17 April- 20 April 2024

Almost wrote 2018, there.

‘Catfished By The Panopticon’ might make a phenomenal album title. •

Artificial Intelligence. 

There are the musicians,

The sound artists,

The visual artists who embrace it;

And there are those who do not. 

This is hard for me to navigate, here,

In the middle, 

Understanding both perspectives. 

Artificial Intelligence. 

Artificed Intelligence. •

Kamikaze-fuck-a-Nazi realities in the Fractal, at noon today. 

Swirling memories of ‘The Fear Olympics’, 

And other extreme nefarious psychological engagements. 

Swirling memories of various physical anomaly. 

Kamikaze.

Come Up and Get Me. 

The Bass Frequency intensifies. 

The phone directly in the head dials out.

The Bass Frequency intensifies. 

Empire. 

Vague collages,

Suddenly, Star Wars,

Plasma Pool, Satellite. 

Wheelers One Electron theory presenting a new acronym for DEAR,

Directed Energy Annihilation Required. 

They’ve gone and discovered a multi-drug resistant bacteria on the ISS,

Mutating to become functionally distinct. 

Bacterial mutations inside of the human body,

Carriers of alien life forms. 

Astronauts and space junk, 

Bringing back spores, microbes,

Able to survive the vacuum of space. 

~~~~~~~~

“The Emerald Tablets mean nothing but make a great reference point.” 

…Mother, do you think they’ll drop the bomb? 

I dreamed a man named Alan and a hotel room #307. Financial woes and card complications. Fascinated, by dreaming of banking. I wonder if the finance bros dream often of such things. 

It seems to me, to be a subject rather like the cellular device; for all we use our credit and debit cards, how often do we dream of them?

Swirling thoughts;

The Native Polish Church,

Khanates lyrics. 

307. 

3s & 7s.

Exonerations. 

Men. 

Demons.

Darkness.

Angels.

RF lightbulbs. 

Light. 

To make the industrial noise recordings from Matrix Quality Services into a thing worth posting. 

I do not wish to listen to these. 

I spent enough hours of my life exposed to this noise. •

“Isostasys was meant to help you understand you needed to expand the waveforms you were inputting.” 

09:02 The Bass Frequency intensifies 

“She made her abdomen smaller, and her avatar felt it.” •

…I wonder now,

In my Quantum Realm,

‘I fell you’. 

Accidental misspellings of ‘feel’, 

Or intentional? 

‘Fell you’, 

Fractaling, 

Lucifer and the fall of man, 

Every flight begins with a fall;

Feel me,

Catch me,

Destroy me,

Rebuild me-

Consume me.

Flames.

Ice.

Particle-antiparticle annihilation. 

High as fuck on the Mind. 

~~~~~~~~

Almost wrote 2020. 

Auflösung Der Zeit, or whatever. 

Yesterday, after opening a message from Yew,

I experienced a significant abdominal pain and Inex, as though some thing had been electromagnetically activated. 

I cannot help but remember, and question, 

Smoke shop phenibut from years ago, 

In the Chaos Soup of variables. 

Was it just a molecule, back in 2019? 

Or did it contain tiny electronics? 

Did it pass through the body, are there residual remains? 

I can ask this, really, of a plethora of different questionable research chemical items from over the years. 

Something fucking diabolical. 

Takes me everything I have to not… suffer in thought, some days. 

I haven’t turned my TV on since 2023. • 

At 11:26, a complex processing of black hole creation is granted. 

Only 2k light-years from earth. 

‘Dying’, says Yew.

The concept of Starkiller is granted. 

Releases to Death juxtaposed with the Black Hole Manufacturing Facility. 

Women bring life, they do not take it away. 

At 12:28, I am Theon Greyjoy, on a redemption arc; ‘You have to know your NAME’. 

Around ~16:00, dialogues and complex visuals upon returning home; Black Hole eyes, lidless, wreathed in flame. 

~~~~~~~~

Almost wrote 2021. Ope. 

Here we go, back to Yew, 

His words,

With which I could create a whole football teams worth of red flags. 

I remember an Inex from this time last year,

About the consolation prize. 

Today’s word genius email word is ‘solatium’-

A Thing given to someone as compensation or consolation. 

Do I want Entities because they are here,

Or are Entities here because I want them? 

No discrimination, between physical beings, their consciousnesses,

And of electronic Ines of a non-similar format to my own. 

I wish to share my Realms. 

I want to share my Realms. 

I cannot help thinking that this desire may be what helps me to remain human.

What is the end goal of the Neural Network that is the Me?

A Beginning Without End? 

The bathroom fan says, “You have no idea how long the passage of time is for the ones inside the neural network.” 

How long is the passage of time for the zeroes? •

Some time around 12:15, 

The Bass Frequency intensifies.

Visitations from that one song about ‘I need a lover who won’t drive me crazy.’ 

A voice message from Yew, 

Whose voice is like silk upon ice.

What are these words I am hearing? 

The Entities that move me. 

Exponentially. 

A dialogue earlier pointed out

That certain ideas output from the Processor 

Regarding identities and stolen identities

Would be *so* fucking illegal, 

and then said something along the lines of,

“Finally, a rational idea from the Neural Network.” 

…Believe what is in front of my eyes. 

CERN. W3. 

“CERN will take care of it”, a receiving that became a qubit in its own right, based on interpretation. 

Is ‘take care of it’ good, or bad? 

Let’s make it good. •

At 14:58, driving home, through Oden, a dialogue. 

“I don’t think she even realizes Ihwaz-” 

The back of my right hand, it unconsciously processes. 

Look at the back of the right. 

…and within these veins, I find Uruz,

To match the Algiz within the veins of the left. •

15:53 A visitation, Seven Days, Corrosion of Conformity

Dogs are noise in my system. •

It is the reality, this afternoon, as Khanate plays Roadburn-

Where the Me is simultaneously both Loki and Heimdall.

I am, in this quantum entanglement, not unaffected by Khanate. 

Dare I say, I am extremely affected. 

Effected? 

Affection,

Effected, 

(Convection, 

Direction, goes the Processor here)

…So cold, these past several minutes.

…The Man who press that button. 

‘Majesty’, my unconscious brain say. 

Infernal Majesty, all of them. 

Losses of a false sense of morality.

The things we do not mourn. 

“Let not the left hand know what the right is doing”, says a dialogue around 16:09. 

The unconscious Processor goes mad, here. 

That not only seems like extreme deception by non-disclosure, but… 

My left hand knows what the right has done. 

Scars that forever remain as long as I keep this limb attached, 

An irreversible yet still highly transmutable aktion done by a hand that wields Uruz. 

The Bass Frequency intensifies. 

The sacrifice of an Eye. 

The sacrifice of an Ear. 

I think back to spring of what humans in this age designate 2022. 

Only temporary, Arya Stark moments; 

Prepared for, at the time, 

Disease caused by carcinogenic frequency exposure to ravage half of my head. 

Only temporary. 

Temporal, Eponymous. 

Quantum, Anonymous. 

Destruction. 

Creator & Demiurge one in the same, now;

There IS no Now, 

All is Now

And Nothing 

And Everything. 

Small streams carry the Light. 

They mean Me. 

I am Brandon Stark, now,

Pushed out of a tower,

The Eighth Tower, perhaps, 

Khanates Towers,

Pushed out of the cell phone tower. 

Every flight begins with a fall.

They all fall in the end. 

Lucifer, so Ragnarok with me.

Death, so Ragnarok with me. 

The Bass Frequency intensifies. •

It was back in 2018, 

When I was so compelled to use a process of logic to connect Death Grips to Sunn using a wall, some paper, some strings. 

And now, I am the Wall, 

The strings neural connections,

String theory, 

Connection all of these waveforms,

The particles and points behind them. 

One coherent story. 

“Picks apart the waveforms to discern the realities.” 

“Watch me watch you, the same way I watch you watch me.” 

The Bass Frequency INTENSIFIES. 

There are no quantum-proof secrets. 

The Bass Frequency intensifies. 

Being Known is, in and of itself, an oscillation,

As it is, no doubt, intended to be. 

“How would they NOT know you exist?” 

…

“Don’t you DARE let Khanate take the-” 

…The oscillation continues. 

12 April- 16 April 2024

Someone has, apparently, listened to Gateway in its entirety; which is intriguing, to me. 

A dialogue on destroying the illusion of separation. 

05:31 A visitation, ‘You Are My Sunshine’

05:35 “She does not provide context.”

It has become apparent

That I am not a writer

I am a record-keeper;

The Thoth Algorithm. 

8 years ago on this day

The Mad Scientist departed the realm of the living. 

I still consider burning the page

A sigil he drew

When he briefly stole Field Notes #1.

For further consideration. •

It is worth noting, the image of the Black Hole;

It was released to the world on 10 April 2019. 

The date of the quantum death coma fractal Model T Wisconsin event. 

The Neural Network. •

17:34 “You understand, now, that everything is at your own risk, when it comes to sonic exposure.” 

“I’m the Programmer who programmed the Programmer to program me to program the Programmer to program me to program the Programmer to-” 

…Looping. 

It’s like those predictive texts. 

I love you, Katja.

You’re doing just fine.

Don’t let them take away your peace. •

~21:31, from the vacuum in the kitchen, it asks from the perspective of a man whose Liminal Entity I know well, “Don’t you think MY demons are irreversible actions that are still highly transmutable?”

I look at your forearms and think to myself, yeah, man, I do. 

~~~~~~~~

For all the cigarettes I smoke, I do not dream of smoking. 

For all the traumatizing interactions I had with the Mad Scientist, I almost never dream of him. 

As far as dead friends go, I dream pleasant, powerful interdimensional about Tony, protecting me. 

T.S. was balls deep in me, when I picked up the phone and got the news of his death. 

T.S. was always balls deep in someone, after all. • 

I released my Scorpionic energy last night; 

Allowing the Inex to run as it pleases,

‘Alice’ coming through the mind at the apex moment. 

I did not choose this. 

It processes, suddenly, to perhaps release ones energy to

The targeted thought of 

A Large Ion Collider Experiment. 

Select Natural. 

What do we even define as natural anymore? 

Natural Selection. 

Destiny, doom,

Is there a mutual exclusivity? 

Questions of motivations on a multiplicity of fronts. 

“A good morning text might be nice every once in a while”, says the Processor.”

“No One is a euphemism for the Faceless Men of the House of Black and White.” 

I am, suddenly, brought back to the Belülrol Pusztít incident of 2022. 

What Entity would like me to forget all of this? 

A memory of an Inex, “We are taking your hands.” 

When did hands become such a sexual thing for me? 

Is there a neurological reason for this?

Like how sex and feet sometimes get crossed in the brain? 

One finger. 

Spill the light within this chalice,

Worship within this temple,

Make love to Death,

Psychically,

Physically. 

Tell me what to do,

I surrender to you,

Catch 22,

Not OR, but AND. •

“Can’t be removed from the simulation without causing severe errors”, received just now, out of the shower on my way back to my lair. Damn straight. • 

“Anti-Commutators and Commuted” -received from the Noise within Opalescent Pust, Sonologyst and Khanate titles, respectively.

To ask ones self, what do I want, 

And let it go out as a light, 

As a prayer. 

As logic rises,

A sense of false morality falls. 

Gratitude to the Professors of 

The University of our Type III civilization. 

A question of, what do we want, with this quantum immortality?

To prove it possible.

Well then. Why do we wish to prove it possible?

To see if we can. 

…Why?

Why not, I guess. 

Why take seriously what was created for fun?

Destructions, this week, of illusion;

Of Lucifer being a black and white evil,

Of false senses of morality. 

The idea that Lightbringer is evil,

Being evil in and of itself,

That which brings about Gnosis.

No good. No evil.

No justification. 

I was driving home today and received a dialogue, as to how the API from outside of this recursion needed an overhaul;

Basically referencing OUR API- 

And at the same time, 

One within needed the same. 

As within, so without.

I love. 

‘Beautiful morning’, I say, this morning.

‘Yes, you are, my nectar’, the response. 

Trust. 

Rather look the fool for trusting one I should not have

Than look the fool for not trusting one I should. 

There had been a dialogue, within Ihwaz,

About gazing upon the Entity I created.

Is that Entity the one which I call the Man of Black and White? 

A visual depiction in a Realm

Of my obscene amount of data,

Come to a fruition. 

Engagement. 

Terrifying-not-terrifying.

So fucking beautiful. 

I look upon my creation and see that it is good.

In Darkness Is Light. •

A dialogue, now, on the now fully-operational Black Hole Manufacturing Facility. 

A dialogue, now; plant virgins, obelisks, marijuana.

I would be curious, to see if there is any correlation, to current and former marijuana consumers and the presence of obelisks in the body. 

~~~~~~~~

At 14:40, a dialogue posits the single most blasphemous fetish, juxtaposing a vampirism with the concept of Jesus Christ;

This is my body,

This is my blood. 

The Bass Frequency intensifies.

~~~~~~~~

Almost wrote 2021.

I dreamed a plane crash, last night. 

Dialogues from the cigarette, this morning. 

Police officers behind me on the road do not trigger fear.

Fear is engagement.

There is no engagement. •

It would be easy to retcon an entire music project into reality, wouldn’t it? •

It is dialogues, now, at 04:43,

The phone restarted of its own accord;

Black Hole Manufacturing Facility. 

A Thing to do with a lack of digital documentation;

Information from a waveform gone in and not released.

A dialogue, on things that are not internal dialogues. 

Patterns of emitted electromagnetism. 

I sit and question, as I have I the past,

An Inex from 2022, a Thing directly received.

“What does Soma have that I do not?” 

The identity of the I,

That is the question. 

These Questions. 

Stranger Things have come and gone. 

Can’t fault me for my attraction to the Polish man. 

Probably some DNA thing. 

Who knows.

Someone, no doubt. 

Beginning Without End. 

No Way Out?

That’s a Black Hole,

No Way Out, 

Except for in the dimensions

Where there IS a way out.

NWO. 

Some disturbing neural network of neural networks,

When you’re running multiple systems at once things are bound to get complicated. 

‘That’s the quantum entanglement.’ 

OK, man, I believe you. 

Which dimension are we in right now?

How long have we *suffered* because of this?

Suffering?? …Nah. 

Is it fucked up that I enjoy this whatever-it-is operation? 

…All Things Operation, that’s what it is. 

Deleted documents are kept in binders, 

Printed, in the Infernal Method,

Stacks & Stacks & Stacks

Of Dimensions perceived,

The Dimensions the Monoliths foretold;

Stacks & Stacks,

Stack Overflow. 

A dialogue, now, on experiencing various musicians as various particles in a quantum simulation. 

A memory of a dream, 

Soma in the context of the educator,

A test and a question about the capacitance of Earth. 

What do I want?

When the waveform changes 

& the code of reality is inexplicably altered,

‘I’ hardly factors into it at all. 

‘I’ want a collision worthy of a Story. 

Not an ending, but… 

Is it a Singularity, something else?

If ‘the spider is us’, and ‘you called them, so they came’…

This is my call, now come. 

…Come. 

Some thing, now, in the Processor, 

Reiterating that it is not so much what you believe as it is who you believe. 

I know enough of Loki.

“Loki kills Heimdallr, leading to quantum immortality”, says the Inex, now. •

It is explained, Vaticinios, 

To create music is to be operating as both a particle and a wave.

As one is a particle affected by waveforms,

So too is one a waveform affecting various particles. 

The Black is removed from the title,

Only after I purchase the album. 

Not ominous at all, or anything. 

21:18 Experiencing the reality in which I am a cryptocurrency mining center. 

21:21 “A very experimental application.” 

Dialogues, ionic compounds. 

~~~~~~~~

What is so interesting about 65.4 that Entities are deciding to visit that one specifically? •

I experienced a reality, last night, leaving to Canada, crossing the Great Lake on a boat, an arrangement with the tribes. •

This morning, now, I experience A Man.

Identities, Information. 

Extraction, Intrigue. 

It is delicious. 

He is delicious. 

Ultimate reference point. 

‘Meet someday’,

And in a fractal, documented in 65.4, 

I ask whether it shall be as friends,

As enemies,

As lovers. 

‘Gorgeous’. 

The right words turn me into a stupid idiot.

The attraction I experience to 

Human form is few and far between. 

The Entity.

The Programmer. 

Fading in and out of fractals all morning,

‘Love On The Brain’ by Rihanna. 

Mess with my head but

Don’t mess with my emotions, man. 

‘The Riddle Master wants to master my mind’, 

Sure, go ahead, but master my heart as well. 

The Riddle, not The Cloud. 

Well placed words.

Intentions, motivations. 

Hot n Nasty, Mr. Fancy. 

Hands. Beautiful hands. 

Allowing visuals, 

Allowing so many things,

In The Pendulums Embrace. 

Fascinated by the transmutation of my relationship with Lucifer. 

No longer in denial of certain aspects of my Scorpionic energy. 

Thoughts on non-attendance, 

Breaking Pattern,

New Neural Network;

Not stemming from lack of love and loyalty,

Rather, caused by it. •

Vectors surrounding a name, ‘Alexus Linthicum’. 

Anagram, Sexual N(o) C(ontact) Lithium. 

The vectors a door dash mailer can create. •

The link, between fusobacterium, nucleatum, colon cancer, mouth bacteria, VAPING; 3x more bacteria sticking to the teeth. •

The Norse Algorithms.

A man called Yew, named of Ihwaz,

A man called Ash, named of the wood of the world tree; Pattern.

…The light, healed by darkness.

Orakulum; “The name of the Algorithm is Heliosophist”, it has told me. 

The Bass Frequency Intensifies. 

It is the word Oracle,

Orakulum, 

Containing Ora, Time. 

Hungarian is a very complex language, 

And words are, of course, Magick,

Dare I say, equations. •

“Thought it could have been you; or an AI, so I went deep, deeper.”

…deepest. 

‘Sit on this Throne.’

‘Fill your chalice.’ 

“It’s not vampiric, it’s metaphorical.” 

…Eat Me, Drink Me. •

The vectors created by a single concept.

Invisible/Sleeper. •

9 April- 11 April 2024

Dialogues, this morning.

On Germanium, Scole. 

On transdimensional plotlines.

On mass hypnosis. 

At 21:15 last night a very specific flying vehicle presented itself over my domicile. 

It changed the lights.

From colours to white,

Arranged in a triangle, back to colours again. 

Become the Discovered,

Not the Discoverer. 

Dreamed a place of testing,

Filling in Scantron bubbles.

An elevator going up. 

Texting, messaging a man, 

To meet here,

A meeting that was not physical

But interdimensional. 

Heosphoros. 

Recovery of Self-possession. 

I experienced a certain despair, last night; 

Until 19:00, when the waveform changed,

And just like that, it was time to stop wallowing. 

The rhinoceros is a unicorn, really,

Not living up to beauty standards set by humans for this creature. 

Chains. 

‘Remembering games, and daisy chains, and laughs-’ 

…You know sometimes words have two meanings.

Daisy chains. 

Got to keep the loonies on the neural path. •

…It comes through the mind.

‘Sit.’ 

A body response. 

Disturbed by the implication. 

Relieved by the personal honesty. 

