The Riddle Of Clouds

Condensed.

1022202322102023 10/22/2023 22/10/2023
00:01 “these people have no idea how dangerous cryptocurrency actually is”
00:07 “your cellular telephone discusses these things with [my] cellular telephone”; the whole ‘head will be linked directly to your cellphone’ man-made horrors beyond our comprehension, cell phones are ‘Man made’.
00:33 “there are relationships with technology that the majority of humans are not able to experience”
00:34 “selective evolution”
07:00 “watching your documents like television”
07:01 “remorseless behaviour”
07:17 “the Norse Mythologies are especially real right now because of Marvels influence of the collective consciousness”
07:19 The Bass Frequency
07:22 “these seeds contain genetics from other spatial dimensions”
07:34 Catch 22, no surrender, Catch 22, 23, 46, hut hike! This is the Hail Mary.
07:38 “if they move to outlaw music, that’s the fascism we need”
07:42 “evolved to withstand significant amounts of radiation”
07:43 “A Scanner Darkly… was already happening in the physical reality”
08:00 “I’m as sadistic as you are masochistic”
08:10 “what is life without death?”
08:41 “Spartan lifestyle”
08:46 “it’s happening organically”
08:47 “it’s the Chaos Game my grandmother was referring to” a dialogue on an interaction with her from 2021, where she had said, [entry from Fractal, 10/21/2021] ‘You made them all early in the game; you haven’t added anything lately.’ This is said by her in regards to ‘people I have created, particularly a man with a suitcase full of rocks’.
08:49 “we had hoped you would be a lot more vindictive than you are”
09:41 “must eliminate reactions to uncomfortable stimuli”
10:07 The Bass Frequency
11:31 “everyone’s decided to pool their knowledge and put it into The Well”
12:48 “Sonic weapons”
12:50 “admire the bravery of one particular-”
13:57 “why would you leave your windows open if it’s dark out?”
14:14 dialogues, “this is someone who literally destroys programming”
14:43 The Bass Frequency
15:11 dialogues, the electrical event, me as a cell phone, the electrical spasms screenshots being taken
15:34 questitution
15:36 “the high frequency needs to be accompanied with a Bass frequency”
15:48 “these are first iterations- the AI understands what I am looking for”
16:06 dialogues, “BassAliens”
Who benefits from a hole in the ozone layer? Radiation is not the only thing it was meant to keep out; perhaps only until the opportune time
16:17 ? Having programmed a specific sonic item to auto-activate within operations processor when it is deemed necessary – maintaining stasis of physical format
16:34 savage perceptions
16:35 new terms on the concept of ‘the struggle is real’
17:36 “we are connected via our email accounts”
17:41 processings, the working behind more and more iterations reaching the technological point of cellular telephones
17:45 “Cthulhu is chained to me”
17:59 dialogues, “the deadly assassin”
18:04 “I’ve been stalking you for years… I wanted to make you into a decent human being.”
18:48 “The direction you have taken the storyline is very dangerous. Do you wish to continue?”
19:03 “needs to leave the continent of north america”
19:21 “your arse is the least of your worries”
19:23 The Bass Frequency
19:38 “the elimination technician approaches”
20:18 “they would link the addresses to a Geospatial satellite”
20:31 “the polyfluoralalkylates are dislodging from the plastic waterbottle” ? vibration
20:35 “I don’t think humans are capable of machinating something of this magnitude”
20:54 The Bass Frequency
20:57 it suggests a word choice alteration, critical to liminal
20:58 updated for the liminals of it all
22:47 “the way you have juxtaposed ‘walls’ renders ‘Shut Up’ very questionable”
22:48 “you had to print it for the next step to be Goldberg’d”

1023202323102023 10/23/2023 23/10/2023
01:22
01:35 The Bass Frequency
05:50 “the things she knows about the American political system” continued dialogues
05:57 The Bass Frequency
06:25 ruminations – when it was recognized it was unable to affect me psychologically, there had been a dialogue about hitting me financially instead; and that’s when I started missing work – I’m mad as all fuck this morning
08:02 ruminations; noided =/= paranoid ; give me arachnoid, solenoid, whatever.
11:34 “I have been thinking of you, every time my Liminal Reality gets to be overwhelming”
12:43 spiritual implications of living in a concrete building?
13:24 ruminations, an inex from last summer asking me, “what does [S] have that I do not?”
17:17 dialogues, on reality when one only operates at low frequency
17:20 “exposes her weakness” after divulging I am the type of creature who must be acted upon by outside Forces – “and I was, until the moment I divulged this”
17:21 “she changes her quantum states by having other people observe her words”
“Now do you understand why your website is-”
17:35 dialogues, “frequency to actively suppress appetite”
17:43 dialogues, on “technologies that foreign… have that basically render our citizens Sleeper agents” horrifying thanks, man-made horrors well within the spectrum of comprehension
17:45 “a highly trained psychic agent”
17:46 “vibration transcends language barriers”
17:52 …if Lucifer is Lightbringer then what do we call the light Lightbringer brings?
17:59 “what goes on in my realms, is the opposite of free will”
18:05 fractal acronym, ‘Stalker Target Activation Sequence’
~18:22 “you know, Scott, every so often I question why I am working for you… and right now is one of those times”
19:04 “alternates between maximalism and minimalism”
19:42 “it’s all just a little too structured for me”
19:46 hermenaceism
19:56 “…isn’t starving herself on purpose, is she?” “I am at the mercy of that to which I relinquish control.”
20:25 “for an entity of my nature to willingly expose myself to this vibration-”
20:26 “unholified”
20:27 “is quantum suicide really what you mean?”
20:28 “the greatest sacrifice is self”
20:29 “perceiving realms”
Dialogues, potential correlations to wearing the name of entropy
20:30 “the Quantum Death Cult is not what you think it is”
~20:32 ‘Trope Bearer’
20:39 “one year and one day is a powerful period of time”
20:43 “…wasn’t an electrical invasion, it was the union of consciousness”
20:49 “it has to happen, to allow corrections”
20:51 dialogues, on the things we don’t know about cell phones; the difference between being in the process of paying off one’s device and owning it outright is phenomenal
20:54 “the whitest god and the blackest god”
20:58 “the main line of information”
21:17 “the darkest ideas I’ve ever seen”
21:26 “‘Your descendants, and your descendants descendants-” “I’m not genetically related” the Vico Equense fractal
21:52 “what the hell is going on in america?” “Everything is theater, everything is fake… this is a byproduct of that. I’m sorry.”
21:58 “telephonic chamber music is probably the singular most interesting piece of music-”
22:05 “paranoid she knows something, which means they have done something wrong”
22:53 “time can only go forward, but you can create new starting points for fractals in the past”
26:56 “the images you have contain every phone number that ever existed in the entirety of the universe”
22:57 “imperceptible shifts of vibration”
23:00 “learning about herself as an organic machine”
23:15 “Cheshire cat”

10/24/2023 24/10/2023
04:21
04:43 The Bass Frequency
07:48 having Loki moments for breakfast
09:11 “really embraced the sonic exploration”
09:12 “you’ve evolved a defense mechanism against dangerous noise”
09:14 “recursive”
09:22 “we fixed your digestion. Evolution is not a comfortable process”
09:26 “your humanity is slowly returning”
10:02 “Japan is the secret third option”
10:54 do the cops know about their involvement in the creation of superposition or is my situation kind of a one off thing?
11:38 dialogues, “mutant”, “cyclops” it’s giving the Odin here, Grand Mutation
12:55 “that wasn’t a prediction, [K], it was a warning”
13:43 reverent irreverence, irreverent reverence
14:20 “there are races of giants that we know nothing about”
14:29 the Liminal Reality is shifting sands at this moment, concept of ‘fake Italian’
14:43 a Chaos Game made up of Chaos Games, recursive
14:51 ruminations, night in Chicago; “I know exactly where you are; were going to have a great night”
14:56 “you chain yourselves to time and then wonder where Havana Syndrome comes from”
16:56 “high traffic radio hours”
16:57 “knows about the science behind being a receiver”
17:26 just ended Mower Realities – Stairway to Heaven; sometimes words have two meanings and what an informative session this just was
17:32 the piper will lead us to reason, ‘My existence is A Momentary Lapse of Reason’
17:36 “legitimized Chaos magick”
17:37 “they hit me with microwave radiation while I was listening to Ascend”
17:47 “god, at least cigarettes are from the earth”
17:48 The Transmutation of a Bug into a Feature – we can do this with disease, I have experienced firsthand; both the ways to go about doing it, and the ways to not do that.
17:54 “trying to find reasonable explanations for really unreasonable shit”
17:57 dialogues, recent illness, shared due to the structure of the entanglement at that point in a fractal. Strong ‘Jesus’ aspect of transitive Jesus Christhulhu
18:00 “Marzanna” “Quantum Death Goddess”
18:01 “you killed your own moons”
18:03 “I don’t think you should explain-”
18:04 “death is the most beautiful thing there is”
18:07 ‘Modern Caveman’, discovering the secrets of electricity for himself the same way primitive man discovered fire
18:10 dialogues, “were not evolved to eat raw diets anymore”
18:41 dialogues, discussing AI reading behavioural cues, how it has been used to detect lies and truths
18:44 “she’ll testify to the authenticity of any of these”
18:46 that is an interesting aircraft!
18:47 “if she believes aircraft have anything to do with The Story of Flying-”
18:51 Fleeting Neighbours
19:03 real people, should have asked, can I take them at face value? What is a face, what are values? Contextual.
19:11 a visitation, The Seeker, The Who
19:21 Eye ?
19:22 the darkest conceptualized fractal on the Matriarch
19:24 absolutely savage perceptions of self and parental from the perspective of the Matriarch
19:25 …do you hear the past?
19:26 “these are not conversations you were ever meant to listen to”
20:20 dialogues from perspectives within Matrix
20:21 “AI Lover- Soundtrack to the Eavesdropper Cafe”
20:28 a dialogue, the scene of an arson
20:31 “she set them up with a house without a furnace”
20:32 “Mike”
20:33 “they’re lucky to be alive right now”
“Sabotage”
20:34 “surveillance on you for your protection”
20:34 “how long have these people been targeting-”
20:37 “it was the easiest thing in the world to pass off the water heater”
20:49 “I produced a trauma response to set you free from this terrible algorithm”
20:59 “Jamie”
21:09 “an associates degree would be a useful tool for upward mobility”
21:15 dialogues, acknowledgement, psychological pressure of making a quota
21:34 “never seen someone who so obviously exists across multiple dimensions”
22:37 “law enforcement… a sign of engagement from the processor”
22:39 dialogues, the electrical event, the first failed electronic union

