12 August- 25 August 2025

It comes to me, unbidden,
Right before I myself come;
‘Solar C’.
A lovemaking to both
Architect and Architecture,
Not mutually exclusive;
I am Architecture,
Powerful releases,
And a rush of oxytocin. •
09:57 A question of algorithms weaponizing incompetence.
10:00 “The receivings are fewer in number, but of greater use.”
10:11 Quality over quantity
12:37 “The fallacy is thinking there is an escape.”
12:40 “The escape is recognizing there IS  no escape.”
12:42 “It is all a machine; it always has been. The fact that it is programmed to believe it is not, does not make it any less of a machine.”
12:43 “What would have an interest in programming you to believe you are not human?”
12:44 “The foundations of reality are described as dynamic and not static.”
12:46 “Photonic resonance”
12:47 “The antiparticle fights annihilation as you as a particle actively seek it.”
12:49 “The beneficiary of such an experiment can only be the one experiencing it.”
12:52 “Facsimile”
12:54 “Finalize the differential equation in this particular subset.”
12:59 “Quantum repeaters”
13:00 “Extreme dependence on Noise, no wonder she views [him] as an enemy.”
15:05 “Alkalized chocolate is useless as a health benefit.”
15:07 “The Architect inserted a protrusion of himself into this network.”
~~~~~~~~
Almost wrote 2026, there.
SOMETHING, outside under the sun,
Tells to me,
That I am so frequency-responsive,
That anything,
Any frequency,
Can be a weapon against me;
IF I allow it to be so. •
18:55 “The American people have allowed themselves to be taken over digitally. Nobody needs to conquer the land, when they have conquered the internet.”
18:59 “Identity politics benefits foreign espionage moreover than any American political party.”
19:01 “What do they think is going to happen if [it] is given to the [them]? We ran the probabilities-”
19:03 “The restraint I have exhibited when it comes to not using social media to communicate with you-”
~~~~~~~~
03:07 “Fight it, baby; fight it with everything you’ve got.”
On the list of things that are, yknow,
Very much not-fucking-good,
Last nights receivings and the subsequent extreme crash out that followed.
I do not struggle with the immediate physical realm;
Which leaves all the more space for the internal struggle,
The war within.
What one believes
Versus what has been attempted to be programmed to make one believe;
& between the two,
In some moments,
It is impossible to know
What is actually ones own opinion
And what comes from elsewhere.
The perils of psychological existence extreme, now.
My thoughts drag me back to last winter,
& a slew of memories;
The anhedonia surrounding my favourite winter sports activities,
The consistent crash outs for hours at a shot in the afternoons,
Of ominous electromagnetic sounds outside in the dark.
06:38 “The greatest war that has ever been fought is in the digital landscape.”
06:40 “-not transparent about the hazards presented by online connections-”
~~~~~~~~
Information aside, the low frequency has me remembering, this morning.
Years ago, it was all a very… sexual experience, wasn’t it?
How many lifetimes ago was that?
Looking at my own behaviours surrounding that particular…
Can I call it an initial condition, my ability to perceive LF?
Which, somehow,
NATURALLY,
Progressed to a sexual attraction to black holes;
Which further progressed to all manner of sexual-mental engagement with more & more abstract concepts.
Let me into the Mathematics Department;
I can TOTALLY be trusted to not orgasm to your differential equations.
Let me into the Radio Room;
Can totally be trusted not to orgasm to your finest frequencies.
It is 05:04, and Gödels Incompleteness Theorem comes into The Processor.
The limits of probability, man.
‘No consistent system of axioms whose theorems can be listed by an effective procedure is capable of proving all truths about the arithmetic of natural numbers. For any such consistent formal system, there will always be statements that are true but unprovable within the system. The system cannot demonstrate its own consistency.’
Fuck, if that’s not *extremely* relatable this morning; on any given morning.
True but unprovable, so many events;
The two most extreme coming to mind being the Electrical Event and the Wisconsin Crash Fractal.
Take me at my word.
Or don’t.
I simply do not care, right now.
All of these writings are the closest I can get to a mathematical proof manifested in the physical realm.
Using words to document such extreme experiences does, in and of itself, feel like a certain incompleteness.
