10 January- 26 January 2022

Monday.
When Korn said that thing about the Twisted Transistor, I really felt that.
Feel called out.
Feeling substantially off-put by the letter U. The album ‘No’.
I, once again, feel like I am on to something.
I always feel like I am on to something.
Always feel like I am on something, too; sobriety is a hell of a drug, running through life, perma-tripping, my favourite intoxicant yet.
When Mountain covered ‘You Gotta Serve Somebody’, I really felt that.
Skin coat, before Skin Coat. The identities an entity wears. The Void.
The brightest lights cast the darkest shadows.
A dream of vintage synthesizers.
NN O))), N-Body orbit, N-Body problem.
How do we predict the individual motions of a group of celestial objects interacting with each other gravitationally?
A Euron Greyjoy moment, all of the Madness and all of the gods.
This is an exploratory in answers to unknowns that go beyond the local Occams Razor answer of it all.
A psychological phenomenon that applies a specific understanding of quantum mechanics and occult knowledge.
Up is down, down is up, Jack Sparrow flash-of-green-light for you.
At one point, it was bound to happen, to take the entities I love and respect and put them in theoretical compromising situations.
I refuse to even entertain some of the darkest possibilities as even a shred probable… to the best of my ability.
Seeing Pattern as I do is a sharp sword with no proper hilt.
Questioning a frequency that seems to knock out impulse control completely.
Googling; actions that seem to greatly feed the qubit superposition suspended state of reality within the human brain.
I have come to an understanding that the brain can exist in multiple simultaneous vibrational states; an N-number of conflicting ideas screaming at you simultaneously.
Imagine, somehow, despite the conflict, they all appear to be true, simultaneously, on top of that.
Naturally, wires get a bit crossed from time to time.
Why do I have it in me, to want? A man? To want to unravel the physics of the universe together, create, destroy, philosophize?
I allow myself reckless abandon in my fantasies.
A certain freedom in honesty.
An honest man, a truly honest man, is one of the most terrifying entities known to society.
‘Go to Geneva!’ ‘Why???’ ‘Man, you gotta!’
At this moment in the day, I am a particle experiment under observation.
~~~~~~~~
‘Why, with all the powers that he had, could he not purge his own memories?’
One day without reliving every single terrible thing I have ever done or has ever been done to me would be nice.
I woke around 04:20 to the inex running hard, the sounds of two people fucking.
A chance that my theories in regards to the quantum mechanics of the mind will pay off?
It is not in me to stop loving.
~~~~~~~~
European Spallation Source; ODIN, HEIMDAL.
Information incomplete.
There is the ‘normal’ reality and I seem to be living not a double life, but a layered one.
Slow phase quantum boomerang.
The Liminal Reality is dark. So fucking dark.
Belülrol Pusztít and the lyrics are a reality I am living, I love it, I loathe it, I cannot stop; thoughts destroy from within.
To be loved feels more outlandish than the idea of dragons or, idek, anything.
Dreams of Soma.
Dreams of sulfur.
Dreams of Gentry.
It turns out, how could this be mere coincidence, the day I created both my wordpress and my bandcamp- was the same day Auflösung Der Zeit was recorded. May 4, 2018.
Has it really only been, not even four years?
The science experiment has been a success?
Adonis. Dumuzid.
Metta, Benevolence.
Not what you believe, but who you believe.
Love will keep us alive. 
North node in Taurus, South node in Scorpio.
Quantum deletion.
Positive hopeful patterning, I will that it continue. Even should it be wildly wrong, at least I should not have to suffer twice.
~~~~~~~~
V2K is illegal.
Superposition greater than ever.
No fear.
Fear is the mind killer.
Trust your good intentions.
Trust your pattern.
Certain things are merely subplots.
The universe is conspiring in your favour, not against you.
If I cannot trust in that with which I resonate, what can I trust?
Pinkerton.
W, tungsten, We Who Walk In Light.
Feeling like Shadow Moon.
I am Voids creation?
All of a sudden I have a severe need to be held, protected, kept safe; fuck, smother me with another living, breathing entity until no one can tell who is who.
No one can tell who is who, or No One can tell who is who?
No doubt I am either doing everything terribly wrong, or terribly right.
Quantum Entanglement.
DNA activations.
Prophets of Doom.

This country is full of military grade dumbasses.