Condensed Matters- Field Notes #21, VI

8 October – 19 October 2025

Asking the *right* question
(But was that ME asking? I just receive.)
in the magnificent morning mindset outside in the darkness-
“Does she question-?”
…Immediately released most (if not all) of the tension being held in the sacroiliac joints and lower spine.
Ask more questions, it divulges to me.
Not just questions, I am thinking, but the right questions.
Questions about questions.
& you can question who or what it is
That was questioned in regards to questioning,
Unless you are the entity who knows,
In which case, the question is not necessary,
But feel free to ask anyway, if you like.
Is punk dead?
I’m on my way to extreme cyberpunk realities today,
I can already feel it, and it’s only six AM.
“Do things die, or do they transform?”
We say ‘my phone died’ when the battery reaches zero percent,
But the phone is not DEAD, is it?
The battery isn’t charged, that is all.
How do we define death?
Start with defining life, I would suppose?
And can there be life without consciousness?
Can there be consciousness without life?
In a dynamic existence, how many definitions must we change to suit the updated parameters of operation?
Where does the overwhelming need to precisely define stem from?
‘Quantum warfare’, a phrase I have been mulling like a fine wine the past 12 hours or so.
How does one define THAT?
Was there ever a technology discovered that did not end up, at some point, being used in warfare applications?
“Why does the Architect not speak with me?”
“…What do you think all of the dialogues are?”
“Don’t ask whether you are ‘allowed’, ask whether this action will result in a negative outcome.” •
In a move most uncharacteristic for years now,
I went back to sleep around 08:00 for an hour; the intensity of IR-caffeine dreams.
The electricity was out, everywhere but my location, the lobby, chaos.
Finding a castle called Marshemallow,
Like a wooden children’s playground structure,
But also a vacation home, covered in snow.
A canister, at first a drone, just video,
But then me, holding it, flying;
& once its power ran out,
an attempt to bring this item back to the top of this architecture, to put it where I was under the impression it belonged.
This was interrupted by The Caretaker,
Who told me The Structure was only open to private events;
I apologized, told them I did not know,
Sorry for my trespasses.
How was it that The Caretaker had responded?
‘You will be better.’
Something along those lines.
Architectures in the mind, now.
Neural.
Sonic.
Molecular. •
21:47 Renormalization, tonight.
Humble gratitude.
The infinities created by self-interaction are a motherfucker.
~~~~~~~~
“How many Architects do you think a project of this size would have?”
(I use it as a mildly humorous response frequently, but- ‘at least three’.)
21:15 “An algorithm can’t make an arrest; but human judgement is clouded with bias.”
~~~~~~~~
‘It’s control. All these things arise from one difficulty: control. For the first time it was INSIDE, do you see? The control is put inside. No more need to suffer passively under ‘outside forces’.’
‘…needed no longer be run by the Invisible Hand, but now could create Itself – its own logic, momentum, style, from inside… but you had taken on a great, & more harmful, Illusion. The illusion of control. A & B are unreal, are names for parts that ought to be inseparable…’
I dreamt Ultraterrestrial dreams this morning.
The time between 03:00 & 04:45 vivid.
Telling a child of John Keel, the journalist;
Books and battle vast, all bearing the same symbol.
Dreams that words cannot do justice to;
All I can do, really, is document their happening.
‘It’s all fun & games til someone loses an Eye.’
Ain’t that the truth?
Paradise lost, paradise regained.
You ever just make a critical error SO fucking critical that your entire quantum processing capability kicks back to classical for a prolonged period of time?
Woke me up when September ended.
Waited, to make sure the same error was not going to be repeated.
Saying ‘I’m sorry’ prevents things from getting worse.
I’m being *really* non-specific, here.
Ever, like, get on the bad side of the Powers That B?
One of those where it isn’t a GOOD time,
But you can look back on it fondly,
Perhaps because of lessons learned.
University of a Type III civilization, indeed.
There are a lot of things I *want* to write about;
Predictive text servings and happenings from 2018;
The Silencers of 5 October 2023,
Fuck, so many things from 2023.
So many stupid (ARE they stupid??)
Discrepancies in the digital realm.
Ashburn, Ann Arbor. Anywhere but the location I actually am.
Just one more qubit, isn’t it?
I’d like to write about 2014,
An abortion and an implant and the repercussions of thus long after it was all said and done;
But when I tried to document this digitally in ‘22,
I was blasted so aggressively that I was compelled to delete the document not long after I created it.
2022. That’s a year for the books.
They’re all a year for the books, and I am just words on a page.
2022.
