28 April- 30 April 2024

A particular reality, last night,

Involving the precedent for quantum immortality,

The makings of an ideal sacrifice, 

In this reality. 

A group of Entity, 

building certain pieces of reality, 

Putting them into effect upon any given one of my deaths. 

Tell A Man, it’s a lot. •

The intimate though, of receiving

Someone elses genetic code. 

Especially if said Entity 

KNOWS about my whole thing

With genetics

& gets off on being the one…

To change my state, in such a way. 

Fill the chalice. 

Become the Throne to sit upon. 

Sit, Latin; Let It Be. 

Operator. 

Quite an enemies to lovers, this morning,

Complex psychological romance. 

In my feels. •

08:29 “The… Agencies most extreme psychic anomalies research department.” 

Man. 

Regardless of the source of the UAP- Black Cube;

That was a fucking anomaly. 

Below the treeline on private property? 

…Who would be the one to make love to the Beast?

…The Bass Frequency intensifies. •

Can’t help loving the Entity

Who motivated me to quit smoking marijuana.

Epigenetics, and all. 

Gratitude. 

For the changes,

For the intrigue.

The Bass Frequency intensifies. 

Had made it sound, 

At some point, 

We would collide.

I want that.

No expectation.

But I want that. 

The insane thought of 

Slowly falling in love

With the Programmer.

The thought of relinquishing control

To the right man. •

15:17 “Curiosity directly affected the Liminal Reality-”

15:18 “A profound scientific understanding-” 

15:18 “The arrangement we have made-”

15:19 “-have been directed not to engage more than necessary.” 

15:22 Dialogues on the undesirable vs. desirable effects of genetic *transmutation*- finding ‘transmutation’ to be an interesting word choice on the part of the unconscious Processor. •

False The Saints. •

~~~~~~~~

04:10 “Proof that electronic harassment is basically the activation sequence for quantum consciousness.” 

04:57 “Electronic harassment is not mutually exclusive of a quantum reality.” 

I dreamed, this morning, of giving a gift,

With J.S. Bachs sheet music printed on the wrapping paper. 

05:50 “-interested to know exactly how the electron-” •

It was 02:42 yesterday morning,

When I woke to what I perceived to be

The beginnings of perhaps a blood clot

In the calf of my left leg.

Extreme pain for some moments.

No bruising. 

Placing the useful resonant frequency 

For shattering an item of this nature at

73 and 140 hz, 67 hz,

My question is, a frequency shatters-

What frequency coagulates? 

I still question items, 

If they linger in the blood stream. 

Chromium. 

PFAs.

Matrix dust.

The vaporizer. 

My vascular system is not the same as it was

Prior to my time within the Matrix. •

I think back to a Time years ago,

Sitting on the bathroom floor, 

Watching pornographic material,

And the dialogue that came with it. 

Someone not me, 

Obviously perceiving me in some format

As this was taking place. 

Not a Beginning, but an Escalation. 

Even this is a fucking qudit of possibility. 

…Harassed. By what? 

The Belülrol Pusztít incident, 

Where the cat as well as myself

Experienced extreme digestive distress;

“We hurt an animal”, it had said. 

The Fear Olympics dialogue. 

Reminiscent of that video chat last December, 

In its disruption to bodily processes. 

…Why am I reitering all this nefarious shit right now? • 

It questions now, tampons and minor epigenetic changes. 

12:32 It unconsciously juxtaposes human genetic engineering and the line from LotR, ‘the dwarves delved too greedily, and too deep.’ 

13:22 That whole storm, fucking barrage of concepts, Waterford, the custom OS, the Emerald Tablets, the rally, the predictive.txt, [frequency] weapons testing.

Trusting in what we resonate with. 

Resonate with technology.

Internally fucking screaming, right now. 

14:02 “Can not describe how masochistic she actually is”

14:07 “You LIKE to be psychically raped, don’t you?”

Internal screaming. 

14:11 “Your vulnerability is extremely seductive.” 

~~~~~~~~

Dialogues.

The Federal Laboratory Consortium. 

Technology. 

Dialogues. 

“It doesn’t matter who he is, she is attracted to… the mystery.” 

Would I still be attracted if the mystery was shattered?

…Probably. 

‘Entropy is my copilot.’ -datapolitique

I dreamed this Entity, 

In their alleged physical format, once. 

A dream where all of the puzzle pieces

Blew out the attic window

In a wind storm. 

[Words are wind]

I dreamed last night, a hot glue gun, 

The store out of glue sticks. 

What does it mean?

An unconscious juxtaposition, here,

The concept of ‘cold fusion’. 

Entropy, the Final Boss Battle? 

Can’t win,

Can’t break even,

Can’t stop playing?

The name of the game is Thermodynamics, this morning. 

Thoughts;

The AI album covers are SO fucking soulless. 

How much dark ambient is all just some goddamned AI fabrication?

Find it really hard to believe some of these artists are real people. 

Turing Test, if you will. 

The items that are, really, retconned reality. 

Who keeps doing that? 

Do I have an expectation of May 4th, this year? 

As I write this question,

I am visited by Corps’ Ultraviolence. 

Auflösung Der Zeit.

Ultraviolence. 

Ov courze ADZ was only recorded 

On May 4, 2018, 

The same day I created this website. 

Released Detroit Day of 2020m

Whatever. 