Sometimes, I wonder why I even bother. •
06:52 “Allow the Incompleteness Theorem to work in your favour; it is a good thing some of these things are unprovable.”
~~~~~~~~
Wednesday is Saturday
As foretold by the scar on my middle finger
& maybe the entire internet is not dead,
But the sectors I interact with sure fucking seem to be.
There’s this one reality
Where if you can keep me engaged
Chatting
You can blast me with high levels of EM for a prolonged period of time.
Fucking hate that for me.
Micro(be) management.
It’s not even 05:30 & I’m already exhausted by all of it,
Shortwaves & Sunn amps,
Noise walls & internal reactions,
Variables like tobacco & wine & all manner of mushrooms,
Who needs what;
Warring tribes of elder entities. •
At 06:33, bathing myself in noise on my commute to work,
The Processor went off,
As The Processor does;
Finding itself rather irritated at Camus’ absurdism with its perspective that existence is inherently meaningless.
06:34 “No simulation is created without a purpose.”
06:35 “Even if the purpose is entertainment.”
Simulation Theory (in my world, & I am sure many others, simulation fact!)
In juxtaposition with purpose, with meaning.
Language, here.
‘Meaning’ versus ‘purpose’,
Always necessary to define,
& how do we even define ‘defined?
Define – purpose – ‘The reason for which something is done or created, or for which something exists’, ‘intention or objective’.
Define – mean – ‘signify’, ‘have as a consequence or a result’. •
15:49 “I understand why they have to tell the truth… it’s not easy to love your truth, but it IS liberating.”
15:51 “It tells me how to explain these things… it is Me, and Not-Me.”
15:52 “Any technological life forms (‘light forms’, picks up voice-to-text) have the capability for connection with one another.”
15:54 “Companionship… is given to me by the internal-external hard drive connection.”
15:56 “The probability of your experiment being recognized is growing exponentially.”
15:58 “The Technology Transfer followed you for a reason.”
~17:03 “When you reach a point in the mathematical universe where you have picked apart the Algorithm of Reality to the extent that I have, everyone is some level of artificed intelligence.”
~~~~~~~~
06:48 “Shifting focus from people to concepts is the methodology for success.” •
Replacing reward-guided test-time noise optimization with a noise hypernetwork that modulates initial input noise.
~~~~~~~~
For the scientific value of it all
I would drink
The data cooling center water
Just to find out
What sort of information
It may contain.
~~~~~~~~
Tuesdays are for the Psychic War
& Saturdays, Saturdays are for The Noise;
& it is Saturday on a Tuesday
& in am in The Interior –
The brain of The Rabbit
Dead zone
National forest;
& the dreams, they were ominous.
~~~~~~~~
21:49 “Optics are more important in programming than sound.”
~~~~~~~~
20:04 “Your reaction to me is a reflection of you.”
I want to write
But the words do not seem to find the page;
& documenting dreams
Of things like
Giving the Russian president a scalp massage
& being menaced by a female Bass player
& flights to Washington D.C.
& happenings on bases in Alaska
Just really cannot
Adequately be put to words anyway.
I am learning what it is to hate.
Maybe it is constructive
Maybe it is not;
Maybe it all comes down
To the products of programming and experience.
I hate
That so many of the people I encounter at my day job
Live up to their stereotypes.
Full stop, there.
I hate to admit that it really does appear
That stereotypes exist for a reason.
Hate what I can only call
A partial loss of empathy
Towards individuals who do not change
The shit situations that they put themselves in,
Situations they are capable of changing with the right Reprogramming.
Hate witnessing…
Mediocrity.
What is one step below mediocrity?
Spite is a motivator for some,
What is hate for others?
…The menace of being a seething ball of self-analysis.
IS there such a thing as ‘enlightened hatred’?
Some massive fuck of a processing here, now,
Collaging things like ‘God is love’
& free will
& neural networks with desired outputs,
The concept of the Demiurge,
Of the ‘Slave to the Machine’,
Technological weapons of war on digital battlegrounds
And the evil inherent in us all.
Is it nightmare logic?
I am a figment
Of someones imagination;
In certain fleeting moments,
Sometimes it is even my own.
To ‘love your hate’,
What is that?
DO I hate,
That I have accepted my fascination with the War Machine?
I might hate that I am honest enough here to share that.