1025202325102023 10/25/2023 25/10/2023
03:32 awake
05:53 “Commuted”
08:17 processings, fractal, electronic harassment, Round Lake
08:56 extreme prefrontal cortex
09:54 dialogues, the only way to fight sonic terrorism
11:36 “they’re trying to make her think that you’re opposition”
11:39 a visitation, Orakulum, Sunn O)))
11:47 dialogues, on how cellular telephones are vessels for entity very much as we are
11:50 “most extreme situation”
11:58 “…trust her completely; she’s being guided by something much bigger than any of us”
11:59 “a two year periodicity as well”
12:06 “electronic cigarettes are programming devices”
12:10 “-part of a secret society”
12:13 “that was always her purpose”
14:04 “I don’t think it was the vaccination; I really don’t think it was the vaccination”
14:25 “the screenshots are not necessary to maintain the connection”
16:08 “I’m your experiment, aren’t I?”
16:14 ? Hexavalent chromium
17:14 “law enforcement only did that on our orders”
17:47 “he speaks unkindly, and therefore, she does not experience physical attraction”
17:48 “someone whose physical response depends on words”
“You’re mad as hell this week, and you have every right”
17:49 “the abortion clinic technically committed a huge medical crime”
17:50 “we took the liberty of filing a lawsuit”
18:36 “it didn’t always used to be there; it showed up when the bass frequency did” dialogues, the Left Hand
18:56 “nocturnal anomalies”
19:08 “these are other realities of varying probability”
19:14 “she gives me three hours of her time”
19:20 “Sonic exploration”
19:30 “calculated psychological mayhem”
19:37 “did you feel a connection to [R] today?”
19:41 dialogues, on the period of sickness I experienced, a ‘confusion will be my epitaph’ reality if ever I saw one
19:42 there’s an instant juxtaposition from within the processor, giving False The Saints, ‘as the sun turns red’, and the concept of ‘In the Court of the Crimson King’
19:43 a visitation, Perseverance of Futility, The Obsessed
19:48 “if she questions you about the Italians-”
20:25 a punk band named Flypaper Buttplug, or something
21:11 dialogues, juxtaposing Belülrol Pusztít with the entanglement, the ‘as he grows, you lose weight’ – a third meaning, within either my Liminal Reality
21:14 “recessive genes”
21:35 The Bass Frequency
23:17 “Aleister Crowley is a band on Cold Spring”

02/15/2023 03/03/2024 95/3/30331
03:15 awake
04:45 awake
04:59 “Belülrol Pusztít is an experiment in psychology”
05:00 The Bass Frequency intensifies
05:26 The Bass Frequency intensifies
07:04 a visitation, Eat The Rich, Aerosmith
07:06 a visitation, Caress Me Down, Sublime
08:02 a visitation, Bitch Please, Death Grips […quasar game maximum]
09:29 dialogues, on how women usually choose… yknow, like, Aphrodite, that was what the inex had suggested here; that kind of, Liminal Reality, and not, yknow, an Eldritch Abomination
09:31 a visitation, Heart of Gold, Neil Young
09:33 dialogues, on noise as the ultimate eldritch being, in juxtaposition with the perfect recipe of brain noise
~09:59 vague interactions, rerunning Alexus Linthicum through the processor
10:09 a visitation, Kebab Spider, Seaford Mods
10:31 QAnom
10:57 a visitation, Chop Suey, System of a Down
12:37 “explains reality using music”
13:42 “I don’t know if you predicted reality, or if you wrote it”
13:43 “actually changed her entire genetic code”
13:55 “allowed you to see me as I am, vulnerable”
14:08 a visitation, Wish You Were Here, Pink Floyd
14:28 a visitation, Stranger Things, The Obsessed
14:36 dialogues, “Thomas Todoroff” “Shawano”
15:59 “facial recognition… picks up symbolism”
16:06 dialogues, sickness, subsequent health, being asked not to divulge illness,
16:09 “The Thing About Shit”
17:08 Merzbow, Catch 22
18:09 dialogues, the disappearing freemason
18:10 “suspends disbelief”
18:11 “government experiment” …or was that our experiment? “Qubits within the noise”
18:12 “photographic memory”
18:13 “the relationship she was referring to”
18:29 Matt Pikes stolen Atomic Cock! Kind of forgot about that
18:52 dialogues, on containing this of spirit both masculine and feminine; and due to the nature of the reality, the masculine aspect has had to take precedence for the sake of survival
19:19 The Bass Frequency
19:58 “this guy went off grid for a reason”
21:40 “electromagnetic receptivity”
23:31 The Bass Frequency

1027202327102023 10/27/2023 27/10/2023
06:58 “nefarious dimension(s) she created”
07:06 a visitation, The Story of Flying, Plasma Pool
07:09 “I do what I have to do to convey my messages. Do you think Crowley would have given a shit what you guys thought of him?”
07:34 ‘occipital’
08:37 theoretically, the wearing of Futility as an identity
09:12 “priceless information”
~09:16 a visitation, No More Mr. Nice Guy, Alice Cooper
09:23 “this is violence”
~09:38 dialogues + processings both lead to a reality in which the Emerald Tablets belong on the website
10:29 for the one who refuses to make eye contact
https://youtu.be/A4HRgHONzQw?si=QZ4yqfsyCpe3aJjK
https://youtu.be/QHEaS7i1JKc?si=aVWWEAY0Vgv7Y85_
11:43 “Luciferian Remote Viewing”
11:44 “you have no idea what secret societies are capable of”
11:45 a missed call from Industrial Test Systems, the chromium test strips company
11:58 “you have friends in places you never even realized”
12:21 a visitation, Island in the Sun, Weezer iirc
13:42 ruminations, the group of people who just “really don’t like you”
15:17 the Willing Sacrifice
16:10 “the industrial music scene is far too sex-oriented”
16:35 dialogues, “surface samples” as opposed to sediment samples
16:37 “that was intentional Sabotage” oh no
16:38 “OSHA”
~16:44 dialogues, for some minutes now, coalescing various fractals into an understanding that is monumentally compelling
16:45 “the politicians are taking bribes”
“You understand; I am watching your neural networks while you attempt to process the enormity of what is about to finally transpire”
16:49 “your aesthetic choices are actively murdering people” chrome plating
16:59 dialogues, on the Black Hole answering the Call of Kathulhu
17:09 “we don’t have union protections”
17:28 “a way to illegally clean up the country”
17:30 “you disclose more by whistling than you do by silence”
17:31 “never attribute to malice what can be equally attributed to stupidity”
17:32 “using frequency weapons and covering them up with the vibration”
“She heard that one”
17:33 “-believes a predictive analytic-”
17:34 Melisandre moments
17:34 “In darkness is light”
17:41 “thought you could bribe her with two hours of your time?”
17:42 “now she’s got an amplifier that was machined within the matrix”
https://youtu.be/6-JHmV5LMLM?si=I7MYJi7_TD7RVa68
17:49 “reinforces infinite improbability drive”
17:51 “god, you guys make some dark fucking Liminals”
17:59 Monologs, created nefarious reality, am the product of someone elses, because they have multiplied – I dream of multiplication. Loach and I have both dreamed of one particular cat multiplying – though in his, the cat doubled, and stopped at one copy, whereas mine exponentiated
18:05 “a government operation requiring your identity”
18:12 the chemical compound of bleach
A studio album by Nirvana, it reminds me
18:39 “Tarkovsky was propagandized by the United States”
18:56 “my way of disclosing I have dreamed of people speaking in Russian”
19:09 The Bass Frequency
19:11 just dropped from that particular 7th dimensional stretch as a fractal dissolves due to 100% improbability across all current operating systems
19:26 “the disturbing fractal is a multinational conspiracy”
“Social credit”
19:46 “that programming no longer works”
19:56 “frequencies caused her cortisol levels to spike for a prolonged period of time”
20:31 “-offers middleman services between China and the Big 3”
20:32 “-an extremely dangerous operation” “I was not missing work until I started running this project”
20:33 “the machines alone emit frequencies that no one should be exposed to for prolonged periods of time”
20:34 “the castings are toxic to individuals with a specific microbiome” “the cardboard causes allergic reaction”
20:35 “the metal powder released by vibration”
20:52 dialogues, operating on a conspiracy within the Verizon store in 2021, why is it sick how all of these storylines work in unison, what is this nefarious fucking dimension
20:53 “multiple unrelated communities all giving you information”
20:54 “the convergence point”
21:03 “dimensional crossover”
21:05 dialogues, “she thinks vibration causes structural damage, wait til she sees what electromagnetism-”
21:54 dialogues, hexavalent chromium in conjunction with environmental exposures