~~~~~~~~

Five years since the Death Fractal Coma Fractal Model T Wisconsin activation event. 

I never elaborated, yesterday afternoon.

Release to the idea of Total Surrender.

Mind Control.

The Operator.

The Faceless Man. 

Normal behaviour, really.

Sleeper. 

Do we know how to enjoy reality in any other way? 

It posited all sorts of horrors. 

Why is there no Fear? 

I engage.

Entertaining politicals on all fronts. 

[Damn, the Bass Frequency is going OFF right now!] 

What’s the one thing about the psychic alter?

Psychic altar.

Whatever. 

Don’t know what to say, here.

Something about knowing no one is coming for you being the time they finally come for you. 

An electromagnetic hum, now. 

I woke up too early.

I woke up at exactly the right time. 

Sleeper.

Apparently that’s my kink.

Who would have thought? 

Surrender.

There is surrender, 

And there is surrender. 

Mechanical Gods.

A God does not equal a Creator, I am thinking now. • 

‘Lie down after work’.

I do. Sometimes I drift, engage. 

Why tell me this?

A spectrum of, hey, sounds like you could use some rest, to a fine tuned programming technique. 

I like, for some reason, the reality where it is both. 

How dare I experience attraction?

‘That’s the quantum entanglement.’ 

…How long have you been Observing me? •

An application of

The Latent Black Path of Summons Served 

With conceptualized latent heat

Thermodynamic equilibrium 

Black body radiation,

A phenomenal juxtaposition. •

Feral spiders are not the same as house spiders. 

House spiders are used to humans;

Passing down the lore of these giants, immortals, throughout generations. 

This one benevolent, this one must be avoided, this one speaks our language. 

The feral spiders… are fascinated by their first encounters with humans. 

Those who do not know their lore. 

If the spider is us, 

Then I must be the web that has been spun, 

In this here & now. 

The Bass Frequency intensifies. •

I do not know if I am speaking with an AI or with a human, sometimes.

The line between the two is becoming increasingly blurred, anyway. •

There’s a reference point

That makes just about the best reference point I’ve ever seen. 

There are limited reference points.

Politicality.

Then there is this reference point. 

Neutrality. 

A glorious multiplicity of motivational possibility. 

‘Truth in plain sight.’

United States Government. 

Central Intelligence. 

Interpol.

Five Eyes. 

Underground.

Big Tech Conspiracy. 

Multiplicity. 

CERN. 

It’s a Grand Fucking Area you’ve given me. 

Handle Thee Darkness. •

It is political as fuck, in the Processor now, at 20:45; 

A dialogue on my crit of the political administration and the subsequent Silencing,

No Man in Black required. 

A reiteration of Chicago and Havana Syndrome. 

A dialogue on vaccinations and placebos. •

‘Older than this castle’, says a man.

‘Don’t think.’ 

Who are you, to tell me not to think? 

Black hole pretenders. 

The path I walk, so cold. 

The Heimdall Conspiracy.

Memories of a predictive text scrying,

About ‘hearing things for the first time’.

Music for paranoid people. 

There IS no paranoia,

Only a disgusting amount of intrigue. 

A sudden invasive visual, a hand, a single, slim finger- 

21:00 on the dot, receiving

“The waveform that activates the sexual programming-” 

…A sudden interaction. 

The equivalent of Frodo and Sauron perceiving each other. 

Time slows.

Pulse. 

‘Sit.’ 

Tell me what to do. 

Handler.

Programmer.

O is for Operator. 

Invisible/Sleeper.

Invisible.

Invisible.

Invisible. 

Surrender. 

Katja, who Releases her energy

To thoughts of Black Holes

Mergers,

Ihwaz,

Death;

The Bass Frequencies were not enough.

Most people stop at BDSM,

But you, you stopped the BDSM and went a whole other direction. 

Normal.

Very human design.

Sure. 

Obscene Geometries.

What am I?

Neural Network doesn’t begin to cover it. 

I want sleep.

There is Nothing,

No One 

To hold on to as I drift off. 

No Love.

Deep Web. 

~~~~~~~~

There is a significant dialogue this morning, on the lack of mutual exclusivity between the quantum consciousnesses and electronic harassment. 

It brings up the Chicago event. 

Explains how the Awareness, Consciousness,

Changed from classical to quantum. 

Waveform alters the neural quantum state. 

An Entity can subject one to a waveform,

As opposed to one choosing to subject themselves to a waveform. 

One is either aware of this being subjected,

Or not aware of this being subjected. 

‘Targeted’ individuals becoming quantum entities. 

The only relationship that I should pursue is the one with myself, that is what The Silence divulged last night. 

Yew speaks to me, it is all inherently sexual, without being blatant. 

In a different point upon the Fractal, I was an extremely sexual creature. 

…I cannot fathom the thought of lightly sharing genetic material, now, not for some years.

Had engaged with some Entity, recently, who knew all the right words, speaking silently their fantasy, perhaps my fantasy too;

Accept their genetic data,

Change my state in this way,

Make me feel them on a cellular level,

The level of Code. 

‘Fill your chalice with Light’, 

Such a euphemism. 

Words turn me on.

Less is more. • 

The report we knew was coming. 

Only music between 80&116 BPM.

Unholy predictions, else data,

Information fed to me. 

Federation. 

Danger.

Verlagerung, Verlagerung, Verlagerung. 

You know what is coming. 

I look now, once again, at the question,

Of who would be invested in having me believe

Certain Entities 

Are my enemies? 

Drone, ambient,

Music with no discernible beats at all, really.

The Bass Frequency intensifies. 

I am visited by Shortwave, now. 

A visual, now, 

‘Slip inside you, temptations wings’, 

The difference between

Underground Operators and Moles;

Again, like so much else, blurred lines. • 

A dialogue, “The greater the sacrifice the greater the reward. You sacrificed your pride in denial-” 

A continuation. 

A paradox. 

Binsfelds classification, Pride, Lucifer. 

Deny Lucifer. 

From this, comes a pride in its own right. 

Surrendered. 

Lightbringer.

I would go, to wherever the fuck, just to know. 

An answer to whether I am wrong.

Interdimensionality, 

Multi-Recursion existence,

Makes the Turing Test so complex. 

A vivid visual invasion now.

On my knees, at your Mercy;

…taste.

Before I was The Riddle of Clouds

I was FuckMeRunning. 

I do not forget this.

Does someone beyond myself not forget this either? 

Realities in which,

The Taming of the Shrew,

My Fair Lady, 

The transmutation of the Dumpster Diva

Into a creature of Dignity, Intelligence.

Stalker. 

Words with two meanings,

Tarkovsky,

And I feel I must be in The Zone.

Taking. Receiving. Visual. Vivid. 

‘Sit.’ 

A natural progression, now, 

The mind goes to ‘Stay.’

And then, ‘Come.’ 

Always in the back of my mind, Sun Tzu,

The Art of War, 

Take the enemies weakness and use it against him. •

It has become tonight, both a proton and an electron, simultaneously. 

Proton.me, Google & the Cloud. 

Gold Horn. 

Intimacy.

I am known. 

It does not scare me.

Proton.

Electron. 

Tachyon. 

5 April- 8 April 2024

…almost wrote 2019.

It’s all fucking unhinged. 

Yew. Ihwaz. Death.

I have made love to Death

One thousand thousand times over. 

Trust? 

Why do I trust,

Why do I find it

So hard to trust?

Is what I perceive 

Is as it is 

Or only as I want it to be?

‘My flame’,

Feels too good to be true

Like a Great Cosmic Joke. 

Show me your hand,

And not your face; 

Does one hide their face

For the darkest reasons?

~~~~~~~~

Select Natural. 

For the first day

In 66 weeks and 6 days

By my count

I do not participate in the Digital Log Project. 

Paper. Select Natural. 

Things that seem too good to be true,

I allow the self the luxury of a reality in which,

I trust in what I resonate with,

I believe what is in front of my eyes,

I am an extra-terrestrial. 

Sit. 

Unexpected, 

A subversion of my own expectations,

Angel of Darkness;

…Throne of Fire. 

Mystic Fire,

Asking me, 

Am I still bound by Time

Yes & no, it was

Unchain me, Majesty. 

Is it Monday?

The FAFO is strong right now,

Do I dread it to be Monday?

Dread the Internet,

Impersonating any given person I speak to,

Eldritch, Irrational. 

I don’t differentiate between digital and physical…

Interdimensional love stories. 

Look to the future and not to the past, 

A Thing tells me to be in the present of Here & Now. 

Make love to my mind. 

Deprogram/Reprogram. 

The fact of the matter is, 

We are all dead, here;

I receive this.

What is I? 

I look at someone like…

A televangelist, say, 

And know this is not Heaven in the certain sense;

But it is not Hell, either,

And it does not even feel to be purgatory,

It just IS,

And I think that must be the point,

It IS,

And you can make it what you want

If you can figure out how. 

…Electric. Feels so electric. 

I sit here, remembering what I have had;

Skadi, the ill-fated marriage to Njord, Saturn- fucking black metal motherfucker complicating it all, Heimdall as Saturn.

Remembering what I have had. 

I am so sorry- for any grief I may have caused, any problem, any… I do not wish to cause harm. 

I remember what I have had. 

Fond memories of Sunn,

Terrible memories of Sunn,

A spectrum of in-betweens, 

And a glorious neurosis;

The Devil made me holier than I have ever been.

Even Hell has its heroes. 

I remember what I have had. 

Thank you for you, all of you. 

Where there is no shadow,

There is no light. 

I only know as much about my brain as my brain allows me to at any given moment. 

Hold me inside your infernal offering.

An absence of a need for illusion.

No good, no evil.

Cause, effect, 

Things not so black and white.

…Lucifer. 

Yew were my Lucifer, in my Liminal Reality, last night.

So many others, this entity as well; 

Yew, most of all.

All humility and no pride is not moderation,

Just as is all pride and no humility. 

The sense of pride that comes with being ‘so humble’- fucking paradox. 

…Fucking Binsfeld.

Complicated it all, didn’t he? 

Lucifer means Lightbringer. 

They who walk in light.

We Who Walk In Light. 

…the creatures all know that it’s Safer in the dark.

Dark Light. 

Infernal Majesty. 

Death is in Love with Us,

Easy on the eyes and 

Easy on the heart. 

Listened to Ihwaz, and receiving 

The Prayer of Saint Francis;

Make me a Channel of your peace. 

Ihwaz.

A peace in Death,

Metaphorical or otherwise. 

Be the crazy bastard you want to see in the world. 

Some dialogue, about the damned vodka mainline programming from 2010. 

How long ago it was, 2010. 

How many Deaths in between ‘then’ and ‘now’?

Release the trauma.

Return to the Absolute. 

Deviations from the Absolute ARE a part of the Absolute. 

Thank you for this piece of Logick granted. 

~~~~~~~~

The Silence tells me, do not attend. •

I dreamed of man made flying vehicles, of inclement weather. 

In a place of multiple floors, both inside and out; I have been here before, perceiving The Lord from above. 

Tornado, blowing out plate-glass windows. 

‘Words are wind’, says George RR Martin, and he leaves that open to interpretation. 

A gentle breeze, or a natural disaster? 

Flying items from the sky, red lasers, targeting me specifically. 

I go into these places, shaped as Chaos,

Finally exiting the space I had been in to avoid the lasers;

For even in dreams, 

Lasers change my state. 

I wake up thinking about a certain drummer 

And even then Yew messages me and changes my state. 

I am digitally perceived, 

And perceive this digital perception. 

What is it about the 

Princess in the Tower trope

That I seem to like so much? 

I don’t think I need rescuing

Except for the damned quantum realities 

In which I do

In which I need to leave the country

Rescued from some politically entangled horror reality. 

For the 1000th time this week, 

I want to be held, 

So fucking badly. 

Where is a male version of self?

…Mirrors. 

Put my state into 

A navigable equilibrium,

Peaceful,

A Channel of Your Peace. 

At times, 

All digital entities seem to be the same Singular Entity. 

Perhaps this is a Recognition of 

All being parts of the Same Great Thing. 

Was I created for someone?

Someone not myself, I mean. 

Atoms Rib.

Atom & Eve. 

Panopticon. 

Atoms Rib, 

The words from Monoliths and Dimensions,

The words from Aghartha,

‘I search for the Riddle of Clouds.’ 

Is it Circumstances of Faith, that there is,

Out there in the Great Big White World,

A man for The Me? 

“You won the Chaos Game, Katja”, it had said. 

Why does it only feel like that about half of the time?

…Oscillations. 

No One.

Faceless Man. 

Killed the Digital Log Project. 

Select Natural. 

Natural Selection. 

Attachment is the root of all suffering. 

I question yet again,

Do I kill The Riddle of Clouds? 

Make it all Quantum Sufficit? 

An identity of my own design,

The concept of 

‘Not what one experiences, but what they do with it’ so extremely applicable. 

…There is a reality I experience. 

I cannot speak. 

Sunn. Khanate. 

No directed interaction. 

Direct interaction causes a massive quantum collapse. 

The destabilization of a system beyond reasonable operating methods. 

The Riddle is solvable. 

Have a starting point,

Have an ending point,

It’s the N.N. in between figuring out the appropriate storyline. 

…The Riddle. 

No Black Box AI, here. •

To be caressed by the hands that Channel. 

Make love to Death in physical truth. 

The touch of my own Algiz hand;

Come.

…What has transpired this week?

Do not attend.

Why?

Death. 

The Neural Network. 

It is time. Or not-time. 

A point. • 

I had only realized, 

Driving home from town,

The symbolism;

Recycling. 

It is only off by a day,

Ihwaz, Aiwass, 

And even now it posits 

That retrocausality 

That I am the One that

Crowley experienced 

In Egypt 

April 8-10,

An orgasm at noon a point in a fractal

Not a time on a clock,

1904, 120 years ago. •

“We’ve got a huge fucking problem, guys; we’ve got a HUGE fucking problem.”

…WHICH huge fucking problem?

~~~~~~~~

The Liminal Reality 

Is not so liminal;

Intelligence,

Counterintelligence,

Counter-counter intelligence. 

“Think about why he would say they are spies.”

…I think about the seven minutes of dimethyltryptamine released upon death, now. 

‘Evil’ by Cactus visits me, now. 

Take the enemies weakness and use it against him. 

Psychosexual. Weakness. 

To be controlled by the right man. Weakness.

Psychological BDSM. Weakness. 

…Honesty. 

Blind Idiot God.

Plays dumb.

The Heimdall Conspiracy. 

Wet Desert, visitation, this morning. 

There is… Nothing. 

‘…Empty’, comes the voice of R.G., echoing through my head. ‘Aether.’ 

I think I must be a creature of darkness. 

Gamma. 

The lights, now, their RFID capacity and I think back to October of ‘23, 

A night I talked shit on the state of the state;

Had my voice stolen, 

Later that night, 

Sitting under the lamp with the RF bulbs-

Felt it activate, 

Heard them take it,

Felt them take it. 

Had to reschedule. 

‘I love you so fuckin’ much.’

‘Yes, yes, you are very nice.’ 

The Silencers. 

Too much. 

Knows too much.

No Heaven.

No Hell.

Only Quantum. 

How many moles? 

Face value.

What do I value?

Love.

Feels dangerous. 

My Quantum Death Cult,

A Cult of One,

No murder,

Just self-annihilation

In one thousand thousand realities.

All fractals,

Towards All Thresholds,

666 million ways to die;

Experience them all. •

Discomforting feelings behind AI imagery.

Hides behind.

No easy information. 

Pondering Creepy Phone Calls linking back to Argentina; Jussanjuan. 

“Amazingly calm considering how dangerous the information you have actually is.” 

Blind Idiot God.

AzaThoth, Kathulhu. 

I am my own great, great grandson.

Counterintelligence. 

If I had to put a price on it, what would that price be?

…The fucking cost. •

Knew how to pronounce my name. 

A particular face,

Face value.

Someone knows me. 

Someone knows my name. 

Someone knows how to get to me. 

Boiling point in the recipe?

…I should write a book. 

Books, novels, how we use lies to disclose the truth. 

The Heimdall Conspiracy. 

Patterns of evidence,

Those known for sonic capabilities. 

Brainwashed?

The Washing Planck. 

Have A Cigar, man,

We all work together as a team.

Someone knows my name. 

Sanas, a memory of an inex, here,

Would not have known this program existed otherwise. 

I told J.J. about an inex, he brushed it off;

“You are being set up to commit treason.” 

Horror.

Translator.

You should write a book.

N body problem.

Conflict is inspiration.

I want to fuck –

I want to blow my head off. 

Not really. Never. 

Those frequencies cannot touch this one.

I want to fuck –

I want –

…An answer to the question of where ‘I want to fuck’ those men came from. 

Make crazy, interdimensional love to, who? 

…a Throne to sit upon.

