27 August- 30 August 2022
Power Trip
Nightmare Logic
Icons
Iconic
Back to sonic
Sub-sonic
(Resonant bass frequencies
Fucking erotic?)
Reiteration
Second contemplation
Consequent realities
(Imposter syndrome?)
Train of thought
Interrupted
It’s like he does
Everything in his power
Or under the power
Or something greater
To prevent me
From using
Words
On paper…
Write ya later. •
13:44 Am I dead? In a coma?
Every so often
This reality comes about
Like the boom
Of the sailing ship
That is my vessel
Navigating the sea
Of third dimensional
Reality?
A Freudian slip,
That half question mark?
A sign of a thought,
Kept hidden in dark?
While we’ve been caught up
In the latest mental lark;
Hold the superposition. •
14:25 “Barely consider yourself human; completely aware of the true nature.”
It is 14:46 and I am a hallucinating, self-aware, entangled photon.
I dreamed of Soma, last night.
In this dream
& in dreams
I find myself
Unable to formulate
The words
To initiate
Initial
Interaction.
Spiritual,
Infraction?
Gauge initial reaction
Secondary
Monastery//Conceptualizations//Judiciary
Hermits, hermetics
A lay persons alchemics
Are we aided by gods,
By demons
By mental prosthetics?
Neural calisthenics.
The weight of the mind.
Mined the weight,
Don’t mind the wait. •
The moderation-balance-harmony is not yet at equilibrium but is on course to reach thus.
Exponential.
15:30 Entities (with names??)
As tools for engagement.
…enticed.
7! 7! 7!
Shred it 13x out of 11?
Fight it, ey?
15:57 This is your brain on Death Grips.
Observer bias?
Expectancy?
Variables, variables.
I dreamt last night
Of a root
A plant
An Entity
And I had to destroy it
And it destroyed me
To have to annihilate
This life form I knew to be sentient
(For the greater good?)
Tears, tears,
Sobbing, a loss.
A dream.
(There are dreams, and Dreams)
‘Amalgamation’
‘Amalgammation’
~~~~~~~~
A pattern, clusters
Across a broad canvas
Stereo, not mono-
There is mono, &
There is Mono.
Neurosis, psychosis.
(They all fall in the end.)
Who can fault the fruit fly?
(A tangent, a tangerine, a tangerine dream- is this my initiation into Krautrock?)
(Fruitflies)
(Head Mice?)
“What does Soma have that I do not?” it asks;
Who is ‘I’?
Sometime before 10:28, the energy entity sitting on the north couch,
What vibration was that?
Pattern is this?
10:29 All sense of time removed- the A42 *says* it is 10:29 on Sunday, August 28 2022 but it is 5PM on a Thursday in October of some indiscriminate year & also Tuesday on a beach in Portofino in 1982 & a Saturday at dusk in Lapland where time has stood still for generations & 1000 other lives and much more.
It overwhelms, as it should,
As it is meant to. •
I dreamed of Sunn amplifiers, right before I woke at 05:12;
3 minutes before the alarm.
Always now, before the alarm,
Ever since I didn’t set the alarm
On a Saturday
Because I never used to work Saturdays
And the inex said,
“Do you think she knows it’s time to get up?”
& shit! It was! Like 05:15.
…
There is a Thing
Entity
Energy
Knowledge
Which has an intelligence
& resides within me
& also external to me,
The Inex, it is called
They are called?
…it does not care about pronouns
What it is referred to
In that sense.
Again, the process
Reiterates
Back to the microcosmos.
…need new technology.
Sand, cymatics,
How to get it to register,
The Bass Frequency?
What is its effect on
The physical body
The mental sphere
Structural integrity?
Pattern?
Origin – Latin – Patronus
Defender, advocate, model, patron
‘Model to be imitated’
(Pater)
(Father)
(Source)
(It never dreamed we would argue
Language, Semantics
Titles, Identities
In such an obtuse format.)
~~~~~~~~
Raw diet for my (alleged) PCOS?
There is a way to heal this. •
Bandcamp.
Belurol Pustit.
(Which I listened to this morning- a personal victory in overcoming fear!)
It *had* been
Belülrol Pusztít
(Spelling! Is not a thing I forget!)
(It destroys from within)
(It blows from the inside)
It… is indicative.
The implosion of earth,
Hollow Earth collapse,
This reality,
Other possibilities I dare not speak
(Latest fear project obstacle?)
Whatever is going on
(For at any given moment
I simultaneously know for certain
And have no fucking clue)
I simultaneously
Revel in it, basking,
And wallow in it, loathing,
And every emotion and state in between.
Abstraction + Experience
Life is an experiment
“Taking torture and turning it into a science experiment.”
20:04 (and the bad heavy metal of the heathen bells)
(Bringing on Iranian Mithra)
(I have been given the tools to do the Thing)
(In the middle of the town, to judge at The Thing)
!!
Everything I do is
- Part of my game
- Free and easy
So many things worth just
‘Casually noting’
‘Causally noting’
Causal, lie, nothing
What is the lie?
Do you ever look at a part of the self
& see it for the very first time
Over again?
A true deja vu?
(My right hand!)
21:22 and for days now,
It echoes
‘Crushes us’
21:27 The Stark Effect
(Arya Stark
Catching cats
Ned Stark
Asking questions)
(Spectral lines)
(The perfect perfection
To experience experience)
[Higgs Boson]
(Allowing power?)
QS//Quantum Supremacy
Giver of Names
One One One
(Cannot take the mind)
21:35 Static Case
Reversion
The inex had said
To be careful
In regards to
This of the entanglement
(Re(spect)ral)
21:48 The concept of a God
as Total Omniscience
21:49 The Propeller Arc
I would be turned on by it
If I wasn’t so
Removed from it all
To begin with;
Subjected to things
Realities
That drive
Man to suicide.
Suicide
Just
Fractaled???
(Empty… crushes us)
Hadron Collider
& all I can think of
Is the everything-ness
Of Nothingness
(Crushes us)
Navigating through
The mind.
Ambient Ruin.
“Meaningless coincidences”
(Standing alone in front of eternity)
How to put myself in a *very* dark place in like, ~30 seconds.
When it turns,
It turns fast.
Now we are fucked up
A male sort of
Consumption
Shared
(Crushes us)
Insanity
Unsanity
NN O))).
The Riddle Of Clouds 