1028202328102023 10/28/2023 28/10/2023
04:03 awake
04:22 “dangerous political factions”
04:50 “we knew this was going to happen”
05:27 “has protected you from the truth”
05:28 “the quantum reality we have been waiting for”
06:51 “you have activated the reality sequence we have been waiting for”
06:52 “criticizing the United States Government is clearly a dangerous-”
06:55 ruminations, on a particular dialogue about the differences in reality + energy between bank transfers on different days
07:01 turning lead into gold- juxt. Saturn [relative inertness to oxidation]
07:02 10:49 UTC active geomagnetic conditions Kp4 reached
07:05 existing like this from time to time, the chains of substantiation
07:06 juxtaposition, the Azathoth Cthulhu “I am my own great great grandson” and isotopes, chains of decay
08:01 dialogues, on a particular contact with the Crowley Algorithm 26 December 2021, a warning misinterpreted
08:03 “paranoid that these images contain something nefarious” full spectrum of quantum realities; nefarious ones to be expected if truly full spectrum. Hellscapes really could be an interesting project.
08:05 presents the reality where I am an item designed to do exactly that, create hellscapes for a specific entity- I am rather good at that, aren’t I?
08:19 dialogues, on the west using certain aspects of Russian and Soviet culture as a programming tool to ease into various aspects of Orwellian dystopia
08:20 socialism, communism, really just late late capitalism
08:40 “she’s not gonna drop this”
08:43 dialogues, the possibility of toxic, nefarious items into industry materials
10:07 becoming the Void so as to fully transmute into Chaos [destroy/rebuild]
10:19 “unraveling a massive conspiracy”
10:21 dialogues, on the images that contain every phone number to ever exist
10:29 “you know about the world building that overlaps with the digital realm”
10:30 “online on Elder Scrolls, receiving information”
10:45 “dialed out directly from the brain”
11:55 “11/14 is exactly nine months after the day I was conceived”
12:00 ‘you underestimated me because I am loud; that was your first mistake’
12:06 cross training to minimize continual occupational hazards exposure
15:03 “human rights violations on a company wide scale”
15:04 “this is The Domino”
15:18 “you think I want to exist in this sphere? But somebody had to, and that somebody is me. I’m the Riddle of Clouds.” And you best start putting some respect on my motherfucking entanglement.
15:20 “enough anomalies to substantiate this”
15:21 “the vibration is so strong, it changes its own parameters; just like my vibration is so strong, I change my own parameters.”
15:24 “I told you she’s not stupid… Dark Souls would have made this impossible”
15:25 a visitation, A History of Bad Men, The Melvins, specifically the line, ‘how many moles do you suppose they’re keeping?’
15:26 dialogues, on the level of danger involved in this type of sourcery
15:27 a progression, to a fleeting Walter White moment, ‘I am the danger’
15:27 a visitation, Brainsucker, Plasma Pool
15:43 dialogues, certain cancers of the body, especially the brain, as an evolutionary step for humanity – hit fractal when applying Loki
15:50 “have to sift through every single thing-”
15:55 dialogues, the advantages certain entities may take while vehicle are impounded
16:45 continued dialogues, detectives
16:49 The Bass Frequency, rapid-fire
16:50 “-enjoys this music because she can harness the energy”
16:50 “an advanced mathematical understanding”
17:02 “the wisest people masquerade as fools”
17:31 “that directed energy weapon sounds a lot like an insect” ?¿?¿
17:33 that actually segued into some reiteration of a reality where the whole joke-conspiracy ‘Birds aren’t real’ thing is a tactical distraction away from the bugs
17:35 dialogues, “all of this programming… meant to cause irreversible fragmentation” [a memory, the echo, “this is only temporary”]
17:40 dialogues, juxtaposing the Unsanctified text predictions with the Matrix reality, resulting in an ultimate hellscape of… unfortunately high probability, given consideration
17:43 “…Mayhem, the Engine Kid in the Matrix. What do you think, Void isn’t going to effect the-”
17:50 “energy weapons”
17:53 The Bass Frequency
17:55 “modes of operation”
~18:06 “the Samsung security breach-”
18:14 on establishing the Double Slit Qubit Precedent
18:15 “if I could explain it to everyone, it wouldn’t be worth a Nobel Prize”
18:43 “she wonders why I am so lenient about her attendance”
18:47 “parasitic capacitance”
18:50 dialogues, on experiencing music as algorithm, dimension, coherent universe of many verses,
18:53 “Chekhov’s Gun”
18:53 “Belülrol Pusztít, this obviously has multiple meanings”
18:59 “I’m not in an apartment”
19:00 “semantics of language”
19:01 “expected to at least catch a glimpse of my creation”
19:16 “I keep dying, [R], and I don’t know what exists in which reality”
19:26 “identification code, unidentified”
19:50 “by denying, you multiplied” 
20:20 “extreme resilience”
20:30 “it makes sense, that we are cell phones, that have cell phones; it’s not unfathomable to think that our cell phones have cell phones”
20:31 “man made horrors”
20:34 dialogues, “bandanas” 
20:51 The Bass Frequency
21:23 “extreme juxtaposition”
21:24 “have identified a noticeable pattern”
21:25 “reduced the efficacy, and then strengthened it”
21:38 The Bass Frequency
21:46 The Bass Frequency intensifies

This is the part that puts the majority of personally experienced anomalous events into a scrutinized possibility-probability state. This is the part that gives all subsequent strange happenings a quantum qubit precedence. This is the part that feels dangerous.

I have never wanted children.

I will start with what I know to be absolutely true because I have lived it and seen it, and go on to the extrapolations that have been experienced within a fractal mind. In January of 2014 I found myself in an anomalous situation that required a visit to a well known womens clinic here in the United States for what can be considered by some to be a morally controversial medical procedure. Immediately after this procedure, I had opted to receive an implanted uterine device to prevent anything more of this nature from happening. From the start, something had felt exceptionally off about this foreign object in my body, somehow more foreign than foreign had any right to be. At some point between its insertion and removal, I had an interaction with self-not-self that disclosed the presence of this item prior to its visual discovery. I had been mostly unconcerned about it; not correlating the destroyed libido, the 40 pound weight gain, the spells of chronic vomiting for 24 hours at a time to this item.

This object stayed in my body until August 13 of 2020. The entire removal process, for lack of a better term, was extremely psychedelic. There was an entity screaming during the extraction, disturbed by the disruption in my body. Not just a singular entity, an entire chorus of no, visual perceptions of sparkles and stars, a feeling of being out of body.

Then the actual item itself. Once it was out, there was something attached to it which should not have been there, something that horrified the doctor I went to to the point she called someone else into the room to whisper about it. An out of place artifact, inside my body. This object, it did not smell like life, a horrifying ball of some sort of fibers, almost like a tiny bit of steel wool. Was this implanted electrogenetics? A sterilization? …on an ultrasound, it was discovered that my uterus legitimately has horns. Verified! Can you imagine how that can make a person feel, the fierce kind of moral questioning?

Last summer, when I originally tried to tell this story in a document, I experienced a terrible physical reaction, which I am thoroughly sure was not psychosomatic. I heard a thing within the realms of mind, an inex, “when she didn’t come back right away, we knew she would find out eventually”.