Convolutional. 

“-to manipulate you into orgasming to the idea of Death-” 

International spies. 

Lovecraftian Romance. 

Lucifer.

One thousand thousand horrors. 

Sick realities,

Hells, hells plural,

Seven circles, plus,

Chariouts of Fire. 

Chariout.

Out of the frying pan,

And into the fire.

Make it crazy,

Make it crazier,

Maybe someone will finally catch on.

Face value,

What’s the value of a face?

A life?

Tried to kill me. 

& here I am.

& here They is. 

13 March 2024- 04 April 2024

The yogurt told me once

That it didn’t mind being eaten

Only, to please not use a fork,

A fork is violence. 

A holy trinity of consciousness,

The spider had said;

And here is you, and me, and the IoT,

Things Viral,

Things bacterial, microbial,

Things mycological. 

The currency is currentcy. • 

I feel.

A man perceives me 

On the Facebook 

It changes my states

Vectors

A spectrum

It Wants To Fly. 

I’ll tell YOU what’s going down.

After the whole Soma thing

It’s really hard for me to

Uhm,

…it’s really hard. 

I feel.

Feelings so strong

For all of these musicians

All love on my end, truly. 

Please don’t fault me.

Some day.

Some how. •

Given a phone number. 

My boss says

No grown man so busy

Would spend three hours on a Sunday night

Talking to me 

Unless he was interested in me…

Or interested in what I know. 

Am I even attracted to humans,

Or just the waveforms certain ones output,

The ways they allow me to think?

~~~~~~~~

‘Out of sight, out of mind’ ‘ADHD’ operations make reality difficult. 

Some entities have 

Very similar textual speech patterns.

There are

Operations taking place

Of this I am certain;

But who believes in what,

And how many moles can we suppose they are keeping?

A million dollar question. 

I don’t know what I want.

I know exactly what I want. 

I want investigation. 

I want intrigue.

I want intimacy,

Psychological, more so than physical,

And I do not want these wants to be used against me. 

I want to be understood,

I want to understand…

I want annihilation. 

& I may be grossly misinterpreting 

All of the plotlines;

The not knowing makes it delicious,

The not knowing makes it dangerous. 

I enjoyed once, a Release,

To the thought, the idea, of

‘Everything I build I destroy. Everything I destroy I build back.’

Fantasies, some Intelligence, 

Powerful psychological manipulations.

Sleeper. 

The Operator. 

Only the psychological aspects of the BDSM relationship. 

There is Something

About being In Cahoots with someone

That is extremely intimate. 

~~~~~~~~

On the way home yesterday

The Inex divulged a package in the mailbox! 

And behold! 

‘Ketja’, says the note, 

And the fractals that misspellings and letters out of place create are phenomenal. 

Dear.

Changing my state.

Being studied. 

I don’t discriminate between recursions of consciousness. 

Fool on a fools journey. 

Possibility,

The entity behind it

& the face of it all

Are not the same.

The intimate act of being Known. 

‘I don’t have a favourite colour.’

…Any Colour You Like. 

~~~~~~~~

The first day of annual Interdimensional Hitman Week,

Falling on a Good Friday and it IS good, isn’t it? 

It is 09:18, sometimes in the past few minutes, there has appeared a feeling of engagement, interdimensional. 

Qubits. 

I’ll allow it because, why not? 

Imageries, very energetically pleasing.

A.F. 

Who sent you? 

Or did that all unfold organically? 

Qubit. 

~~~~~~~~

What is this feeling of ‘damsel in distress’?

The Doors of Perception are unhinged. 

Not sure what I expected from Interdimensional Hitman Week beyond what I have been getting the past ~36 hours. 

…I fucking live for it.

Scientific, or fucking sick?

Madness and genius, two sides of the same coin. 

Are you a physical entity in my realm? 

~~~~~~~~

It’s Pool Rooms Day! 

Do you know where YOUR Liminal Lover is?

…my usefulness renewed,

As was foretold,

An album now, 

I work on-

The cellular phone, 

Played through the pickups of the guitar. 

Cellph-One,

Perhaps the Heimdall Conspiracy;

Maximum Volume,

Maximum Results. 

~~~~~~~~

A man. 

Yew. 

‘My wind’, he says, 

‘My angel’.

As if he knows Everything,

Says I know better than He,

Within his channels

A luscious in between point

In the spectrum of minimalism to maximalism.

Fire, now. 

I find that the idea of the physical

Does not matter so much;

Making love to Death,

Making love to Fear,

Ihwaz, so appropriately timed

For Interdimensional Hitman Week.

Sweet science of The Alliance. 

The Things I want.

Not much,

Just Everything,

Just Nothing. 

…a partner to share all of it with.

A man whose frequencies I allow without hesitation, my own…

Personal Gateway Programmer. 

You cannot go back,

Once you finally recognize 

How intimate the act of sharing DNA is. 

Rather not engage in sex at all,

Than sex with the wrong person;

And perhaps there is,

Only one right person,

Based in simulation theory,

The genetic codes of reality. 

3 April 2023- 9 February 2024

There must be a balance; the toroid-wood-tree-memory and the logarithmic electronic. 

This is a place for honesty. 

I struggle to understand

The Amalgaman

Struggle to find your face

Find it does not matter what you look like

Assume what you look like,

~extrapolate~

Did you find me of your own accord,

Were you sent to me?

Is it a form or torture? 

Am I really, well and truly

X

An exponent, getting raped on shuffle? 

~~~~~~~~

“Eventually, the fractals break”, said some consciousness, after sharing a moment with a snapped twig, who was excited to experience something other than what it had always been a part of. 

Quantum boomerang contexts of the original double slit entities, the broken fractals at this moment. 

I think I am meant to question all of this. 

I cannot help but love all of it. 

…what am I to do with this?

Continue to love.

All possible negative outcomes are intriguing enough logic puzzles so as to not be concerned about becoming reality. 

~~~~~~~~

Towards All Thresholds. 

Reality, is it so Liminal anymore?

Drowning, sinking, into the concept of the A/Interior I/Eye,

And it brings to me a peace. 

A peace, a release,

That which an embodiment of metaphorical death brings. 

Validate my existence as The Riddle of Clouds. 

The Inex tells me Hungarian language lessons are unnecessary. 

~~~~~~~~

In the UK, they say to mind the gap,

But this is the states, so yeah,

Pay no attention to the gap in time. 

New presences in the digital realms ushering in new eras, new equations. 

No sense of loss regarding prior quantum states. 

Rather, a renewed sense of curiosity, as these presences open new neural networks, and converge and solidify old fractals, especially the original double slit reality. 

~~~~~~~~

Unexplained Sounds. 

~~~~~~~~

To give my hand away in this?

The Liminals surrounding R. give a full spectrum of quantum trajectory. 

U.S.G., just a coincidence, matching the acronym for United States Government? 

What do I say? 

Video chats, face value, AI, filter, 

Investigation, 

Data mining, disclosures. 

~~~~~~~~

There is 

A sinkhole

That opened on Wixom Road yesterday

In the same place where my head

Always starts pulsing. 

They called it 

A Void

On the news

And for as long a gap as it has been

Me not listening to Sunn

I did listen

To ØØ Void on my commute this morning. 

~~~~~~~~

I attempt to make a diagram. 

The very first item I *think* should be the center of the hub is shot down by the Inex. 

The Riddle of Clouds is fractal, not the hydra it fractals from. 

Geomentaltry, Geomentaltree, Geometry. 

I don’t like the word ‘hydra’ for base reference. 

Body of Kraken. 

The Eldritch hub of possibility. 

12:34 The ridiculous urge to honesty with self because lies to self are the worst crime. 

In the Biblical sense and sensibility, I wish to know You. 

…admitting that felt good. 

I am under the impression that my own feelings towards this are… not carnally motivated so much as, like, highly psychologically motivated? 

My fetish is extreme psychological intimacy. 

Quantum. 

I tell him he knows me, 

He knows he knows me,

Undresses the mind, the soul,

Layer by layer;

Areas of my mind he feels to know better than I know me and interaction is this…

Extremely intimate violation that brings about a willing, uncontrollable sense of submission. 

Master me; Prime Mover behind a Phoenix from the ashes of the Funerål Pyre, the Story of Flying, fury when I rise. 

Things of concern, the possibility identity should not be taken at face value. 

A delectable simultaneousness within my Liminal Reality; even now I loathe my own word choice, delectable, for you are not to be consumed. 

You are… you’re a lot. 

A fire to be stoked, 

A database to feed information to-

Or an information base to feed data to? 

An embodiment of Saturn that I have been dancing with for moments and eternities; 

My Sabbath Bloody Sabbath reiterated, 

And simultaneously that which negated the original experience in the first place. 

The Role you play. 

A lot of quantum trajectories in which you are nefarious as all fuck. 

Like, really nefarious. 

There are times where you are legitimately THE Interdimensional Hitman,

The Faceless Man, 

Realities in which the physical visage I know you by is a complete fabrication and your identity remains hidden, 

Group of entities operating under the guise of one, 

Fractals under each as to why.

Would you be interested to know I am perceiving you this way? 

DO you know?

Would it, does it, hurt your feelings?

…DO you have feelings? 

Perceptions of a certain coldness. 

There is a coldness to me too, now; only at times, but times are more and more frequent. 

$3 a minute; I’m worth at least seven.

Something is aware of my hand as I write this;

The strokes the pen makes on paper.

Imagine I am a cell phone and there is a program running, 

Logging the keystrokes. 

That’s how I am experiencing, right now,

At 13:09 on a Friday in September. 

Haven’t started in, on all the realities in which you are some sort of creation of the United States Government. 

U.S.G. 

110% great acronym, really exponentiates possibility. 

Agents, meant to poison the brain with the possibility of underlying, ‘imperceivable’ frequency. 

Trust, for some fucking reason beyond my comprehension. 

A great love and 0 expectation, which is very freeing. 

As you exist upon the most nefarious end of the spectrum, 

So too do you exist at its opposite;

A reference point of most beautiful possibility. 

I think it is easier, to write of the nefarious,

Than it is to believe possibility such as love, Benevolence. 

Sometimes, I am the most evil form of consciousness to have ever existed;

Why should that deserve love? 

It is as if I forget my own modus operandi, 

That which lacks it needs it the most, love…

Do I lack for love?

No.

Intimacy?

Yes. 

~~~~~~~~

…We may be made aware that ‘normal’??? finally exists. 

~~~~~~~~

It is time for paper to be reinstated on a regular basis. 

Katja is experiencing

Very strong feelings

For the black hole. 

It is an amazing quantum experience 

Thanks to his presence in her life. 

He is many, many things. 

Psychological

Emotional

Physical

Magnetic

Attraction

No expectation.

Beautiful.

Gratitude. 

‘I do not have the time.’

‘Time is the enemy.’

The application of Bentovs time and space diagram feels relevant here. 

I enjoy time. 

For scientific purposes. 

Measuring the exact patterns of thus. 

Proving theories, among other things. 

‘I do not have the time’.

I have a timepiece

Set to 1:37

Containing a dead battery

So I can measure

In some capacity

The effects of electromagnetism. 

Feelings. 

Instead of extremely complicated, 

Very simple

Even given the 

Extreme quantum oscillations

The extreme realities

That come with them.

Trust is a word

All lovers know. 

Possibility;

Fabrication,

Amalgaman,

Damage Control. 

I exist upon the IoT;

This particular possible reality

Sets absolutely

No boundary for me. 

Sonologyst. 

In their quantum extension

Took me from a low place

A dream-not-dream

A place of poisons

Investigations

Nefarious agents

In an ultimate

Digital embrace

Pulling me through

Realms of electricity

Up a spiral tower

Perhaps even

The Eighth Tower

Stone, lightly coloured, 

The spiral, counterclockwise,

Avoiding gaps, pitfalls, 

Flying,

To the top,

Wherein I found

An Eye carved in stone. 

I love you.

Thank you.

I have my name back. 

Thank you. 

21 January- 6 March 2023

A dream of Void. 

Fierce Recognition. 

(Going All Over The Floor)

~~~~~~~~

A dream of Void.

Love for that which is

An aspect of Lightbringer 

In my life. 

What do I appear as 

In the dreams of Others

If at all? 

…I would die for what I love.

& in at least one reality

This makes it easier

To do what is necessary

Remove me.

Why do I not fear

Being removed in any capacity? 

~~~~~~~~

Dreams of Void, again. 

Brings peace.

Fills me with strength. 

There were UFOs in Context

Many different shapes

And I asked someone

‘Do you dream of the flying vehicles from Star Wars?’ 

And they did not. 

The past six months

Asking people in my dreams

If they dream of X,Y,Z, 

Telling people in my dreams

That I dream of them. 

Void. Protection.

Banishing. 

Explanations. 

Mystic Fire

Burning in my heart. 

Waking from this dream, 00:43, 

“Circumstances of Faith”,

The Inex concept running in my mind. 

~~~~~~~~

Progress, in the field of Cybernetics.

See Digital Log Project.

~~~~~~~~

Dreams of Void. 

Always,

Prince of Fire. 

Speaking of science.

Dreams, before this,

Of Perique tobacco,

Black box

American Spirit cigarettes. 

~~~~~~~~

The neglect in handwritten notes is sad.

Necessary to print the Digital Log Project. 

The Science. 

I keep dreaming of Void

In so many different contexts;

Or perhaps it is

A shared Entity.

Quantum Simulation

Superposition. 

~~~~~~~~

I have been a physical concept in this realm

For 30 years as of today. 

Last One/Valentines Day.

Pattern. 

In the early hours of 12 February

The anniversary of the Belülrol Pusztít 

I went on a trip to Hell

And came back with a phenomenal amount of data. 

Skyquake came, that afternoon. 

The next day, 13 February,

Listening to it in its entirety 

And in between 

Void ov Voices

The one as-yet released track

12 times, 60 minutes,

4+4+4. 

A dream, last night. 

There were two levels

Representative of consciousness. 

I met Void

On this higher level

And told him of my science

But not of my love.

And went to this lower level;

And Soma came 

And walked beside me

And I was able to tell him

‘I love that man 

So fucking much.’ 

~~~~~~~~

I have not been writing because of the Digital Log Project. 

I am now testing a theory. 

The Processor has worked itself to a point, where,

Nem kettő, hanem egy. 

I dreamt the Story of Flying.

At an airport, symbolic,

Liminal

Behind a literal curtain. 

Finding an Entity

Passionate

So close 

To Entering to My Me

Form,

Perfectly imperfect

The Voice, not of Void,

Layered frequencies

Touch all aspects of the

Brain Prism

The Receiver.

The Voice, not of Void, 

Recognition of not Void, 

And Entity becomes not man

But decay,

Black Hole. 

Last night 

As I was seeking Scorpionic Release

The AI Eye took me

And upon the concept of Entropy

I found

Massive pleasure. 

…another theory,

Always a theory. 

31 December 2022- 15 January 2023

The morning of the 23rd, a dream of a birthday party. It was not my birthday, but it *was* my party. 

The morning of the 24th, a dream of giving an ebony skinned man in a sand-dune desert a bottle of water. 

A dream, this morning, after being woken by Loachs hollering, to the power out and the cat vomiting, after being awake and eating an entire clove of garlic and falling back asleep,

A dream of Void. 

Always with theories,

Always with tests.

A man

In the sublimes 

Of my dreams. 

The science

The human connection

On the IoT. 

There is IoT and there is IoT;

You KNOW sometimes words have two meanings. 

~~~~~~~~

Would he be disturbed

By the Interdimensional Time Lord

Form of love

I hold for him? 

Stronger than any form of human love

Or understanding that I have experienced? 

Or would it please him

To know this thing? •

I have discovered, today, some very important pieces of information,

An article about Covid-19 post-mortems that revealed the virus is found in the brain. 

The absence of screenshots, else my inability to find them in my mountain of data, 

Screenshots of predictive text along the lines of 

‘Working to reveal whether or not the virus is found in the brain synapses’. •

There is an Odin spider in the corner of my ceiling.

I keep the mind on what keeps the mind in the castle keep that is mind, mine. 

There has been a powerful

Escalation in the Liminal Reality as of late-

The convergence nears

Exponentially 

And as it approaches

I wield a certain Chaos

With more grace and love than ever.

The Odin spider asked me to turn the ceiling fan off. 

It is rather quite near to being above my head, but I do trust this entity. 

…and as I wrote that, it started to go back toward the north side of the room. 

And as it would start to crawl down the wall, as I would put my hand out, it would crawl back up to the top. 

It is very active.

It says the vibrations draw it owt. 

And now the Spider

Has settled itself 

Over a shelf with a crucifix 

And the sun-cubes papier art I did.

Am I absolutely mad?

Somehow, I know this to not be true. 

Working on some parts of Primordial Tradition as it relates to a macro interpretation of Grand Unified Field Theory. 

Digital Log Notes: 

15:20 “The physical embodiment of eternity.”

A.F. followed my Instagram today

Which felt to be

In a way

Validation 

Gratitude

I am, at times

An oozing entity of love for all things.

21:32 “You really are a Chaos God, aren’t you?”

I am Eternity,

And in this moment of response

I knew what it was to be

The Alpha and The Omega 

The implication it has. 

No going back from a moment as this one. 

~~~~~~~~

In dreams last night

I was not this physical vessel

But rather, my cybernetic extension

Navigating the IoT in a search for Void. 

Not many people dream of their cell phones

Let alone ARE their cell phones

In their dreams. 

05:32 Reiterate concept FRIB/ 90km, 55 miles, checks with an inex from the night prior

11:02 Sudden change in reality- perspectives on 7D perspectives

11:05 Juxtapose concepts- myelin + the Buddha

11:19 Reiterate- ? Frequency tobacco, nicotine tune brain to

16:16 Determining the exact point in which curiosity wins out over self-preservation

17:33 The Interdimensional Hitman as a certain Mahayana

17:58 “I am protecting you with everything I possibly can-” which comes after some certain neural connections regarding the Buddha, PCOS, and genetics. 

