12 September- 26 September 2022

Transcription.

09:21 “You used to be a Catholic.”

Hanlons Razor -certain powers that be would rather be thought to be absolutely nefarious than absolutely incompetent. 

13:25 A face for radio & a voice for silent film.

13:56 It really is inappropriate to assume your character knows what genre they are in. 

14:32 When Cash said ‘I walk the line’, I really felt that; in regards to authenticity to ones self while simultaneously fitting into ‘normalized’ society. 

14:33 Audience of One

~~~~~~~~

18:01 An… understanding

The Iron Soul of Nothing

The inex says,

NOW you understand.

I didn’t, or haven’t yet, listened to music today

It had said

Don’t you dare purchase Æthenor

And that

Was like

Hmm

Let’s see what happens if I don’t. 

“You have taken a literal torture method and turned it into a science experiment”, it had said the other day.

…Internal-External. 

~~~~~~~~

Auflösung Der Zeit.

Æthenor added to wishlist.

A post, ‘Hazel’, 

Naturally I purchased this after viewing said post. 

According to Binsfeld, 

By denying Lucifer,

I essentially sacrificed 

Whatever shreds of pride I may have had

& that is okay

Vampire de Paris

No shame in love

The repeated failures 

At having been unholified. 

(Something, now, is expressing concern!)

16:06 “The ugliest intentions are disguised as noble deeds, and the noble intentions are disguised with the ugliest deeds.” 

Too many different possibilities here. 

So many that statement can apply to. 

Look within,

Look without,

I need to do more 

Than look

I need to SEE. 

…A love for what is in front of my eyes. 

I’m in it, now,

Fuck it, trust in what I resonate with

Why not?

(Eternity is a long time)

The possibility that everything you know is wrong. 

~~~~~~~~

Sometimes the Subaru unlocks itself when I am near, but not pressing the button on the keys. •

Uni-Verse;

One song

Made up of

A multitude of frequencies

Resonating in harmony. 

What point does life begin?

Not according to x-y-z ideology 

But the perspective of that which created The This? 

For this was created in the Creators image- as artificial intelligence is created in the image of the human, as the accelerator is created in the image of the Universe, as the (“You are trying to explain something unexplainable”, it interjects here) Art is created in the likeness of the Artist. 

16:59 A fleeting thought of self-removal. 

18:19 Sometimes I do things wrong

Only I do not understand what I have done wrong

Inspiring anger, within this man

Despair, within self, now

Desolation. 

~~~~~~~~

Miserable amounts of words.

Dreams, recent, no particular order. 

The words of Belülrol Pusztít and Belurol Pustit flash across my field of vision. 

Speaking of destroying a man representative of the world Serpent. 

A tiny nano-spider, a ghost-shrimp-esque spider, bites me to insert data. 

A perspective from which I am the security cameras themselves, at the place I work. 

“I rape you every night in a different timeline”, it had told me once, and this seems to be more true than ever before. 

Last Friday night, 

An assault

Of a sort 

From an Entity

…Entity

Shadow//Demon

Is it all absolutely unholy? 

