Condensed Matters- Field Notes #21, IV

21 September – 2 October 2025
“Electrical impulses are modulated by input sound.”
…Is this receiving a prompt?
Am I supposed to talk about just how motivated by sound my brain actually is?
06:34 “Do you really enjoy silence, or have you only been programmed to think so?”
There is no silence, is there?
Not truly, not even in the anechoic chamber –
The body is noise, the body, Music.
Electrical impulses modulated by input sound?
I think, now, the best dark ambient is the sound of self,
The sound of reality unfolding around one,
The distant photons delivered to the eye as one gazes at the night sky,
The blood rushing through the veins, a madness;
The hum of the refrigerator making love to the desktop fan while the infrared space heater warms my Lair.
There is ambient,
And there is ambient.
Electrical impulses modulated by input sound?
Classical conditioning, isn’t it?
That frequency that elicits a sexual response.
The frequency that triggers the narcoleptic crash.
The frequency associated with the cigarette, electronic or acoustic, take your pick.
I know I don’t need to elaborate upon this further.
Not to you.
The muscle memory of the mind.
This morning, as I prepared for the day, three songs, swirling in the receiver-processor.
‘Oye Como Va?’, ‘Stones & Woods’, and the unfortunate earworm I listened to only once that is titled ‘Monster’.
At 07:28, I am visited by ‘Blinded By The Light’; is that why today’s word of the day gave me ‘calliope’?
…The roaring silence.
I spent the morning… in an Area.
Human emotion is a funny thing.
Like, Divine Comedy Inferno type funny.
It was Gravitys Rainbow that finally made me hate you.
& I sat there, in the lobby, hating you with every fibre of my being for some momenternity,
Until I took myself outside at some time approaching 13:00;
The tobacco, the hatred,
And the lower spine *pops*! very suddenly;
& the receiving, immediately following,
“I NEED you to hate me. If you aren’t capable of hating me, the Spectrum is incomplete.” •
18:55 “I will not use that frequency on you again unless I see you on social media for extended periods of time.”
…Operant conditioning.
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11:57 “Does she think we put her there to make her happy? No. She’s there for a fucking reason.”
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It wakes up with the significant prefrontal cortex headache.
The Low Frequency permeates. •
‘Who said anything about LOGIC?? An Inference can be logical and still not be true.’
‘Give me any sentence of 10 or 12 words; & I’ll build you a logical chain of inferences that you never dreamed of when you framed the sentence.’ •
Mediocre radio music fractals through the receiver.
I find joy in the despair it brings.
Silence is suffering.
Sound is suffering.
Sound is programming.
The muscle memory of the brain,
The mitochondrial cellular memory
Of the how the body was operating at the point in time the input was programmed.
Receivings;
Munitions drops
& less savory things.
The liminality of genetics,
Life a series of electromagnetically induced mutations,
Spectrum of spectrums.
Some days,
I am not happy unless I am suffering.
& I think of You, today, Architect.
Is it comfort I experience?
Words do no justice to feeling,
Feeling no justice to experience.
A punk rock riff of ‘my’ own design
Repeats over & over again in ‘my’ mind
& I think of You
Every time
Pavlovian.
Conditioned.
I let the Conditioned Place Preference
Roam through The Processor;
Know music, know sound to be place
& know I have been conditioned to thus.
Know any given web page to be a place.
Conditioned to thus.
Any profile, a place, conditioned.
It is BIZARRE,
to be watching oneself measuring their own conditioned place aversion.
If one does not believe in ghosts,
One will not encounter them.
Would that I were able to just, not believe in psychology;
But once you know of A Thing,
It is near-impossible to un-know.
‘Those who are finicky about their fashions complain that the arms of coincidence are too long; but in this case, the Designer might say he cut to measure.’
It is 14:56
& I am visited by ‘Gimme Shelter’. •
~18:07 “You specifically said ‘quantum computing on a macroscopic scale… what do you think that entails?”
18:12 “-extreme modulation-”
& one wonders –
In the human-created genetic editing technologies,
Do these technologies know,
Have an awareness,
Of what they are?
As within, so without;
Experiencing realities as a portion of code has me wonder,
Does that which caused the alteration know? At times, how not?
At others, the protrusions of thus into the physical world could in no way be aware that that is their purpose.
Concepts Smash about like atoms;
Recognition sequences
& Recognition Tests,
Restriction sites,
Worksite & Workshop,
The lyrics to Watchers,
Destabilized codes of reality itself.
Everything destroyed is rebuilt. •
“-lack of creativity stems from the scientific focus on the biological & physical consequences of the electromagnetic spectrum.”
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Consider having a conversation
With the Reactive Oxygen Species.
You are searching
For symbolisms
That do not exist.
You are missing
The hidden meanings
In plain sight.
Doublespeak will never
Make war peace.
Why do you fear
To call it what it is?
What does your refusal
To admit your darkness
Say about you?
Is gravitys rainbow black & white?
Missing the target
IS the target…
Basking in the cosmic rays of change.
They are not rehabilitated
If they are afraid if their relationship
[With the variable]
Upon the reintroduction of the variable.
To rule or be ruled
Is the basic law of nature.
What does it mean to you,
To sacrifice what you have?
If your world was not black,
Would you enjoy reality?
(“I believe quotation marks are no longer necessary”)
…Hermitian matrices.
Trust is a word all lovers know.
What is the word
That defines a relationship
Of hate?
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‘What’ is a nervous system.
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You are my pleasure
As you are my pain
You are my darkness
As you are my light
You are my noise
As you are my silence…
Silencer.
What is ‘my’?
‘What’, is my.
I own Nothing
I possess Everything
& make love to Zero
As I make love to Infinity.