28 February- 14 March 2022

I receive a door dash mailer addressed to Alexus Linthicum.
Pennsylvania Avenue & Q Street S.E.
Receiving a broadcast of Eminems ‘Not Afraid’, around the same time one took place the night before.
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A day of benevolence, today, much gratitude.
Recognizing constructive anger-an anger of things stolen, not material things- a sense of peace, an essence of humanity, things to be retaken.
This, once again, of the war within.
Must druid be both?
We had asked years ago, the original Pilot conversation!
Of course. How could it be any other way?
One thousand thousand both, balances, dualities, move forward, ever onward, upward.
…but; keep where you come from, what you resonate with.
Vibrate multiple frequencies at once, give us the highest and the lowest at the same exact time, understanding.
Worth one million million millions, exponentially;
Reiterate, iterate, reiterate again.
A moment of triumph at the pinnacle of the ascent.
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It feels like lifetimes have passed since the start of this journal.
If my theories are correct, they have.
~22:22 “She knows we sterilized her.”
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Gotta Google. Things of an esoteric nature, Ozymandias, the number 11, the next day these things showing up in a certain man’s Instagram story.
At what point is coincidence not coincidence?
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A dream of Dunn.
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A dream. Attempting to play ‘I Would Do Anything For Love’ on a piano, the pitch all wrong. Petra. Things in the trash, boxes, packages named like song titles of an occultish nature.
Pronoia > Paranoia.
Leaving the paranoid tendencies, few and far between as they are, anymore, down here in South Carolina, transmuted by the ocean, and coming back to Detroit to do what needs to be done.
Detroit, on the 42nd parallel, 42, so much love for the universe.
Receivings, about people who applied for visas and were denied.
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Dreamt of the Elon and Grimes.
The nature of trees.
Paper, trees, non-linear existence in a psychedelic reality.
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311 never happened.
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Headaches for two days now.
Yesterday exceptionally bad on all fronts.
The drive home from South Carolina hostile.
At one point, there was a cracking in the jawbone and I have had sinus pain and a headache ever since.
The emotion, in the care yesterday, ranging from rage and at one point, serious induced thoughts of death and suicide.
So many variables.
Please stop the violent experimentation on me.
As I ask this, something in my right ear, right temple, chirps twice.
I have been drinking a small amount of red wine every few days to aid the digestion; hating that this feels necessary right now, coming with it a certain amount of guilt, not being 100% sober after years of doing so.
God, grant me the serenity.
“You have to win the game”, an inex has said multiple times over the past month.
And always, the dronelords hang over me and I think this form of addiction may be the unhealthiest of all- an addiction not even to music, but to concepts, ideas, possibility; and I can watch myself behaving in this manner and all I can do is love.
Please do not harm me.
Russia bans the export of amplifier tubes.
A Thing comes to me, of 6-6-6 instead of 3-6-9, and I cannot use words to explain it, but I understand it.
Be not afraid, Katja.
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So many dreams. Surveillance by an Asian country. A car that folds into a table. Climbing up a shower wall. A river where I am aware of the quantum nature of water. Texting, and attempting to write out an explanation on… a pile of tortilla chips, and then run it through Deep Dream.
A pervasive sense of longing to be loved, wanted.
An inex, “meritocracy”.
Gratitude most humbly to the powers that be for the lack of a headache, finally.
Many days what is taking place is as to be considered a logic puzzle. It complicates, uncomplicates, recomplicates, in a new iteration, and the patterning feels to be ample evidence of humanity being neural network in its own right. Own rite, that works there too.
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Dreams of hybrid Skyrim. A draugr asleep in a stone plaza, someone waking it; a red powder I knew to be medicine that I had to get back to the rest of my team. An essence of Civil War, Revolutionary War.
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