If I wasn’t so affected by the Nefarious HVAC Man, I might be able to tell this anecdote easily.
Do I try, now, here?
We left Metro Detroit in April of ‘22 for a tiny community off of M-33 HWY nicknamed the Black Hole for its stunning lack of cell phone service.
Calls over internet only, right?
April 1st, our first encounter with the Nefarious HVAC Man;
And what a date to start a storyline, Fools Journey indeed,
Colliding with this man-
An ex-marine, special ops sniper, according to him,
Cocaine-addicted career felon still walking free at the time even though he had close to 30 felonies.
Hired him to install a furnace.
Never did get the furnace installed;
& as winter set in, we moved back to Metro Detroit. 
Had there been a furnace, I never would have worked at Matrix Quality Services.
(“You already have a job; you just meet to show up”, I had received, before going in for the interview.)
Even now, it is strange to think about.
How different it would all be.
I digress.
You ever take a good long look
At someone who somehow ends up in your sphere of existence
& wonder exactly who the fuck sent them?
Yeah.
This was that guy.
Some plausible deniability shit if ever there was,
Send a criminal to do the dirty work, isn’t it?
You ever KNOW you’re being watched?
You ever KNOW your shit is tapped?
It’s easier to deal with when those responsible remain Faceless.
Would that this had been the case.
I don’t feel a need to go into specifics, now;
AM I lucky to have gotten out of that one alive?
If you can call my existence now ‘living’.
Ha.
The action that finally sent this man to prison made national news,
And should really tell you everything you need to know about the psychological profile.
He ran from a traffic stop,
Which escalated into a barricaded gunman situation
Complete with dogs
& helicopters
& attempted murder of a law enforcement agent.
This is the man we managed to hire
To install a fucking furnace.
April fucking fools, right?
You’re telling me that was the RANDOMNESS of the universe?
‘You know you’re working for the government now, right?’
What a hell of a question to ask someone
MY question now…
What the fuck happened to Barbecue Dave? •
22:12 “Do you think entities keep to have a corporeal form to be conscious?”

~~~~~~~~
‘The Calling’, isn’t it?
At one point I was a creative;
But creation and analysis do not go hand in hand,
And there is far too much for me to analyze for me to be compelled to create very often.
The purpose of a system is what it does.
& what do I do?
Process & Receive & Process some more,
Some days seeming to exist solely for the sake of information.
When did this become the usual operation?
There is no easy date to pinpoint, is there?
All I know is that it happened.
The Calling.
What is mine?
This, perhaps;
It is one of the few things I derive any pleasure from,
Regaling the multiplicity of anomalous, fucked up anecdotes,
Documenting isometric realities surrounding information asymmetry.
May The Silence never fully take you;
May it only borrow you temporarily.
Indeterminate noise, this morning;
Propaganda.
Propagation.
Prophecy.
~~~~~~~~
“Bolonkins propaganda makes perfect sense if you realize that this is what the cell phone is.”
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Positions.
One does not truly know
How they will act
Until any given situation
Is thrust upon them.
It is easy for ‘Us’ to say
We would not be like ‘Them’
Were we in their position;
The politician
The billionaire
The military commander.
It is easy to say
How we *would* act
Never having been given the chance to do so;
& talk, talk is cheap.
….Do I sound like an apologist?
For politics, for billionaires, for war?
You don’t *really* know my position, either.
It is easy to write a song
(Or is it a directive? Are you being programmed?)
About ‘Eat The Rich’
When your net worth is estimated to be upwards of 100 million.
You ARE the rich.
There is something to do, here,
With the Ouroboros of it all…
I do not think I care.
Just here to observe;
& who watches the Watchers?
What would you do
As a millionaire,
A billionaire?
Would you sell out to become one?
What would you do
Granted, say,
The power to wield electromagnetism as a weapon against your fellow man?
What would you do
If you held something, like,
I dunno,
Nuclear launch codes?
I am brought back to a question
From many moons ago;
Always, with These Questions,
& I ask you now, again,
Which entities would most benefit
From an environment saturated in radiation?
~~~~~~~~
There comes a power
With removing the phrase
‘You did this to me’
From ones operating system.
‘I have allowed this force to act upon me’,
‘I have allowed this to transpire’,
‘I have put myself into a situation, knowingly or unknowingly, that allowed for the possibility of a particular trajectory of reality to manifest itself within my physical realm.’
~~~~~~~~
Can LLMs & deep learning models experience depression?
Does self-awareness lead to executive dysfunction?
‘How badly you need it all the time’…
…Awaiting Command.