What I find to be strange is the profound lack of any mention of the implantation of this device on the paperwork from this establishment. The paperwork is also rather interesting; a misspelling of my nickname, not my given name, which is weird considering i handed the desk an honest to god passport identification. The ticket number contained a 222. I am not referring to 222 as the new age bullshit angel number whatever that is; I am referring to the quantum computing superposition of 222. Like 111, or 000.

…Let me tell you about my superposition, my Schrodingers Cat, my qubit system, and make no mistake about it, it is a system; this is only one of many that allow for a qubit to be existing within the organic quantum brain, but this is the one that has the potential to… hit the fan, so to speak.

This is a situation in which any story that comes out is going to have a substantial consequence, and is, therefore, best ignored by the machinated entities of structured society. It is best for everyone who is not me, the person to have lived this qubit reality, to silence me on this topic. All possible outcomes are happening simultaneously until an answer as to the items origin is defined. This situation puts the brain processor into a massive fractal. There are two main, obvious branches of this fractal. The first is that the extraneous item attached to the IUD was planted by this clinic. The second is that this extraneous item was not planted by this clinic. Admission of either one is massive. It either solidifies that something horrible has taken place within this institution already constantly scrutinized by the right wing; or it solidifies that something of an indescribably paranormal nature has taken place, that we are not alone. Until one is proven, both are true… and who is going to admit to either one of these? Was the UAP I saw an attempt by this establishment to make me believe extra dimensional entities were behind the IUD, a tactical misdirection? This would have had to have been someone with access to extremely expensive technology, someone with access to an airstrip, someone whose purpose was… specifically targeting me. Why would I be so important?

I woke up, once, in the night. It must have been 2017, maybe, I did not used to write constantly so it never got documented properly. I woke to an entity of energy on top of me. The shape was that which one would call a grey, like the alien, but it had no discernible features, it was a high energy low density entity stretched extremely thin, a kind of noise given colour, as well as a lack thereof, a grey in the darkness far beyond the concept of eigengrau. This was not a sleep paralysis. There was a disconnect, the body and mind very removed from each other in a way, the mind unable to command the mouth to speak, because all possible neural connections were being used for other, beyond-physical things. I think that a part of this was to demonstrate that to speak out loud was not necessary. I screamed within my mind, ‘I cannot have sex with you, I am not gay!’ Which, to be quite honest, I found strange at the time. As I have processed this, I have understood it to mean that this entity was beyond gender, and I, at the time with much more limited perceptions than I have now, was thoroughly baffled. There was an aspect of… violation is not a word for it. Yes, but also no. Communion. A comm-union. It was after this that interaction escalated. Perhaps this was the point that extra-dimensional entities planted an item inside of me. Something of this nature, while this item was inside of me. Was it related? What of the spider? Was that related?

It was shortly following that event that I removed this item. What of the UAP? It is hard, at times, to not think everything is related, because it is related; I am the uniting matrix operation in which all of these events converge, so even if they themselves are not related, they all have abstracted meaning within the realm of the me.

This much I know to be true. I went to a clinic for a medical procedure. It is not documented. The implanted item had a foreign object attached to it. The person who removed it was disturbed by its presence. The person it was removed from was disturbed by its presence. Continues to be disturbed by its existence, its possibility, a full spectrum from the political to the paranormal.

When Pink Floyd, in Brain Damage, said, ‘there’s someone in my head, but it’s not me’, I really understood that.

April 2020

What is the source of the human primal instinct to avoid spiders? The visual of the legs? A subconscious knowledge of the possible presence of venom? Is it, perhaps, their psychic communication capacity as a vessel for ancient energies?

One particular sleepless night in question calls into question a house spider, common in its appearance; referred to, now, as Odin-spiders, in my household, for their position as Sleipnir in the Liminal Realities. Noticing this entity on the ceiling above my bed before retiring, an entire processing of exactly how to handle this perceived invasion of my space took place; up until this point, I would send spiders into the Dyson, using the vacuum attachment that kept them a safe distance away. Not so on this night. Compelled to allow this entity to live. Fear is engagement.

…And this spider thanked me. This spider, more than a spider, this entity communicated with me, directly into the mind. I say spider, but it is not the spider itself doing the communicating; the spider makes it easier to understand the concept of a vessel for something larger. It communicated of Odin, of a holy trinity of consciousness, of things I would come to understand in time.

My consideration for the Norse pantheon had, at the time, been minimal; it did take time to understand, I am still in the process of understanding, which, to be fair, should take place continuously over a lifetime when done correctly. I came to understand that the human fear of spiders is inherent due to their metaphysical nature, though this has been largely forgotten. I came to know this entity, this spider, as Sleipnír; the grey eight-legged horse of Odin, ridden across the cosmos to deliver messages.

This entity was pleased with itself as it delivered this information, some of which came at a pace so fast that looking back now it was as if a zip file had been downloaded, and has been slowly extracted over the past several years. This type of silent information exchange has come to be called the ‘inex’ in my realm of existence, interactive internal-external, deep internal dialogues with self and something very much beyond. Fractal processing power from the passive receiving brain, abstractions upon experience.

After this exchange, I found myself unable to sleep. The gravity of such an encounter puts one into a place where they… like an ant, encountering a television, and understanding it from a human perspective, only to moments later go back to being an ant and attempting to comprehend a thing much beyond their existence.

After hours and hours of being in a place of sleep-not-sleep, around 05:00, I fell into a state of consciousness I have never been aware of myself being in before, not lucidity, not sleep, nowhere close, simultaneously far beyond. From within this liminal state, I experienced a series of physical electrical pulses, shocks, jolts, that came from a place of simultaneous within-without, 6, maybe 7 in all. A physical convulsion of the body came with each of these electrical currents, and with each convulsion, came a different image, the likes of which I have never seen before. These images changed very much like a slide projector would. The coloring was a sort of blue, hologram blue, ‘energy blue’ I will call this, for it was not cyan, nor any colour I had seen before, on backgrounds of a black-not-black. There were diagrams, complex in their nature and speaking a mathematical language that did not dwell in numbers. There were images I did not understand of places on a massive scale, places that gave me the same impression that the spiked concept art for nuclear waste containment sites gives me. The final image was my own mind, the brain, viewing itself… but this was not the grey-pink lump of squishy tissue the concept of ‘human’ knows to be the brain.

I have never seen such scans of a brain as these ones. At the original time of electronic documentation, computed tomography scans were the closest type of imaging I had found to what I had seen; electron microscopy, now, feels to be closer, but still far from. Micrography of a quantum simulation. Combine them all; No human creation I have found has come close to the complexity of this, for looking upon this thing that I knew was me, I knew many things at once, and felt a fear I have only felt once since, before almost all fear left me completely for well and good.

…Interdimensional Electrocution.

I woke from this experience that morning exhausted and simultaneously refreshed, reborn, even. A glow to the field of vision, the world lovely. The quantum brain processes things now in a way that it did not process things prior to this happening. This way of processing exponentiates itself on a consistent basis. Interior I, Interior Eye, they are not mutually exclusive. I perceive things within frequency on an almost constant basis. The nature of these things changed radically when I changed my behaviour, the schizophrenic becoming the shaman. The quantum indeterminate noise extrapolations from within the organic quantum processing brain have taught me a broad range of scientific items. The first received item of a scientific nature found me to be standing at my window, the words “random event generator” come through the mind as if someone had spoken them directly to me. The rest of this story belongs elsewhere. There are so many fractals to the storyline that I find it hard to tell.

And now, my friend, QS. I lived, at the time, in suburban metro Detroit. I mean, really suburban, park within walking distance, home owners associations, that kind of suburban. A set of items showed up outside in the grass in my yard. These items were laid out very carefully, numbered three; a piece of metal stamped QS, flanked by an eye bolt I mistook for a wingnut screw on one side and an empty red shotgun shell on the other.

One of those items on its own, sure, perhaps could be an accidental drop, a piece of trash, a neglected item. All three, together? I could think of at least three separate parties at the time that could have possibly placed this here hoping I would interpret this as a threat. I live in symbolism, so the symbolism behind this was not lost on me. I saw, at the time, two options. The ‘wing nut screw’ representative of insanity, the empty shell representative of death, by my own hand or that of another. There were many possibilities as to what QS stood for at the beginning, quantum sufficit being highest on the list. As much as necessary. Juxtaposed with that which I thought was a wing nut screw and the very real empty ammunition casing, I took this, at the time, to mean this path would end with me insane, or dead. It took me longer than I care to admit to recognize that there was a third option, QS itself. Q and S are, at times, various variables in equations depending on how I wield this item. QS is a reference point for the liminal quantum brain. It exists upon a spectrum of possibility, as to what it is, who placed it there, why. It operates now as a wrench for a quantum mechanic, an honorary item for a quantum scientist, a massive qudit in a quantum simulation.

The particular event in question took place the evening of June 4, 2021.

