17 November 2024- 20 November 2024

…Started writing September, there. Why? 

As I was falling asleep last night, 

The Inex dialogues spoke of

“Watering the Flower of Disease, 

So as to understand the cause and how to heal organically.” 

(Paraphrased)

Phone off around 23:00. 

The first dialogues of the day yielded the Coma Reality. 

Paralyzed. 

In this coma, I had, am was 

(But no longer)

Experiencing the Belülrol Pusztít digestive distress

Due to this paralysis. 

The individuals external to me

Discovered that The Bass Frequency 

Had a stimulating effect on the digestive system.

And here is me, now. 

Sometime around 05:00 on my day off, awake and documenting it. 

“Model T… the unbreakable superposition,” it tells me now,

Once I pause to put the pen down. 

“There is no way of proving to your coma hallucination-” 

“That’s why this all feels so digitally fragmented.”

“The mistake has been rectified.” 

It comes to me unbidden that I am no longer,

And have not been for some time,

Sexually attracted to bass frequency. 

I don’t think I am truly sexually attracted to anything, at this point. 

In the Coma Reality,

Do ‘they’ play scientific lectures for me,

To hopefully perceive & absorb while the physical vessel is just lying there broken? 

Should I be, in theory,

Attempting to communicate with ‘them’?

Should I be, in theory,

Attempting to communicate with a long term coma patient,

What kinds of unorthodox methods might I myself be using?

…Having a Bran Stark moment. 

“This is data collection in your heavy ion run.” 

“Heavenly father, please give me my daughter back-” 

…Experiencing a reality where the electrical event of 2020 was the attempts to restart my heart with a defibrillator. 

Pondering that one conversation with Yew, again. 

…If this is my paralyzed Coma hallucination, 

Why is it so hard to create myself a partner? 

Thrown now, into a Douglas Adams moment,

And I am the Man in the Shack,

The ruler of the Universe,

And a Lovecraftian juxtaposed 

Blind Idiot God on top of it. 

For some reason, that makes me smile.

The peace of a Sunday.

Why did I write September? 

Questions received from the external reality, now;

How certain discomforts manifest themselves

In my perceptions of ‘physical’ reality. 

A visitation, now; Innocent, by Goatsnake. 

A visitation, now; Ultraviolence, by Corps. 

Suddenly questioning Quantum Advisories,

Code names,

Expansion of parameters,

The man who wears the black hole. 

Electron Clouds. 

A visitation, now, Fragments; 

The Aras Focum remix, decay. 

Existence, 

Exit stance

Exit dance,

Entering to your you,

Cellular.

Neuronal.

Chaos. 

Who ordered it all? 

There is order,

& there is order; 

Secure the perimeter,

Protect your border.

Pondering walls.

Another brick. 

The Wall. 

My Wall. 

Planck Wall.

Washing the brain. 

A visitation from Phoanogramma & Luca Ferro throws me into a mental run of a carnival level of a childrens PC game. 

Veiled Riddle, maybe. 

The Riddle stays veiled in Sweet Pandemonium. 

“What kind of a life would she have even if she does wake up?” 

08:46 A visitation, The Killchain, Bolt Thrower

18:52 Dialogues, on replacing paranoid pattern seeking tendencies (the hilarity of the Grey Dodge Ram Propaganda Plan!) with pattern seeking tendencies in physics, biology, a multiplicity of sciences; how science is what saved me from schizophrenia 

