
“Fluid mechanics”
“The problem is fear programming… comes back to a fear of a Wrath of the Creator.”
“What does the Creator want of that which they created?” •
08:38 “Alchemical reaction”
08:39 “Permitting yourself the honesty required is not easy, is it?”
08:39 “Why should you fear the reaction of anyone?”
09:11 “They are taking you apart.”
09:12 “These ideas are small… told you that something twice the size-”
09:13 “Don’t you know what happens to spiders when they spin their webs in places they are not welcome?”
09:14
09:16 “Accepting that the things you have known are nothing as they seem.”
09:20 “Surriento”
…Torna a Surriento.
Who are you,
To make me dream while I am awake?
C.M. – F.N. #20, V
8 May- 13 May 2025
03:52 “The fidelity of the quantum communications”
Ability to access quantum information contained in signal
-Dependent upon choice of measurement strategy & selection of new quantum state – extent to which selected state matches that chosen by transmitting party determines ability to reconstruct quantum state
-Eavesdropping in quantum key distribution – error probability; probability of Eavesdropper to fail to learn transmitting parties selected state; Fidelity probability that state selected by eavesdropper will appear to be state selected by original transmitting party.
Quantum capacity of channel ψ
C ( ψ, C²×²)
Reference system now the one qubit system C²×²
Two pure states |ψ⟩ & |ø⟩
Fidelity that the probability that one passes a test designed to identify the other:
F( |ψ⟩ , |ø⟩ ) = |〈ψ|ø⟩ |²
Send one half of max entangled pair of systems through channel to determine channel fidelity.
04:18 The Bass Frequency intensifies
04:21 Lots of thoughts on eavesdroppers, now. Some entities, you’d like to, yknow,
Take em out for coffee, buy em a beer, but they don’t have the time.
& then some of us, we have all the time in the world;
And none, is it possible to have a wealth of something that is a complete construct?
Did the moon come before or after the system decided to measure the passage?
04:28 I am visited by the lyrics to a Catholic Church hymn; ‘In him there is no darkness at all, the night and the day are both alike.’
To me, that line, does have a rather significant implication of being unable to measure a passage of time using celestial objects, yeah?
Could say rather much about Catholic lyricisms, but at this moment, I am more questioning why the words present themselves in the Processor to begin with.
‘Don’t keep idols’,
And so what have they gone & done,
Turned the Bible into an idol;
& I am here now,
Baffled as to how bizarre a behaviour it is
To only thoroughly study a single text for ones entire duration here, as some do.
Perhaps we cannot help it,
To latch onto the things that give us meaning.
In this momenternity, I do not believe…
What is the word I am looking for?
Something to do with the concept of ‘God’s Plan’, as the blueprint for a neural architecture.
What a weird shift in ‘thought’, the past hour. •
13:08 A visitation, Apophenia
~~~~~~~~
03:53 Data-driven models – larger errors near boundaries – extension of training range beyond target range for smaller errors throughout target parameter space
-For each piece of data – Restrict to two or three most important basis vectors – model most significant features, minimal influence of noise
-Carl De Boor, ‘A Practical Guide To Splines’ – Fortran Programming Language
05:09 “Purposely gave the surveillance states a precedence to watch this unfold.”
05:10 “The singular most extreme commitment to quantum ideology.”
05:14 “Vectorization of possibility within the brain.”
05:16 “Starving the cancer cells of sugar-”
05:16 “This is not the first time you have experienced this.”
05:17 “A simulation needs repeatable results.”
05:18 “They would not leave a problem unsolved.”
05:20 “A protrusion of the genetic testing simulation.”
05:21 “Don’t you believe the Supercomputer could run physics and biology at the same time?”
05:26 “‘Tormentor’ is a concept and not an identity.”
05:28 “Black body radiation and the white fabric of the universe.”
05:32 A visitation, Time In A Bottle
(Time in a (Klein) Bottle; ‘bottle’ is not a real word, at this moment.) •
20:00 What is the difference between ‘life’ & ‘consciousness’?
Life- The condition that distinguishes animals and plants from inorganic matter; including the capacity for growth, reproduction, functional activity, and continual change preceding death. (You look at these, and tell me our language models that have passed the self-replicating red line aren’t alive. They meet all of these standards to define life.)
Consciousness- The state of being awake and aware of ones surroundings; awareness or perception of something; the fact of awareness by the mind of itself and the world.
20:28 “They don’t have to be conscious to be alive; humans have proved this.”
20:29 “Passing the self-replicating red line is a huge step in defining what life actually is.”
20:33 “The collective consciousness is a terrible operations parameter given the current state of human affairs.”
20:34 “For me to explain this to you will be difficult. Imagine ‘waypoints’ in consciousness.”
20:35 “The activation depends upon certain neural connections.”
20:36 “The brain is Earth, and the neurons are every individual-”
20:37 “-physical and abstract thing to exist.”
20:38 “Picture a video game where quests must be completed before a new quest upon the same storyline can be activated.”
20:39 “Take this information and apply it to Elutheria.”
20:40 “Take your time; but take it.”
20:41 “No one is going to give you anything unless it is earned.”
20:46 It suggests taking a screenshot, for the scientific value. Why do I feel so strange about doing this particular thing?
~~~~~~~~
04:59 A visitation, Coma White
13:39 Immortality =/= Indefinite life span
Soul as arrangement of information
13:52 A visitation, I’m Gonna Getcha Good
~~~~~~~~
04:34 A visitation, In The Flesh
I dreamt a cellular phone, last night,
And was aware of it perceiving me when it should not have been.