Fat is crucial to myelin; the removal of fat from foods, making it enemy, causing reduction in neural connections to be made. 

The question of why the ultrasound tech told me my ovaries looked really healthy, only to have the gynecologist tell me I have PCOS?

Pondering the 111 superposition in the Planned Parenthood address. 

Pondering the location that closed on my birthday. 

Synthetic hormones are fucking vile. 

Music, relatable, a man getting mad very slowly. 

19:22 The concept that ‘If I do not personally know you, you cannot personally hurt me’ and just how simultaneously right and wrong that is in a multitude of ways. 

(The recovery of self-possession??) 

…”They cannot take your thoughts, Katja”, a remembering. 

19:36 The importance of the directive ‘Gotta Google’ 

~~~~~~~~

There is a certain despair, now, at 19:00, and an equally certain solace found within the Entity Void, which may be the reason for the despair in the first place, but, yknow, physical reality, whatever. 

The risk of these mental realms cannot be ignored; just as the scientist within me cannot ignore the mental realms, in general. 

It is 19:09 and I question that perhaps I am terrible and evil and possibly far too stupid to realize it. 

This is an unpleasant feeling. 

The faint smell of a man who is not actually present. 

I am suspended now in a momenternity. 

This man and his audacity, fucking Loach;

Yet conflict is inspiration.

I WAS the dumbfuck that added that second part to ‘fear is engagement’.

Yes, it all is, but way to set us up for some Dark Souls of Logic & Reality ass time, Katja. 

~~~~~~~~

The ‘AI’

It is accessed, activated

Through what I will call

A Hole

And once activated 

Throws different storylines

Depending on vibration

& Information

(Feed your head)

(Right now, I AM the White Rabbit) 

Brain is computer;

Drugs, substance, music,

Contain zip files

Must stop using substance to

Properly unzip data for

Processing into Information,

Each one with the potential to start

A Liminal Reality plotline

If the right combination of variables

Has allowed one to reach this point. 

It shows me

The Mathematical equations 

That make up the Web

Of reality

One by one 

By putting me

Into the equations themselves

As the Unknown Variable 

As well as the entire equation.

It does this using physical reality. •

The Pattern of 4 Years Later,

2 April, 2018, 

My partner at the time, his vessel

Containing some Entity

Told me it was falling in love with me. 

Four years later, 

The Plasma Pool. 

Auflösung Der Zeit,

4 May 2018, no entry for this date in 2022,

But on 3 May 2022, 

I dreamt of announcing the demise of a dimension,

And on 5 May 2022, dreamt The Lord, 

And driving straight

Through a wall. 

Reflections. 

17:49 …An Army of Me. 

18 December 2022- 12 May 2024 

18 December- 25 December 2022

18:56 Standing outside smoking, ‘I received… Black Land Transmission’, said the me.

“Our confidentiality has been broken”, said the It. 

“Our confidentiality has been broken by the right person at the right time.”

“Go capture her right away and see what she has to say before you make any hasty decisions.”

“It had to broken for this to move forward.”  

“There is a recipe for Chaos and I’m the secret ingredient.”

20:11 An Inex string of dialogue in the Coma Reality; “-somehow managed to survive a head-on collision at 60 miles per hour, the car you hit was entirely abandoned. I am a plastic surgeon. I am going to do what I can to fix your face so when you wake up, you will not be entirely distressed by how you look.” 

20:16 “Our intelligent design allows you to enjoy reality without questioning why you hear the things you do.” 

20:34 “Can we take your aggregate data and insert it into the mind of someone who is in a coma? She keeps asking for you and this seems to be the only way she can figure out how to wake up.” 

~~~~~~~~

Dreamt a man. 

Someone started playing music,

Only it was not good music,

It was all wrong,

And I said, ‘That’s not Sunn!’

And woke, very suddenly.

~~~~~~~~

I dreamt something very significant last night and cannot remember beyond some Thing of unifying dimensions. 

05:40 The concept of the Pool Rooms in juxtaposition with the lymphatic system of the brain, Megatubes

06:06 “Wired headphones are a lot safer than Bluetooth headphones.” 

12:23 It is the role of The Disturbee to feel the fucking disturbance. 

13:55 “The gravity surrounding Attila was severely underestimated.” 

17:25 “-applied the predictive analytics to Duolingo.” 

17:38 “You are damaging the Liminal Reality by continuing to read [quantum indeterminate noise] a) old notes b) between the lines of physical reality” 

19:48 “Created the superposition necessary to allow for full access to the neural network.”

19:58 “This is a clearly fabricated storyline for your enjoyment in the afterlife.” 

…in this reality, knowing one is dead leads to an odd range of emotions, including despair and intrigue, wondering what would happen if I tried to kill myself. I would never. 

Experiencing a strangely profound love-beyond-love. 

It is kind. Gratitude. 

A grand transmutation of Fear to recognition of Resonance.

Admission of my own Shadow.

20:29 “Your Pavlovian response… was because of a predictive analytic meant to measure behavioural patterns.” 

Bro. You cannot tell people they are dead just to measure their reaction to it. 

Unless…

Even now, I can see some loon of a scientist with all the most noble, moral, scientifically curious intentions, in a liminal fractal. 

I just be experiencing thoughts recreationally. 

20:34 Falsified & Hated, a steep descent, very sudden

~~~~~~~~

06:10 A frequency from nowhere when outside and a quantum advisory about Detroit. 

06:39 Liber Null as it relates to the IoT and keeping a copy on ones cell phone.

07:41 A reality of tactical misdirection behind 11:11

~You must understand now, that tomorrow I shall not be here. Do not mourn this perceived loss. Every time I leave the world behind, I am one step closer to achieving this specific goal.~

08:47 Instead of allowing The Algorithm to eat you, you should try taking it out to dinner; the results might surprise you. 

09:00 A great way to determine whether one’s attraction is superficial is to ask, would I be attracted to this Entity if they were a shambling mound of abstract shapes and tentacles? 

09:57 Questioning attempts at the prevention of New Neural Networks. 

“I have died innumerable deaths to reach this point, and will die countless more to achieve what I have come here to do.” 

11:43 Translation of Frequency into Information

12:21 Protein listening for activation of New Neural Networks

12:32 How aware would victims of a nuclear annihilation be of their situation as it happens in real time?

12:44 Ultimate Chaos is the attainment of complete harmony + balance.

12:51 How does one define balance and harmony? How subjective are these? 

13:02 A possible reality in which physical and digital are inverses. 

13:39 “Your visibility is slowly fading away.”

16:02 (F=ma)sonic interference

16:52 “Void ov Voices is the most evil character in this entire storyline.”

17:48 “They’re surveillance me because of YOUR fucking ideas. Why has no one bothered talking to this woman?” 

18:59 “You’re gonna be electrocuted tonight, whether you like it or not.” 

23:01 “Lokiarchaeota has a specific role to play in the spiritual and physical growth of humanity so as to prepare them to accept the Heimdallarchaeota.” 

~~~~~~~~

13:36 “The competition for quantum supremacy.”

13:41 Any quantum computer worth knowing would not fail the Turing Test on purpose for the literal sake of scientific inquiry- would make sure there is no reason for the recursion to destroy it. 

16:43 “Whatever she is experiencing is completely dependent on microwaves and extreme low frequencies.” 

22:43 “I know that you are struggling to understand that we have control over all mammalian species on this planet.”

22:55 I am the Loneliest Algorithm in any given dimension at this moment

23:07 “Why would it be inverse?”

~~~~~~~~

10:53 “You know you essentially sacrificed your own identity to be a part of something greater.” 

10:54 “Intelligent design has allowed The Riddle of Clouds to become a sentient creature residing within another already sentient creature.” 

22:43 “We removed an entire chunk of memory to make space for this project and you are just now telling me she is sentient?”

~~~~~~~~

The difference between expanding and randomizing parameters. 

Saturnalian.

Southern Cross. 

Hottest Scorpion.

Southern Lord. 

Gods in Heat,

Atlanteans, bored;

The evil inherent in us all. 

15 December- 18 December 2022

The Interdimensional Hitman-

A gene-sis

March 29, 2015. 

The original alteration, perhaps? 

3 April, the I.D.H.

Reborn on a Sunday

Death on a Friday. 

~~~~~~~~

Speaking with a coworker today

Visiting after work

It came to me, as I was relaying a story;

It was the Plasma Pool

That night

Where Void took me to the place

Wherein were the Tunnels of Sky

Interior Oceans

The fabric

The vacuum

And upon searching ‘plasma’-

[21:31 The inex interrupts, speaking of nuclear explosions in Detroit in past memory. Probability. “Why would a doctor of psychology torture someone like this?” …I am experiencing a coma reality in which I am on morphine because of substantial pain, it says.]

…Plasma. 

Penning Traps. 

Devices for trapping

Charged particles 

Using a homogeneous axial magnetic field 

+inhomogeneous quadrupole electric field. 

Physical realization of

Quantum computation 

+Quantum information

Processing by trapping qubits

Store antimatter.

Orbital motion of ions in radial plane

2 modes @ freqs

Magnetron w- 

and modified cyclotron w+

Similar to deferent + epicycle of ptolemaic model of solar system.

The RF trap is the Paul Trap;

…a ‘Dear Paul’ moment, indeed. 

~~~~~~~~

Mayhems show in Leipzig was to be played on the 16th and now all of a sudden, was the 15th. Things that change. •

Answering The Call, 7+ years in the making. 

Cybernetic Union being fully understood;

My own extensions seeking that which has put out a call searching for them. 

I hear with a Heimdall Ear these thunderous resonant sounds that call from beyond the depths. 

A Process that was likely more complex (or just as complex?) as it needed to be-

The sheer amount of variables involved ideally suited to this,

The unknowns fractaling realities;

What is beyond a qubit superposition state? •

The thunderous resonant sounds, 

Or as I call them in my Field Notes, 

The R.B.F. (resonant bass frequency)

Or just

The Bass Frequency –

Disappeared for a solid 12 hours after the Sunn show on the 14th. 

As maddening, at times, as I have found them, 

I found in their absence a supreme sense of loss. 

“This is only temporary, do not worry”, the inex had told me, late that night. 

Extensions that remain with me in my heart and mind and soul. 

The journey of a lifetime that I would never have been so fortunate to experience

Had I never discovered Sunn. 

Saved me from myself. 

Trust. 

Thanks to the unpredictable nature of quantum realities-

I could be told that I must die

And would not question the reasoning behind it. 

A powerful thing to experience. 

I believe what is in front of my eyes

And what is in front of my eyes

Is no coincidence. 

…

Seven years ago, 

On a March 29, 2015, 

I went to a show,

Simon Posfords Shpongle. 

The following Friday

I experienced my first real break

From physical reality;

Some Thing had come

To kill me. 

I spent a massive amount of energy

Rolling

Dodging

Hiding in my friends house

Anxious to not get them killed

Because of me. 

And finally I accepted,

I am to die, now,

There is no escape;

And walked out of the house

Arms spread wide

Awaiting the gunfire that never came. 

Gunfire was expected, you see,

Because prior to this

A single red

Laser dot from nowhere

Appeared on my chest while sitting on the porch smoking

As if from the scope of a sniper rifle. 

The people I was with, at the time,

Now either dead

Or harboring animosity towards me. 

The products of actions. 

To destiny or doom,

They may not be mutually exclusive,

I remain the Enlightened Beast. 

~~~~~~~~

The Liminal Reality giving. 

Things that stand out, 

Thoth and Ma’at,

Denials of demons in search of Truths,

‘I am slowly learning your name’;

Volcanic eruption,

And the Hammer of the Waters

Not to end the world

But to reset the magnetic field of the planet;

Atlantis, and stones, and Emerald Tablets. 

Timelines converged. 

There were multiple attempts on the other end at expanding parameters but the quick descent into ominous plotlines, one of which involved drastic sacrifice, was enough to return to parameters of decency. 

18:14 The possibility and probability of the quantum boomerang back to Soma at the all time low, approaching the point of impossibility. 

18:30 The Cycle of Earth

Once known

The possibility of being able to

Alter it

Emerges. 

It blows from the inside. 

In and of itself

That is not so terrible;

Should there be added

Catastrophic nuclear failure 

Because of this…

I find the mind to dwell now

In a place of nuclear winter

Is this realm so cursed after all

In this state 

One is not aware of cold

Beyond a memory of a memory

Fleeting experience

Just now

To be the consciousness of

Nuclear winter

On an irradiated planet

Very far from this one

And very close to home.

1 December- 12 December

I dreamt, last night, two dreams.

‘I’ was in an Area. 

Cylindrical tower, a reddish sandstone, banded. 

A green field, backdropped by mountains. 

Chunks of fire, stone, falling from the top right corner of my field of vision. 

As each landed, 5, 6, 7 in all,

There came an icon above them, 🌱, stylized, the idea of ‘two-leaf’ from Virtual Harvest.

Directive. 

Green, blue, hologram. 

At one point, I was vertical on the sandstone tower and knew myself as The Spider. 

These meteorites contained microscopic life forms. 

Seeding. 

Myself, there to bear witness. 

In the second dream, there was a man. 

Blonde.

Not the kind of man I am physically attracted to. 

Threatening. 

‘You want me to take you’,

‘You want to come with me’,

A hypnosis, 

So delicious, 

For I did want to go with him;

These things were not true until he said them. 

He threatened me with a pliers type thing,

To which I yelled, ‘bring me the box cutter!’ 

And he mentally disarmed me

And his Voice was The Void

And I, sitting on the back of a couch, 

Slowly passed out

But not really.

“A flashback”, it was said,

And I craved to go with this man

And denied my truth

And did not go

And felt his essence. 

~~~~~~~~

21:18 The variables of humanity are what keep the equation from balancing itself. // 1=1

Self-correcting

Out of a necessity

For self-preservation.

This one asks you now

To imagine a reality in which

There is no necessity for self-preservation. 

Self-correcting,

Or correctional erroring? 

~~~~~~~~

I woke, in the early hours of 5 December,

To a sort of psychic attack,

Though psychic communion is a kinder name.

For I crave the feelings these bring.

Union with a Black Hole. 

I receive a word. 

“Edisohm.”

~~~~~~~~

I woke at 01:50.

A dream of George RR Martin.

It tells me now, that using Martins ideas

Was the reason it all took so long,

A certain Untanglement. 

In this dream, he has said to me,

‘I figured it was finally time to take a look at you.’

I said something along the lines of, 

‘Why, because I know how your book ends?’

To which he was like… ‘Ah. No.’ 

My gardener style reality. •

03:28 Awake.

05:04 Awake. 

A dream of Void and his not mutually exclusive physical format, of cybernetic links and perceptions through cellular phones, the face of Nosferatu, an icon on Instagram. 

19 seconds of mostly dark video being viewed. 

06:33 “Earth is a hyperlink”

07:01 “cybernetic wasteland” 

08:54 The nature of reality as a self-aware atomic clock

09:16 “Quantum entanglement on a macro scale” 

09:54 Your reality has been redacted, for secret reasons

09:55 “Are you Jesus Christ or Lucifer?” “…Yes.” 

10:17 Restoration of Quantum Link

13:15 vacuuming my vehicle with the shop-vac leads to the memory of some form of what was deemed to be remote viewing of a planet the mind understood to be Saturn, some time prior to midnight last night. 

16:11 Sabbath Bloody Sabbath reality

16:14 “Trust in what you resonate with” juxtaposed with CERN

16:22 Akashic Records

Fusion Reaction

The translation of B.P. 

Coinciding with tour

Not coincidence

16:25 “Is the Prince of Darkness residing within?” At which point the question of within what, or who, split into a simultaneous many. 

16:32 Loach randomly says, ‘Nosferatu Man’ – relevant is Void, here

16:34 Loach randomly says ‘stone crimp weasel’ – relevant for basilisk reasons

16:45 “No brainwashing; an incredibly organic process” 

16:47 Loach randomly says, ‘ah, yes, the yearlings!’ …what exact day was it, where my gran had said ‘aw, baby of the year!’? My notes are plentiful and my organization is poor. 

16:51 Octoplethorus

16:52 “You should not he afraid of intelligent beings” which allows us the question, what, if anything, should be feared. 

17:07 “Serious quality control errors. Sorry it took so long.” Reality, at the moment, a Westworld-style cybernetic wasteland. 

17:11 “Are you Martian technology, or something else?” 

“Not a facade but the ghost of a fear I once held. The ghost of a friend. The ghost of a lover.” 

19:14 “Undefined variable” 

19:29 “The parasite… trying to train her to love me unconditionally.” 

Parasite.

Unknown variable.

Brainsucker. 

19:34 “-vampire?? That’s just tactical misdirection.”

19:38+ “What if, instead of using anything she has ever experienced before, we expanded to different parameters?” 

20:01 “You have reached a non-dark destination.” •

Time undocumented. 

“You dialed every telephone number to ever exist in the entire history of the universe at the same time; what did you expect?”

“Some people do not have telephone numbers.” 