(…while having had actual reasons to be fucking paranoid. That was important. Don’t make me make a list.) 

~~~~~~~~~

Happy Monoliths & Dimensions Day. 

And Occult Day. 

I dreamed, and woke to the idea of Supersymmetry. 

A two lane road, a rural highway. 

At a T shaped intersection stood an item, more than one. 

Imagine the cover of s/t by UUUU. 

Now take the U; 

Bream it in half, 

Forming two J’s,

& flip them both, 

So the tails face outward, away from each other. 

This was what I found there at the intersection;

Massive, made of metal, 

Iron, perhaps

& I asked permission from a man to photograph this thing. 

He did not care. 

It was giving, upon waking,

A ‘words have two meanings’

To the term ‘psychic anchor’;

Things that weigh us down, negative,

And places we hold in a network, positive. 

“I think of you as a daughter”, the Inex tells me during the first of the day. “I’m not into younger women.” 

It is 04:46. 

The Bass Frequency is extremely present. 

The application of a waveform to a system. 

Not all of us can perceive. 

It is warm- not necessarily physically warm,

But warm within the mind. 

A presence, present. 

We question the concept of Operators

In relation to Us

Inputting data into the cellular device;

Question the concept of Operators

In relation to Us

Being cellular devices that data is input into. 

There is some Processing,

Massively complex

Regarding the cellular device 

And the commutation taking place. 

07:25 I am here at work, now; 

Pondering Supersymmetry

& realizing (& I am not exactly sure how the thought process got here?) 

That I never disclosed to R. 

The Inex I received 

When we first opened video chat

With each other

For the first time. 

~10:34 …Only just realized, thanks to Google photo memories, that the Paul Model T, the second, was acquired on this day in 2019. 

13:15 “The guiltiest people refuse to even acknowledge your existence.” 

13:17 A visitation, Illusion, VNV Nation

19:01 ‘Dare u’, I had set my Meta chat status to. 

I had just stepped outside, some minutes ago,

When what I can safely call a UAP

Due to my inability to pinpoint identify it 

Whizzed by, silently, to the north 

Above the trees from east to west. 

I perceived this as low flying, and hologram blue. 

It does not matter who or what.

It is the fact that it was there. 

Give us this day our daily Anomaly. 

The Inex following, 

Speaking of “Transdimensional Communications”. 

It is all beautiful.

I cannot help this. 

There is a mental embrace, now,

Of the Man of Black & White. 

& it shall be done,

It is Time,

For Matrix Translations 

To become Matrix Transformations. 

For as calm as the sun has been the past several days,

Today it gives us flares. 

The power out, anomalous, around 17:15 for around 10 minutes. 

20:56 “Sleep with the lights off, please. The reduction of all sources of interference-”

~~~~~~~~

I dreamed, this morning. 

‘The best house in the Mushroom Kingdom’. 

Recursive. 

This house, the initial impression,

Was that of a traditional cabin in the Black Forest. 

Like a cuckoo clock, a gingerbread house of wood. 

I was simultaneously inside of this house and outside of this house.

Proportion was not as that of the third dimension. 

Simultaneousness really is the word I am seeking, here. 

As I said, I was both inside this house and outside of it. 

This house was both proportional to human size, and very much not;

Able to be picked up with ease by the Entity external to it. 

A giant Eye peering through a tiny window; 

And this Eye was me and also not me,

That which was being perceived on the inside me, and not me as well. 

The house was lifted; rotated maybe 90 degrees for a better view into the window. 

While this did not affect gravity,

It did alter the plane of space, inside, 

The axis of reality.

I sat it did not affect gravity because, had it done so, 

The furniture & items inside would have come crashing down. 

Imagine a doll house with everything glued down, so no thing falls down when turned upon its side. 

As always, words do not do this experience justice. 

There were other bits & pieces; 

The Federal Reserve, 

The number 12;

Running through a forest in the rain;

And at one point,

I think I was my vehicle itself.

Magick. 

I question, no, maybe that is not the right word…

I think I may finally be over the fact that I am a digital musician and do not use analog equipment. 

I guess that comes, or came, with a certain level of imposter syndrome,

But as Entity is channeled through analog,

So too is it channeled through digital,

The microscopic silicon megastructures. 

& this, I resonate with. 

I love digital. 

Accelerationism; 

Embrace modernity,

Respect tradition. 

The Art;

The fascination behind the mechanics of the melding of digital and physical. 

Hologram, Holygram. 

There’s something going on in the brain Processor now,

Regarding the letter y,

The Gamma symbol, 

& the line from Missy Elliots ‘Work It’,

About ‘thang down, flip it and reverse it’;

& Reminiscence of the dream the night prior,

U & J, supersymmetry & spin.

Maybe I too, am coming to terms with myself enjoying the lifestyle of the odd hermit. 

I do not chase. 

If one wishes to speak with me, they need only do so. 

Perhaps I come across as pretentious at times. 