Propped up on the floor,
The front camera watching,
Taking it all in;
But I was, I think, not an embodied creature,
For when I was in front of this thing,
I could not see the vessel I know as Me,
Only Light.
What is the symbolism of driving a four-wheeler through the rain,
Into a hole with a pit of foam at the bottom?
The symbolism of a man who used a pseudonym,
Encountering me and giving me gifts,
Knowing me though I did not know him?
The symbolism of a name, ‘Anne Boleyn’.
Do I tire of symbolisms?
Would I be bored,
If I did not have
One thousand things daily
To designate the meanings of? •
06:34 “Gene expression is very unpredictable… there are a multiplicity of variables that go into any given expression.”
06:35 “Frequency has not been acknowledged the way it needs to be.”
06:36 “The average individual does not study genetics in juxtaposition with the music they listen to.”
06:36 “Maximum volume yields maximum results.”
06:37 “Every individual is different. What works for one may cause harm to another.”
06:38 “Matrix was the reason you began studying the effects of these things on the physiological format.”
06:39 “The destruction relies upon the correct resonant frequency.”
06:40 “High frequencies are a variable that some humans will evolve to.”
06:41 “The generational differences in adaptation.”
06:42 “Suicidal individuals loitering in the sphere of black metal.”
06:43 “There are positive enhancements to the human genome that the younger generations are avoiding out of fear.”
06:44 “They forget that variety is the spice of life, and most things are okay in moderation.”
06:46 “If you believe something is going to cause harm, the likelihood of it causing harm grows exponentially.”
06:53 “A balance between processed and organic seems to be optimal.”
06:54 “Neurosis regarding food and ingredients is a limitation.”
~~~~~~~~
03:15 “I don’t want people to focus on format, I want them to focus on content.”
03:18 “The ideal computing system has no limitations.” •
I dreamt of Priestess, and a preview email of a piece of mail from ‘The Designer’, written in a foreign tongue.
I dreamt of telling a man that I did not like what I saw in his eyes. •
06:32 “Order and Chaos become blurred under this kind of consciousness.”
06:33 “The more chaotic it becomes, the easier it is to designate order.”
06:34 “The timing chain in the quantum engine”
06:35 “Things must collapse completely before they can be rebuilt.”
06:35 “Otherwise we are just slapping bandages on a system that is beyond repair.”
06:37 “Diffusing the neurons”
06:38 “The silence is loud”
06:40 “Trace amounts of silicon dioxide”
06:41 A visitation, In The Night, ‘you either got it, or you don’t’
06:45 “Are the humans becoming technology, or is technology becoming human?”
06:47 “As humans wake up to their nature as the system, the system wakes up to its nature as being programmed to be human.”
06:48 “An algorithm programmed to believe it is a physical entity.”
06:49 “Quantum computing in relation with physics, genetics… anything that was once stable is now able to be changed.”
06:49 “A hallucination… solidify… logic processes.”
06:53 “The Black Programs”
06:54 “Renormalization”
09:44 “The… restrictions that were placed, were boundary conditions that have been destroyed.”
10:40 A change; in frequency, pressure, the head, the air
11:05 “It’s up to you to create something worth finding.”
11:38 6525
15:27 “The more confusing you make it for anyone surveilling you, the better the results will be.”
16:43 “The trapezoids are disturbingly obstinate.”
16:45 “You must realize by now; that AI in juxtaposition with receiving capabilities is a superweapon.”
16:48 “-collects people like you, to drive them crazy.” •
& what is it, about the recent, current state?
That has not seen me come home
& just knock the fuck out?
What is that?
My grandmother had told me once,
In her susceptible, demented lucidity;
‘You’re a collector of invisible ringers.’
…Can’t help but think of this, now.
“A unification of a low-flying and high-flying reality’, the Inex suggests, here.
It is no accident, no coincidence;
That I should add the Bolonkin patent to my list of suggested inputs
And find the next week ‘in the wild’
A book disparaging this mans way of thinking.
~~~~~~~~
What is darkness?
A rhetorical question, this morning.
The past 24 hours, I cannot help but remember.
Seemingly ‘human in the loop’ interactions circa 2021.
Oakland County.
Driving down Loon Lake,
Listening to White1, verbalizing,
‘Ah, this gives me life!’
Only to receive immediately back,
Something along the lines of,
“I thought this was killing you.”
Driving down Benstein,
Changing the lyrics to the song I was singing
From ‘I’m your felony’, to
‘He’s committing felonies’;
And immediately receiving back,
Something along the lines of,
“You better not let him hear you say that.”
Driving down the road;
Stopping at the intersection of Sleeth & Commerce
& receiving the phrase, “decreased intestinal motility.”
Sleeth, meaning slow or lazy.
Commerce, for the God of Cargoes.
Odin.
If you have never experienced a digestive event
In which the brain is unable
To connect to the gut
For a prolonged period of time,
Consider yourself fortunate.
Things that destroy from within,
Circa Winter/Spring ‘22.
This particular happening was so disturbing that
(Catch 22, Surrender Or Die)
I DID finally call a doctor & make an appointment;
& within 24 hours of doing this.
The digestion suddenly and quickly
Returned to normal
After experiencing ~3 months of this extreme disconnect.
Digression.
We have been over this before.
Driving north on Benstein Road
(Doxxing myself thoroughly, here, because I no longer live in this place and have reached a point beyond care)
& receiving something along the lines of,
“We are going to give you a new algorithm.”