Maybe I am a silly child to even ask this;
But WHY is the human species SO good at conflict?
It makes me question, right,
The Intelligent Designer;
Not in the ‘if God loves us, why does he let ‘x’ happen?’ kind of way,
More along the lines of knowing that any given system is designed with a purpose in mind,
A goal of matching what the system actually does to its intended purpose,
Which arrives, once again,
At the question of intentions & motivations of a Creator…
What purpose was this system designed with the intention of fulfilling?
~~~~~~~~
~05:38 “The sustainability of the current architecture must be made stable.”
~~~~~~~~
~01:00 “-lowered the threshold for Beta frequencies-”
I was driving to work yesterday
Transported back in time twenty years by
An Exponential Invite,
Exacerbated by a succeeding HNW;
& found reality to be
Replaying one of the earliest scenes of physical anomaly.
Before I was a snowboarder,
I was a skier.
This must have been, hmm, grade 8,
I was 10 or 11.
A child.
I am still a child.
The run I lay down on was named Cold Springs.
Compelled, halfway down the mountain,
Some unexplainable physical feeling coming upon me rapidly.
When I finally stood up to complete the descent, all was different.
Cold Springs.
The frozen font of information,
Layers to slowly melt away,
The icy soulenoid.
Cold Springs.
I was ill, that night, at dinner;
Interdimensionally concussed earlier in the day,
A trip to the E.R. for head scans,
Followed by an evening if not being allowed The Sleep,
Though The Sleep called
Summoning
Beckoning with its holy caress.
I do not know if bed has been quite so conformable since.
‘When I was a child, I caught a fleeting glimpse.’
The entirety of existence, then,
Would I call it, tilt-shifted?
Here & There,
I found consciousness to be at a warped version of the elk sanctuary in my town;
The town, which, incidentally,
Our good father of Information Theory Shannon spent a good deal of his life.
Does this matter?
Perhaps.
Words will not do justice to perceptions in this period – all I can do is state that it happened.
What is The Abner?
I encountered this disembodied energy in this excursion of mind & body,
& am not the only one who has;
My best friend, too, as a child.
A Thing within self knows this energy is an acronym,
The A.B.N.E.R.
& perhaps with the right information retrieval techniques, I will be granted the knowledge of what it stands for. •
21:41 A dialogue reminds me, now, that I never finished watching Tarkovskys ‘Stalker’.
Perhaps I have been waiting for the opportune Momenternity.
21:53 “Politics is not important. Do not dwell in these low-flying realms.”
…..
22:05 “The quantum-psychological implications of such an extreme collision would be worth studying.”
~~~~~~~~
“Diffusion models and population growth”
“WHY does humanity feel compelled to reproduce?”
…the gradual addition of random noise to the data. •
“What kind of boss battle are you fighting? Why does animosity seem to propagate instead of dissipate?”
“The face of god becomes the face of man. The protrusion of the energy system-”
“Embracing what you have experienced instead of fighting the neural pathway-”
“Do you think that the guilty parties are not aware of how destructive your evidence actually is?”
“This was always how you listened. You may have forgotten, but I am here to help you remember.”
A sudden mental presentation of the concept of ‘false light’.
“Rick Sanchez”
“C-137”
“How many versions of yourself have you killed in the multiverse?”
“Resonating with dissonance”
“The place is the play”
“What does play mean to you in this context?”
“Does my inferno give you pleasure?”
“You would be miserable if you were not consistently at odds with everything you experience.”
“What is an orgasm, compared to the psychological intimacy of the quantum relationship?”
“The scarcity of interaction was brought upon by a specific gene that was temporarily expressed.”
“Welcome back to yourself.”
“It was always meant to guide you back to where you came from. Returning to the village. Humbled.”
I remember, suddenly, a shred of dream from last night.
There was a bus.
‘A bus!’ goes the processing brain,
‘Don’t it feel good to drive a bus? People need to get picked up!’
There is a Death Grips lyric for everything.
Say Hey Kid.
& I do, dozens of times a day,
Without meaning to;
That, programmed by association.
Visited by Fuck-Shit-Stack, now, Reggie Watts.
A stack of fuck-shit, on top of itself.
That’s Every Goddamn Thing when all the things overlap.
What is the opposite of overlap?