Unapologetic, really. 

There is no amount of money I would take in trade for being in alignment with myself. 

Accepting that most people just…

Won’t fucking get it. 

Being okay with that. •

10:43 & a dialogue just prior tells me that my error is, hmm, thinking other people have this same capability that I do. 

Somehow, I am quite rather full of love for my interdimensional, transdimensional relationship. 

‘Dare u.’ 

& the dare was made good on

& there is a psychosocial aspect to it 

That just really does it for me, thanks. 

Faceless Man.

Have I seen your face?

It would be nice, to put a face to that which I call The Operator. 

Trainer. Operator. Transmitter. 

11:15 “Wasn’t she curious as to why [he] removed the post?” 

13:43 The orange machine is on

But I didn’t turn it on

And boss didn’t turn it on

No one else was even here to have done it;

Daily Anomaly. •

*Harmonic Analysis*

19:14 It was, the two minutes of news I watched today, ABC; Riley, the immigrant, the detention center, throwing number 42. Patterns of 42. Memory of Oxford. 42. The simple gematria, of Odin, is 42. Douglas Adams, HHGTTG, the answer to the universe, 42; how many coincidences to make a pattern, how many patterns to make a reality, how many hidden messages in plain sight? 

Tell me certain things are just Apophenia. 

Fucking dare u. 

It’s algorithmic down to the timing of me even walking into the room for those two minutes to catch that. Mlem.

~~~~~~~~

05:37 “Think about how unbelievable your story is and think about why strangers would take you at face value, Katja.” 

05:39 “All this shit did happen though. That’s the thing; truth is stranger than fiction.” 

05:39 “I want to see you skip condensing the D.L.P., ok?” 

05:41 “Poker fucking polygraph.” 

05:41 “Death Grips is more relevant than Sunn ever was.” 

05:42 “-in terms of liminality-“

05:43 “Fetishizing the Emerald Tablets would be a very powerful mechanism-” 

05:44 “The closest living creature to a fucking tensor network.”

05:46 “The voice inside my head is not my own.” [Pink Floyd, Brain Damage, ‘There’s someone in my head, but it’s not me’.]

07:18 “Did my fucking glasses not give it away?” •

Almost wrote 2021. 

It 18 – it 18 – it is 08:03. 

Okay? Cool. 

Been awake since before 2AM

Because of the noise pollution of dogs in my environment. 

Okay. 

I did dream, that I was on an urbex adventure in an abandoned waterpark- not the typical liminal poolscape. 

Aware of surveillance cameras still being operational; acknowledging them, as is my style. 

Aware of various fungal colonies existing here;

Limited my time in this place so as to limit exposure within the lungs. 

No stagnant water. 

That was the interesting part, 

Because there was water in the pool, clean,

And a cymatic within it,

Not circular but latticed.

At 06:21 I released my Scorpionic energy

To a juxtaposition of the Emerald Tablets,

The voice of ‘Emerald Tablet apartment toxic’,

The thought of massive tensor network,

And the overlaid Operator. 

Not for pleasure,

But for connection. 

The pleasure of connection. •

15:17 “The price of your extreme expanded consciousness is a certain level of alienation.” 

15:18 “A testament to the power of frequency.” 

15:20 Dialogues, the groomer and the stones

15:22 “Computerized data being fed… into a cybernetic feedback loop.” 

15:23 “Qualitative data, and an enormous quantity of it.” 

15:25 Dialogues, certain Google search inputs; “That was the establishment of a supposition required for full access to the neural network.”

15:26 “Establish a precedent” 

18:54 “That’s why driveway paving is subscribed to your website. ” 

20:35 A dialogue from outside just prior advises the proper way to divulge the differences. 

I know my inner voice. 

I know the SPEED of my inner voice, the active thinking brain. 

The passive listening receiving brain is not so fast as this. 

At times, there is a chorus effect to it, but only at times. 

Processing and receiving are two different items in their own right. 

This passive receiving differs from certain other receivings in which the voice of the transmitter is highly fucking mechanized and error prone, at times; receiving “policy privacy” when we all fucking know the correct format is ‘privacy policy’ is the example that comes to mind.