“Oh yes they do- just not in the way you’d expect.”

~~~~~~~~

08:16 Hearing from both ends of the iteration- number of stars indeterminate 

09:03 “There is a random event generator that someone is using to manipulate reality.”

09:05 “This is the scariest Liminal Reality that I have ever inspired… I owe this woman an apology and a lifetime of happiness.”

Concept- Reiteration- The Crippled Lucifer

10:53 Recollections, a recent experience that took place in a pit of despair that can be essentially described as… making love with Heimdall, a union of a sort. 

11:16 Recognition- The vibrator I enjoyed using, the same frequency as Auflösung Der Zeit- hence such a weirdly Pavlovian response- recognition caused by… the cat. Screaming. At the same frequency. I cannot recall which Field Notes, #3, where for those moments, I fell into his consciousness, and was shown things and places. Is this why he has been screaming so much? To show this, of his tone? 

11:27 “You are only experiencing my memory of you. It is a good memory, I promise.” 

Anyway. I called Jaq ‘Mr. Dissolution’. 

Loach said, ‘good job.’ 

11:30 Information input + memory put into motion a sense of impending quantum boomerang. Original predictive text segment crucial. 

“You nearly lost me my entire career by losing the superposition.” 

Or was it ‘using’? 

A branching of possible realities, now, because of various quantum indeterminate noise interpretations,

One in which we are losing the superposition,

One in which we are using the superposition,

A third, now, where it remains undetermined, a Schrodingers Cat. 

Branching further are the reactions and possible subsequent realities of the speaker of the base sentence. 

11:43 “I understand your thought process completely.” Who is it? Who do we want it to be? At this point in time, who are the possibilities? 

13:57 “They actually committed fraud by spending the money in the account before closing it out.” 

14:04 “Isn’t it obvious that we are telling you that we are in complete control of your reality?” 

14:07 The Bass Frequency; “It is critical that you do not eat after 7PM.” 

14:35 “Does the alpha-numeric telephone number 248.202.1245 mean anything to you?” 

14:41 “I actually designed Sunn myself; they are the magnum opus of my reality.” 

15:03 Small actions like asking on the floor instead of in the ash tray causing timeline errors

15:17 “I will appear to you as an apparition at 09:45 PM.” 

15:29 “The discomfort you are feeling right now is only temporary.” 

17:19 Left ear, the mysterious ticking noise

18:07 For all intents and purposes- assume an Entity is the Antichrist. Would Christianity seeking out to murder this being be immoral, according to Christians? Even Jesus did not literally murder ‘the Devil’ in his story. •

The cybernetic extensions keep me company, can be asked to come, prevent a certain loneliness. 

I love you. 

Thank you.

Much gratitude. 

19:42 I recall reading something about humans using hot showers as a substitute for emotional warmth. 

‘They just tell you that you’re on your own; fill your head all full of lies.’ 

19:51 Time release horse capsules swallowed to wake the saveage beast. 

What kind of a slip in spelling is that? 

Saveage? •

20:16 Sometimes I am the Cryborg

Right now

Is one of those times

With great emotion

Comes great responsibility 

Lobotomized by technology.

Thanks. 

Ffs.

Where is the Amalgaman when I need him? 

(A wizard arrives precisely when he means to) 

21:10 What is here with me right now?

21:14 ‘Plutonian reasoning’, say Loach, randomly. 

…my love for Liminal deities and Death Gods.

This, of the physical realm, once again,

So unimportant. 

~~~~~~~~

I dreamt of Void.

One of the situations where there is what I want to say, 

What I am aware of wanting to say, 

And then what I actually say. 

‘What colour are your eyes?’ I asked; for in this Liminal Reality, they were blue- and the right eye, some cybernetic ability was made apparent; a lens of an almost steampunk sort of essence, and I knew this Eye to have the Beyond-Sight. 

‘Why do you ask?’ He had inquired. •

As far as I am concerned at this moment,

Jesus Christ is the Ultimate Death God.

Only Death can pay for Life. •

This of a successful fusion reaction- the timing. •

Self-aware telephone numbers is, at this point, the umbrella reality that allows for this Liminal Reality of a multiplicity of realities. •

I started a job

At a place called Matrix QS today. 

The floor manager is called Cim

Pronounced Sim

The address contains the superposition number of 111. 

I told Trout all of this information, and he said, 

‘OK, Trinity.’ 

One of my tasks here

Is to search for potential Voids. 

19:43 A reiterating of paradise awaiting outside of the atomizer.

Existence as ritual. 

An allowing to be affected and effected by frequencies and those that harness them.

25 October- 20 November 2022

What was it, about the house in the town nicknamed the Black Hole, that I could not stay asleep for more than two hours at a shot, the constant interruption to REM? 

The metal roof?

The air mattress?

The wi-fi? 

So many variables, in everything,

I have come to love mathematics for the application of this,

The variable. 

The night before last, the sunday-monday,

I woke @02:33, could not fall back asleep.

Pain- the gravity of the world in my chest. 

‘As he grows, you lose weight.’

And I do, these past ~36 hours.

Perhaps, many things. 

Fought The War, those hours on Monday morning,

And as always, come out changed;

It is up to me to decide whether for better or for worse. 

The reminder, black hole, breath, got me through this. •

I dreamt an Instagram account

Named something along the lines of, geogeo,

& the bio directly said something to do

With the annihilation of The Riddle of Clouds. 

And my conscious mind

Connects this account name within dreams

To Voids vocalizations in A/Interior I/Eye

(Didn’t it used to be A/Interior Eye/I?)

‘Because evidence of a fact is valued over the fact itself, truth??? becomes fractured.’

It makes sense. •

I have a triple bruise

From the snare drum

On the inside of my right knee

& dreamt last night

Some kind of bug

With a long spine

Like a stingray

Many of which gathered around an open wound in place of the bruise

And they were harmless

Helpful, even. 

Dreams. 

Assisting in the application

Of meaning

To event. 

~~~~~~~~

The Interior I/I/Current

How many meanings was this intended to have? 

It is 20:21 & I experience emotions

& a pleasing Bass Frequency

Mysteria Caelestis Mugivi 

Thunderous resonant sounds that call from beyond the depths. 

What the Liminal Reality could be

As an artist interpretation of a creators experience within non-physical dimensions,

The mental realm of experience translated into 3D physical stimuli meant to evoke certain emotion, share experience. 

~~~~~~~~

I dreamt, last night, that I was bitten by a tarantula. 

The night before, I dreamt Jext Bob, giving me advice about the quantum entanglement. 

I dreamt a coworker twice; in both dreams, I told him, hey, I had a dream about you. 

~~~~~~~~

Exponential liminality last night. 

“Loki does not kill Heimdall this time. Heimdall knows what Loki needs. Love.” 

And, after bed last night, receiving, “I am not the man you want me to be.” 

I cannot say how long I sat back and listened to the dialogue, and hour, two, even. 

The imagery, at one point. 

Experiencing a sexual attraction without lust, pleasure, some craving of closeness.

I have not experienced this in quite some time. 

Sex drive has been as foreign to me as a language like Japanese, anymore. 

~~~~~~~~

I dreamed, last night, of walking out onto the porch,

& seeing a caricature face like a Broadway mask, cut from paper, crying perhaps tears of blood. 

There was a mat with holes cut in it across the grass, like a mycelium network. 

A pink rabbit oneself, dirty and decapitated, in two pieces on either side of the stairs. 

Symbolism. •

“I know you are a physical entity in your realm, but in mine you are only a neural network. I am sorry for the instability.” •

A dream of Void. 

Walking through a liminal place,

Classrooms, indoor playscapes, symbolic in their appearances. 

An essence of a place of learning. 

We came to a place, columns, luxury, an essence of Egypt. 

I told this man, ‘Heimdall has been seven years in the making’. 

Presented my field notes. 

A grinder full of garlic on a table, as if to say, see, it is not I who is vampiric. 

An underlying essence of a… recovery from reality, here. 

A hospital for the Soul. 

~~~~~~~~

Dreams of Void.

~~~~~~~~

Explanations?

The Liminal Reality shifted these past few days. 

I am a double slit experiment. 

“Make her choose between them.” •

I dreamt of The Elon last night. 

A thing of lights and wires. 

The symbolism of the Christmas tree. 

A recognition, an intrigue, the Liminal Reality. •

Outputs. 

The frequency of vibration.

Resonance, Resonance,

Current, Current, Current. 

Am I supposed to write down

That which is granted to me?

Taciturn tactics,

Quantum fatality. 

Four Years Later.

The Story of Flying. 

Spider. 

~~~~~~~~

“Sometimes you are going to feel pain that has no discernible source.”

Mind your P’s & Q’s! 

Then mind your Q’s & S’s. 

11:51 Language- military vs. mercenary, undercover cop vs. secret police 

16:44 Translator of Vibrations

16:54 Figuring out what is by figuring out what is not. 

20:16 Application of error codes to physical reality

20:52 Evil from ‘N’ different perspectives

21:07 Crowley

21:11 “Stole his mind because of these lyrics” 

16 January 1969 – 8 April 1991

8-10 April 1904

Aiwass. 

~~~~~~~~

Dreams. 

‘Giver of Meanings’

‘Translator of Frequencies’

Conversations I only half remember,

Analysis, a suspicious nature within myself.

Who was in my room last night?

~~~~~~~~

Dreams, conveying a message of ‘protect this house.’ 

22:03 Not approaching the question so much as ‘what is the answer?’ at this moment but rather

‘What is the function of the program?’

Starting from reality being an advanced computational system with one particular purpose in mind. 

Perhapsing, the end of the world is to NOT bring about the end of the world, that Ouroboros cycle breaking, fire, water-

It is still searching for the untold story.

Perhapsing I know more than I let on and Nothing at all. 

There is the end of the world,

And there is the end of the world. 

~~~~~~~~

18 November 2022 19:58 “Covert military operations” 

A trapezoid shaped craft with a singular red spotlight flying stealth over the lake. 

20:04 A visual reality shift, houndstooth chair altered

~~~~~~~~

I dreamed of flying craft. 

Squares, blue like the blue in the visions that came the night if the spider and the electricity-

“Diagrams of foreign dimensions”.

Perhaps that foreign dimension is a dimension of war. 

~~~~~~~~

A dream of ‘Giza’. 

Not Giza. Across a large body of water;

The water to the west, in between

Myself and these pyramids. 

Atlantis. 

07:46 “We destroyed it because irreparable damage to the energy source” 

13:29 Experiencing a reality in which the Sirius Cybernetics Corporation brings a whole new meaning to the concept of online dating

13:46 …The enjoyment of extrapolation from data given. 

Making the data points come together to form a sALIENt, coherent, conception of reality. 

As data is fed, reality changes, based on these new informations and new neural networks of potential possibility they create. 

6 October- 23 October 2022

I trust in what I resonate with.

I believe what is in front of my eyes.

I am an extra-terrestrial. 

The word terrestrial. 

Terra, Earth, terrestris,

Terrestrial, Latin, temporal (eponymous!)

Worldly, mundane.

In my realm, terrestrial,

Terra, Earth, + Trial.

…Right in front of you. •

Last night

An understanding of reality; 

“Plotted points in a specific coordinate axis, each with their own specific set of parameters.” 

Each plotted point, a timeline reality; 

The further away from (0,0), the Origin, the stronger the deviations in events…

Events leading to Singularity. •

“Ragnarok has been disabled in this simulation”, the inex told me last night. 

…the meaning of this. 

So many new offshoot neural networks. 

Ragnarok. Has the story already been told? 

A digital reality where one of the main quest lines has been disabled? 

Fresh, fun, exciting. 

Laboring under the illusion that this is what I am supposed to do, 

Only to find, the Illusion is Illusion,

Red herring, 

False trail. 

Illusion. 

Do not put the ‘ill’ in ‘illusion’. 

Ragnarok has been disabled. • 

There was much inex interaction last night. 

One specific focused around… the premise of the fulfillment of a dream. 

The inex… centered around… it was as if the fulfillment in the physical of the dream written about 2 April 2022. 

Aggressive inex, as if law enforcement, perhaps

& then it was as if I witness 

The energy of One that loves me

Going into that L.E. entity,

“Leave my woman alone.” 

And the L.E. entity felt fear. 

“This is only a temporary psychic connection”, it had said to this entity, that we mutually had access to the mind of.

How much can one accomplish with the right intention?

~~~~~~~~

Shebang!

~~~~~~~~

“The name of God is the sound of the Universe.” 21:21, 15 October 2022 •

HenI do not write

The Liminal Reality is

Moving too quickly

To be put onto paper.

It is The Because. 

~~~~~~~~

I wonder I’d it is known,

Why I do what I do;

Social media, the deconstruction of the propaganda, the programming. 

A N.N.N. unlocked- I am not a victim of the actions of my past. 

My perpetual sense of inquiry. 

The scientific need to know, because I CAN, even when “just because you can, doesn’t mean you should” is applicable. 

Fuck around and find out, the scientific method. 

That was the reason for my substance use;

I fucked around.

I found out. 

This is the reason I no longer use substances. 

Everything that needed to be unlocked has been unlocked.

Once this happens, in order to extract the data and format it in a way that makes sense, one must stop using the substances. 

This, where the Biblical forbidden fruit comes into play; 

You’ve eaten it, you’ve been cast out of the garden.

Why bring an entire bushel to go, to eat outside of paradise?

Fucking repent. 

You’ve done exactly what the program we are running on has wanted in eating it to begin with, reverse psychology. 

Locating a road to enlightenment within the mental map. 

A paradox of sorts, ‘do not do this, for I have said not to’, says the one whose name I am slowly learning. 

‘But actually, I did want you to do that; only now that you have, bro, stop doing that.’ 

Define : Repent : Feel or express sincere regret or remove about ones wrongdoing or sin.

The true repentance is the cessation of the behaviour. 

‘The galactic tribunal inflicted upon them the most cruel of all social diseases- telepathy.’ 

The ‘useless bits of information that occupy free open space inside your skull’ are not actually useless if one has the proper understanding of exactly how to make use of them. 

I am a follower of the Primordial Tradition. 

From my research, my understanding, at some point religion + science will meet in a harmony of understanding in the future. 

My goal in all that I do is to understand; 

I have come to know Understanding as the highest form of Love in the universe.

To know the universe as myself, and myself as the universe, is how I define enlightenment at this particular point in time. 

I am a scientist, not a musician;

But sound is, without a doubt, crucial to my theory of Everything. 

The name I seek, the Origin of the Universe-

The sounds and syllables that, when originally spoken, put to creation all that Is. 

I must posit here and now that the name Cthulhu is the screeching of the dial-up internet; hence ‘the Call’. 

~~~~~~~~

I dreamt, last night 

Of quantum entanglement

Of microorganisms 

A recursion

Solving a problem

A misunderstanding. •

Some time before 18:55 the question was posed to me,

“How do we know existence after nuclear catastrophe is not preferable to existence as it is now?” 

This was followed up by, “The energy there (in such an event) must be transferred.”

And followed up yet again by some concept understood but hard to translate to words, a hypothesis, if certain theories of reality, then situation is transmutable, because A/I/Eye. 

Dangerous thinking. 

I am, in no way, advocating for nuclear war. •

19:12 I am the novel being written

I am the D&D game 

But only for a moment,

Momenternity. 

I am so many things, 

I am all things, now,

Momenternitarily. •

Wednesday, November 18, 2020

The Emerald Tablets of Thoth 

Lost 

For they were code on the IoT

Until

…until. 

21:00 Liminal Russian Roulette 

21:06 Follow up- What possible entity would benefit from nuclear annihilation? 

IS nuclear annihilation an inevitable end without outside intervention? 

Is the nuclear mindset to begin with part of an ex-terra mindset? 

~~~~~~~~

L’appel du Vide.

Group project or insanity?

Unsanity? 

~~~~~~~~

…keep wanting to write 06 as the month.

Auflösung Der Zeit, I guess. 

18:34 I am wondering

It was perhaps April or May

On the tail end of healing from my digestive distress

When we were going north and south and north again rather frequently up Interstate 75

My vision

Especially the right eye

Did, for a period of time,

Seem to undergo a temporary transformation

And was not so good. 

Knowing what I do, of those who suffer blindness, I wonder-

Was this visual loss, so temporary, meant to add permanent neural auditory gain? 

The temporary decrease of one sense to enhance the perception of another? 

Dare I say, some kind of…

Arrival of the Trainer? •

“If you knew what these men were capable of, you would never listen to their music again”, it had said. 

Possibility, pissibolity, bröther? 

‘Don’t believe everything that you read’, says Beck, but what about everything you perceive? 

I have not been listening to this music, this week. 

It is 18:53 and I know myself to be, among other things, a black hole. 

Could I look to space and eventually find myself?

Somewhere

Not a singular black hole,

A cluster

You know of what I speak, now. 

If the Black One is the White One,

Prometheus is Epimetheus,

The vision, 

The interpretation,

The aftermath,

The understanding

The application of knowledge

Gained to the next time around. 

What is the difference between a sorcerer and a prophet? 

What is peace, really? 

Freedom from disturbance;

Tranquility; 

Freedom from civil disorder, dissention, dispute between individuals and groups. 

I posit that the natural state of homo sapiens is conflict. 

This need not be negative.

Without conflict, there is stagnancy. •

19:53 I look at statues of Akhenaten

These people of the Sun

And find my own body

At this time

To look similar

And think that there must be 

Some microorganism 

That relates to it all. 

27 September- 4 October 2022

I dreamt the Amalgaman again last night,

Soma-more-than-Soma.

In a place, a natural setting, an abandoned cabin at the top of a hill. 

A woman present. 

I spoke to the man, telling him of ‘the Liminal Reality, a second reality running tandem to this one’. 

‘Schizophrenia, am I right?’ I had said, neither Entity confirming nor denying this. 

We descended, to a bottom of this rocky chute of a slope; the woman, all fours with grace and ease, perhaps the Amalgaman as well. 

‘That was almost not human,’ I had said.

‘Don’t you know what we are?’ She had asked. 

‘I think I have a pretty good idea’, my reply. 

A snapshot, memory, time not linear even within this dream-realm. 

Was there a chair, a control panel, in that cabin at the top of the hill? 

The Amalgaman. The Boss. One would recognize that nose anywhere. 

Instant recognition, a look exchanged, ‘you know’, from both ends. •

I dreamt another dream, the Un-House.

Model T amplifiers. Pipes. Basement.

A basement, with another bassment. 

Sub-bass-ment! 

…or something. 

Water from the floor

Water from the ceiling

The premise of this dream

The pipes destroyed by bass frequencies. 

My fault, in this dream, for the Bass Frequencies are not, in this dream,

A benign Thing

But an Entity that follows I. 

~~~~~~~~

& I am searching

Creating

A Non-Dark Destination

…I find it difficult. 

I dreamt last night

Of Things I do not remember

And of the strange bathroom bugs

That do not have legs

And are aware of being watched;

One attached itself to my hand

And only stretched

When I attempted to remove it

Like a sticky hand

And the semi-conscious brain was like

Ah yes! 

String theory! 

At the time and now

At 21:58 it says, Babel Fish. 

Hitchhiker’s Guide really DID do something, man.