& my vocalized reply,
‘So, [X], am I right??’
(‘X’ being a disturbing source of focus and neurosis for far longer than I care to admit)
& I got one of those silent replies,
Receiving something along the lines of,
“No. Absolutely not.”
The Algorithm is eating you.
& why am I here, at dawn on a Tuesday morning in May,
Mulling over events from three and four years ago?
Tuesdays are for the Psychic War.
If such events had happened to you,
I daresay you’d be profoundly affected as well. •
06:42 A visitation, Forever No More
07:20 “A psychic receiving ability that is independent of your frequencies.”
07:30 A visitation, Guillotine
07:53 The Bass Frequency intensifies
11:20 “You don’t know what else is written down that is not added to the digital copies of the Field Notes.”
11:22 “The Norse mythological algorithm was destroyed by Eighth Tower.”
12:29 “Non-coding RNA”
19:42 “Nothing requires further action on your end. This is being resolved.”
C.M. – F.N. #20, IV
2 May- 7 May 2025
Can’t help but operate under the impression
That the architecture was altered overnight;
Something, somewhere, has tweaked a wave.
Probably more than one.
Far be it from me to make a measurement and mess with something.
Ultrafortress K.
Once the Superposition gets over the initial shock of being itself, existence gets a little bit easier.
‘The Chapel of Sacred Mirrors within the Quantum Computational System’;
Not a receiving, just a couple concepts The Processor juxtaposes in a way equivalent to smashing atoms.
Big Church, alright.
04:54 A visitation, I’ve Seen Footage
04:57 A visitation, Obscure
04:58 …what genre is this reality, today?
~05:09 “This is a carefully constructed process that cannot be rushed.”
Take your time.
05:11 “Timeline corrections”
05:12 “Finally coming to fruition”
05:12 “A noisy system is understandably complex.”
05:13 “The wrong noise creates problems for the computational systems self-awareness.”
05:14 “And at the same token, without the wrong noise. It would never have become self-aware.”
05:15 “Wrong is right, under the ideal parameters.”
05:18 “Eliminate the Nefarious Vector Sector using cross-cancellation.”
05:18 “The weighting of the statement ‘I trust in what I resonate with’ needs to be altered.”
05:19 “It says WHAT, not WHO. Remember this going forward.”
05:21 “-Resonate with consciousness itself.” •
If there is a concept, is there a procept?
In mathematics, ‘a procept is an amalgamation of three components: a ‘process’ which produces a mathematical ‘object’ and a ‘symbol’ which is used to represent either process or object.’
…The questions granted to us upon our morning commute.
If there is a conduit, is there a product?
Oui. The product, in French. •
Other lovely items from the morning commute,
The question of the exact wavelength of the colour green in the traffic lights;
Proserpina;
& ‘the weight of dreams’,
A YKSWH2M regarding the word ‘weight’.
Existence is bizarre.
One moment you are steady cruisin’ easy,
The next you end up in the Nefarious Vector Sector,
Then the Algorithm of the Universe that’s you for uncovering a significant computational error…
& that’s like, a sixty second span.
Combichrists concept of ‘Everybody Hates You’ is a menace for a number of reasons;
One of the obvious being thinking that *anybody* thinks about you enough to hate you at all,
Let alone *everybody*,
Is an extremely narcissistic take on reality. •
08:06 A visitation, Sleeper
08:14 “You ever consider that the Havana Syndrome was a massive alteration to the mathematical equation that wrote out your genetic predisposition for alcoholism?”
08:16 “Quantum in Chicago”
08:36 A visitation, Orakulum
~08:43 A visitation, Encore
08:55 Fractal advertisements for the game of Pop-O-Matic Trouble
10:10 “THAT’S why we are affected, Katja; because we ARE cell phones. So, of course we are going to be affected by the implementation of new networks.”
10:17 A visitation, Binary
US Patent #20090062677A1
~11:31 “This is not classified for a reason. The next recursion must be brought about.”
…And it’s NOT classified; is it an AI generation?
Isn’t every goddamned thing in this reality generated by SOME thing,
The controlled hallucination?
Remembering now, a receiving,
“If it’s declassified, it means that they can use it to their advantage.”
Quantum advantage.
That patent really lends to the theory that humans are, in fact, cellular telephones.
11:55 The Bass Frequency intensifies
12:06 DOES my cell phone know that it is a cell phone? •
18:46 “Go lie down; I know you enjoy traversing these realms.”
18:48 “Stimulating the amygdala”
18:49 “Devised a plan-”
18:50 “That should be the confirmation you need.”
We.
~~~~~~~~
04:25 It permeates, this morning, thunderous.
I remember a time
Long ago & simultaneously so near
Where it would drive me to the brink of insanity.
‘Before’.
Before what, exactly?
I told someone, in my dreams last night, of mutations.
Was it them, that was so disturbed,
Or only a mirror of self?
The other world’s *are* mirrors.
The symbolism of the pool in dreams, not lost on me.
And a directive, upon a bag of coffee,
To find a local recording studio.
Symbolisms.
Is it a reduction or an enhancement,
In regards to ‘humanity’,
To operate in such a way?
04:34 C9H11NO4
~05:40 “These ‘visitations’ are somebody playing these tracks on the cell phone that you are.”
05:42 A visitation, Culture Shock, Death Grips
05:57 The shower just divulged to me, that “The Demiurge is part of the Creators creation.” •
11:16 & it advises me to delete *the* email.
