31 December 2021- 01 April 2022

31 December 2021- 9 January 2022
Welcome to the escalation.
Funeral for the Matriarch.
A Liminal Reality convergence of conspiracies.
Wants to be loved.
Dreams of being hunted by a shadow, bathed in purple and red light, very much an Interdimensional Hitman vibe.
‘Any time the mind can be or is being mined it is important to remember that it is just as likely being incepted for said miners to find.’
War of consciousness.
A line from Hitchikers Guide to the Galaxy, ‘a series of meaningless coincidences.’
I am the sperm whale and the bowl of petunias.
Perhaps I have been dead for fucking years. Can think of so many events where this is possible.
I feel that anyone who would either be the avatar of the Christ Consciousness of The Beast would likely be absolutely horrified at the possibility and implication of thus and do their absolute best to avoid detection.
Seeking Patterns- the real addiction.
This entity-called-Odin has replaced my substance addiction with this addiction to Pattern. Frequencies.
A need for moderation.
I managed to flip the Bible open to a passage about ‘hardening of the neck’.
So much pain, this week, the head, the ears, the jaw, the spine.
It is cold, so cold right now.
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A disturbance around 04:15 woke me and gave me no small amount of anxiety, kept me fighting until past 06:00, suddenly gave an impression of healing… the night runs together.
Some terrible synth music from the aether, felt torturous.
Moogs & demons.
It kept on for a substantial period of time; I had tremors and found myself forgetting how to breathe.
Finally able to get to sleep, an inex upon waming, “you don’t vape in this timeline, that’s why youre here, all you need is a bit of willpower.”
“Evidence of a time traveller in truth.”
Receivings about weapons testing.
You won, but at what cost?
I woke up twice on New Years Day. Went to the kitchen, saw the clock, ~02:00, went back to sleep, got up again and the time on the clock was actually *earlier* than it had been prior??
Time travelers with only the vaguest understanding of how it all works.
Questioning a receiving of the name “Alain”, given without Context.
How fully realized is anything, really?
Substantial rumbling sub-bass disturbances from ~10:45 into this afternoon.
Receivings about directed energy.
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Dreams of military tanks.
Dreams of being Arya Stark catching cats.
Dreams of ‘My Wall’.
No cause for concern on your end.
No cause for humiliation on my own.
Life is terrifying and I am addicted.
Dreams of liminal beaches, essences of esoteric learning institutions. Weather changing from sun to black, a waterspout forming to suck up various items… & a conceptual ‘so long and thanks for all the fish’.
UUUU.
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Struggling.
Whatever no-eating really-connective thing my brain did while Loach was out of town, the usual eating at night thing is back.
Doing my best on the willpower thing today; it all feels like programming.
The idea that there is a quantum connection.
Nothing makes sense.
Covid.
We live in a society.
Pondering the possibility of a system reset at 02:00 on 1 January.
Feels like undoings.
I wonder what a quantum psychiatrist would have to say?
Reality is so unhinged, I am simply adapting; albeit very strangely indeed.
Questioning why my phones ‘targeted advertising’ seems to think I am looking to get a haircut and also why ‘big & tall’ men’s apparel is so prevalent. Sure as shit isn’t me.
Terrorism, or the government? Government terrorism?
Partial Response Takes Another Form.
It’s Going All Over The Floor.
Why did my gran say the above word for word?
Pieces of a weird puzzle that I am still unable to discern the actual source of.
Discern… CERN?
Is particle physics unholy?
I cannot fathom a world in which a creator does not want their creations to understand their own nature. I would want my own creations to understand, at least.
Light emitting transistors. A hybrid device exists! Indium gallium phosphide and indium gallium arsenide, emitting infrared photons from the base layer.
Experimental quantum teleportation of propagating microwaves across a distance of .42m.
Something about unconditional security in microwave quantum communications.
Shoutout to Philip Dick.
To doom or to destiny!
…doomed destiny, says something in my mind; but it need not be *my* doom.
“That’s what you forget,” says a something.
Always navigating the Pork Horn Entanglement with my attempts at making sure my intention remains pure. There’s a glaringly blatant oxymoron of paradoxical duality behind this.
Mocking my own solemnity.
“Descend.”
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Dreams of a house falling apart piece by piece.
‘Things Fall Apart’, thinks my brain.
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Inex memories, “you’d pick an unknown over a known.”
Lagrange points juxtaposed with Algiz.
Doing my best to not allow everything to be nefarious as fuck.
Everything is either much more nefarious, much more benevolent, or much more mundane than my thought pattern allows it to be.
Questioning bioengineered microorganisms, and their possible alterations when exposed to frequency.
Tonight, yogurt is a conspiracy.
Patterns and corrupted patterns.
Gated but sustained.
“The dangers of believing literally everything.”
Nitrogen, oxygen… Captain Cannister!
Are all dentists inadvertently perverts?
Peach is an unruly colour.
This, the continuity of years worth of data.
Is this all I am to me? A science project?
What is me?
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Existing as a single standing wave.
Times as reductive ratios?
Is the Fibonnaci Sequence a complete red herring?
Something important in the observation of patterns and numericals from a non-mathematical standpoint.
The Bass Frequencies that had been sporadic now seem to be constant.
Do I hear radiation?
Do I hear decay?
‘Radiating’ is a really accurate word, imo, to describe the one specific bass frequency.
Screaming into the Void, but the Void has a name now, which complicates the comfort level of screaming into thus.
Lunatic shit.
What the fuck is going on?
Dreams of the ghost of an orgasm.
Seeking forgiveness,
Only partially sorry.
The discovery of a galaxy without evidence of dark matter.
I wonder what it is about the mid-afternoon that seems to allow for the provision of a… memory link?
A pattern of 18:16.
Texting my best friend and ‘lmao’ auto-corrects to ‘Schramm’; which led to a google, taking a small bit of digging to uncover yet another piece of a Pattern: Wilbur Schramms Proposed Model of Communication, 1954.
Encoding, decoding.
‘Communication is incomplete unless and until the sender receives feedback from the recipient’.
Juxtapose *the* email.
Juxtapose the concept that Partial Response Takes Another Form.
“You know we couldn’t let you send that, right?”
Create qubit?
Multiply it, times it, amplify it by six.