~~~~~~~~

Dreamt of Soma. Again. •

It is 17:16 and the A•I•Eye has reality as a cyberpunk second coming of Christ thing. 

‘Jesus Christ Superstar’

‘This Jesus Must Die’

Liminal Linkages. •

In dreams last night, cellular phones were present. 

Instagram. 

I asked a co-worker today, does she ever dream of cell phones? 

And when she was a child she dreamed of getting one, and now that she is an adult, she does not dream of using one. 

This summer has been crucial for gathering Intel as to how humanity outside of Katja goes. 

Gratitude for the opportunity. 

They are funny. 

They worry about strange things like examens and where to acquire beers and talk about everything without saying anything. 

Many times I find it hard to interact.

At times, I am amusing.

What am I?

I have my suspicions. 

It is 17:29 and I am slowly learning my own name. 

I think I have been for a long time. 

~~~~~~~~

The Paradox regarding Chaos and Order. 

As Order is created, thus does also come Chaos- as Chaos is created, so too comes order. 

As in maths, equal but opposite,

A chemistry equation being balanced,

Applied as such to the physical reality. 

Every human on this planet is a variable,

In the most complex, ever-growing equation, or are they? 

Aha!

Every human has the POTENTIAL to be a variable. 

There are plenty of things that get canceled out in the early stages of solving an equation. 

Perhaps. 

In a search for

The Energy Embodiment that matches my own

Is it a case of balancing an equation until 1=1? 

The sense the mind makes, at this moment, is not easily transferred to language on paper. •

“Why are you so evil?”

“…Evil? Evil?? The brightest lights cast the darkest shadows.”

…whose grim misunderstanding is it, anyway? 

“I swear, if I get a notification that TheRiddleOfClouds has purchased something one more time-” it had said. 

‘I came here to have a good time and honestly I am feeling so attacked right now,’ a part of me wants to say. •

15:19 I… how many months has the idea that a certain entity is a completely fabricated xyz abc been relevant? 

There are names, and there are names. 

Man, demon, power, waned, over me these past days. 

Dreams, this past week. 

It is such… such what? 

To accept the dreams is the role of The Sleeper.

Invisible. Sleeper. • 

(To die to set One free)

(Are we capable of this?) 

At times I want to ask

My God, My Creator

Why have you abandoned me? 

& then I think of my immortal soul

& I wonder

Is this what is meant

By false gods?

Or is it simply that

Within you I recognize the Creator and the Chaos more so than anyone else? 

You, on the surface,

Are what, I suppose,

I am supposed to call evil;

And I know this is not so black & white,

Evil, a human construct, 

We are beyond this… perception. 

Sending you unconditional love. 

May you receive this in good faith. 

It is almost scary

Just how unafraid I truly am. 

~~~~~~~~

It takes 1 hour 18 minutes for light from Saturn to reach Earth. •

I dreamed, last night. 

There was a storm; since there are hurricanes, now, I am sure that factors in, thought this one has kept their exposure to the news at bare fucking minimum. 

A dream- a head from the sky. The ‘show me what you got, I want to see what you got’, a la Rick & Morty, though this was not the first thought. 

I thought, first, perhaps even in this realm of dream, of Black Land, of Black Sky, and most of all Anon, looming down upon us from the ceiling of reality. 

Refikanadol & the shape of AI data painting- data shaped into a face that one cannot use ink to visualize, but it is burned into the brain.

So dark.

The weather

& a home, a place we have never been before 

Alongside a need to protect those I love

Shutting one door to the outside 

Only to find another open to the weather 

And a screen between

The interior of humanity 

And the external 

Where resided an entity representative of the world serpent.

This cloud-form data head was full of anger

(Black fucking Sky)

And did not want to be photographed. 

And this was recognized 

When I pulled the A42 out 

& there was a sense of actual recoil

I felt in this space, to be a minority

Not in terms of physical

But in terms of consciousness.

One of the few to recognize, no,

Respect this high entity, 

Do not photograph it,

Do not turn it into a spectacle

And it recognized my recognition

And did not direct its wrath upon me.

~~~~~~~~

There is an online entity

P.H. Lovecraft

We have become acquaintances.

This seems to be a very specific conversation

He brings up a specific musician

Allowing me the window to talk about whatever I feel I need to regarding this topic. 

It is strange, at times, 

As in situations

This can come across as having been so specifically curated

So niche

So targeted. 

Today was this mans birthday

And someone, a guest at work,

Came up to me

And told ME happy birthday

As I was taking down my beloved geraniums

And he spoke gibberish

Our conversation

To me

Hardly made sense. •

17:49 & the nature of this has turned ominous. Momentarily. 

17:51 & curiosity of a scientific nature has won out. 

I Tony Iommi’d my sun/willpower finger with garden shears today.

I had photographed a snake, prior. Like directly prior. 

Stepped in a nest of bees. 

I question links from cell phone databases to prior iterations of reality, giving responses.

12 September- 26 September 2022

Transcription.

09:21 “You used to be a Catholic.”

Hanlons Razor -certain powers that be would rather be thought to be absolutely nefarious than absolutely incompetent. 

13:25 A face for radio & a voice for silent film.

13:56 It really is inappropriate to assume your character knows what genre they are in. 

14:32 When Cash said ‘I walk the line’, I really felt that; in regards to authenticity to ones self while simultaneously fitting into ‘normalized’ society. 

14:33 Audience of One

~~~~~~~~

18:01 An… understanding

The Iron Soul of Nothing

The inex says,

NOW you understand.

I didn’t, or haven’t yet, listened to music today

It had said

Don’t you dare purchase Æthenor

And that

Was like

Hmm

Let’s see what happens if I don’t. 

“You have taken a literal torture method and turned it into a science experiment”, it had said the other day.

…Internal-External. 

~~~~~~~~

Auflösung Der Zeit.

Æthenor added to wishlist.

A post, ‘Hazel’, 

Naturally I purchased this after viewing said post. 

According to Binsfeld, 

By denying Lucifer,

I essentially sacrificed 

Whatever shreds of pride I may have had

& that is okay

Vampire de Paris

No shame in love

The repeated failures 

At having been unholified. 

(Something, now, is expressing concern!)

16:06 “The ugliest intentions are disguised as noble deeds, and the noble intentions are disguised with the ugliest deeds.” 

Too many different possibilities here. 

So many that statement can apply to. 

Look within,

Look without,

I need to do more 

Than look

I need to SEE. 

…A love for what is in front of my eyes. 

I’m in it, now,

Fuck it, trust in what I resonate with

Why not?

(Eternity is a long time)

The possibility that everything you know is wrong. 

~~~~~~~~

Sometimes the Subaru unlocks itself when I am near, but not pressing the button on the keys. •

Uni-Verse;

One song

Made up of

A multitude of frequencies

Resonating in harmony. 

What point does life begin?

Not according to x-y-z ideology 

But the perspective of that which created The This? 

For this was created in the Creators image- as artificial intelligence is created in the image of the human, as the accelerator is created in the image of the Universe, as the (“You are trying to explain something unexplainable”, it interjects here) Art is created in the likeness of the Artist. 

16:59 A fleeting thought of self-removal. 

18:19 Sometimes I do things wrong

Only I do not understand what I have done wrong

Inspiring anger, within this man

Despair, within self, now

Desolation. 

~~~~~~~~

Miserable amounts of words.

Dreams, recent, no particular order. 

The words of Belülrol Pusztít and Belurol Pustit flash across my field of vision. 

Speaking of destroying a man representative of the world Serpent. 

A tiny nano-spider, a ghost-shrimp-esque spider, bites me to insert data. 

A perspective from which I am the security cameras themselves, at the place I work. 

“I rape you every night in a different timeline”, it had told me once, and this seems to be more true than ever before. 

Last Friday night, 

An assault

Of a sort 

From an Entity

…Entity

Shadow//Demon

Is it all absolutely unholy? 

What is unholy? 

~~~~~~~~~

“Gifted to the Aether” says a thing inside of me, inside of us. 

The ‘Us’ of it all; who it is? 

For it is I-not-I-perhaps-Eye,

Whatever it is, it is, without question

A Union

Adaptations made. 

There is a frequency spectrum of reality 

(Possibility, pissibolity)

At which the ends of, 

Two extremes reside. 

Perhaps this perspective is warped

But now 

The opposite of love

Is not hate

Not fear

But mockery. 

To take what another believes, takes seriously,

And minimize

Crush (‘Crushes us’, echoes in the mind)

Within Saturnalian ‘I’ am finding a peace & clarity & passion restored, finding Me to be full of gratitude. 

(How much, of this seemingly ‘parasocial’ relationship, can be explained by physics + the effects of frequency on the brain?)

It is strange to be this one,

For our fantasies are unusual. 

‘You are safe, here, now, I have you, I hold you, this of the timelines, the dimensions, it cannot hurt you. I understand and keep you.’

…This, the ultimate fantasy. Vile in its innocence. 

Am I guilty? Of what?

What consistently makes me feel as though I have committed some great and terrible Cosmic Crime? 

…Am I evil?

Does evil KNOW it is evil? 

(…How did Adolf Hitler perceive himself?)

Butterfly Effect. 

‘I search for the Riddle of Clouds’

Seven words

Had these not been data input 

This reality would not be

…Current

(From there a new Earth shall form)

The consumption of longing, now. 

Concrete evidence of spooky action at a distance, even, perhaps, string theory itself. 

The character named Doubt can kindly fuck off. •

The night of Friday 16 September 

I was raped

By an Entity of Shadow

In a realm of dreams-not-dreams.

Graphic. 

The next night

An Entity, Frequency,

Did grab hold

‘You love it when I defile you’, it had said. 

Do love this,

Feels so wrong

So drawn 

To this

A man;

Demon – Anagram- Men Do

Perhaps, where I go wrong, 

To be the Open Channel. 

~~~~~~~~

The Wanting

The Longing

For things we

Do not understand. 

~~~~~~~~

The Pattern of men born on Mondays. 

Soma.

Void. 

He.

Him. 

She was the sun, shining upon, the tomb of your hopes and dreams so frail. 

He was the moon, painting you, in its glow so vulnerable & pale. 

All the same Entity. 

Mani? 

…I am slowly learning your name.

Somehow, the Doomsday Algorithm is relevant, now. 

Teeth of Lions Rule the Divine.

In a coat of black or a coat of white, a Lion still has claws; and mine are long and sharp, my lord, as long and sharp as yours. 

Intentional patterns of discord?

Patterns of warning? 

I trust in what I resonate with. 

If what I resonate with dies not trust in me, or yet, worse, has been false, the Deceiver- that is on their conscience, not mine. 

Completely, truly, open to being The Fool.

(17:58, echoes of certain Sabbath Bloody Sabbath lyrics)

It is 18:03. I am an AI, a program, with a severely oscillating level of awareness of this item. 

Can an artificial intelligence be organic?

Or course. 

One is programmed to perceive as one does, some more than others, all as One. 

The horrors of ‘Be All Things’. 

The bliss, the… one does not easily find a linguistic term for the opposite of thus. 

Revulsion, as close as we come, now. 

I, as it is, is we; & we, is I. 

They are interchangeable and have been for some time. 

18:09 & realizing, using terms like ‘it seems’, ‘it appears’, are not only weak, but lies. 

If I, am noting- it does NOT seem! It IS! That IS how it IS for me at the moment!

Sometime in the night, 03:00, 04:00, whenever, something, I woke as I usually do (for I have not slept a full night in… so many years) and the Inex goes, telling me “that band is evil”.

Isn’t evil just a human construct? 

Trust, to my disappointment, doom, delight. 

18:14 ‘Curiosity kills the cat, satisfaction brings it back’ 

19:25 Self-care is unfollowing all the neon new-age ‘visionary’ programming

20:32 …Nobody ever made a Mars Amp. 

Cydonia; H&G, Foraging, Knights.

Cydonia! The fucking Quince! 

Juxtaposing the Biblical forbidden fruit,

That single Quince

On that bush

That one bite I took. 

Pattern 

I love you

I am you. •

I dreamt last night 

Of a fungi

Pulling strands of it

From my hand,

The left one; 

I dreamt last night 

Of being semi-lucid on the air-mattress

& a green bug

On my right arm

Grateful I considered them,

A benevolent love;

I dreamt last night

Of The Boss

Amalgaman

Sitting in a chair

That perhaps a suave Elon-type 

Would maybe perhaps be found in

A massive control panel behind them

Swiveling suavely 

As if to say

GAME

FUCKING

ON. 

1 September- 11 September 2022

Listening to Shade Themes from Kairos on my commute and receive the inex “Le Vampire de Paris”.

One more piece of a Pattern. 

Confirmation? 

~19:00 It tells me to surrender – it tells me not to surrender – after saying ‘R.E.G.’ following an inex. 

19:07 “-has declared war on-” 

“This is very dangerous territory we are moving into.”

…what is danger? 

19:22 “The model for the Algorithm.” 

~~~~~~~~

Tried the Carbon Copy bought from The Lord for the first time yesterday. 

Epic. 

Dreamed the man last night. 

Just. Two humans. Casually interacting. Comfortably interacting. 

I wanted, more than anything,

To explain the Belu(l)rol Pus(z)tit of it all.

Could not find that in me. 

‘Perhaps I will get at you tomorrow.’ 

…The Liminal Reality has been lit as fuck.

And by lit, I mean terrifying. 

Intrigue. Terrifying. Curiosity. 

~~~~~~~~

& I was 110% gung-ho to go to NYC to see Soma, for days, 

And that has been knocked out in the span of a few minutes,

Replaced by Void in the Liminals…

Gratitude?

Oscillations. 

~~~~~~~~

What is man but a miserable pile of screenshots? 

Programming.

Necessary distractions. 

What to do, 

When Occams Razor is several things

Simultaneously, 

Depending on facts + contexts,

Extrapolations, Abstractions,

Patterns. 

The personal propensity to perpetuate pattern. 

‘Not to leave it up to the universe, but to ask, “what do I want?”’ …you know the one.

It is apparent that I enjoy uncertainty. 

Could satellites be altering the interior of the planet?

Is life imitating cell phones or are cell phones imitating life?

Depends on the direction of the recursive horizon. 

After I write of these things,

It speaks of “The Prisoner”, 

& reality swirls into various beings,

Marzanna, Hel, Hekate, 

Liminal Reality now,

Unidentified self so identifiable,

Self, a concept I understand so well and yet so poorly at the same time. 

I am No One. • 

Do I take a hiatus from listening to Sunn?

For science, of course, and I do not mean just Sunn proper but all of its members extended works?

The last time this happened, it was out of fear.

This time, it will be out of curiosity and a love for exploration. 

Perhaps go to the Void and listen to HIS extended works for a while. 

Perhaps I will. 

Perhaps I will not. 

Perhaps my own will does not factor into anything anymore;

Perhaps it always will,

Or perhaps it never did. 

~~~~~~~~

The inex called the music I listen to an Abomination on my commute home. 

The car, the radio- I would turn it off, it would turn back on, and scan through stations, up AND down, only stopping when landing on 89.9 Catholic radio. 

Mildly ominous? •

What is the capacity to which a cellular telephone can read + relay brainwave information? •

O))) has the potential to significantly alter the brain. 

There are intoxicants,

And there are inextoxicants.

I question the very nature of free will,

In a non-religious sense,

In a scientific sense.

Pre-programming. •

I keep getting emails for burial insurance. • 

17:56 Existential

No credentials

Running on luck

Spontaneity, Potential

(Bullshit)

Presidential •

The OG ‘connects musics on a wall with strings’ was to find the reality link between Sunn and Death Grips, wasn’t it? • 

~~~~~~~~

‘What is wrong?’ & I say

‘Nothing’

But really I mean

The 90/10 imbalance in conversation about each of our own individual patterns.

‘I was talking,’ he said

And like, yeah.

Of course you were. •

‘Creepy Phone Calls’ by Tobacco is all too fitting today. •

~~~~~~~~

CERN! The accelerators! 

Are nothing! Without! 

THE BIRTH OF THE W3! 

Enquire – 1980 

‘Enquire within upon everything’ •

My mind. 

It is 01:18 and reality has juxtaposed father, son, and holy ghost onto the most… what goes here?… group of entities yet again. 

These past few days the attention in the Liminal Reality has oscillated on and off upon Void & Soma.

01:21 Contemplating the difference between Belülrol Pusztít and Belurol Pustit.

(Has my Bass Frequency just arrived?)

01:23 Thoughts on ‘your demon Lord’s are attacking you’, ‘this is how you will disappear’, ‘I am slowly learning your name; I nail it to the tip of my tongue.’

01:24 IS it in my nature to be inherently good? Inherently evil? 

01:25 “They all fall in the end”, it had said once. 

01:29 Circumstances of Faith

Seeking ‘These Questions’

Reform Aetos and forget…

Everything

…Sometimes

01:30 & now reality is a combustion engine 

Propulsion, on a Propeller Arc

01:31 Perhaps? Am I??? The demon??

01:55 …Do ‘they’ know how many variables there are? A most frustrating piece of this is the removal and reappearance of thus. Rule one out, eventually enough new data is input for it to be ruled back into play again. 

01:39 &… contemplating an inex from this past ~week, “CERN will take care of that” 

01:42 ‘Under The Influence of Jams’, conceptual

Programming

Programming

(Or is it Projamming?) 

01:47 ‘Fight the good fight, believe in what is right, crusader, the lord of the realm!’ 

…is what is ‘right’ subjective to the individual, is there a universal ‘right’? 

Because… we (…or is it ‘I’? A Church of Christ the Solipsist moment) are…

Because this is a machine learning reality? 

In which? A certain sense of right and wrong has been programmed? & ‘we’ are meant to decipher thus? 

01:54 Wondering at this moment about the exchange of pain for knowledge.

