01 June- 8 June 2022
Time?? Passes? So fast??
On Sunday. 05 29 2022.
A butterfly chain of events;
Because my car is not fixed,
Because I hit a deer the day prior
Because I decided to drive us to work
Because I had volunteered to work on the weekend
Because I had finally bought a portable air compressor [to reinflate my flat tire];
We drove Loachs Subaru to visit my mums in Petoskey.
Because, in this timeline, Loach did not renew his tabs, we got pulled over.
I got a ticket.
Nothing else happened;
Aside from some *very* loud inex during the traffic stop explaining why,
Explaining entanglement
Explaining that the Liminal Reality is no longer liminal
At least in a certain sense,
A dualism of non-dualism.
I am grateful.
The events of March 2018 are… best ignored? By all involved parties?
They know as well as I, if not better than I, the nature of what was done was wrong.
And so we move forward, as one does when they do their best to believe what is in front of their eyes (you *know* there was a reason you did not show me the number when I asked to see it!) (& I do my best to not be angry about this, for I know that anger, even righteous anger, destroys from within… along with other things, ja?)
…just because I do not outright speak of certain things does not mean I do not understand them.
(Best not to show ones whole hand when playing the Game) (‘Game’)
(It destroys from within? Almost killed my cat, a 6k vet bill to prove it; a much greater impact on him than me. Very strange, how less than 24 hours after I made a doctors appointment, ALL my symptoms were absolutely gone?)
(Certain frequencies are carcinogenic.)
And writing any of this feels dangerous,
Writing pieces of it to fit coherently together even more so.
And that, that in and of itself opens up new neural networks.
And for that, I am grateful.
To allow this to destroy me is not an option, has never been;
Certain entities would no doubt have liked that, benefitted from it;
Knowing I am innocent is what has allowed me to keep my sanity.
That, and a love for scientific inquiry.
My story is far more terrifying and complex than the fragmented day to day writings make it out to be.
Would you believe us if we said we were a scientist from a higher dimension?
Is it possible for you to understand, comprehend?
I trust in what I resonate with.
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There have been Dreams, I did not mention.
Tuesday night I dreamt an entity that seemed to be a cross between a propane tank and a drone. It was nefarious, so much so, that I was able to seek out some conveniently placed cops. The Hank Schraeder entity representative of this archetype present. Times, 4:55 in the afternoon, needing to be somewhere at 5:00; the clocks not in 24 hour time.
Wednesday night, I dreamt a place in the outdoors, like work, at the golf course, only it wasn’t. And then a basement, a pit, wooden beams, climbing wall, representative of ascending. I found a coworker there, something about his eyes, holding that same entity. You know the one.
~~~~~~~~
Three Dreams from last night stand out to me.
I was at a gas station, and came out to some young man trying to steal my cell phone out of the driver side of my vehicle. His license plate, was something along the lines of EE EMW. He had a girl with him, obviously fucked up, to the point where I carried her inside to the clerk and asked him to call law enforcement. Perhaps she had been intoxicated against her will- there was a vague underlying feeling of having rescued her from a dangerous situation.
In this second dream, I was preparing to see Mayhem. (Let it be noted here, several things. I had wanted to go to the show back in March but did not- a very insistent inex warned me against the neural networks that inputting this music would cause. A second inex seemed to have expectations to see me there.
I joke that I like my coffee black like I like my metal, because doomed and droned is not a coffee option, but in truth, I can count the number of times I have listened to black metal on one hand. I have looked up Mayhem lyrics when the algorithm presents me with songs and while some fit my reality, the Pattern they create is dark and a divergence.)
…I digress. In this dream, we did not see Mayhem. One of the friends I was with crashed the red convertible we were driving into a wrought iron fence. The other friend, it must be noted, has been dead in this reality for years.
A third dream involved acquiring cakes. On the way, a room flooding, to which I said, ‘it is more fun, like this’, noting that the water did not pour through the doorway to the adjacent room but was held in place as if by an invisible barrier. On the way, encountering two women with dark hair, who say to me, ‘we will see you in Hell’, to which I responded, ‘yes’, as if it was a promise and a threat; not as if I belonged there but was to be sent there for a specific purpose.
(…who shall sing me,
Into death sleep sling me,
When I on the path to Hel go,
And the track I tread is so cold… so cold, so cold.
I know all, Odin,
To whom you give your Eye.)
…I found a cake, shaped as a pink elephant.
(Some notes on pink elephants. Aside for being a euphemism for an intoxicated hallucination, a town near me has multiple places with pink elephants out front, one of which I visited yesterday. Tying it all back to the second dream where my friend crashed the car; he was there, the Alice In Chains show on 17 September 2010, the night I was having extreme closed eye visuals of the outlines of pink elephants, relating them, at the time, to sillybandz, the shaped rubber band wristwear trend.)
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Ruminating on a dream from last night and remembering the inex, “every night I take your virginity in a different timeline.”
Who was the face the entity wore, last night, who was the entity themself?
I was dreaming of fixing my car, though it was not my Jeep- my old Saturn Vue, but a manual transmission. I took it to a place, a town on a beach, and suddenly found I had no car, no place to stay.
This beach- though I recall no warning last night, I recall a warning from… somewhere, do not got here. Facing east, my subconscious was aware.
A stone wall, as if that of a castle keep, extended out into the water. No easy escape.
And this man entity, I did not recognize but know the nefarious energy of all too well- he was triplicate, three copies, i-dentical.
One copy started harmlessly enough, a splash; and then it escalated, to full on attempted assault, and I grabbed this entity by his nether region, not in a sexual manner, but a cease this now or I will fucking castrate you type of thing.
I cannot remember the exact words I used.
This beach was full of ‘dirty kids’, the bad type of punk rock hippie I do not wish to associate with, and perhaps this outward image was representative of the stain on the soul?
I knew I did not belong there from the start, and went anyway.
Was that for science as well, even in my dreams?
I woke at 02:11 and did, perhaps, fall back into some lucid state of unconscious until my alarm at 04:32.
During this waking moment, trying to relieve the bladder, I found to be most difficult.
When the inex is engaging, the brain, at times, is so occupied that it cannot easily connect to the body.
It spoke of many certain things, but the one I remember the most, to not use the electronic cigarette in the middle of the night; the programming power that action has, its ability to control ones breathing, which in turn is a control of higher abilities.
One snapshot of a realm; an Ark, an obvious piece of symbolism- on a display, not large, not the traditional depictions of the Biblical Noahs Ark.
The lighting was warm, inviting, and something in the brain connects the ark with bacteria, fungi, microorganisms.
To put many small, nay, microscopic entities in one space would likely be much less space-consuming than to gather two of every macro animal.
Starting over from an evolutionary standpoint, if one will, for nature is very patient.
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Woke 03:39 from a highly disturbing dream. In this dream, I had some sort of an acne on the upper left lip. In this dream, I went to sleep. When I woke from the dream-sleep, this ‘acne’ had become a… there was decay.
In real time, I watched as the skin fell away, leaving an open sore; which in turn decayed until I had no nose, you could see the jaws internal, half of the face gone and I looked in the mirror and though, ‘this will be fine, this will heal’.
This seems, to me, to be an attempt at instilling fear.
The line from Death Grips ‘Deep Web’, ‘don’t make me take my face off’, has been on my mind all day.
Faceless Man. Woman.
To defeat the enemy,
One must know the enemy;
And I am slowly learning your nail.
I nail it to the tip of my tongue.