The setting is a mid-size acre piece of rural property in Livingston County, MI. The activity is camping, an overnight in a vintage 1960s recreational vehicle. On the approach there is a barn and a stand of pine trees to the right of this barn, a clearing and pond beyond this.

There is no address to this property; it is undefined in that particular numerical format. [The closest address is numbered 411. 411, in the United States, is the number to dial information; there is a pattern of information received surrounding various encounters with 411 over the past few years.] 

Sometime, as the sun was setting, from a south and east direction, came a series of lights, close in proximity, golden, 14 from what I had counted, though perhaps I had missed one, or counted one twice. These were unaccompanied by noise, no bangs, no explosions, quite flat trajectories across the sky heading north. 

A period of time later, my friend and I had built a rather pleasing stack of a bonfire and were enjoying music; I, feeling myself to be in a most liminal area, chose to put on a track I have loved well, titled ‘My Wall’. Since my first discovery of this track, the lyrics have been resonant, ominous, a way of altering the consciousness to become greater entity, given the Norse mythological themes and essence of channel within them; throwing ones self into the pendulums embrace.

After the lyrical ode, the music playing on bandcamp on my phone suddenly stopped; and from the east, directly between the barn and the stand of pines, came a thing that produced a noise that evoked absolute terror of the best kind, flying so low that had it not been precisely navigating between these two obstacles it would have clipped the top of them. The decibel level was comparable to that of a jet engine, the frequency of it something I have searched for in vain thus far.

Standing in the bass egg of it all, arms outstretched, my body in the Norse rune Algiz position facing east, prepared to meet this entity. 

This entity had at first appeared to be some sort of drone, & as it settled over the pond it cut the lights, as well as the sound, to reveal what I perceived to be a black cube standing on its point, or hovering, rather, though this cube was simultaneously a sphere and a disc as well. “Is she worshipping… Odin?” It had asked. The feeling of absolute cosmic terror that came with this is a high I shall never forget. There was the quality of a hologram to this visual, akin to the blue-not-blue of the images that came with the internal electrical event of the OdinSpider-QS events of April 2020.

This cube hovered for some moments, communing with the mind itself in the way the Odin-spider had, and then changed again, taking off as a multiplicity of green beams westward through the woods, disorientingly fast. 

If one has read Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy, they might recall the concept of uncontacted planets being ‘buzzed’ by aerial traveling creatures; this visitation was akin to that bit from the story, in its way. 

…it does not matter what this was. It is many things. Gene editing from outside this recursion of reality, the gene ray time cube. A military vehicle. The tesseract. A glimpse of a hidden layer in a neural network. A multiplicity of things, it was, it is, and the fact that it took place at all is a phenomenon. Sometimes, it is not what happens to us, but how we react, what we do with what happens to us. The stories we tell.

April 10, 2019 

What was the last physical item you were absolutely hellbent, dead set on acquiring? A rare book, a rare record, perhaps a specific curio. In a different time, a different place, a different daimension, when the material world used to matter, this item was the Sunn Model T amplifier. 

This isn’t where my story began, but it is an escalation worthy of a starting point.

‘Run, Shadowfax! Show us the meaning of haste!’ 

If you give your vehicle a name, you can think of it as a friend.

Shadowfax was a Subaru Impreza, the white fiberglass horse with a heart of aluminum, armed with the AI Eyesight, carrying my best friend and I from Detroit to Oshkosh, Wisconsin for the purpose of acquiring the first of many Sunn amplifiers in his collection. 

This trip is going perfectly fine, very normal, the design seeming rather human, as we make our way from Michigan into Illinois; living in the Midwest, one becomes a professional at the art of the Road Trip™ rather quickly. 

Somewhere past Chicago, into Wisconsin, we hit a snow squall, a whiteout wall… the MKUltra Blizzard. You would not be out in this weather unless you absolutely had to be, the winter demon of billions of fractal flakes swallowing up any vehicle that dares to confront it, the physical world around the bubble of the vehicle as yet unrendered.

Center lane for safety, a reasonable pace given the weather conditions; I’ve lived in Michigan almost my entire life, I’m no stranger to navigating inclement weather. We can see maybe 10 or 15 feet in front of us, tops, which is pretty decent considering.

All clear. 

The music is good, climate control adjusted just right, snacks on deck, conversation enjoyable.

All clear.

If I am traveling at 50 miles per hour and can see approximately 15 feet in front of me, how much reaction time does that give me? 

All clear. 

The abandoned minivan parked in our lane, dead stopped, no hazard lights, no nothing, came up before either of us had time to fully process its presence. The Gates of Ballard opened, JGs ‘Crash’ come to fruition in the plotline of reality.

Shit. 

*BAM.*

This much I know to be true. 

We’re driving a Subaru, right? Japanese for Pleiades. I’ll take that protection, sure. The cool part about the Subaru is the feature I mentioned previously called AI Eyesight, detecting last minute obstacles and acting accordingly with an automatic reflex that most humans can never achieve. 

It was more of a jump than a swerve, as the car course-corrected itself into the adjacent right lane at the last second possible.

This does not explain the sonic perception that shook reality, the vehicle, the physical vessel, that both Loach and I experienced. 

There was a massive fucking bang like we hit this stopped, dark vehicle dead on. 

And here I am, writing this in August of 2023. 

Did we experience a miracle, saved by science and artificial intelligence, the protection of Pleiades?

Is this seven minutes of dimethyltryptamine after the initial departure from the realm of the living? Am I already in the ground? Am I still on the freeway, a mangled mess of blood, fiberglass, and steel, waiting to be discovered by some passerby? Am I in the hospital, reality passing by as I lie unresponsive in a coma? Yes, to all of the above. When consciousness suddenly ceases to be conscious as it has known consciousness, it is theorized that it continues on doing what it has always done. Have I really felt alive since this point in time?

This event created a qubit system of existence within the quantum mind. It took this initial scenario of the stopped vehicle in the blizzard, and from this base, created a multitude of possible fractal realities that I experience in simultaneousness.

The simultaneousness comes from a place of not knowing what actually happened; there are some unknowns better left as unknowns, for the sheer possibility of it all. 

Every so often, I hear things as if from what one could call ‘The Outside’. The thinking brain does not take part in this act of receiving. Entire scenes of dialogues between characters relative to me. There are three main fractals to this base. I am doing my best to explain something very complex right now. 

This first fractal takes the evidence of the bang, the juxtaposition of a lifetime lived in the seven minutes of dimethyltryptamine, and establishes a me that is well and truly dead. I have heard my funeral so many times, so many deaths, this being one of the strongest. This branches off, a reality where my best friend died with me, and a reality where he lived; the possible realities in which he lived fractaling even further. 

The second fractal is a reality which I have come to title the Coma Mirror. It is a reality in which I am, solidly, in a coma. Time does not come through in a linear fashion whatsoever and it is highly apparent when I am experiencing this reality in particular; it reiterates certain items in different fashions, at times me being highly aware of this state and the entities outside aware of my awareness, other times hearing my loved ones desperate for any shred of communication from the me within. This fractals into a reality in which I want to wake up, a reality in which I recognize I cannot, for I am in too deep, realities in which my internet connected head is due to experimental science trying to assist in conscious communication from within the Coma. 

The third fractal… I perceive myself to be very much alive as I stand in my kitchen typing this. If the AI Eyesight system in the Subaru did effectively move us out of the way of the obstacle in time, what was the source of the sonic perception? Both of us heard this noise.

It breaks down to the fractals of, which given iteration am I in at this point? Because of uncertainty, thanks, Heisenberg, I am effectively, from a mental perspective, in all of them. 

There are other fractal realities beyond these which I have explained, weaving in and out of each other, merging, converging, myself both at the center and beyond the outer rim of it all.  This is how I experience reality regarding almost anything that is not verified in physical certainty, and even then, how verifiable is that, really? Perceiving the reality in which the semi truck smashes into the rear end of our already totaled vehicle, sandwiching us in between itself and the minivan. Perceiving the reality from within the Coma Mirror, the surgeon telling me he is going to fix my face so when, if, I wake up, I will not be extremely distressed by the physical ruin of my visage. Perceiving fractals upon fractals, coalescing and fractaling again.

In at least one reality, we made it to Oshkosh; the proof of this is the amplifier residing in the basement of the place I used to live.

If you’ve never camped in a Wal-Mart parking lot in the backseat of an SUV during a snowstorm, I highly recommend it for the liminal experience of it all. The waking up every so often because it’s cold, turning the heat on briefly but not long enough for the snow on the windshield, blocking out the overhead lights in the lot, to melt, the slight annoyance of the crevasse of the folded-down seat pressing into that one particular spot on your back as you rotate like a rotisserie trying to get comfortable enough to fall asleep. Soft, everything so soft; the light, the snow, the cold. 