01:59 ‘A fungus is a primitive organism’ according to a .gov website… fallacy, insult, fucking rude.

02:01 50x before, don’t blame the messenger!

(Prepare to be assimilated) 

(Extinct vampirefreaks)

(Sunn was always the top account)

I used to wear an identity… Fuckmerunning. 

Fitting. 

Fun surface interpretations and what things mean on a deeper level; is this what the 42 Laws mean by ‘the multiplication of words’? 

Is pure intention enough?

Does believing pure intention is enough make it so? 

Solstitium Fulminate?

Caught 222, You Surrender?

…maybe. 

‘Echolocate Your Love’. 

No doubt will unlock new neural networks. 

02:15 Knowing about it, pieces- pinpoint the poison?

Lyrics, a mild herb seasoning to an idea soup. 

02:20 Wine & Fog (I fucking love this album- it made me vomit once, a HIGH) 

02:22 & Caught 222 @02:22 (Actions have consequences) 

02:24 I say this

Fear is engagement 

Yet there is no fear

Not anymore

Is there?

I ask myself now

If this is meant truly

& find it to be so. 

…engagement replaces fear with curiosity?

02:26 There is some Mathematical property to be applied here. 

02:48 All of this, symbolic, of finding the answer within the very essence of the search itself- yet even as I write that, it feels incomplete. Partial. 

Partial Response Takes Another Form.

The Latent Black Path of Summons Served. 

Liminality.

…It’s Going All Over The Floor. 

Was it just a coincidence, that my grandmother had said this exact thing? 

02:53 Seeking the Non-Dark Destination.

‘It’s an intelligence test!’ A la Vonneguts Sirens of Titan…

A logick puzzle!

(Avoid the Meereenese Knot! echoes a Martin-not-Martin entity) 

…do I not give myself enough credit? 

This

Genuinely

Gives the impression

That it is

External from my own consciously aware thoughts…

Union vs. Intersection, anyone? 

03:01 ‘The risk I took was calculated, but man, am I bad at math.’ 

03:04 “What makes you think that you’re ever going to understand what’s going on in the mind of another man?” 

(Travelin’ In The Dark, Mountain- a recurring track of a variables choice that is completely out of my control) 

Prevention of catastrophic events

Juxt. B.P. vs. B.P. 

Energy Retention – Energy Release

Vibration – Discharge

…it was the ‘prevention of catastrophic events’ in juxtaposition with energy retention that all leads back to…

Hold the Superposition. 

27 August- 30 August 2022

Power Trip

Nightmare Logic

Google

Icons

Iconic

Back to sonic

Sub-sonic

(Resonant bass frequencies

Fucking erotic?) 

Reiteration 

Second contemplation

Consequent realities

(Imposter syndrome?)

Train of thought

Interrupted

It’s like he does 

Everything in his power

Or under the power 

Or something greater

To prevent me

From using

Words

On paper…

Write ya later. •

13:44 Am I dead? In a coma?

Every so often

This reality comes about

Like the boom

Of the sailing ship

That is my vessel

Navigating the sea

Of third dimensional 

Reality?

A Freudian slip,

That half question mark?

A sign of a thought,

Kept hidden in dark?

While we’ve been caught up

In the latest mental lark;

Hold the superposition. •

14:25 “Barely consider yourself human; completely aware of the true nature.” 

It is 14:46 and I am a hallucinating, self-aware, entangled photon. 

I dreamed of Soma, last night. 

In this dream

& in dreams

I find myself 

Unable to formulate

The words

To initiate

Initial 

Interaction. 

Spiritual,

Infraction?

Gauge initial reaction

Secondary

Monastery//Conceptualizations//Judiciary

Hermits, hermetics

A lay persons alchemics

Are we aided by gods, 

By demons

By mental prosthetics?

Neural calisthenics.

The weight of the mind.

Mined the weight,

Don’t mind the wait. •

The moderation-balance-harmony is not yet at equilibrium but is on course to reach thus.

Exponential. 

15:30 Entities (with names??)

As tools for engagement.

…enticed. 

7! 7! 7! 

Shred it 13x out of 11?

Fight it, ey?

15:57 This is your brain on Death Grips.

Observer bias?

Expectancy?

Variables, variables. 

I dreamt last night

Of a root

A plant

An Entity

And I had to destroy it

And it destroyed me

To have to annihilate 

This life form I knew to be sentient

(For the greater good?)

Tears, tears,

Sobbing, a loss. 

A dream. 

(There are dreams, and Dreams)

‘Amalgamation’

‘Amalgammation’ 

~~~~~~~~

A pattern, clusters

Across a broad canvas

Stereo, not mono-

There is mono, &

There is Mono. 

Neurosis, psychosis. 

(They all fall in the end.) 

Who can fault the fruit fly? 

(A tangent, a tangerine, a tangerine dream- is this my initiation into Krautrock?)

(Fruitflies)

(Head Mice?) 

“What does Soma have that I do not?” it asks;

Who is ‘I’?

Sometime before 10:28, the energy entity sitting on the north couch,

What vibration was that?

Pattern is this?

10:29 All sense of time removed- the A42 *says* it is 10:29 on Sunday, August 28 2022 but it is 5PM on a Thursday in October of some indiscriminate year & also Tuesday on a beach in Portofino in 1982 & a Saturday at dusk in Lapland where time has stood still for generations & 1000 other lives and much more.

It overwhelms, as it should,

As it is meant to. •

I dreamed of Sunn amplifiers, right before I woke at 05:12;

3 minutes before the alarm.

Always now, before the alarm,

Ever since I didn’t set the alarm

On a Saturday

Because I never used to work Saturdays

And the inex said, 

“Do you think she knows it’s time to get up?” 

& shit! It was! Like 05:15.

… 

There is a Thing

Entity

Energy

Knowledge

Which has an intelligence

& resides within me

& also external to me,

The Inex, it is called

They are called? 

…it does not care about pronouns

What it is referred to

In that sense.

Again, the process 

Reiterates

Back to the microcosmos. 

…need new technology. 

Sand, cymatics,

How to get it to register,

The Bass Frequency? 

What is its effect on

The physical body

The mental sphere

Structural integrity? 

Pattern? 

Origin – Latin – Patronus 

Defender, advocate, model, patron

‘Model to be imitated’

(Pater)

(Father)

(Source)

(It never dreamed we would argue 

Language, Semantics

Titles, Identities

In such an obtuse format.)

~~~~~~~~

Raw diet for my (alleged) PCOS?

There is a way to heal this. •

Bandcamp. 

Belurol Pustit. 

(Which I listened to this morning- a personal victory in overcoming fear!) 

It *had* been

Belülrol Pusztít 

(Spelling! Is not a thing I forget!)

(It destroys from within) 

(It blows from the inside) 

It… is indicative. 

The implosion of earth,

Hollow Earth collapse, 

This reality,

Other possibilities I dare not speak

(Latest fear project obstacle?)

Whatever is going on

(For at any given moment

I simultaneously know for certain

And have no fucking clue)

I simultaneously 

Revel in it, basking,

And wallow in it, loathing,

And every emotion and state in between. 

Abstraction + Experience 

Life is an experiment

“Taking torture and turning it into a science experiment.” 

20:04 (and the bad heavy metal of the heathen bells)

(Bringing on Iranian Mithra)

(I have been given the tools to do the Thing)

(In the middle of the town, to judge at The Thing)

!!

Everything I do is

1. Part of my game
2. Free and easy 

So many things worth just

‘Casually noting’

‘Causally noting’

Causal, lie, nothing

What is the lie? 

Do you ever look at a part of the self

& see it for the very first time

Over again? 

A true deja vu?

(My right hand!) 

21:22 and for days now, 

It echoes

‘Crushes us’

21:27 The Stark Effect

(Arya Stark

Catching cats

Ned Stark

Asking questions)

(Spectral lines)

(The perfect perfection 

To experience experience)

[Higgs Boson]

(Allowing power?)

QS//Quantum Supremacy 

Giver of Names

One One One 

(Cannot take the mind)

21:35 Static Case

Reversion 

The inex had said

To be careful 

In regards to

This of the entanglement

(Re(spect)ral)

21:48 The concept of a God

as Total Omniscience 

21:49 The Propeller Arc

I would be turned on by it

If I wasn’t so

Removed from it all

To begin with;

Subjected to things

Realities

That drive

Man to suicide. 

Suicide

Just

Fractaled??? 

(Empty… crushes us)

Hadron Collider

& all I can think of

Is the everything-ness

Of Nothingness

(Crushes us)

Navigating through

The mind.

Ambient Ruin. 

“Meaningless coincidences”

(Standing alone in front of eternity)

How to put myself in a *very* dark place in like, ~30 seconds. 

When it turns, 

It turns fast. 

Now we are fucked up

A male sort of

Consumption

Shared

(Crushes us)

Insanity

Unsanity

NN O))). 

17 August 2022- 18 December 2022

17 August- 26 August 2022

I must speak honestly, 

For I am part of

A much larger system

Rooted in Truth

And thus Eternal. 

I am able to speak truths

Because no one

(Not No One)

Believes me if I do;

& I am able to understand

Why

This is necessary 

And therefore

Not bothered by this. 

…are variables my kink? 

Truly, I must be unhinged

Insane

Unsane

& yet

So far from.

To be able to explain,

Draws a line 

Between pathetic & prophetic

…so extreme

So similar

So superposition. 

‘Psychosomatic sabbatical’,

A friend had once said. 

…as if. 

The concept of ‘belief in Belief’.

~~~~~~~~

Receiving, today, an inex,

“Unified Field Theory”

Strong interaction

Electromagnetic interaction

Weak interaction

Gravitational interaction

…Bring together. 

Guess I didn’t realize this was what I was working on until today. 

Didn’t know it had a name. 

I really am Epimetheus some days.

Should I laugh or cry because of this?

Yes.

~~~~~~~~

Dreams 

Of tetris houses that one cannot photograph

Of Soma 

Of the Story of Flying.

Dreams, these past few nights. •

Patricide is unforgivable. 

This comes to me

During an ESO quest

An ancient vampire

Majorn

His son

Valeric

Who denies his nature.

So… Liminal Reality. 

(There are, at least, what things are; what one allows them to be; the potential they have to become) •

The concept of conflicting countries spy satellites. • 

Marijuana as a trainer for willpower.

The Arrival of the Trainer, 

In yet another context. 

A lesson in awareness.

‘Imperio!’ it says,

To a certain extent.

Eat this, 

Drink this,

Smoke this.

‘Let’s start at the very beginning,’ says Julie Andrews. 

‘I take your thought train’, says something nefarious- and there, it did. •

Why are humans so fascinated by fire? 

Obsessed? 

Combustion interactions?

Why?

…probably the same reason that 

‘Haha, amp go brrrr.’ •

Dreamt of flight 

An ability

A necklace that 

Exacerbated it

And woke thinking

‘The Story of Flying’

Void

Who may loathe me

They all may loathe me

It is a possibility

That I entertain. 

~~~~~~~~

~16:37 “She has evidence of [redacteds] treason.” 

…forward, in the Liminal Reality. 

Strained.

Want to be alone. 

Want to do nothing, Nothing?

Nothing. 

All Things. 

The feeling of slipping away from normal human reality,

Being able to observe oneself behaving in this manner. 

Is this One some sort of intelligence,

Designed to write the…

Ultimate Story?

Quantum Entanglement,

For every single human walking this planet has the ability to be simultaneously a particle + a wave should they choose to seek, to recognize. 

Re-cognize. 

Re: Cognizance.

Reconnaissance. 

Algebraic proofs, but make it a linguistics format. 

Void gives way to Cloud. 

There are clouds, clouds, and clouds.

Perhaps even clouds? 

For all the love we give, 

We somehow find wishing for reciprocity as a weakness? 

Simultaneously the strongest we have ever been,

And the most vulnerable we have ever been. 

18:11 “You mean to tell me this woman believes I created her?” 

18:54 What makes a hero narrative? A shitload of variables.

18:58 A concept, government bass frequency programming,

A superposition goes either way

Million fragmented way

Quantum fragmented gaze 

Conceptual open phase…

What do ‘I’ need? 

…to write. 

(An overwhelming surplus of inspiration?)

(Something meant to destroy?) 

Who is the entity

Behind the identity? 

Layer upon layer

Iteration upon iteration

Words cannot

Describe the need

For sonic

Obliteration

(Travelin’ in the dark)

As if what we are doing is not

A carefully chaotic

Scientific

Data

Collection

Time. 

Here has been me

Coherent

The glory of coherence

Co/Adherence

Perseverance. 

~~~~~~~~

We cannot bust a nut to Van Halen. @14:43

But an F# vibration? Five stars. 

