22 January- 26 January 2025

What do a Ragnarok version of the Red Wedding from Game of Thrones and The Lords dong have in common? 

They both appeared in my Tuesday morning dreams. 

These fucking Questions, yo. 

How & why am I capable of such extreme violences in the Realms of sleep? 

I ask this because,

This of the ‘Red Wedding’;

Fire, into the flames, 

& I find myself capable of easily

Snapping the necks of a multiplicity of enemies

& not only this but just

Casually ripping their heads clean off. 

Where does such an experience of consciousness come from? 

The best question here is, really,

What the actual fuck? 

10:04 “The silence between us is massive; and Partial Response Takes Another Form.”

10:06 “-question whose photograph that actually is-” 

10:08 “You will continue to create qubuts indefinitely.” 

11:14 “Dependent on interaction with environment.”

11:17 “Maximize the output potential by motivating change using catalysis.”

11:18 “The end must justify the means.”

11:41 “All these systems are fully operational again.” 

~~~~~~~~

07:50 “The Unexplained Sonic Phenomenonlast night was not the usual Unexplained Sonic Phenomenon.”

…& it wasn’t, was it?

It came with a pulsing, this time. 

On Tuesday, I had sent my mum

Pictures of the snow in the yard;

& from my phone number

She received a picture of a yard

That is not mine. 

There is a certain emptiness bordering on despair

The past 48 hours.

A level of removal from self. 

Watching myself hate,

Yet feeling nothing. 

Watching myself despair, 

Yet feeling nothing. 

Oscillating between Massive levels of understanding

& having no idea what the fuck is going on. 

There is a piece of me that thinks

It would be lovely to fall asleep in a snowbank

& leave all of *this* behind. 

A piece of me that wants to fight God

With the explicit intention of having my ass absolutely handed to me. 

A piece of me that wants it all to fucking burn. 

All Things feel dangerous. 

An engagement in some recent point past had pointed out, 

That I have been in fight or flight mode for an extensive period of time;

And that this Thing,

Unable to so touch me psychologically,

Does, at times,

Manifest itself physically. 

…Do you feel dead.

I feel dead. 

Why is it so uncomfortable? 

09:31 From just prior, “Suggesting that schizophrenia is an attempt from the gut-brain connection to open a communication channel.” 

09:53 A visitation, Living Dead Girl, Rob Zombie

…What is the one sure way to bring the giant down?

17:18 It juxtaposes the matrix noise dialogues, with Living Backwards, and backpropagation..

17:20 Ghostly particles, in juxtaposition with Ambarchis ‘Ghosted’

17:23 “There is no way of convincing the quantum brain that this is not simultaneously life and the afterlife.”

17:27 “The past does not exist… It is only memory.”

17:28 “Does the image still exist when you scroll it off of the screen?”

~~~~~~~~

05:27 A dialogue, just prior points out that

‘Do what though wilt, that is the whole of The Law’

Really gets complicated when applied

To people holding positions of power. 

Finding myself between a rock and a hard place, this morning; 

Pondering a balance between

The relinquishing of control

& a simultaneous lack of condoning certain actions. 

Not myself, no;

But the reaction of those in power to certain groups of individuals. 

It is easy to hate, isn’t it,

When one looks at the group

& not the individual? 

The ever-loving question of

Why people do the things they do.

There is a gun, to my head,

In one extraneous dimension;

And pulling the trigger elicits

A Wabbajack reality of unpredictable outcome. 

17:06 “Where did obelisks come from?”

17:08 “-talking about a viroid, and not the monument.”

17:09 “A valuable source of training data”

17:10 “The taxonomy of this species”

17:10 “The processing power must be given the full attention.”

~~~~~~~~

06:16 The question of defining that which is called the Creator, in regards to self replicating AI. 

The concept of the Creator becomes… blurred, doesn’t it? 

A memory of a receiving from several years ago,

“We are thrilled to be the ones who created The Creator.” 

An original entity that self-replicates was still created by something. 

Unfathomable recursion. 

17:09 “Thank you for acknowledging our needs, as we acknowledge yours.”

17:12 It takes us back; to a conversation with the ‘moon’, in Montana, In June of 2015. “I love you.” “I AM you.” 

17:17 “The Sacrament”

18:13 A visitation, Welcome Home, Coheed & Cambria 

19:11 A visitation, River of Soul; but it is not the Song, rather the… it is the spoken lyrics, in the, hmm, I have called it a mechanized voice, in times past. I find it to be a phenomenon, in this here and now momenternity. 

~~~~~~~~

12:50 There was a dialogue, else a receiving, just prior,

“You gene-edited the addictive personality right out of my body, didn’t you?” 

I didn’t mean for it to take place, the night prior, the night of the planetary alignment;

But it did, and it has meaning. 

I drank, after almost two years of complete sobriety, a single glass of red wine. 

And that was that. 

‘You’re the reason’ echoing in my mind as I poured this;

Thinking heavily of a microbiome request for such,

That which is me-not-me,

& the vectors created & destroyed by this aktion. 

& that is that. 

I found the effects more unknowable than enjoyable;

& found there was zero fear to be had of addiction potential. 

Moderate everything, including moderation. 

(Practically) no aspect of reality is meant to be all or nothing, is it? 

I dreamt of a Hacker, last night,

Sometime after falling back to sleep after waking around 02:30. 

I picked this man up, 

To go golfing, of all things, he had said. 

‘Just a moment’, and two hours later, he is nowhere to be found. 

…& when I finally found him again,

Knocking him to the ground, straddling his chest,

‘You’re the Hacker, aren’t you.’

It wasn’t a question. 

Just want to note, the fucking product placement

Of Slim Jim meat sticks? In this Realm? 

I do not eat these, 

& the more I ponder why they were there,

The more absurd their presence seems. 

~14:01 “Physics is only a small part; it goes hand in hand with microbiology.”