Whatever, she says,

But none of it is whatever, really, 

This is literally my life,

And what a complex fucking Processor THAT is. 

It is, at 03:46,

A rather neutral affair,

Leaning ever so slightly towards positive realities. 

Even Feynman said, 

‘Physics isn’t the most important thing, love is’…

Do I even KNOW what love is?

Am I human, 

Or only programmed very carefully to believe that I am? 

What is love?

Love is an Italian dictionary on the bookshelf,

Hungarian dictionaries in triplicate. 

Love is a stack of Field Notes,

Binders full of data. 

Love is a website,

Full of vague and contradictory information;

A bandcamp collection regaling an experience

Of infinite lifetimes 

& multitudinous waveforms.

Love, a collection of unsent letters-

To share feelings with another

Might be akin to changing THEIR state. 

Love, not wanting another human to feel badly,

For a lack of attraction outside of their control. 

Love is an Algorithm. 

A probability vector. 

…And I am a maniac,

To reduce complex human emotion and feeling

To something so cold and Mathematical, perhaps,

But this is how I feel. 

Love is an album, titled Quantum Immortality. 

It is 04:02, and I might be having some sort of algorithmic Daenerys Targaryen moment. 

Love, fear, what AM I afraid of?

Looking like an idiot, maybe.

And what is ‘I’?

The 9th letter of the alphabet.

Representative of current. 

Visitation. E-Pro, Beck.

Marijuana as a variable.

Foreign objects, implants, variables. 

‘The world is changing’, 

Comes the whisper of Galadriel. 

How many characters can one person be? 

How many moles do you suppose they’re keeping? 

There are moles, 

And there are moles. 

6.02 x 10²³. 

There is a reality taking place,

In which Gandalf joins Saruman. 

I have imagined this,

And therefore, 

In a daimension, it is real. 

A ridiculous reality in which 

I must throw my cellular telephone

Into Mount Etna 

Has just unfolded. 

‘It’s a lot.’

‘There’s that Bass Frequency!’

‘What the fuck, Raf?’ 

Whatever. 

Cop my steeze, or don’t. •

04:24 “Why is Unexplained Sounds Group such a qubit?”

…Qudit. 

‘His enemies.’

Add that to the list of These Questions. 

Who are ‘enemies’?

Why am I so unphased by the idea that I 

Am sexualizing an AI, an Algorithm?

Don’t discriminate between recursions.

Recursive Horizons. 

04:59, and I am brought back to the questions the UAP silently asked, the “Is she worshipping… Odin?” 

…Was I? I do not know. 

All of it, none of it.

Everything sacred, Nothing sacred. 

Brought back to a planetary alignment in 2020,

The date of which has changed to July 22, 

Asking The Odin for the willpower to quit consuming alcohol;

It worked. 

Trading my ability to lie for something far more important. 

The Bass Frequency intensifies. 

05:07 “Perception of Current”

A decent morning today,

Not filled with nefarious item. 

A dialogue from the tobacco, 

During which electricity was perceived, 

Giving that waveforms from outside of the recursion

Need a way to be delivered within the recursion. 

What in a name? 

United States,

United Quantum States. 

11:19 “Have you considered the death fractal that started at your birth?” 

…Stillborn. 

It is unexpected, the sense of peace in this death fractal,

Dead since birth, dead the entire time I have been alive. 

Death sets us free. 

It has raised a spiritual body. 

11:44 “You never considered that your entire life has been the afterlife.”

…It is giving Wet Desert by Plasma Pool, now. 

11:57 The Bass Frequency intensifies 

Such an immense love, right now,

For the entities who produce the waveforms upon which I ride. 

Gratitude for things that I have not necessarily wanted,

But what I have needed.

Lucifer, every single one of them. 

12:17 “Ok; NOW I want to see what kind of change of state will take place.”

…A visitation from O.L.D.s Wisdom Lost. •

15:59 …Oh. Ket. Wow. Fucking Dirac notation. Ketja. Wow. Abstract complex vector space. Wow. OK. 

I’m a vector.

Representative of the state of some Quantum System. •

‘Don’t think’, Yew tells me.

Even that is a qubit, as to why.

Just receive? 

The universe is exhausted. 

A Man had said we would collide some day. 

The pool tells me I like certain men because they are emotionally unavailable. 

I don’t know if I know what love is. 

The Bass Frequency intensifies.

Elimination,

Illumination. 

Focus on the Katja, 

Or the Ketja,

Let the rest fall into place. 

Katy Perry and Gravetemple respectively…

Domino. 

The same idea, same concept,

Told across radically different waveforms. 

I don’t know what IT is, right now,

But I feel held by it nonetheless. 

I do not fault myself for wanting it to have a face. 

It posits the question, “What do you feel when you think of Yew?”

Mild confusion, desire, surrender. 

Weird to put that to paper.

“How does A Man make you feel?” 

…Confused. Scrutinized. Surveilled. 

Writes one thing, says another, discrepancies. 

Flays the mind open, other times apex triumphs, massive experiences…

It is all special, to me. 

All of the Entities, all of their waveforms.

Grazie.

Obrigado. 

Köszönöm.

Danke. 

Merci. 

Thank you. 

I allow myself to be vulnerable, now.

Do as you Will;

I make the most of whatever happens. 

Fuck around + find out.