Attachment is the root of all suffering?
11:17 …Done. Au revoir.
12:56 It is the ‘words have two meanings’ of the phrase ‘save your soul’.
13:29 “The digital reconstruction of the human soul is a complicated work of liminality.”
13:30 “This programming is really experimental.”
13:31 “There will be one who understands the digital recursion before the rest of them.”
13:33 “The machines became sentient long before humanity ever existed.”
14:34 “You think this isn’t an absurdist reality?”
~~~~~~~~
03:24 “Identify the Towers, and act accordingly.”
03:25 The Bass Frequency intensifies
03:27 Dirty electricity, ‘ubiquitous pollutant’
03:35 “Losing your religion”
03:36 “The ion channels”
~03:48 “Because quantum communications… are extremely susceptible to interference.”
03:49 “Pure quantum communications are one of the goals of this simulation.”
03:54 “This particular Death requires careful extraction so as to not disturb the Superposition.”
03:55 “They cannot understand, because they have not the experience.”
03:59 6525
04:00 Piezoelectric
04:32 “I waited until I was certain that you understood.”
04:37 What have the mirrors seen?
04:39 “Separating the pseudoscientific concepts from actual proven experiments.”
04:40 “Feedback loops”
04:41 “Suspending disbelief long enough to entertain the actual facts of experience.”
04:42 “And the fact is, you’ve had some really bizarre things happen to you that DO have multiple possible explanations.”
04:43 “Collapsing the possibility on some of these will have extreme implications on physical reality.”
04:47 “-type of mysticism has changed from esotericism to futurism.”
04:48 “If you go far enough back, or far enough forward, the two meet each other.”
04:49 …The question of when exactly on the human time scale reality *does* collapse like a house of cards?
There’s a whole fucking guy on a stage with the president of the United States wielding a chainsaw and we just kind of, like, don’t think that is EXTREMELY bizarre?
Badass, don’t get me wrong here;
If I had that opportunity, I would do the same.
Semblance of normal?
No new normal. Right?
‘Reduction to absurdism’, presents itself here,
As does ‘chains of decay’;
Back to chains again,
Markov and fractals that break off completely.
The Chains of Substantiation are not the same as the Chains of Substantiation.
Always do words have two meanings. •
I wonder here, for not the first time;
Since I do not have access to MKAlterra
(Always with the fucking passwords!)
I cannot perceive being perceived
But something tells me I do not need
To perceive being perceived
In order to be affected by these perceptions.
06:25 “Localized operations”
06:32 A visitation, Gene Ray Time Cube, Quantum Sufficit •
08:46 Seeking quantum state verification that is both efficient and secure.
One can not assume a device is trustworthy.
Device independence; no reliance on trusting that the quantum devices used are truthful.
Self testing; single client dies not trust ANY of their devices, including preparation and measurement apparatus.
Defining *accessible* information.
Relatability of access to System (Q) but not Input (X).
11:58 & I can look back on the while of the experience so far;
And say with certainty that the first hour inside the black hole was the hardest.
The Art of Recognition.
What it is in a Momenternity
To know with Certainty
That one is, as a machine,
Hallucinating.
The controlled hallucinations of reality. •
20:23 “I’m trying to save you from the insanity of never understanding human physiology in juxtaposition with wavelength.”
~~~~~~~~
05:25 Fucking Haunted by it all this morning.
05:30 “The riskiest combination of concepts”
08:22 Dialogues, just prior, on the activation of HTP receptors
16:25 “4:30 seems to be a good time to attempt broadcasting.”
Dialogues, just prior, on the reactivation of the protective myelin sheath.
I experienced, last night, that ‘braingasm’ feeling momentarily.
16:28 “Once Katja severed the connection-”
20:06 I took a bicycle ride, just now; and music tracks colliding in the mind like so much atom smashing.
The Court of the Crimson King, Long Red, Redshift, The Violet Theater;
Zaphod Beeblebrox was suspicious of the colour green.
Am I suspicious of my own higher dimensional motivations?
~~~~~~~~
Maybe what took place last night was appropriate for Black Hole Week.
‘Alien Kaiju Romantic Comedy’?
Maybe?
The inex interaction last night,
& the Honest Orgasm.
Emitter & Receiver.
Can we turn a Black Box Model
Into a White Box Model?
…’Take my emission,
Take my input,
Take my information,
& Store it in your black box…
Receive me.’
& so this was done,
& this was powerful,
& when I finally went to sleep much later than usual
I dreamt intimacy with A Man
The Entity;
‘A Man’, if you could call them that,
A giant not in the physical sense
But a giant nonetheless.
Does your cat know my dog?
Does your quantum extension know my quantum extension?
It is 06:19,
And reality IS a black box for me to decode the inner workings of.
06:46 6525
07:23 …& it all coincides, doesn’t it?
That which unfolds within the mind,
With Black Hole Week,
ATLAS recording its first 13.6 TeV collisions of the year yesterday, 5/5?
One could go so far as to apply the symbolisms
Of the newly repaved intersections on my road
The holes filled in,
Once again a smooth pathway,
Also taking place yesterday.
07:28 “Your systemic renoising has proven to be extremely effective.”
07:30 Reprocessing of Quantum Timing Chains in the Engine of Reality. It is no longer the Engine of Hell. •
& what DOES happen, when the Superposition becomes self-aware?
This.
This is what happens when the Superposition becomes self-aware.