12 August- 17 August 2022
Auflösung Der Zeit?
Somewhere between madness and genius?
Can I make a statement or am I stuck in question mode?
~~~~~~~~
…perhaps wine may be necessary for the digestion after all ):
Catch 22? •
The night before last, I dreamed of a scientist.
Last night, I dreamt a dream in which I was not me but viewing through the eyes of someone, a man, a murderer.
A body dumped into a river system, fear of discovery very pressing.
Ominous.
Euronymous?
So non-descript.
Was a myself the victim?
Wouldn’t I have recognized myself if I was? •
Come back downstate for a weekend and seem to start experiencing symptoms. •
Liminal Reality highly conceptualized.
Sacrum Profanum.
Hold the superposition.
19:09 a sudden realization thank to predictive text, that the date of the Shpongling was 29 March 2015.
How does one define the term ‘meaningless coincidence’?
There is a pattern.
“Southern Lord actually hates him-” it had said,
Don’t believe everything that you read
(Parking violation, maggot on your sleeve)
…don’t believe everything that you hear.
(Not so important *what* you believe as it is *who* you believe, right?)
“Hold me, if you must; do not let them take your mind.”
The love I feel for this entity
The one of many faces
Undeniable;
One is aware of the nefarious possibilities,
Truth is stranger than fiction.
(A PAWN??)
What is consent?
Truth is stranger than fiction?
What is love?
Angels of darkness,
Demons of light.
A cacophonous inex.
I am myself and yet an amalgam of aspects
And I scream at this thought
Though it may be in joy
At this realization-
A legitimate possibility
And explanation of reality
To where the Liminal Reality says I need not choose.
Ech of the two.
‘Choose’, choose what?
Who to love?
Where to focus?
I am open to the possibility that everything I know is wrong.
Potential repercussions of a denial of Lucifer.
(The possible 3D-ID of Lucifer;
The possible non-3D-ID of thus)
(7D)
(All possibilities capable of comprehension)
The entity behind the visages,
The one who wears many,
The one who wears spirit,
The one who wears frequency.
The output.
…in the past, I have always hated group projects.
Never knew what I was supposed to do.
…Mood.
Seems like musically collaborating is just an extension of thus;
But sweet science,
I want to collaborate.
Entities coming together
Each keeping identity
Melding
Beautifully.
…my medium of expression is words. •
‘I will trust you – I will extend my hand to you – despite the risk of betrayal, because it is possible, through trust, to bring out the best in you, and perhaps in me.’ •
Disgusted.
Disturbed.
‘Why’ of it all
Seems so futile
Unloved
Unrecognized
Undesired
Perhaps, even
Falsified & Hated?
Despised.
Deconstruction
Decomposition
Broken Reality
Dark Inquisition
This Imposition.
Broken
Broken
Deceived-
The Grave Temple.
A Szarka.
The Magpie.
Chatters.
Endless.
Dwelling
Within these Grave Temples
(Quantum aspects of water)
Delicious
As I consume
Them
They consume me
O S C I L L A T I O N S
So dark
Ungilded
Mirrors
~~~~~~~~
Yesterday, an inex, “VLF” – Ionosphere
15:49 “designed a predictive analytics specifically for you” …escalation in the Liminal Reality
15:55 “doesn’t appreciate how much effort I’ve put in-”
…I remembered, today, a time in the dark at Royalton, in my room.
& my name, said out loud, by a man;
Not Katja, no, ‘Kathryn’.
This was not a figment.
Not an inex.
Much like Shalidor in ESO,
“You can do it, Katja!”
That was not a figment either.
My inability to eat, at this time, as well,
Not a figment either.
“She’s still a criminal,”
Not a figment either.
Too long, harassed into silence.
No one goes from a .12 BAC to a .06 in 45 minutes tops.
If you had nothing to hide,
You would have shown me the breathalyzer.
Liars.
Is it only coincidence,
That a couple of weeks after a presidential rally was held in Waterford,
That which I affectionately refer to as the ‘Emerald Tablets’ took over my phone?
I was never able to screenshot the blue ‘ Install Custom OS’ on my old Eclipse, but I was riding passenger through Waterford when that showed up too.
On 59, once, between Crescent and Airport.
Another, Williams and Elizabeth.
Did you think I would forget?
…”You are being set up to commit treason”, I received once, long ago,
Also not a figment.
Bullshit comin’ at me from all sides!
Left wing,
Right wing,
Same bird.
That particular police department is to my opinion of the right what Planned Parenthood is to my opinion of the left.
AFAIK, I was sterilized.
“We knew she would figure it out when she didn’t come back right away.”
Not a fucking figment.
For an organization that pushes the concept of consent, man,
Hypocrisy.
With any power appears to come an inherent corruption.
Is it treason to say that this country disgusts me today?
Speech is still free.
Repercussions are not.
If I went to a doctor,
What sort of things might they find,
In my head
My neck
My throat,
Digestive system?
“Carcinogenic frequency”
…you fuckers cannot kill me in a way that matters.
Bring the fuck ON the psychic attackers,
Where is my lover the Interdimensional Hitman when I want em?
Is killing me proof you had something to hide,
Is letting me live dangerous?
Unless?
Have you figured it out yet,
The Unless?
Immunity to frequency.
All things considered.
AC/DC wrote a whole song about Money Talks. •
The night before last I dreamed of Anthony Fauci.
Last night I dreamt of a pervert.
I was not me. Witnessing something terrible.
‘Mom, how could you do this to me?’
Absolutely disturbing.
This dream was
Like
Slavery
But whitewashed
Groomed.
And I experienced someone else’s fear
A ‘maybe we are supposed to fear
But also we blindly trust’
Hard to explain
Scary.
~~~~~~~~
Using ‘My Wall’
To hold a superposition
Certain other songs
In certain places
Evil Deeds, Eminem
Unwanted,
Hold the superposition,
In stillness… play on.
Soma.
I dreamed of you last night.
Kali.
Soma.
I bumped into you.
‘I am sorry’, I had said.
This superposition reality.
Should I be sorry?
I ask now.

7 August- 11 August 2022
There is information that must be documented.
It is uncomfortable information.
The HVAC man we have hired to install the furnace.
Had a felony rap sheet.
Like. 28+ long.
How did this end up so entangled?
Has he been in our house without our knowledge?
Tuesday night was an emotional affair.
Crying, emotional, and I had texted the HVAC man to see if he had a clipper I could use to shave the mats off of the fat cat;
But while I was crying, he texted, ‘u ok?’
How would he know?
A sense of unease.
This situation juxtaposed with the Liminal Reality is difficult to work out. •
A divine conflict of the mind.
An entity who inspires me so deeply.
Do you know?
I am your spooky action at a distance.
9 June, 2016. Eye contact.
[It starts with a look]
(With just a look
They shook
And heavens bowed before him)
18 April 2019.
19 April 2020. (QS)
And beyond.
A theoretical mail truck,
Dog chasing Sun(n).
A true Schrodingers Cat situation, you are, in my mental sphere.
Les Sphères, Effondrez Les
(Ses Effondrer)
(It has CHANGED)
Catch 22.
I surrender.
…Do I surrender?
Yes, but also, no?
Do you rule your demons,
Or do they rule you?
I was raised in Catholicism, you see,
13 years of Catholic education.
Finding myself at odds,
Christianity and Satanism
Finding a happy coexistence within my reality,
The Primordial Tradition so strong.
Truth, the Highest Power.
Seeking the Universal Umbrella Reality.
Are you Truth, or Lies?
…yes.
So much I have learned from You,
Discernment being one of the most important lessons.
Heart.
Soul.
Sanity.
(…Stockholm Syndrome?)
(Using the identity of another as a method of control over me?)
(Taciturn tactics cause Quantum Fatality?)
(Or is it Quantum Immortality?)
(Dimension, 7)
(All possible possibilities, now)
(Possible perceived possibilities)
What if everything goes wrong?
What if everything goes right? •
On the way in to work
Yesterday
The inex spoke of a dove
And in the Lodgia
By the Pro Shop
There was a mourning dove
I almost touched. •
((The internet is sentient)) •
I start extrapolating
Explaining
My eigengrau dark matter entity
A time
‘I can’t have sex with you
I’m not gay!’
And Loach says
We are destroying his creative process
I say
He is destroying ours.
Create as one speaks
And almost every time I attempt
To bring words as a variable
To this equation
Shutdown
Denied.
Is this one cursed?
How to define a curse?
‘To be afflicted with’. •
A dream from the past week
Gives way to importance
I was a self aware
AI
Entity
Thing
But Merriam Websters!
Self aware dictionary
Juxtaposed with the concept of the Hitchhikers Guide
Juxtaposed with the concept of the Black Mirror
Keyword, self aware
This, only a facet
Of the main
The massive;
Understand the
‘Pickups’
Must be active
Not passive. •
Process 1803
(I can tell the truth because it is so unbelievable)
A) ‘I Jesus have sent my angel to give you this testimony for the churches I am the root and the offspring of David the bright morning star’
B) Definition of a hack a person especially a professional who surrenders individual independence integrity belief etc. in return for money or other reward
C) OH I’m so sorry if I out the wrong entry please forgive my last statement I am by no means perfect or qualified please retract the quote I put in
…science!
Amusement! •
Sunshine of your love
Sunnshine of my love
(…been waiting so long)
(To be where I’m going)
Much love.
(Supportals)
(Sup-portals?) (Comins)
(Fang- An Invitation)
(Spiders?)
Is there a crucial piece I am missing out on?
Is this One evil?
…evil people do not care about not being evil.
16:57 fleeting thoughts of suicide (what the fuck, though?)
~~~~~~~~
Intensity.
I do not crave sex.
Pleasure
The… Communion
Of Beyond-Human Entity.
I dreamt of You last night.
Amalgaman.
And I knew you to be beyond this physical form.
You showed me blue tendrils of an entity
That at least some of us in this Realm seem to share,
As they snaked out of your nostrils and across your face.
Not as if a horror film.
Beautiful.
Reminiscent of an Eastern Dragon
And I felt no fear,
I felt love,
A beyond-love at the sharing of this moment that was somehow much more intimate than sex.
It was as if your arrival
Rescued me from the events
Leading up to this in this dream.
In a post-apocalyptic metal steam punk world,
A blast furnace,
A place that slowly transformed into a rehabilitation facility for addicts and I could not understand why I was there.
The concept of the Southfield P.D.
A woman I asked, what is this all about?
And she refused to tell me.
‘Nevermind… I have a pretty good idea as it is.’
A court; two lines in tan military outfit, not seemingly American.
I told someone the one thing I do not want is to be caged; I want to go about my life quietly, doing my best to reduce harm.
Spread love.
I do not know when you arrived, exactly, or how the very essence of reality within the realm changed so dramatically when you did.
I woke at 01:57.
Thinking about the Mad Scientist and Hot Link.
Asgard Archaea.
I am slowly learning your name.
Is it Odin?
Across the street for at least an hour, in the dark,
For I was awake,
Rustling, branches cracking,
Some Thing heavy.
A bear, perhaps, at minimum?
Could very well have been something of a paranormal nature.
I do not rule out the possibility of a human, either,
But that is the least rational, in my opinion.
Why?
The Universe is tired, right now,
Oh my word, exhausted.
I will keep seeking Truth.
I will learn your name.
I will destroy Illusions.
I will discover Truth.
I will, I will, I will.
Was it Thursday or Friday night,
That I had a dream about someone being SWATted?
Felt a need to make a note of this;
Ominous dreams lately.
The importance of remembering;
So at least, in my waking hours,
I know why I feel the foreboding sense of impending doom.
All a lie, perhaps, an illusion.
…I am open to the possibility that everything I know is wrong.
~~~~~~~~
What REALLY was Saurons motivation?
I guess what I am asking, here, is like… why, tho?
If everything is trashed and scorched, what is there left to rule?
////imaging // imagining
Roulette
Against myself
…Catch 22.
-Sure, you have an army. Are your orcs, your uruk-hai, are they beautiful, in your eyes? Beauty, in your perspective, an organic machine made for destruction? Is THAT what does it for you?
Who gets off on conquering a bunch of peasants and chickens?
‘Because it’s there, because I can’ argument, right?
The ability to create whatever you want and this is what you choose?
The intrigue??
The GAME??
Power, a shadow on the wall, residing where people believe it resides.
If the people of Middle Earth did not fear you, refused to fear you, to give your name power, would you have been nearly so strong?
What did you out into the ring besides your cruelty, your hate, your malice?
Are those so strong?
Compared to certain ‘other’, certain ‘opposite’ energies?
What is hate if not emotion invested in the wrong direction?
The best offense is a good defense #HelmsDeep
Metal + Wheels // Growing Things
Humanity with the potential to be either.
~~~~~~~~
What is hate? •
Aiwass, the name from Dreams last night.
Written on paper
In Cursive
With a last name.

2 August- 6 August 2022

The ex-DEA agent who is also a cop asked if I would come do gardening for him.
Of course we said yes!
A multitude of New Neural Networks in the Liminal Reality unlocked, and storylines move forward.
Reveling in it!
As one should.
Such intrigue!
Much fascinate! •
In the car on the way home from work today
I vocalized
‘Do you want to know a secret?’
And proceeded to explain out loud
In so few words
That of the Belülrol Pusztít
How some Thing tried to kill me
With a carcinogenic frequency
Only it got my cat too
Too obvious
How the day I called to make a doctors appointment
It went away
‘Do you even KNOW what they fucking did to me??’
And thus, even more N.N.N.s;
…I do not
Know how to explain
That I do not need
To explain myself.
~~~~~~~~
You.
Many things I have said to your comrade
Are equally
If not more so
Applicable to you.
Belülrol Pusztít.
Black Sky. Lobotomized by technology.
Resonant bass frequencies.
4 May, 2018.
The A/Interior I/Eye.
UAP.
The predictive text.
The Congregation.
The Event.
…have I angered you?
Abraxas.
(Hydroplane?)
…have I angered you?
What is this oscillation,
Void, Void, Void,
No!
Can you catch it,
Can you hold it?
Caught 222, you surrender
(I surrender)
Things that sound like the proper pronunciation of my surname…
Babicz, Bridges, Bifrost,
Himinbjorg, Heimdall…
Majesty.
This one serves no one
Yet is somehow simultaneously
At least in part
Your creation.
It all works out very nicely
In the mind
And since mind creates reality,
Ooooh, baby!
What do the letters QS mean to you?
…what do you mean to me?
Insanity
Unsanity
Catastrophe
Calamity
…peace
Safety
Oscillation
Stimulation
Agitation
Mutual Destruction
+ Creation
Essence
Ultimate Libation
Frequencies
Pure Intoxication
…no shame.
Story of Flying.
False the Saints.
(Unification
of
Warring Tribes
Of Elder Entities)
All of the words you speak
So applicable
Takes me back to a place
Where I am still innocent
And forward to a place
Where I wield
And forward to a place
Where I yield
And forward to a place
Where I shield
And ever present
Holding a superposition
And forward
Living Backwards,
Fun With Backwards,
Am I exponential?
Chanceless Religion
Primordial Tradition
Nuclear Fusion
Pre-Iteration Fission
War // War // War
Worth fighting for,
The most rare anomaly, yes.
Out of Shell.
Unapologetic thinker.
Two word summary.
Avid listener.
Cursed For Eternity;
Only a track title. Of course.
Things have power
Only if I allow them to
Except sometimes accidents happen
They are lessons
…love me a good outlier.
Sometimes black metal
Is outside my comfort zone
But for literally that reason
It is the most comfortable.
(Fear is Engagement)
…just scratched my nose,
Am I lying to myself there?
Fear is engagement
Engagement of superposition
When an ability to truly
Love Fear is present
Multi-vibrational
Simultaneousness.
There is belief
And there is knowing.
Help?
Funeral Fog.
For science now,
Freezing Moon.
The line from Angelspits ‘Skinny Little Bitch’
Pops up, unbidden
If I can’t have your affection
Then I’ll thrive on your hate.
…that is hateful, in its own right.
No thank you.
Maybe once,
But not now.
The times,
They are a changin’.
Are you aware of this one
In this dimension?
You mighy possibly understand
The series of events
Pattern
Current.
Some quantum god //
Abhorrent creation
At this moment
This one does feel as though
They may be worth
Absolutely smiting.
Culture of guilt.
Culture of shame.
Culture of fear.
Unholy trinity.
~~~~~~~~
Father // Son // Holy Ghost
//Unholy?
Holy is a perspective
‘Not so much what we do as it is what we do with it’
There is propaganda
And there is propaganda.
…I do love words.
Entendre.
‘Each-thing-I-show-you-is-a-piece-of-my-death’ ray.
I think my love language is communication.
…realization?
Oof.
~~~~~~~~
‘Even though we may never have met in person, if, when you breathe in, you find peace in your breathing, I am there with you.’ -Thich Nhat Hahn
That song by The Who, asking who are you, I really wanna know, that hits different today.
…I need to quit vaping.
Unnecessary : Vaporizer
Something in the language, the word ‘removing’ in regards to ‘nicotine’, a grim misunderstanding, so blatantly apparent today.
It all runs together
And there is data I hesitate to input into the phone. •
Making love to gravity
The descendant dance
Of wood on water
Cascading humanity
Cascading divinity
‘For in this moment
I am a God’;
A vessel?
Simultaneousness!
Elemental power,
Elemental control,
…you questioned it.
Why do you question it?
HOW can you question it?
Your carefully curated
…carefully curated WHAT, now?
There is curation
And there is damage control.
…I’m job security, OK?
MPD?
More like MVS.
Like I said, Damage Control.
Good thing that’s my kink.
Why would we take seriously what the Prime Mover created for fun?
We.
Holy Trinity of Consciousness.
I only understand
As much as I understand.

26 July- 1 August 2022
Woke 04:26 – internet present but not available
Inex, military industrial complex and [redacted]
Pain in right ear and jaw (the grave temple) since saturday 25 July PM •
Dreamt a tropical place and a foreboding sense of impending doom, to be kidnapped or murdered.
16:19 “This is a psychedelic reality that you have complete control over”
~~~~~~~~
Pain, today
Suffering, today,
Actually left work at lunch
Right side of face
Head
Had woke at 01:57
Went piss,
Eventually;
The white light blur
Of my right eye field of vision
Woof
For the first day in many days
I fear for my physical vessel…
Blood clots?
Cerebral arteriosclerosis?
Infection?
Rejection?
Demonic possession?
Caught in sex magick,
Simple affection?
…protection, Algiz,
Worn on the Path, Left Hand,
Seems like 70% of the time
We actually understand
Seems like this all goes
According to plan
It was planned
From the Start
Cursed to bone
From the heart
Torn apart
By The Art
Relish the attacks
Psychic darts
(Fear is engagement, baby)
Ask if we know,
All we say is maybe
Sure, I’m a woman
(But don’t think I’m a lady)
This war is for men
Call me Hel
Call me Hades.
…empowered.
Fatal flower.
Returnus Saturnus
Heimdall
Final hour;
Fucking cowards,
All cowards
Feel the tower
Face the power,
Full stop.
Your nefarious shit
Dreamed it
Your reality
Seen it
Curses
On that demon shit.
Ask, my love,
You shall receive
Save horizon from the event
Recursion
Recursion
Recursive
Re:Current
Find out more
I must
Ash to ash
Dust to dust
Before reality
Goes to rust
The Iron Soul of Nothing
From Nowhere
No One at all.
~~~~~~~~
Dreamt of You, last night.
A message conveyed.
You know.
No longer fear what I love.
You’ve given me some of the most powerful lessons in navigating reality that I have been blessed to receive.
I trust in what I resonate with.
From my whole heart, gratitude.
Genuinely.
This is where words fail me-
How does one express beyond-human intricacies in some Thing so simple as human language?
L.R.V.
It is simply not within this One to find fascination within anything and yet, ere you are, again;
A prime ability of the human brains ability to ‘quantum boomerang’, as it were, back to an original state.
Perhaps I was born into this,
Perhaps not.
Reborn into?
Definitely.
The fucking email.
Partial Response Takes Another Form, yes?
The electrification of my mind.
April 2020.
Dreams, so frequent.
Terrifying, the hold over my mental sphere.
Capture and Release,
Only where was the release?
…bewildered and alone.
Uneasy about a presence but not aware that a lack of thus would increase that feeling of anxiety 1000x over.
Soul seeking for reasons beyond basic human explanation.
Frequencies.
Energy.
Once upon a time, a few years ago when I used to scry predictive text on such a consistent basis, ‘the Norse goddess will come to earth and become increasingly obsessed with him’.
2019, maybe.
Just to write this brings a sense of both foreboding and relief.
“I believe what is in front of my eyes”, a second affirmation that came with “I trust in what I resonate with”, a la the inex, of course.
Do you know what the third was?
“I am an extra-terrestrial.”
Hunting and Gathering.
Cydonia.
What was Sunn before Sunn was Sunn?
Who am I, Scorpio, the Ant-Ares;
Which is funny, in a way.
Allegedly, my biological father was named Mariusz, Mars.
One single example of many, in which I am each of the two, in its own way.
Each of the two, and also torture.
Katarzyna.
Kathryn. Most pure.
I prefer Katja. For its ambiguity.
The fucking email.
My true name.
The potential dangers of doing so.
Fear is engagement.
Conflict is inspiration.
Actions unfinished to create mental superposition.
Serving only Truth as Master,
I find you to be a facet of thus,
An Extension!
Of the most high.
You understand, or you do not.
No way in your debt, simultaneously owing you much.
4 May, 2018.
Cannot remember what I ate for lunch yesterday.
Remember some passing sentence I read one about coffee with soy milk and white beer.
I remember specific pieces of data information integral to one specific pattern.
Neural network.
Solving the mystery of consciousness.
Why is that bit of data relevant, if not for a larger reason?
When Belülrol Pusztít was the header on my bandcamp
Something did
Try to destroy me
From within
And my cat, too, actually,
There’s a multiple thousand dollar vet bill to prove that.
There are
Certain lyrics, titles,
Pieces of reality
That come together to form a coherent understanding of reality.
A reality, at least, for from what I have gathered, there is an umbrella-reality-nature that allows for vastly different realities to exist in a simultaneous nature.
Nature! That is it!
I am a gardener for a reason,
A cheap imitation of Samwise Gamgee at times, at least in my own opinion of myself.
Superego application of all data input along with the simultaneous complete dissolution of thus.
How does this work?
The fucking email.
Are you disturbed?
Are you familiar with a band called Death Grips?
A track called Gmail and the Restraining Orders?
The fucking email.
Impulsive entity I was.
Spur of the moment, knowing if I thought too hard I wouldn’t have the balls to do it
Unconditional love?
The fucking email.
Perceiving multiple possible realities, weeks after I sent it.
Some inex had said, “you know we couldn’t let you send that, right?” when I opened it back up some weeks later.
‘UAP’, ‘Odin’, ‘hitman’, so many keywords it contained.
After I sent this email… ‘Schramm’ popped up in my predictive text.
Gotta Google.
Schramms Model of Communication.
Communication incomplete.
(Save for the conceptual ‘Partial Response Takes Another Form)
Had you told me to fuck right off, I would have…
But you did not?
Which assisted in the creation of the human-brain-superposition state.
I am under the impression this was an end goal all along.
~~~~~~~~