17 February- 21 February 2022
Dreams of a usual entity.
Dreams of a cup that first says Leo, and then Sagittarius.
‘Will not be shoved unceremoniously to the side.’
…I do my best to be as reliable a narrator as possible.
To truly be able to study myself here as I wish to has, at times, taken a certain level of removal from the self.
At times, this feels dangerous- not in a usual understanding of the word, but in a highly metaphysical sense.
Stranger things have come and gone, says my brain just there.
Questioning the sagittal sinus in juxtaposition with the Sagittarian Domain. Brain relations.
The Bass Frequency, today.
This, of the Bass Frequency.
It is, in no small words, the auditory depiction of the image visualization of the ‘O)))’.
I am not saying correlation, causation, merely saying that the image that is ‘O)))’ allows for the understanding of deeper meanings across multiple sensory fields.
Remembering snippets of dreams from the morning in the afternoon; something to do with the water supply. A vague essence of poison, or perhaps ot was microdosed psychedelics? To cause an excited delirium state.
I may need to occasionally indulge in a glass of red wine, for the digestion?
Wine & Fog… whatever.
A microbe in the fog?
Vlad Tepes. Some understanding of vampirism as not an ‘ooh drink blood’ sort of thing but as a quantum energetic… entanglement.
Putting to words the instant understandings of the world that I am gifted is sometimes near impossible.
There is an entire conceptualized universe behind the way my brain processes seven words into a whole.
Solstitium Fulminate.
Wine & Fog.
Vlad Tepes.
The concept of vampirism is not one easy to work with in the Liminal Reality.
The creative mind, does it suffer so; but only to a certain point, as there is a certain enjoyment I get out of mental gymnastics, otherwise, why would I continue?
…some Thing seems to have hold of my head.
I will not rule out the possibility that it is me.
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I dreamt a place that feels like Michigan, but is not Michigan, but is also not-not Michigan. Wide Michigan; as if experiencing the state from above and the ground simultaneously. An essence of Scandinavia, the Upper Peninsula, perhaps. A curtain of light, snow ghosts by the lake, a river, people in a wooden hut. An essence of ‘as far north as north goes- we need to go beyond that.’ Outpost, an essence of the last try at something that had, until now, been futile. The sun set in the north.
“You were supposed to be a man”, the inex has told me multiple times this week.
Listening to Divine Mysteria on a drive, contradictory concepts from the inex, the pinnacle being weapons testing and surrender to the Fed.
Suffering from imagination?
“Reduced intestinal motility.”
Something feels as though it has wanted me dead for years and I have only just recently started to learn how to live.
Making massive dietary changes and attempting to go raw, vegan, for the foreseeable future.
There *has* been a temporary low intestinal motility the past few days.
The cat has been vomiting, and I wonder are the two related, caused by the same thing.
I am agitated.
All is temporary.
Why 7/11 stopped carrying the red juice… hope that is temporary too.
Temporary tattoo.
I have the opposite of this.
Beyond tattoo.
Who did it come from?
Losing an eye, or is it an I?
What about regaining the I, because of the Eye?
Woden Eye and Heimdall Ear, who shall sing me now?
Reptile Lux, my skull feeling the vibrations, translations.
Aggravations, aggressions.
Do our best to learn lessons.
Unspoken confessions.
Vampiric delicatessen.
Not convinced a quantum existence is *evil*, per se, but definitely not for the faint of heart and mind- at times, I question that I am both.
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Lately in my dreams there have been glimpses of technology, screens. A dream of something very serious, cell phones causing problems. Meeting men my age, that to my knowledge I had never seen before; they were not unkind, but gave warnings.
Took the cat to the vet today because he has been vomiting.
I have also had digestive issues this week, to the point where I wonder exactly what is going on. It seems externally induced.
Why, when I went outside, I received “you’re hurting ANIMALS, [name redacted]”, right after the vet called?
IS there a frequency attacking us?
At times, this feels to be psychological torture.
There is so much I want to say just to get it off my chest, but I am too nervous to actually say, even in writing.
My hope in humanity, I will keep it.
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Last night, I came to an epiphany and added Schrodingers Cat to the list of things that I Am.
From day one, apparently, both dead and alive.
My biological mother Dorota knowing that I lived; my biological father think I died at birth.
Mariusz, the man who raised me says his name was. Derived from the Roman God of War, Mars.
Yet one more tiny piece of a massive Thing.
I went up to the corner store and the same man who had asked ‘same shit, different theories?’ asked if I was bionic. ‘Only slightly’, I replied, when I told him how my grandmother had warned me to ‘stay away from the metals!’ in response to asking why I carried no coinage.
A Pattern, now, fractal.
I dreamt I got a call from ‘Christmas’, asking whether my first language was English. I found myself in a dining room, boxes and a theme of packing. A very small mouse was present, as was a larger rodent, white; a massive rat or perhaps a stoat. I could not contain this creature.
Last night, an inex told me that I was the most dangerous person on the planet.
Whatever danger it speaks of, it is not violence; which feels dangerous in and of itself.
Thought, knowledge.
“This has Pinkerton written all over it.”
‘Possum-1’.
‘University-9’.
Seeming code names.
One tiny piece of a quantum entanglement.
How entangled is the Liminal Reality with the physical one?
Integration.
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I went outside, and saw an object in the sky. I was given the phrases “Divine Apprehension” and “be not afraid, I am with you” on repeat. There was a physical fear reaction that did not reach the psyche.
I consistently hear the low radiating bass rumble pulse now. Multiple times a day, regardless of where I am.
I dreamt of Soma, again, last night.