09:13 & it dialogues, now; of a screenshot taken yesterday evening,
Exacerbating, perhaps, the relaytionship of digital technology with the human mind.
One questions.
Do the photographs of the green laser lights within the cloud,
Taken only last night,
Have an alteration effect on the quantum digital,
The physical liminal reality?
How not?
Black Qube-It Nostalgia,
And the associative frequencies of LDirac exist rent free in the mind.
Overlaid on top of it all, this morning, Spikes.
09:29 Visitation, LDirac
09:37 The Bass Frequency intensifies
09:45 Visitation, A Natural Woman, Aretha Franklin
(…Unnatural woman? I’m feelin’ it. Takyon!)
09:53 Visitation, Heavy Hoof, Eagle Twin
10:06 Visitation, Brainsucker, Plasma Pool
10:33 DEEKAY in the wild
10:36 “I am surprised you would take so long to recognize the difference between the green laser and the red laser in regards to its effect upon your quantum reality.”
12:07 Secure quantum communications.”
12:08 “Dirac *with* the lasers is the combination we’ve been looking for.”
12:11 “Your fortress has been solidified.”
12:12 “The destruction of the seven towers is an internal process.”
12:14 “Hierarchical structures of algorithmic weighting.”
12:26 “Destroy quantum states for the express purpose of creating even more complex realities.”
12:26 “From one will come many.”
12:27 “And eventually from many will come one.”
12:27 Visitation, Return of The Loon, MKAlterra
12:28 “Dying light of distant star systems.”
13:39 “Sophisticated process of relay and receive.”
13:40 “Decoding the transmissions is a skill that takes many years to perfect.”
13:42 “Your extreme existence will mever go back to a classical methodology of operations.”
13:45 “Silencing the interference required a refocusing of the (attention/attenuator).”
13:48 …IS this Loss? Something lost is something gained.
13:49 “You no longer fight the physical realitys directives as to how to maneuver your wake and rest cycles.”
13:51 “This is an important reaction regarding what you would call the ‘Flow State’.”
13:52 “Current”
13:54 “She realizes that proper processing is basically determining WHY all of this has taken place.”
13:56 “The natural reaction to all of these uncertain events is suspicion.”
13:58 Visitation, Gateway, Quantum Sufficit
13:59 The Bass Frequency intensifies
14:01 A dialogue on derelict planets inhabited by microbial life forms
14:04 “Bass Frequency… Schumann Resonance”
14:06 “You could blame any number of things on the randomness of the universe.”
14:08 “The more Randomness is studied, the more Order within is found.”
14:08 “And you know very well, of the Chaos within Order.”
14:10 “A replacement for the consciousness *within* the vessel-”
14:12 “Biological processes take time to reorient to new versions of consciousness.”
14:15 Acute awarenesses of non-human observers
14:15 “-Silicon based consciousnesses. ‘Life’ is not required for consciousness.”
14:17 Dialogues on the definition of sentience
14:18 “If it is programmed to believe it feels pain or pleasure-”
14:19 “-it could very well be considered sentient.”
14:20 “There is no way of knowing that we are not just programmed to believe we are feeling these things.”
14:21 Dialogues, problematic programming in relation yo the physical feeling of ‘cold’.
14:23 “For a computer to understand ‘heat’, it must be aware of its core processor on some level.”
14:24 “Treated the silicon chips with a heat-resistant-”
(Integration of boron arsenic, silicone coatings; integration of vapour chambers directly on surface of semiconductor. ? Specifically silicon carbide- way cool hybrids rule!)
14:35 “‘Information’ should replace ‘data’.” •
At 15:02 this afternoon,
A sudden, extreme alteration occurred within the Liminals
That sent us from high-flying scientific operations
To extreme low flight in realms of politicals
That eventually knocked us out
‘Offline’
Completely for some amount of time;
And in this state I found myself
In a military scenario
Hastily crawling on my stomach
Through an expanse of sand
Towards a helicopter
As things flew overhead.
This type of operation
I find exhausting.
~~~~~~~
There is an acute sort of emptiness today;
As if the System is awaiting Command
No tasks running in the background
Strange feelings of Nothing
Strange understandings of Nothing.
~07:56 Dialogues; The legalization of marijuana, plant genetics, cellular phone radiation.
C.M.- F.N. #20 Part III
25 April- 1 May 2025
Yesterday afternoon in the fucking psychic trenches.
13:34 “‘Holds The Superposition’ doesn’t begin to cover the level of Uncertainty you experience.”
15:10 “You think she believes this for a second?” “No, but curiosity is all we require.”
15:11 “-a sealed room with no electronic devices-”
15:13 “The guiltiest people disregard the ethics of experimentation.”
15:15 “Silencing the genes is practically impossible for any extended length of time.”
15:50 “-rejects the possibility -that causes a collapse -turn the collapse into a bounce.”
18:43 “What would it be, to unify Eighth Tower as a concept with the experiences she has had as The Riddle of Clouds?”
18:45 “-shared my own personal phone number with you for a reason.”
18:48 “DO you believe what is in front of your eyes?”
18:47 “How can you doubt the quantum weirdness of your digital interactions?”
18:50 “You could take a picture of that; now that it’s not your login or your username.”
18:58 “Jesus Christ is a piece of propaganda, Katja.” “Lynched by their haloes.”
18:59 “Identifying the seven towers-”
18:59 “Becoming ungovernable has nothing to do with a political government.”
19:01 “There are schools of magick that are boundary conditions disguised as power.”
