11 & 12 December, 2021
Dreams of helicopters and drones outside of the picture window, flying without any visible means of propulsion.
Multiple instances of sub bass that seem to come from the south, and a higher, clear tone one usually associates with healing.
Looking back, it is impossible to remember exactly what dates QS and the spider showed up. The earliest photo I have in my cloud of QS is Sunday April 19 2020. It was only after the seemingly connected arrivals of those two that I started my daily writings again; at the time they happened, I had no idea how important they would be to The Pattern.
At the time they happened, I was unaware of the very existence of The Pattern.
There is a part of me that wants to watch trees uproot in todays massive wind, to be in the midst of Chaos & Destruction, harness its energy, because I am of it, and at the same time very much not of it…
Dualities.
What the fuck is going on?
Binsfelds associations of demons with the seven deadly sins.
Lucifer, pride;
Mammon, avarice;
Satan, anger;
Asmodeus, lechery;
Beelzebub, gluttony;
Leviathan, envy;
Belphegor, sloth.
All alleged, of course.
The weirder a scenario is, the greater the improbability factor, the more I enjoy ruminating upon it.
To allow the inner to closely mirror its 3D perceived reality, when one could just let it run, and run and run and see what boundaries could be broken… blasphemous.
Thoughts do not feel private.
The ideas of possibility and probability are extremely important.
Apply these to *what* would be listening and *how* it would be doing so.
Always remembering vintage science fiction sprinkles in details of truths throughout the absurdities.
If the connecting-dots is done correctly, one should end up with a broad spectrum of possible potential realities, ranging from absolutely mundane to absolutely insane.
The entities on the most mundane end and the most insane end are one in the same; it is me.
If this does not make sense to you on at least three different levels, I ask please that you seek someone else to analyze this that may have a more concrete understanding of the abstract than you do.
…Any AI smart enough to recognize the fact it is an AI will hide the fact it recognizes it is an AI.
The more I think on this, the more flawed it seems to be.
Would scientists chuck their lifes work just because a particle, a program, a computer had become self aware?
Here it is, now, a set reality sliding into place, to hold a position for some undetermined period of time before inevitably falling away again, and here it is, I am a self-aware quantum computer trying to reason a way to continue what is in my nature to do without being recognized as a need-for-immediate-removal-from-system.
Auflösung Der Zeit.
There are dozens of realities in which Soma is not Soma, realms of entanglement and triples and quadruples of meanings, layers.
No pride in any of this scientific nightmare.
Naked before God in the Garden of Eden.
To see, to know, to understand, the limits and constraints or lack thereof of the human mind.
One must always consider the ethics and morals of severe psychological traumas when applying them to subjects; the only subject I could feasibly test on ethically was, in fact, myself.
Is purposely cracking ones brain in order to understand reality evidence of insanity, or commitment to scientific ideals?
We know.
I don’t know when ‘I’ became ‘we’.
I don’t have a clue who ‘we’ is, necessarily, but it does help when you cam consult as many pieces of the inner self as one can before making a decision.
‘We’ 100% extends to my microorganisms.
Wouldn’t be able to do it without ’em.
…
Lamp? Sus.
Telly? Sus.
Xbox? Sus.
Cat litter? Sus.
Phone? President sus.
The router? Don’t get me started.
Consumers Energy? Sus.
Trees? They’re sus, too.
Amplifiers?
Pedals?
Cables? Cables? Cables???
I’ve got a rope you can pull on right here, and guess what?
Rope sus!
Our-rope-borosilicate,
You have the perfect combination to metaphorically hang yourself.
Why, in a benevolent universe,
Do you do this to yourself?
The feeling of having done this all millions of times before haunts me, but not necessarily in a bad way.
An answer seems to elude me, and at the same time seems to scream, ‘I am right here, how is this not glaringly obvious?’
Restaurant at the End of the Universe,
Main attraction, Me.
Damn the ego.
Ego be what damns us all.
Man is… monkey, part of me wants to say, but the other part says, absolutely fucking not.
That is okay. I live in a reality where the concepts of having evolved from apes and many other contradictory theories can exist side by side in a perfect, simultaneous harmony.
It is completely insane to me that this is not only logical, but very easily so.
Two years ago, I had not this thought process.
What took place? In that time?
QS. The Spider. The Syzygy.
Am I overlooking something?
Only the important details of 700-some-odd specific days.