26-28 December

Substance abuse inherently tied to ego,
Necessary to remove addictions in order to move forward.
Typing comments, lately, but not posting them.
Expressing this thought on addiction, in a comment on a video on Aleister Crowley.
An interaction follows.
I was thanked.
A man who understood this,
But lacked the willpower to overcome.
Seem to be finishing a job.
Viewing ones self as Horus.
Become many things as this vessel, so considered.
‘There is a saying that whenever an adept seems to have made a straightforward, comprehensible statement, then it is most certain that he means something entirely different. The truth is nevertheless clearly set forth in his words- it is his simplicity that baffles the unworthy.’
‘I have chosen the expressions in this chapter in such a way that it is likely to mislead those magicians who allow selfish interests to cloud their intelligence, but to give useful hints to such as are bound by the proper oaths to devote their powers to legitimate ends.’
Dark surfaces.
Intention.
Corruption.
Transmutation.
Down to the language.
Rebirth at noon on a Sunday,
In awe, held in the arms of the universe.
●
Rested, earlier; there seemed to be frequencies doing some *thing*, so sensitive anymore. Helicopter, prior.
Woke at 18:16.
Deplorable fucking dreams.
Something spoke about a place of existing in between dead and alive. A room with an empty bed, a disembodied voice, flipping off a security camera, the subconscious telling us, this is all a trick.
Finding a large, bald man, naked and intoxicated, terrifying. I do not know if I was in my own perspective, which terrified me in its own right; it felt incepted on a whole new level, or of a Demon.
Being able to incept dreams, seems, to me, to be an exceptionally fucked up form of warfare, could very well be domestic as well as foreign.
The fact I can even think this is possible is upsetting.
The inex was going when I woke, nefarious things of “perfecting weapons”.
The things we are terrified to even write down.
What programming has been taking place in all the dreams I do not remember at night?
Is everything that has patterned a very meticulously designed propaganda?
It is written, like… a *really* good plotline.
Are the ideas mine, divine?
When I was at my fathers for Christmas, there was a shirt period of time where, without any electrical device on my person, every electronic device with Bluetooth capability that I walked past activated on its own.
Like me. My field. Was activating it. Or something.
At noon, I had mostly broken the superposition thought process.
I feel it creeping back, now.
God. At this moment, I know not what name to seek you with.
Forgive me this.
I fear I have gone wrong somewhere, perhaps years ago.
Fear the past, come back to haunt me.
Fear my own hands, at time, one hand in particular; it is writ not to place marks upon the skin, but years before I knew that, A Thing was done.
And intention was one thing when done in the unsanity that had gripped me- later understandings quite another.
There is a reality in which the entire Pattern comes together and this is part of Your plan; or is it something very evil leading me astray?
Something is working through me, I do not know if it is good or evil – and I hate to even use these very earthly terms.
Belief that the name and nature of the Holy Catholic Church have been so highly corrupted so as to have negatively transmuted the very essence.
Found a path of what I believe to be righteousness and redemption when I had an encounter with an entity that introduced itself with a spider and the name Odin.
A name I have come to know as benevolence; but at times even that feels wrong, as the name of Odin has been put on to so many things created by human hands.
So many perceived warnings in the music I have found a Pattern in.
A duality to the nature of my understanding of this entity.
Is it a blessing or a curse, to perceive as I do?
Doom or salvation?
Can there be salvation *through* doom?
So many more nefarious entities with the arrival of wireless; the thing that soon alters all of *this* for the coming age.
What seems to be a drone has just crashed into the side of the house.
Technology opens up so many possible realities.
Deceptions.
Harm.
~~~~~~~~
Another dream about this same large, bald man, a dark dark entity, I am not sure how to explain. Finding him, a feeling of *catching* him, with a platinum blonde woman with huge red lips, came off as a prostitute, right, and even as I was there being appalled by the scene that unfolded, this seemingly attractive woman slowly shifted to a grotesque man in drag.
Waking to the inex, theta, running things if treason and terror.
Later, Soma, the concept of “agents”.
Questions I am left with, this week.
Is thoughtcrime real at this point?
Not even *legal* thoughtcrime, if that makes sense, but the illicit divings into the mental realms of individuals for certain nefarious purposes?
Comes down to determining which is the cover up, what is the angle.
What has been happening to me is not *normal*.
So now, we move forward.
What is going on?