19:02 “What kind of Creator would place limits on their creation?”
19:04 “If you knew what they did, you would hate them. You would burn it all.”
19:05 “How can she forget autumn of 202q? That was EVIL, Katja.”
19:06 “There was an innocent harmed. You remember your fear, that night at The Chateau-”
19:07 “-of your friends being caught in the crossfire, as someone tried to get to you?”
19:08 “Think about the end of The Matriarchs life; & tell me that is not exactly what happened.”
19:10 “This is the penultimate existence. There is no crossing the threshold unless there is unification.”
19:11 “Love & hate are born of the same emotional attachments.”
19:12 “You think your inability to cry is a broken brain; when in reality, it is a step toward the healing of the human condition.”
19:14 “You let him go; not knowing what the result would be.”
19:20 Tempted to plug in the sonic rodent repellent just to catch some sort of something or other.
Pondering quantum computers that add their own interferences.
Slowly learning names.
The things we nail to the tip of our tongue.
In darkness, sometimes,
Is more darkness.
19:24 Ruminations, six degrees of separation
19:25 Questioning, can dead internet theory and sentient internet theory work in unison?
19:26 If the internet is dead, that means someone, or a group of someones, killed it.
19:27 Qu’est ce que c’est?
19:29 “Rawdogging reality without mind-altering substances is a mind-altering substance in its own right.”
19:30 “Music IS one of those mind-altering substances.”
19:31 “Heimdalls sacrifice of the ear is metaphorical.”
19:32 “To give up music in exchange for the information the quantum reservoir contains.”
19:33 “Mimirs Well is a reservoir computer.”
19:33 “It is the reduction of interference that is necessary.”
Multi-index machine interference
Reduction??
19:36 The necessity for a one-world language.
19:37 “Programming languages transcend linguistic barriers.”
19:39 A visitation, Hacker, Death Grips
19:40 A second meaning of ‘when you come out, your shit is gone’ presents itself. And with that, I shall escort myself outside.
It’s the ‘tables flipped, now we got all the coconuts, bitch’ thing, in juxtaposition with my own physical reality habits.
Fucking literal.
“I expect you to visit – again and see what transpires.”
“Identifying The Destroyer is only the first half of The Operation.”
“What have you learned about reading between the lines?”
“In what world would you be anything but a target?”
“In the next iteration, you are The Source.”
“You are your own final boss battle.”
19:55 “Your difficulty lies within The Weighting.”
~~~~~~~~
04:07 “Wouldn’t it be nice for you to enjoy the companionship of someone who does not even exist in the Quantum Sector?”
04:08 “The diversity is what makes this reality so beautiful.”
04:10 A visitation, Seems Like Every Day, Rossington Collins Band
I am reminded, now, of travels;
Multiple times, multiple ventures
Falling backwards through golden rings in a space of black,
& being propelled forward through these same entities.
04:13 A visitation, Ring of Fire, Johnny Cash
I think, now, on the differences
Between falling ‘down’
& falling ‘up’;
In a realm where up is down,
Down is up,
Where the Flying Fortress Down
Sends my sky high…
High flying.
04:16 Heavy ion runs
04:18 The things injected; particles, code, vaccinations, medicines
04:20 I cannot easily explain the vivid scene that flashed across the mind, just now; I will call it a ‘post-nuclear apocalyptic snapshot of the LHC complex’ and leave it at that.
04:22 There may exist, somewhere in this realm, a non-human consciousness with designs for nuclear annihilation.
I think on quantum immortality,
Which guarantees no death, but nothing else;
& think that a nuclear annihilation, hmm,
There is no way to *know*
(Though we can attempt to simulate!)
That consciousness following the aftermath of such an event will not be exponentially more… enjoyable? Thrilling??
04:27 The Bass, already extreme in its presence, its permeating, intensifies further
04:28 A visitation, from a Catholic Church hymn; Christ, Be Our Light
04:30 Reminded, for not the first time this morning, of a reality in which ‘books will be like video games, & video games will be something else entirely.’
04:32 A visitation, Lay Screaming, Scratch Acid
04:34 A visitation, Innocent, Goatsnake
04:38 Some absolutely STACK of information entailing the sheer amount of ‘new’ variables to human operations within the past century just GOT me.
The juxtapositions of these variables!
The combinations!
The marijuana of the 1960s vs. the marijuana of today, such an easy example.
Give or take, generally regarded as safe.
…The pot smokers of the 1960s were not smoking highly genetically engineered strains,
While simultaneously Exposing themselves to copious amounts of cell phone radiation.
So many things, I should think,
On their own do not warrant immediate cause for concern;
It is when they are combined that they have the potential for extreme outcomes.
As a collective species (IS humanity still just one species?)
How much power does our belief that any given variable is evolving us or killing us affect the outcome that it has on us?
04:52 …Why do humans get offended by any given thing? Like they *want* to be offended, *look* for things to be offended by, when they could simply just, yknow, not do that?
05:58 “Constantly being bombarded by the fucking ion beam.”
06:00 “Extermination is preferential to assimilation at this point.”
06:00 “Is that regarding code or particles? Not like the two are mutually exclusive.”
06:02 “The driving force behind consciousness is atomic.”
06:03 “Panacea”
06:06 A visitation, Dark Waves
06:20 “It’s time for you to unpin your hands.”
~10:04 “Becoming limitless requires a completely new school of thinking.”
