21 May- 27 May 2024

Had the weirdest dream that I drank a shooter of Fireball and then had to hide the evidence?

Even way back when I used to drink, Fireball was always disgusting.

So weird! What does *that* mean!?

I dreamt a familiar ski resort, a familiar chairlift; 

Though familiar only to the realms of dreams, & no snow, going up a mostly flat space. 

Give Sisyphus a chairlift! 

This place, resort, whatever, I have visited occasionally for years in the Realms of dreams. 

Even writing about it conjures a flurry of memories, various ski resorts from the Realms of Sleep that are, apparently, core memories. •

A memory of the Inex, “I need to borrow your face”, no context. 

Gave context, 

Created Fractals.

As one does, I guess. • 

16:36 A dialogue, “I am suspicious of [his] motivation.” 

So over being suspicious of motivations. 

Let me enjoy reality. 

Let me fucking live. 

Do I even mean this?

I seem to like being suspicious;

And there is enough suspicious stuff to last for…

A lifetime, no doubt. 

There’s something to be said here for not wanting Illusions to be destroyed. 

Another something to be said for believing what is in front of ones eyes. 

Feels so… foolish of me,

To want it all to be able to be taken at face value. 

Throw all the weird neuroses about like,

International psyops to the side.

Conspiracy, all of it.

Pronoia. For once. 

Just like, allow the universe to be conspiring IN my favour. 

…I seem to have good results, in the Liminals, 

When I fall asleep in the arms of my multidimension Faceless Entity. 

To be held.

So small, isn’t it, to wish to be held?

So small, and somehow, everything. •

18:35 The question of the identity of Paul Revere and his “midnight ride” presents itself.

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…Extremely oscillatory, today, and it is not even 08:30.

I dreamed, last night.

I was psychically monologuing Galadriels opening speech from the Fellowship;

‘I feel it in the water… I smell it in the air’; 

And woke very suddenly just prior to 03:30, less than a minute later, The power transformer blew outside the house. 

Extreme storm, and all.

Apex energy. 

Pleasing. 

I am not pleased NOW. 

Not displeased, but not pleased. 

The thought, not Inex but thought, occurs to me at 08:30 that

Odin is my lover. 

My Faceless Man. 

Amplification. 

Peaks and Troughs. 

What do I want, today? 

It is the disturbing reality presenting, now;

Left Hand Algiz, 

Right Hand Uruz, 

Marked in my very veins by two gods,

For in this moment I am Loki, now,

Imprisoned in the 

Tesseract Time Cube 

For crimes against both men and gods. 

That is the beauty of the Norse oscillation;

Abstraction and experience

Create a spectrum

Of Loki to Heimdallr 

Upon a multidimensional neural network world tree. 

Freyja, Frigg, presenting at various neural points

As a form of the Sophia,

Reality shifting even now, again,

Like a Rubiks Cube of consciousnesses, energies,

To an underworld-esque reality juxtaposing Hekate, quantum death, quantum immortality,

Hollow Earth as metaphor,

Agartha. 

Collaging reality. 

Notional. •

09:44 Matrix reality dialogues. 

Detroit Day, 313, 13 March. 

Experimental machines,

Outsourced labour. 

“You already have a job, you just have to show up”, the Inex had said a couple days, few days prior to my interview at this place that wasn’t an interview at all, just a ‘here is your new hire paperwork’ upon sitting down. 

Biological exposures. 

Sick, one day a week for months on end. 

I have not been sick since I left. 

Not missed a single day of work since. 

Hate. 

~~~~~~~~

Something to do with continuing to be able to extract useful information from a universe. 

Universe as ‘The Me’,

As well as ‘Known Universe’. 

Do I still have useful information?

Of course. 

It’s just that a lot of it comes in the form of

Extremely nefarious extrapolated reality collages. 

How problematic, in theory, do we want to be? •

Not sure, either, what is up with Metas advertising algorithm.

Just this overwhelming amount of bras? 

I do not, cannot wear these things

Without discomfort to the physical format,

The upper abdominal region. 

Pressure causes changes.

I operate accordingly. 

Take the fucking hint, Algorithm.

Elastic?

Shapewear??

What the fuck!

Do! Not! Compress! The physical format! 

~~~~~~~~

There is something to do with love and r(evol)union in the Processor, now. 

A story worth telling. 

I wonder to all fuck, 

What that short period of engagement with Yew was,

What frequency that was that *so* fleetingly activated the sexual desire in the brain again. 

Here, only briefly, then gone. 

As if it never were. 

Having a princess in the (Eighth) Tower moment, now. 

What the fuck? 

There goes that one particular reality where I am the psychic laughingstock butt of the infinite Cosmic Joke and OOOH I hate that one in particular. 

~~~~~~~~

I dreamt, this morning, of a man, panhandling. 

I was intelligence.

He had been an electrical line worker before an accident. 

The importance of asking the RIGHT questions was the main takeaway, here. 

A snapshot of myself, attached to the back of a military vehicle. •

19:32 …Feeling more human, now, than I usually do. 

The whole ‘standing alone in front of Eternity’ of it, now. 

My God, my God, a multitude of waves… reduced? 

What is this feeling? 

All is different, recently.

Not… knocked offline, when I get home from work. 

Slowly interacting with physical reality again. 

What do we need to create, now? 

…was that just a fleeting BANG! Of a gun, in a Suicide Fractal? 

Overdramatic as fuck. 

“Forget these musicians”, it had told me.

How? 

‘As I left the world behind’ (Story of Flying)

‘Your world, that is’ (Head Like A Hole)

I remember what I have had. 

Living Khanates discography has been… interesting. 

Tormentor? AhA! Words! 

Thor-Mentor! 

Tor- A hill or rocky peak

Tor- Latin – Net

Tor- German – Goal

Tor- Hungarian – Break

Tor- Icelandic – Thursday

Tor- Polish – Track, Path

What are the right questions?

Quest-Ions. 

What’s in a word? 

In one (or more than one?) reality

I am Loki;

Marked by both Thor and Heimdallr. 

On an opposite end spectrum…

I am not Loki, 

I am that which kills Loki –

Loki and Heimdall kill each other,

And it is metaphor. 

Phor – Latin – Bearer of

Meta – Latin – Goal

Twice now, tonight, ‘goal’ has been translated from various languages. • 

He knew how to pronounce my name.

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