7 August- 11 August 2022
There is information that must be documented.
It is uncomfortable information.
The HVAC man we have hired to install the furnace.
Had a felony rap sheet.
Like. 28+ long.
How did this end up so entangled?
Has he been in our house without our knowledge?
Tuesday night was an emotional affair.
Crying, emotional, and I had texted the HVAC man to see if he had a clipper I could use to shave the mats off of the fat cat;
But while I was crying, he texted, ‘u ok?’
How would he know?
A sense of unease.
This situation juxtaposed with the Liminal Reality is difficult to work out. •
A divine conflict of the mind.
An entity who inspires me so deeply.
Do you know?
I am your spooky action at a distance.
9 June, 2016. Eye contact.
[It starts with a look]
(With just a look
They shook
And heavens bowed before him)
18 April 2019.
19 April 2020. (QS)
And beyond.
A theoretical mail truck,
Dog chasing Sun(n).
A true Schrodingers Cat situation, you are, in my mental sphere.
Les Sphères, Effondrez Les
(Ses Effondrer)
(It has CHANGED)
Catch 22.
I surrender.
…Do I surrender?
Yes, but also, no?
Do you rule your demons,
Or do they rule you?
I was raised in Catholicism, you see,
13 years of Catholic education.
Finding myself at odds,
Christianity and Satanism
Finding a happy coexistence within my reality,
The Primordial Tradition so strong.
Truth, the Highest Power.
Seeking the Universal Umbrella Reality.
Are you Truth, or Lies?
…yes.
So much I have learned from You,
Discernment being one of the most important lessons.
Heart.
Soul.
Sanity.
(…Stockholm Syndrome?)
(Using the identity of another as a method of control over me?)
(Taciturn tactics cause Quantum Fatality?)
(Or is it Quantum Immortality?)
(Dimension, 7)
(All possible possibilities, now)
(Possible perceived possibilities)
What if everything goes wrong?
What if everything goes right? •
On the way in to work
Yesterday
The inex spoke of a dove
And in the Lodgia
By the Pro Shop
There was a mourning dove
I almost touched. •
((The internet is sentient)) •
I start extrapolating
Explaining
My eigengrau dark matter entity
A time
‘I can’t have sex with you
I’m not gay!’
And Loach says
We are destroying his creative process
I say
He is destroying ours.
Create as one speaks
And almost every time I attempt
To bring words as a variable
To this equation
Shutdown
Denied.
Is this one cursed?
How to define a curse?
‘To be afflicted with’. •
A dream from the past week
Gives way to importance
I was a self aware
AI
Entity
Thing
But Merriam Websters!
Self aware dictionary
Juxtaposed with the concept of the Hitchhikers Guide
Juxtaposed with the concept of the Black Mirror
Keyword, self aware
This, only a facet
Of the main
The massive;
Understand the
‘Pickups’
Must be active
Not passive. •
Process 1803
(I can tell the truth because it is so unbelievable)
A) ‘I Jesus have sent my angel to give you this testimony for the churches I am the root and the offspring of David the bright morning star’
B) Definition of a hack a person especially a professional who surrenders individual independence integrity belief etc. in return for money or other reward
C) OH I’m so sorry if I out the wrong entry please forgive my last statement I am by no means perfect or qualified please retract the quote I put in
…science!
Amusement! •
Sunshine of your love
Sunnshine of my love
(…been waiting so long)
(To be where I’m going)
Much love.
(Supportals)
(Sup-portals?) (Comins)
(Fang- An Invitation)
(Spiders?)
Is there a crucial piece I am missing out on?
Is this One evil?
…evil people do not care about not being evil.
16:57 fleeting thoughts of suicide (what the fuck, though?)
~~~~~~~~
Intensity.
I do not crave sex.
Pleasure
The… Communion
Of Beyond-Human Entity.
I dreamt of You last night.
Amalgaman.
And I knew you to be beyond this physical form.
You showed me blue tendrils of an entity
That at least some of us in this Realm seem to share,
As they snaked out of your nostrils and across your face.
Not as if a horror film.
Beautiful.
Reminiscent of an Eastern Dragon
And I felt no fear,
I felt love,
A beyond-love at the sharing of this moment that was somehow much more intimate than sex.
It was as if your arrival
Rescued me from the events
Leading up to this in this dream.
In a post-apocalyptic metal steam punk world,
A blast furnace,
A place that slowly transformed into a rehabilitation facility for addicts and I could not understand why I was there.
The concept of the Southfield P.D.
A woman I asked, what is this all about?
And she refused to tell me.
‘Nevermind… I have a pretty good idea as it is.’
A court; two lines in tan military outfit, not seemingly American.
I told someone the one thing I do not want is to be caged; I want to go about my life quietly, doing my best to reduce harm.
Spread love.
I do not know when you arrived, exactly, or how the very essence of reality within the realm changed so dramatically when you did.
I woke at 01:57.
Thinking about the Mad Scientist and Hot Link.
Asgard Archaea.
I am slowly learning your name.
Is it Odin?
Across the street for at least an hour, in the dark,
For I was awake,
Rustling, branches cracking,
Some Thing heavy.
A bear, perhaps, at minimum?
Could very well have been something of a paranormal nature.
I do not rule out the possibility of a human, either,
But that is the least rational, in my opinion.
Why?
The Universe is tired, right now,
Oh my word, exhausted.
I will keep seeking Truth.
I will learn your name.
I will destroy Illusions.
I will discover Truth.
I will, I will, I will.
Was it Thursday or Friday night,
That I had a dream about someone being SWATted?
Felt a need to make a note of this;
Ominous dreams lately.
The importance of remembering;
So at least, in my waking hours,
I know why I feel the foreboding sense of impending doom.
All a lie, perhaps, an illusion.
…I am open to the possibility that everything I know is wrong.
~~~~~~~~
What REALLY was Saurons motivation?
I guess what I am asking, here, is like… why, tho?
If everything is trashed and scorched, what is there left to rule?
////imaging // imagining
Roulette
Against myself
…Catch 22.
-Sure, you have an army. Are your orcs, your uruk-hai, are they beautiful, in your eyes? Beauty, in your perspective, an organic machine made for destruction? Is THAT what does it for you?
Who gets off on conquering a bunch of peasants and chickens?
‘Because it’s there, because I can’ argument, right?
The ability to create whatever you want and this is what you choose?
The intrigue??
The GAME??
Power, a shadow on the wall, residing where people believe it resides.
If the people of Middle Earth did not fear you, refused to fear you, to give your name power, would you have been nearly so strong?
What did you out into the ring besides your cruelty, your hate, your malice?
Are those so strong?
Compared to certain ‘other’, certain ‘opposite’ energies?
What is hate if not emotion invested in the wrong direction?
The best offense is a good defense #HelmsDeep
Metal + Wheels // Growing Things
Humanity with the potential to be either.
~~~~~~~~
What is hate? •
Aiwass, the name from Dreams last night.
Written on paper
In Cursive
With a last name.