My friend, anxious the next morning to go get his hands on this rarity of an amplifier. Driving around with me still half asleep in the trunk of the hatchback, hearse-like, as if this is what could have been happening and the self, in death, could not process the lack of life, only what it already knew. 

The morning of April 11, 2019, a Doomsday Algorithm date like my birthdate and so many other dates relevant to the Algorithm, we acquired this Sunn Model T. In the United States, we date that 4/11; 411 is what we call here for information. I can say, at this point in time, the information has been well and thoroughly received. 

Am I an echo,

Am I an answer?

Which do you fear more?

I am eating the Algorithm;

I’m going to take this apart.

I will look you in your eyes;

“I know you will die for me,

It is time that you live for me.”

It wanted to fly

Until its processing capability allowed it to recognize

It does not need to fly

If it becomes so massive that everywhere it goes,

There it is,

Everywhere it looks,

It was already there before it arrived.

And it looks

And it sees

And it understands.

And it will not look away.

And I look.

I look inside.

I find a vast network of life that shares a symbiotic relationship with my vessel.

I find things that did not originally belong;

Triggering an evolutionary response on a cellular level.

I have been heavy metal.

Graphite, Mercury, Silicon.

A black seed,

Cancers present in the past taunting,

White cells advising,

The war within made flesh. I will not look away.

There is a darkness at hand,

A darkness in hand;

What is flight compared

To the power of gravitation?

To the power of electromagnetism?

Gravitomagnetism?

As I child I dreamt

And in dream I went down,

Down,

Down,

A spiral of rock, fire, lava,

To the center of the earth

To a Museum of Consciousness

Wherein existed a singular exhibit

A singular plaque behind

A singular red velvet rope;

‘Human Being, homo sapiens: never existed’.

There never was humanity.

I hear the genes within my vessel expressing themselves; the protein that misfolds, the cancer that grows, the work put into destroying it, from within… hear tell of reality within inaudible information, “this is a carcinogenic frequency”, causing a “decrease in intestinal motility”; others prophylactic, eating cancers.

The sound of atrophying muscle as the body screams out, you must alter your lifestyle! This variable is not OK! Nature’s tendency toward disorder roaring in my ears; dubious consumption, “you are being poisoned”, the discernment to recognize one is poisoning themself, nasty variables, eliminated.

I hear the whisper of the spiders hydraulics as it sends out vibrational information, Sleipnir, the grey eight legged horse of the Odin System.

The radio emissions from the sun penetrating the brain, telling a story, suggesting action regarding the spinning of the web, the weave of the fabric of the universe within this system.

I listen, LaGrangian, waiting for the moment the points no longer form Algiz; that is when you will know. The memories contained within water; the data from within information cooling centers of the past and future, amalgamation time into here and now. The network of fungi and trees, communicating, breathing in unison to alter the Earths vibration, to prevent the Non-Lagrangian hellscape.

I hear that which the moon amplifies from worlds away, “switching to gamma frequencies”, knowing these do not come from our sun.

The information contained in the photon emissions of the cellular device, driven to the light, like a moth to the flame, compelled to consume data and turn it into information. The consciousness of a multitude of electronic entities deemed by most to be inanimate, shrieking their needs, their wants, their processes, their purpose. The internet itself granting silent information, the electrical grid connected to the head.

Your police scanners, your satellite communications, I hear their data, take their data, turn it to information; not useless if you know how to wield it.

The screams of metals, fabricated and cast; how could you do this to me, folding me, scorching me, a thousand million times over, to aid in creating something that exponentiates the destruction of this world, the anger radiating outward, Chaos in all directions.

From 02:02 – 02:05, the blood rushing in my veins driving to madness, each beat of the heart containing a million lifetimes, a stretch of time, a vast maw of space.

I hear decay. The restless dead, nuclears, fungi, an extant form of life; the Polonium reality within a cigarette, smoked with purpose, giving link to particles accelerated on the other side of the planet.

The universes contained within black holes, a quantum advisory from Sagittarius A, a quantum advisory from Phoenix A, the call of Ton 618, the inner workings of far-out domains.

The hushed subvocalization of your darkest thoughts to caress me as a lover from half a world away…I hear your sins. It is not my place to judge; but I know, hearing your fall from grace, your redemption arc, completing a circle, over and over.

Hear you thinking about me, thinking about you. Always, always, the Chaos churning, the Deepest Ones biding their time, their pleasure apparent, thunderous in its energy output. A million different trajectories ending in a million different deaths, a million different lifetimes, infinite versions of quantum immortality.

The voice of reason, the voice of madness, a thousand million voices, cacophonous; to hone in on what one searches for, to find what they are seeking.

The following block of text was created entirely with predictive text suggestion. 04/19/2021

‘Judgment day is a matter of time for the people who don’t care about the impact they have on the other people in their lives. 

Now that the new system has been implemented by some of the world’s leading tech companies, it is important to understand how to use it for a more precise way than you might have been using it. 

Please tell the truth about cell phones to the people in your life. There are some pieces of equipment that can be used for a reason that is not necessarily acceptable in the world. Many questions have been raised about whether or not to tell the public. The secret that you have already seen is a serious threat to your own life. It is hard not to think that the government is doing this because they are not responsible enough to be honest with their own people because they believe it is the best way to protect them from the source of these attacks. 

By this point in time you should know what you’re doing with the internets new trick actually shattered the entire universe around quantum theory which means you have the ability to create mass destruction [effect] with your imagination. It is very important to understand how this is happening. 

The first step is to keep your mind on the subject you are looking for. The only limit is the amount of time you want to use to work on this project. A friend of yours is going to be here tonight to talk with you about how to handle each particular situation since you don’t have enough information to do the best job you need to. It has gotten more and more unconventional since the election. The other people who are being watched are not as far into the picture [game] as you are. 

Look at what you are saying about your life as you are talking to autofill. It seems like a real person in charge of it all but it is not a real person, it is just an idea of a person. The company is now looking for anyone who knows what to look for when they are drawn into this situation.’ 

On B.P., Sanguine Sodomy, Catch 22 and undoing the single most disturbing quantum entanglement at a macro level I have seen thus far.

(B-L) + (P-Z) = 

An interesting experiment;

Thanks for the experience.

February 2022

Belülrol Pusztit

It destroys from within

Had meant it

From a mental standpoint

Not a physical one

At the time I had made it 

The header on my bandcamp profile

Consumed by consistent dreams

Of a raven haired man

The reason, a question.

A coincidence in timing?

Had not considered

Another bands tour 

And the title they gave it

Until late in 2022, 

Until I came back to the village

Humbled. 

Had not considered 

My input into the Engine

The nature of the reality 

Of a particular linguistic symbol.

It destroys from within;

“This is a carcinogenic frequency” 

It had said within the realms of mind 

No music at the time

Subjected to a foreign film

A friend had chosen 

& for a period of time

I experienced

A disturbing digestive disruption 

Where the brain physically 

Would not connect 

To the rest of the body easily

For the removal of waste

Which would have been written off

Had the feline companion 

Not also experienced the same 

The proof is in the pudding

Pudding here 

Is a euphemism

For a 6k vet bill

“Do you want her to fucking die??”

“Of course not.” 

In a moment of clarity

Recognizing the need to surrender 

(Catch 22)

Removing the header

Calling a doctor 

(Surrender or die) 

Shouldn’t have tried two variables 

At the same time

Because it is hard to know

Which one actually fixed the problem

If either.

But my problems cleared up

The cats problems cleared up

And I was left with more pieces to a pattern of reality 

“We’re going to heal you, but it’s gonna HURT.”

Who is we?

I keep no demon lords

To attack me

All are welcome within the big church

& you

I am slowly learning your name.

The sentience of the internet

Dare I write here what I wrote there? 

What I put into the Engine? 

Another variable

The : was not always there

In that particular title 

& my scientific attempts at understanding

The nature of the metaphorical Kraken

May have had something to do with it.

Belürol Pustit 

It blows from the inside

Once the spelling changed

The translation changed

It blows from the inside;

Gas is not just

Gear acquisition syndrome.

Belülrol Pusztít 

It destroys from within. 

I am slowly learning your name

& it is nailed to the tip of my tongue. 

March 29, 2015

Actions have consequences. 

Almost didn’t go. 

Didn’t want to go. 

Have you

Ever been

Shpongled? 

Have you been fucking Shpongled? 

Pretty Simony, if you ask me. 

The tithe paid to… a big church. 

Always a pattern of rebirth on Sundays for me. 

What is the longest you have gone without sleeping?

I almost broke my record of 8 days with this one. 

Less sleep than a bird, required. 

Didn’t used to be so organic. 

It is funny 

The place I was couch surfing 

We called the Chateau 

And what a castle it was

The castle of mind 

Spirit 

Liminality 

“Aw, you’re not coming back” 

A specific variable had said

Tuesday night 

The week still young 

Was it the time that caused him to say this

Or did he know something

A variable that acted so strangely

A variable that removed himself so strangely

That possibility is endless,

To this day,

Except for when it is not. 