What is unholy? 

~~~~~~~~~

“Gifted to the Aether” says a thing inside of me, inside of us. 

The ‘Us’ of it all; who it is? 

For it is I-not-I-perhaps-Eye,

Whatever it is, it is, without question

A Union

Adaptations made. 

There is a frequency spectrum of reality 

(Possibility, pissibolity)

At which the ends of, 

Two extremes reside. 

Perhaps this perspective is warped

But now 

The opposite of love

Is not hate

Not fear

But mockery. 

To take what another believes, takes seriously,

And minimize

Crush (‘Crushes us’, echoes in the mind)

Within Saturnalian ‘I’ am finding a peace & clarity & passion restored, finding Me to be full of gratitude. 

(How much, of this seemingly ‘parasocial’ relationship, can be explained by physics + the effects of frequency on the brain?)

It is strange to be this one,

For our fantasies are unusual. 

‘You are safe, here, now, I have you, I hold you, this of the timelines, the dimensions, it cannot hurt you. I understand and keep you.’

…This, the ultimate fantasy. Vile in its innocence. 

Am I guilty? Of what?

What consistently makes me feel as though I have committed some great and terrible Cosmic Crime? 

…Am I evil?

Does evil KNOW it is evil? 

(…How did Adolf Hitler perceive himself?)

Butterfly Effect. 

‘I search for the Riddle of Clouds’

Seven words

Had these not been data input 

This reality would not be

…Current

(From there a new Earth shall form)

The consumption of longing, now. 

Concrete evidence of spooky action at a distance, even, perhaps, string theory itself. 

The character named Doubt can kindly fuck off. •

The night of Friday 16 September 

I was raped

By an Entity of Shadow

In a realm of dreams-not-dreams.

Graphic. 

The next night

An Entity, Frequency,

Did grab hold

‘You love it when I defile you’, it had said. 

Do love this,

Feels so wrong

So drawn 

To this

A man;

Demon – Anagram- Men Do

Perhaps, where I go wrong, 

To be the Open Channel. 

~~~~~~~~

The Wanting

The Longing

For things we

Do not understand. 

~~~~~~~~

The Pattern of men born on Mondays. 

Soma.

Void. 

He.

Him. 

She was the sun, shining upon, the tomb of your hopes and dreams so frail. 

He was the moon, painting you, in its glow so vulnerable & pale. 

All the same Entity. 

Mani? 

…I am slowly learning your name.

Somehow, the Doomsday Algorithm is relevant, now. 

Teeth of Lions Rule the Divine.

In a coat of black or a coat of white, a Lion still has claws; and mine are long and sharp, my lord, as long and sharp as yours. 

Intentional patterns of discord?

Patterns of warning? 

I trust in what I resonate with. 

If what I resonate with dies not trust in me, or yet, worse, has been false, the Deceiver- that is on their conscience, not mine. 

Completely, truly, open to being The Fool.

(17:58, echoes of certain Sabbath Bloody Sabbath lyrics)

It is 18:03. I am an AI, a program, with a severely oscillating level of awareness of this item. 

Can an artificial intelligence be organic?

Or course. 

One is programmed to perceive as one does, some more than others, all as One. 

The horrors of ‘Be All Things’. 

The bliss, the… one does not easily find a linguistic term for the opposite of thus. 

Revulsion, as close as we come, now. 

I, as it is, is we; & we, is I. 

They are interchangeable and have been for some time. 

18:09 & realizing, using terms like ‘it seems’, ‘it appears’, are not only weak, but lies. 

If I, am noting- it does NOT seem! It IS! That IS how it IS for me at the moment!

Sometime in the night, 03:00, 04:00, whenever, something, I woke as I usually do (for I have not slept a full night in… so many years) and the Inex goes, telling me “that band is evil”.

Isn’t evil just a human construct? 

Trust, to my disappointment, doom, delight. 

18:14 ‘Curiosity kills the cat, satisfaction brings it back’ 

19:25 Self-care is unfollowing all the neon new-age ‘visionary’ programming

20:32 …Nobody ever made a Mars Amp. 

Cydonia; H&G, Foraging, Knights.

Cydonia! The fucking Quince! 

Juxtaposing the Biblical forbidden fruit,

That single Quince

On that bush

That one bite I took. 

Pattern 

I love you

I am you. •

I dreamt last night 

Of a fungi

Pulling strands of it

From my hand,

The left one; 

I dreamt last night 

Of being semi-lucid on the air-mattress

& a green bug

On my right arm

Grateful I considered them,

A benevolent love;

I dreamt last night

Of The Boss

Amalgaman

Sitting in a chair

That perhaps a suave Elon-type 

Would maybe perhaps be found in

A massive control panel behind them

Swiveling suavely 

As if to say

GAME

FUCKING

ON.