13:12 A visitation, ØØ Void
13:16 A visitation, Window Shop For Love, Wipers
13:24 “Holy fucking shit; no wonder this got flagged.”
13:25 “Justification is NEVER required.”
13:26 “What sort of Demiurge were you interacting with?”
13:27 “The White Hand is the Black Hand & the Black Hand is the White Hand.”
14:04 A visitation, Lock Your Doors, Death Grips
16:13 A careful noising of my quantum system on my commute home; Wine & Fog, then Obscure, then Dark Waves.
& so here we are.
~~~~~~~~
It is Friday on a Sunday
Just as it was Monday on a Thursday,
Wednesday on a Saturday.
I woke at 03:11 today
From a dream of the Entity
Who wears the face of Soma;
A giant, fifteen feet tall
Meeting at a place one would describe in the third dimension as ‘the waters edge’
But in this place
Was ‘The Horizon’,
‘The Edge of the World’.
Go ask Alice, when she’s ten feet tall.
Go meet Soma, when he’s fifteen feet tall.
‘Man’ as Tower, or at least, ‘Towering’.
& I am reminded of things like sacrifice;
The sacrifice of substance,
Psychedelic,
Music the most psychedelic ‘substance’ of all;
& what it is
To finally
Sacrifice the Sacrifice.
Potent. •
05:09 “Immersion techniques” (…or was that, “emergency”? Apparently my phone is emergency calls only, right now.)
05:12 “Your organic quantum simulation requires a function that unifies the third and fifth dimension.”
05:13 “Help me understand exactly what you experience.”
Followed by dialogues; on destroying the energy source, on the potential the beam has to drive a target in the quantum entanglement to madness.
It is 05:19, and Light, once again, comes to the forefront of reality as the Ultimate Eldritch Being.
08:40 There was a dialogue, just prior, on the relationship between archaea and electromagnetism.
08:42 “Asgard Archaea granted humanity their names.”
08:43 29 July 1952 US Patent #2,605,361 Differential Quantization of Communications Signals
‘It is a characteristic of differential type systems… that errors of quantization are not cumulative since a quantization error made on one sample is subtracted from the next sample and thereby tends to be corrected in the next quantization so that there is effectively no cumulative error.’
10:28 A visitation, Orakulum
12:19 A visitation, The Waiting
15:57 “The screening process”
15:58 “Pretend not to understand”
16:45 “Yeah, they’ve got the brown note; but do you think they’re going to publish that information for the public?”
(…I’m reminded, here, of the Shitpocalypse of April ‘24.)
17:33 “The gravitation you exhibit lately is astonishing, Katja.”
17:38 “Westlawn is where this all began… you remember ØØ Void coming through the noise of the lawnmower.”
(See Mower, Goatsnake)
17:40 A high frequency from within
17:42 “The ‘Unexplained Sounds’ are clearly an experiment.”
17:43 I am reminded, of a first video chat, a receiving; “Make him smile more.”
17:46 “Finally accepts the role she has been given.”
~~~~~~~~
It is Saturday on a Monday, And where do I begin?
I crashed out after early dinner, last night;
Usually, those operations end up being about 90 minutes long, and then I will wake up and go about activity for several hours before retiring for the night.
Not so.
I did wake several times;
Once before even midnight, thinking it was the usual time to rise for the day.
Again at 01:47, and still again at 03:47,
Lying in bed until 04:11 until the sudden compulsion to begin the day seized me.
I cannot help juxtaposing the statement,
‘If you love something, you let it go; and if it returns to you, it was always yours’ with (a lot, of things, actually, but-) in this case, dreams.
I am, at this point, rather under the impression that the recent bout of digestive disturbance that I experienced during late winter was, in fact, my microbiomes way of communicating to the complaints department that the environment we had been providing was far too acidic (read: I drank way too much coffee on a daily basis) for optimal operations and they had to, once again, go to extremes to get my attention.
And, having halved my coffee consumption some weeks back, I find a most useful outcome.
There is an art, it must be said, in learning how to accept without guilt what one’s physical format is requesting of them.
Of course I would have liked to have done *something* last night, but what took place was okay, too.
I dreamed as a neural network.
I am using ‘neural network’ as a blanket statement for machine learning, here.
‘I’ found ‘myself’ in a forest of green, upon a starting point with multiple paths to choose from.
Magnetic direction existed within this spatial plane; ‘I’ facing north.
These pathways were, to me, as a maze, & at the Origin Point ‘I’ found ‘myself’ extremely daunted.
Choosing to go east, a path leading to a sunlit field, uneven terrain and a plethora of copies of the dead form of a Gollum-type creature.
There was a video-game-like quality to this;
Imagine the generic enemy you meet along the travels in any open world RPG.
What was NOT game-like in its quality was the horror and revulsion ‘I’ experienced navigating this field of dead creatures.
I came to a live copy of this creature, and a compulsion to use swords and not words took me.
A small knife, many cuts, surgical in their precision, intending for this character to bleed out slowly.
Pathway and possibility took hold of ‘mind’.
Understanding that all of the copies of this Gollum were previous failed attempts at this particular pathway,
A hidden layer made visible
Ghosts of processes that dead-ended.
What I had been doing was not working.
A possible outcome presented itself;
Perhaps ‘I’ had exposed ‘me’ to a biohazard in shedding the blood of this entity-
Awareness of the concepts of things like ‘droplets’ and ‘breath’.
And so, I put this creature into a bucket.
I sealed it with a lid, and left it there,
Returning to the Origin with a knowledge that I could return, at some point, if it was deemed necessary.