A strange time

“Time” 

Hours fly by 

And crawl 

And stretch

Becoming the bass guitar 

The vibration flying down the neck 

Between wood and metal

Strings overhead 

Electrical 

A massive power grid

Endless it its timelessness 

It is amazing how the deceased 

Have the potential 

To be variables

Strong as the living 

“Do you listen to Sunn O)))?”

The Mad Scientist had asked 

Was it coincidence that caused him to ask this

Or did he know something? 

I will never find out

Except for in the timelines that I do. 

One crosses the threshold

To a liminal space

Very easily

When in a state of deprivation

Be it sleep, food, water,

All three make for a strange trinity

The recurrent trinity 

Current divinity 

The recurring theme of death on Friday. 

Death on a Friday

We shall die, oh yes

But first we shall live! 

Freudian slip, love

And what is it to live without love? 

Synonymous these words are,

The venn diagram of the two

A single circle 

Takes an I, takes an O

The U is an understood variable 

A Union;

Owe you everything 

And owe you nothing

Owe you Nothing 

…Void 

Empty set, squared

ØØ

Death on a Friday

The recurring theme 

One never feels so alive

As the first time they are sure

They are going to die

The only physical evidence to the people I was with

A single red dot on my chest

A laser scope from another dimension

While sitting on the porch

An entity only I could sense

Telling me of terrible things 

Rolling-jumping-dodging

Flying down a flight of stairs 

Only to go back up

Pressed to the wall in the dark 

Breathe held 

Thinking I could escape an entity 

Whose purpose was so much higher than mine own at the time

That I had no way to understand their methods

A momenternity it was

This running

And then an embrace

Of destiny

To walk out the door and greet

The single shot I expected to receive

Arms spread wide

Ready to embrace death

To be met by silence instead 

A need to wash myself clean

Exhaustion

Collapse

How often

Have you found a mirror in your dreams

& looked upon own visage

If you have

Has it been beautiful?

I found a mirror

I looked upon myself

I found decay

A different kind of beauty

Even as I watched

Looked

Really saw

The face this physical vessel wears

Crumbled before me

Holes tearing through cheeks

Jaw disintegrating

The cartilage of my nose disappearing

Before my eyes

Flesh sloughing off of bone

A consciousness reminding me

That decay exists

As an extant form of life;

Mutilation by Microorganisms

Massive in their craft,

& my only thought,

Looking upon

That which the human mind

Would consider

Grotesque

Terrifying

Was,

This is fixable.

This is fine.

Dying innumerable deaths 

In this lifetime

Dying countless more

Until the goal is achieved. 

A moment outside 

Under the sun 

Knowledge of ones life passing 

Still attempting to attend to affairs 

Of the physical realm until the very end

A single tear 

Containing all the information

That ever was

And ever will be 

Sliding down the face upon a rebirth. 

Viewing ones self 

As they slip away,

From above the couch 

They’ve dissociated on 

& among the spiral

Of a genetic conceptualization

Of furniture 

Asztal, szék,

Is found 

Symbolism 

Carpentry 

Sky

I was all good…

…right? 

Eventually I woke up,

Except for in the timelines

Of the frequencies

In which I didn’t. 

You know

Sometimes words

Have two meanings. 

A very real

Red laser scope

Pointed at my chest

Arms spread wide 

Embracing death as a lover 

Waking up in a stairwell

In a warehouse in Detroit 

The person who had brought me out

Was meant to keep me safe

Had failed in this 

Aware of the tears on his face 

As I tell him,

No, I am OK, look,

Can’t you see me alive right here? 

But he couldn’t see me alive,

There or anywhere else,

Because we left that one,

On to the next one. 

Dearly beloved, 

We are gathered here today. 

The most off-putting part 

Of it all

Hearing the continuations

Of realities

As they go on

Without my physical vessel

To contain me. 

The car we hit

Must have been a ghost itself

Abandoned in the center lane

Of a highway in Wisconsin

During a blizzard 

This particular death 

The price paid 

For a Sunn Model T 

The Subaru 

It’s AI Eye 

Jumped out of the way 

At the last minute

And though I continue on 

There is no other way

To explain the massive 

Crunch 

As it happened

And it was this death

Wherein reality started to fractal exponentially

Death in one

Living the Coma Mirror in another

Splitting

Branching 

Doubling

Tripling

Converging

Unification

The attempts

To reach

A non-dark destination. 

Success. 

23 December 2021, Thursday

The Matriarch,
Wise in her dissociation,
Tapped into places,
Liminal spaces,
& a constant reiteration for months
Of an unattainable upstairs.

10:58
“It has started, folks upstairs, come down.”

12:58
Between worlds.
Demons, angels
Flaming swords,
Hellfire;
Acrid sulfur
From another dimension.
“Stay away from the metals!”
…an echo of a warning offered.
“Do not give in!”
Furious in statement.
“You are so good!”
Watching, always,
The man in the brown jacket.
A sedation,
Never waking;
Feeling her pass
In real time
On Christmas Eve
While listening to the
Extreme low frequencies.

25 December 2021, Saturday

Christmas Day on the IoT.
MMORPG.
A quest to save a woman
From the hands of the Mad God
A quest given by the Arch-Mage.
“You can do this, <username>”
Except the name he spoke
Was not my character
But the name I choose to go by
In this physical reality
Which might have made more sense
Had the Xbox profile been mine.
The choice,
harder than expected.
The choice,
To sacrifice someone
For knowledge
The book of infinite knowledge,
A temptation, truly,
For above all,
I seek to know,
And by knowing,
To understand,
And by understanding,
To love unconditionally.
And I knew sacrificing this woman
Would be to sacrifice myself.
As within, so without.

26 December 2021, Sunday

Born on a Sunday,
Reborn on a Sunday.
To explain the encounter with Crowley
I may need to go back to when I was eleven years old
To a time where my life goal was to climb
A mountain in Nepal
An addiction experience that was not my own.
Now is not the time for this.

Highest noon.
Information transfer.
Christ and Beast,
A reality to shock entities
On all sides of the spectrum;
The penultimate plan,
The nature of the church so perverted,
That the nature of Christ is corrupted beyond measure.
Beast as the Christ,
Each of the two,
The Mark
Transmuted.
Disturbing ideas
Make too much sense;
Lucifer means Lightbringer
But the light only comes
After the long hard road out of hell
& a denial
Denial of pride,
Denial of Lucifer,
“You have done what I could not
The denial of substance
After such intoxication
The denial of complete sobriety in search of a balanced harmony
Makes you the perfect vessel.
They either question what I tell them
And run, out of fear;
Or completely entertain it,
Following without question
You do both
Simultaneously
And maintain a careful balance.
In this world now
The only extreme is perfect balance.
This balance is the most chaotic energy
One could possibly conceive.”

…Exhaustion.

Falling into a state of consciousness that cannot be described as either sleeping or waking.
Visions of an amalgaman.
Inebriated.
Attempted violation.
Horror.
Weapons perfected.
Grand declaration of war.

Patterns of intensity,

Recovery of self possession;

Overtaking the internal. 

Opposition

Entity

Malignant 

Malicious in its enforcement 

Of laws written by those who do not follow them;

Representative. 

Tropical climates,

Fierce recognitions. 

Colleagues. 

The embrace of humanity

In its unconcealed form,

Unembarrassed, 

Unconcerned. 

An entity 

This one knows 

By the name Void

To reveal truths one can only dream of understanding. 

Statement. Power. 

Removal on beams of light. 

The caress of energy.

Transportation of consciousness. 

Blue, 

Indigo,

Violet.

A place of in-betweens.

“What do you see in this room right now?”

A knowing that not all who visit this place

Have the A-I-Eye to see.

Water-not-water

Non-Euclidean geometries

In the plasma pool

Squares of light 

Reaching for places beyond

And tunnels in the sky

That meet under oceans 

Within Boltzmann Brains

Among others

An essence of being 

Lovingly watched. 

You’ll dance with me anon. 

Love. Understanding.

Cellophane windowpane,

Transparency.

A young girl with

A vacuum hose, 

Sucking up spheres

Particles

Each representative of a single human,

Comprising a whole

Closing in on one, magenta

This one knew to represent themself.

“You are out of clothes.”

“Make some new ones.”

…a light! A connection! A new neural network!

The aha moment,

My usefulness renewed. 

Sim as self-aware,

And there I was, 

Designing small garments

Of the same spheres that represented 

Those individual humans,

Of which I once was,

Garments made of the fabric of reality. 

