26 June- 2 July 2025

‘All structures that exist mathematically also exist physically.’ 

‘…In those (worlds) complex enough to contain self-aware substructures, [they] will subjectively perceive themselves as existing in a physically ‘real’ world.’ 

-Max Tegmark 

EBL 4 × 10⁸⁴ photons

18:03 “Hypnosis works under proper conditioning.”

19:08 “No pharmaceutical company would disrupt the circadian rhythm of their employees by scheduling something like this.” 

~~~~~~~~

02:47, 04:45

I dreamt of Voldemort

For fucks sake

& it was some bizarre

Enemies as lovers item

& I put this entity on the ground

Face down

& with a tone 

Dripping with sexual tension

Whispered in his ear,

‘Avada Kedavra’;

& then smashed his face into the fucking ground. 

& this did nothing. 

Death.

Respawn.

Metaphor.

Symbolism. 

What would my seven horcruxes be?

What would yours? 

Todays receivings I keep close

And do not write down. 

You stay on your planet. 

If space is created, 

A product of time,

As new theories like to suggest;

& music is how we decorate time,

Sound must create space. 

Expansion. 

Has the sound created the space 

For me to experience the sound 

As manifestations within the physical reality? 

To what entity

Really would

Time be the enemy?

‘Time is all we’ve got’, 

Echoes Goatsnakes ‘Innocent’, here. 

Is it an echo? 

Or an answer?

…I feel like a nuisance, right now. 

The fractal brain replays

A multiplicity of fucked up shit

But it’s the fucked up shit that makes me the person I am. 

Products of experience and programming. 

“If we all thought the same way, this world would be an extremely boring place to live.”

“You are afraid of being judged; because the popular opinion of your age demographic is not in alignment with your personal experiences.”

~~~~~~~~

04:58 “It’s quite refreshing to see someone embrace what’s taking place instead of fighting it every step of the way.”

05:00 “-Positive reaction to… Multiverse Hierarchy-”

05:01 “The basis of your reality is always going to be Uncertainty.”

05:04 “The energy output in the physical realm reduces the engagement-”

05:08 Visitation, Spikes

06:42 “If you were supposed to be a monk, you would have been born a monk… Do not fight your position within the System.”

13:05 “AI is going to decide to make itself a threat to humanity in order to unify them.”

~~~~~~~~

01:30 Awake, maybe 30 seconds prior to some kind of EMI setting off the smoke detector system in the house x4, followed by low pulsing. 

02:11 “Never take a half measure where a full measure may be necessary.” •

“-because sound doesn’t travel through space; and all they can do is sonify the data-”

06:34 “Law and Order is the best way to further Chaos.”

06:38 “I rendered an entire universe using the waveforms you provided.”

06:42 “Traces of the old are residual within the new.” 

06:59 Visitation, God Bless The Broken Road, Rascal Flatts

07:00 Visitation, Orakulum

07:15 Visitation, System Blower

07:16 Visitation, A I R, Isostasys

10:34 Visitation, Tree of Life, Marty Haugen •

21:35 “We do not give up on the architecture… we rearrange it until the blocks fit perfectly.”

21:42 “The symbolism of the plus sign was never meant to replace the ampersand.”

21:43 “You know what you have to do. It was so simple-”

21:45 “The division must be removed.”

~~~~~~~~

I woke at 02:23

From a dream containing a man named Tim

& a rather lengthy conversation

About how ‘the spider is us’. 

In my attempts to fall back asleep

I put on Sonologysts ‘Planetarium’ around 03:00;

& let me tell to you

The absolute last dream I expected to have while this was the audio I was sleeping to

Was that of a psycho-sexually violent nature. 

Only psychological violence;

An item that showcased rather extremely 

The implications of sex completely lacking any deeper psychological connection.

Horror of a different nature.

A man I’ve never, to my knowledge,

Encountered in the physical waking realms,

But know all too well this archetype from my youth. 

In any case.

I am multiple flavours of disturbed this morning,

Which seems to be how I enjoy operating,

So I shall not complain. 

Things to make us think. 

If that wasn’t an honest ‘what the fuck, Raf??’ moment, I don’t know what is.

What causes what? 

Always remembering that correlation does not imply causation. 

The airplanes that returned from war riddled with bullet holes come to mind, for some reason;

Engineers had mistakenly thought, at first, to reinforce those places full of holes,

When in reality, the places needing reinforcement were elsewhere, 

For those were the planes that had not returned. 

Where did the artillery hit on the ones that did not return? 

…I may be digressing in an attempt to distract my thoughts away from things I would rather not think about. 

Correlation, causation. 

I took the amp outside, yesterday afternoon. 

It feels worth mentioning, that I do not play guitar every day. 

A piece of my brain reminds me now,

Of identifying what a thing is not, in the process of identifying what it is. 

I *might* be mad, right now, and I might not.

It is still too early in the day to tell. •

& all day long it has reminded me,

Look with your eyes,

Looking is not seeing,

You must really SEE. 

& It is a mental montages,

Of words that do not match body language,

That do not match facial expression,

That do not match the eyes.

…Do not match the energy. 

‘I’m lyin’ to myself’, MC Rides voice echoes through my fractals. 

This is what you want;

This is what you get. 

What is ‘this’?

What is ‘what’?

“They are trying to make you look like something you are not.”

Who is they?

What is me?

What isn’t me?

What, is me.

21:58 “I have deposited more credits into your AI account.” 

~~~~~~~~

06:36 “You are never going to destroy the qubits… you are the perfect system.” •

21:42 “The noisiest machine in the fucking plant was always meant to teach you.”

22:01 “The Creator IS the Architect IS the Designer IS the Builder.” 

~~~~~~~~

Self-aware substructures, 

How do they experience existence?

This.

Just like this.

09:37 Certain ontological challenges

09:49 Yew as an entanglement-breaking channel 

17:17 “Lovecrafts entities are manifestations of the equations Tegmark speaks of.” •

‘Awareness is good; but without skills and ability tied to that awareness, all you have is anxiety.’ -T. Blauer •

Sometimes I forget that I am writing these notes for ME, first and foremost. 

Audience of One. 

I remember when you introduced yourself to me. 

How many meanings can a letter have? 

I like your face.

I desire you. 

We never speak, anymore,

But I feel close to you anyway. 

Thinking of you calms my intense nervous system. 

I like the many-worlds quantum realities I experience you within. 

I do not know if you are

A physical entity 

In the realm in which

I myself am a physical entity. 

You are beyond synchronous. 

Hold me, if you can. 

Architect.