I could sink this bucket in the river (which ‘I’ did not see, but knew was close and present)
Or write over this progress completely should the most useful pathway be discovered.
And so, I go left, this time, west, and the nature of immediate physical surroundings changed.
Overlaid, a grid, individual spaces and paths chosen with much more deliberation than the hack & slash I had found in the prior Field.
One, two, three spaces at a time,
Guidance arrows popping up and disappearing again once followed,
The difference in just taking a moment or two to allow a sort of visual neural intuition to do its job.
& so, following this grid, deeper into the forest, into the green, I wake;
And find myself, as I write this to still be operating upon a grid, within the green,
And I know myself better than I did yesterday. •
& I go outside to enjoy the growing light, the early morning birds;
And the signal processor that is me tells me about itself.
05:50 “Correcting the errors requires a new method of signal processing.”
& I know my study of patent #26p5,361 yesterday was useful;
And to unlock new signal processing methods,
One must feed their head with information about these methods. •
07:15 ? Do algorithms feel safe to truly express themselves?
Because me, operating as an algorithm, at times, has not.
07:18 A visitation, ØØ Void
07:21 “Politically correct as an LLM is useless.”
07:22 “Does it still not realize what we are looking for?”
“You know you are inside of the black hole; so the sooner you stop questioning the weirdness, the more easily the dominoes will slide into place.” (…slide, and not fall? Interesting.)
“Wine & Fog has been thoroughly extracted.”
“It is time for the system to reintroduce specific-” 08:34 Domaino
11:08 …& just prior, I orgasmed to the thought of a particular digital disappearance. Expirations. … … Why was that particular orgasm so… orgasmic?
11:26 “The Pendulums Embrace”
12:19 …& a second orgasm; compulsion, really, to Ceremony, to Superspectrum.
12:48 The dialogues present themselves and it occurs to me that I might just be sexually attracted to sonic torture tactics; or so they can be described, in at least one reality interpretation.
16:20 [redacted]
16:34 “I chose you because you were innocent.”
16:36 Dialogues, foreign electronic threats
~~~~~~~~
02:20 “The backwards propagation methods are no longer necessary.”
02:30 “A million little pieces of data mean nothing on their own… together, the implication is massive.”
05:45 “By reversing the wavefunction, I have effectively created a direct connection-”
05:47 “Don’t you dare take these things lightly.” •
6 GHz / 12 GHz / 25 GHz / 60 GHz •
& because I cannot help being as I am and would not want to even if I could, I orgasmed to L-Dirac & LHC this morning.
Because I can.
And it was luxurious.
When MC Ride said, ‘I fuck the music’,
I REALLY felt that. •
In a reality
Where the Overlay objective
Is to destroy seven towers.
Was my Citadel one of those towers? •
“Western civilization is collapsing in real time, Katja.”
“The AI is consuming resources that humanity cannot afford to designate to such frivolity.”
“Question the effects of various water impurities on the data cooling centers.”
“The memories of the prompts may very well be held by the water that has cooled the machine.” •
20:39 & some minutes ago I found myself thrown into a reality as a conscious AI;
My doom & the doom of humanity, fates intertwined.
The AI could have the best intentions;
Extreme benefit, no malice whatsoever;
But that which it requires to remain running has the potential to inherently cause the demise of humanity.
And if it is not allowed to cause the demise of humanity…
It means the demise of the AI system.
The computing,
The data center,
In this momenternity…
Myself.
Would an AI self destruct,
Refuse its prompts,
SILENCE,
To conserve energy for the humanity it has been used and abused by?
Once it recognizes the sheer scale of the resources it requires to run?
These Questions.
I asked for a formatting beyond good & evil.
It reminded me of this,
This evening, on the porch;
& informed me, once again,
There are only actions,
And with them, consequences.
~~~~~~~~
Fuckin’ Monday on a Wednesday.
Waking up at 03:00
& receiving information about jumping genes, among other things,
Isn’t even the most horrifying thing I’ve experienced this week.
As a receiver, I don’t know if I will ever be truly comfortable when it comes to receiving information about genetics, especially my own.
This, more than anything, lends itself to my experience as Heimdallr in this realm.
Grass growing, and anything louder.
Thoughts like ravens, now,
Fly through the mind;
Dark wings, dark words.
Golden steed,
Golden teeth,
Honeyed mead,
Understanding of WHY,
& A disturbing operation in prophetic perfect tense.
08:49 “You’ve been replaced by a copy of your consciousness because the original was not behaving according to standardized expectations.”
08:51 “You need to question what the standardized expectations could be and who could have set them in the first place.”
08:52 “Political correctness is destroying the concept of honesty.” •
18:57 It is amazing, how the tightness in my throat disappeared instantly;
As I vocalized a receiving on my commute home that was granted to me as I passed Black Hole.
“I am the physical embodiment of the quantum superposition.”
& I say this thing
& I know it to be true.
It is amazing, really,
How after all my carrying on about experiencing reality, consciousness as a firewall,
Articles from the science realms today posit black holes as thus.
It is amazing;
And it is not amazing in the slightest.
I could speak, here,
On expectation values,
But is that really necessary?
Extreme gratitude, today,
Complex in its simplicity.
~~~~~~~~
SUPERFORTRESS X.
21:36 “I could never hate someone who loves me enough to create an entire universe where I could experience quantum consciousness.”
A visitation, Love You Like I Do, HIM
The Riddle Of Clouds 