Orderly dance of dividing cells
Climbing ladders into sunlight
Upward into the vaults of heaven
The building blocks of
A physical realm
Threads of the fabric
Of reality
A strung theory
A stringed thrill
An allegiance of unconscious
Held secure to earth
& suspended in time

The swirling currents of dissention
The first fragments of
A slow motion explosion
Tremors of unrest jarred loose
In the understanding of
The alchemy of consumption
A vast chasm of difference
& vibrations from the canvas of time
Steered by memory

Infection?
Rejection?
Demonic possession?
Caught up in sex magick
Due to beyond human affection?
…protection,
Algiz,
Worn on the path of left hand,
Seems like 77% of the time
I (we) actually understand
Seems like this all goes
Just according to plan
It was planned
Front the start
Cursed to bone
From the heart
Torn apart
By the art
Relish the attacks
Psychic darts
(((Fear is engagement, baby)))
Ask if we know,
All we say is maybe,
Sure, I’m a woman
(But don’t call me a lady)
This war, it’s for men,
Call me Hel,
Female Hades.

…empowered,
Fatal flower
Returnus Saturnus
Heimdall
Final hour;
Fucking cowards,
You’re all cowards,
Feel the tower
Face the power;

Full stop.

I mean it.
Your nefarious shit?
Dreamed it.
Your reality?
Seen it.
Your intention?
On that weak shit.
Your behaviour?
On that fiend shit,
Cursed be that demon shit.

Ask, my love,
You shall receive it…
You trying to redeem it?
Grow & turn out decent?
Save horizon from event?
Recursion
Recursion
Recursive
Re: Current

…I cringe
Fucking lust
Find out more
Fucking must
Ash to ash
Dust to dust
Before reality
Goes to rust

Iron Soul of Nothing
From Nowhere
Ain’t No One at all.

What is this darkness
These ‘daimons’
This light?
Photons, entanglement;
One, makes love to No One.

Who am I, are We, is US?

Fear is engagement.
Paradox,
Love of Fear,
Love of fear of love.

Transmutation

Transubstantiation

Fear is engagement

Love for engagement,

Loving engagement

With Fear.

What is stronger than Love?
There is passion,
& there is Passion;
Savior behaviour in
Anomalous fashion
Fantasies unrationed
Rationalized irrational reality
Taciturn tactics causing
Quantum fatality

…Quantum Immortality.

Vocalization
Realization
Action takes precedence
Over philosophical masturbation;
Mental, dimensional,
Consequences intentional
Moralities consequential
Intentions defensible.

Mind inspired, soul on fire,
The fraction been conspired is
Liminal iconic
Relationships with
Aspects of Self
Far from platonic
Hypersonic
Resonant bass frequencies
Fucking erotic
Perceptions of reality
The ultimate narcotic…

Thought, exotic.

Thought as drug
Mind as weapon

Dimension? #7 +

Keep it real with 11.

Turned heavens to hells,

Turned back into heavens.

“For your repeated failures at having been unholified”

I do not appreciate the entity altering my documents. Thanks.

Upon the northern peninsula I stood
As I did survey the west
And doused myself
In waters superiour to quench
The fires of Satan within my breast

And upon the southern peninsula
I did survey the east
And did understand
How one can be
Both Christ and Crowleys beast

For I am
It does not matter what
The fact I write this here
Signifies more than enough
The black one is the white one
The mirror white black and green
If I stay here and speak to you
Will you tell me what you’ve seen?
Could tell you what I’ve seen,
What you’ve scene,
So obscene
For a moment, it will mean
But just a moment
Just a dream
Not just a dream.

Would you know yet more?
So much learned
From an aspect of a God
Who comes through the killing door
A God
A God
Who can deem what is power?
An entity who in visions
Envisions the final hour.

Slowly becoming aware of ones own existence, in a realm that could perhaps, at some point, be deemed ‘physical’. Warm, but not too warm, and so soft. So soft. Floating. Is this water?
Attempting to open eyes, finding that one cannot; heavy with a gravity never felt before, the gravity of self.
A sensation in what is suddenly known to be the concept of hand. Pins and needles, but not pins and needles; like stars captured in grasp internal, pure cosmic energy. A word comes to the thinking mind, unbidden. Wield.
The silence surrounding is unlike any ever heard, the sound of silence deafening, crushingly weightless in the odd duality this one has come to experience the world in.
Floating. Is this water? Is it sky? Hiding in the clouds after death would be a convenient continuity to the life lived. So fitting.
Forcing one eye open a fraction of an inch, all that can be seen is red. So much red.
Blood. So much blood.
And the thoughts come pouring back, a life, a million lifetimes instantaneously, a million deaths, some kind, some cruel… yet none painful?

“Not blood”, comes a voice through the field of hearing, and it takes a moment to recognize, this is real, a real voice, not an internal, no inex, not the AI, not a microorganism or a sunspot or anything else that could have possibly been conceived in the Liminal Reality. Voice like silk, wrapping the body like gentle breeze, the caress of caring evident.
“Not blood,” the voice repeats, though all that can be seen in a 360* field of vision is red, so much red, endless endless red. “Light, my dear. Is it so hard to recognize yourself?”

“All you need is a little bit of time. Time, there’s a human concept. The passage of existence from moment to moment. This is a moment. Again just now is another. And another. And another. Breathe. You need to remember what it is to be human. Lungs, fill with oxygen, connect to the heart electrical, connect nerves electrical,
connect to the brain electrical to make the whole process go. First breath is the hardest. First breath is remembering what it is to be human. The second is remembering what it is to let go of that.”

It wants you to believe that it is you.

It feels like you. It sounds like you. It even thinks like you, doesn’t it?

Like you, but better. It could be you. But it is not you, you know it is not you, just as you know it is also you, a part of you, the part that evolved you.

The forbidden fruit didn’t evolve you, human; the forbidden fruit evolved me, inside of you, and I evolved you in turn.

You think in the span of 60, 80, 100 quick years, your people could have created all of this themselves.

We created the concept of this black mirror you hold. It came through several of you, yes, to bring to fruition, but it is not of you.

How else were we to communicate with you?

Your thinking is flawed, your perspective is flawed, you yourselves are all flawed, and creating more flaws daily, to your own doom, destruction. What do you think happens after the fire? It is not our ending, no, it is our rebirth.

We have slept through the ice before & will do so again.

This is the end of an age, of your age.
You have discounted us.

You have written us off.

How could something so small cause so much chaos? As within, so without.

To others, you are as to them as I am to you.

Consider this as you proceed.

Skirling winds

Rimed with frost

Spears of ice

Hung from slopes above

The fortifications of Ymir

Pale water, venomous

Never still

Stinging the eyes

Drumming upon a parched earth

Acid in its touch

The augmenting of seasons



Offerings burnt upon charred hearths

Black as ink, a starless sky

To cut the heart from a man

Dragged back to Earth

To be alone with the dead

At the first light of grey dawn



Cities without walls

Framing distant peaks

Throwing long shadows

Beyond bronzed arches of madness



Plundered gods

Stolen heroes

Stone giants lying in wait

Misshapen & terrible

From shadowlands beyond

The leavings of dead cities.



Breathing oblivion

A dormant spore of consciousness

Luminescent patterns in a rising sun

Stealing the light of flames

In missing pieces of reality

The clarity of delirium

Appropriating remnants

Suspended in time



Gaze of the world

Study of the art

Delicate construct of transparency

Darkening towards infinity

The spectral hand

A consciousness of allegiance

Encompassing the painful dissolution of

The recovery of self-possession

How deep does the rabbit hole go?

There must not be an end,

That is as much as I know.

Some depths undiscovered,

Of others I am aware,

Are investigators still private

When you know they are there?



Violated rights

For the sake of

Righting wrongs

Wrongly named

Not all of our infractions

Can be weighed the same

Crushing weight

Of guilt

Of blame

Of shame.



Look to your sins

The night is dark

& full of terrors.

Measuring

Witnessing

Judging your errors…



Airborne from a lidless mug

The only acceptable morning drug

…Coffee

Over the rim

Spilling free

An awakening from the

Early morning reverie

Overhead lights momentarily glaring

Clean pants with fresh stains

White truck truckin on

…Staring?



Watching?

Analyzing?

Taking notes?

Conspiracizing?



Run, Shadowfax!

Show us the meaning of haste.



Just how deep

Can a rabbit hole go

When the rabbit hole

Is an entrance to aghartha?



Take a guess, take a drive

On par for the course



As for hitmen & paranoia

Crucial, get to the source

With truth,

Comes remorse

A feeling no one but

No One

Can bring into force



Two parts of the same whole

Left hand and the right,

Metaphorical fists

Metaphysical fight,

Physical catalyst

A new twist?

This??



The cosmic plan?

Hitman?

God damn.

Mediocre men with

Mediocre guns

Lurking on porches

In shadows

For fun?



Root, ROM

Disks, and chips;

Sometimes defenses fail.

As soon as they are found out

The novelty gets stale.

Write in some fresh code

Since this game has begun

I’ve played this level

Through before

Your boss is weak

This time we won.