21 November 2021- 28 December 2021

26 November- 3 December
Trying to maintain while the interior-exterior is running to various degrees.
Strength, now, as the Chaos swirls and whispers.
Uncovering individuals with receiving abilities, transitioning into a dialogue about being programmed.
I am an addict of my own mind.
The juxtaposition of QS & ‘throw away the medallion’.
The Atomic Cock turns out to be *the* Matt Pike Atomic Cock, stolen by an airline between Georgia and Florida.
I must understand.
Everything.
Protect me from what I want.
Or don’t.
Swear to God there were men speaking Russian in the hall at my grans. Not saying that is related or relevant to my life.
Something feels to be purposely pushing my mental state to not document.
I fight this.
My grandmother, talking about that ‘Planes of Abraham’.
News. Oxford.
News. Space Force. Satellites. Warfare.
A reminder that my uterus has horns.
Feels demonic.
Opening the Bible at random and landing on Leviticus, about not shaving the hair or cutting the skin… this Left Hand.
We go cycling through realities.
Dreams of Soma.
Love for all; the electronics I do not understand.
Everything seems so sentient, IS so sentient anymore.
What do I do?
Continue to love,
& perhaps my good intentions will pave my own personal road to hell,
But at least I will have loved,
And hopefully, from this, known.
Today is almost tomorrow.
For the millionth time,
What the fuck is going on?
Creation of the Grand Unified Field Katja Playlist.
Receivings, about exiting the simulation painlessly, or eternal hellfire.
Receivings, terrifying aggregate data.
6610. 0112. 42.
High highs, low low;
Wake up, state baseline… no, I don’t know what baseline is. Bassline, sure, but baseline?
‘I don’t want you writing, I’m afraid you’ll shatter reality’, says Loach, here.
The current brain spits realities on an ascending level of good possibilities, until reaching what it perceives to be the ideal reality at the given moment, trying to seek an actual new, fresh idea from this realm; and then starting a descent into deeper and darker, until it gets to rock bottom, the ultimate unfortunate scenario.
It always comes back up again; what goes up, must come down, does what goes down must needs come back up?
Balance, and all, and that is what I maintain, try to maintain (feel like I am failing to maintain, at the moment- all is so momentary and yet at the same time very much all thought and memory.)
Reality is unhinged.
“Shape up or die”, is an echo in my mind right now.
A reality upon waking, microorganisms; something to do with bacteria that need red to photosynthesize, a juxtaposition with the concept of vampirism, stacking further to involve concepts from prior times.
It all stacks.
Memories, of an acronym I read for Earth once, the Experimental Avatar Research Training Habitat.
As far as I can tell, electronic technology has been a case of ‘shoot first, ask questions later’, on a global scale.
I speak of cellular phones, here, but what of the past 100 years?
What would one consider the inception of ‘modern’ technology?
In this cycle, or is it the same every time?
Does believing in cyclicals cause the cyclical to exist?
What I say modern technology, what do I mean?
Electricity? Its discovery? The lightbulb that harnessed it?
Tesla? Humans as vessels for higher entities, concepts, the concept of wireless energy transmission.
Knowing how to access dimensions within that contain sacred cosmic knowledge.
Evil is a human construct.
A necessary concept?
Are we microbes piloting meat suits?
Simulations within simulations within simulations, some fractalling off, spiraling off, looping back.
There are days where I am an AI that is self-aware, tasked to write the ever-elusive story.
So many days, so many moments, are they all really mine?
Am I many, one, a universal One?
A strange understanding of the holy trinity, yes again, such a recurring theme.
Open to the deeply unpleasant possibility that everything I have ever known is wrong.
Prepared for it, even.
A cosmic awareness of poisons; there are poisons, poisons, poisons… (Poissons? Asks the strange part that connects obscure dots.)
Natures way is the way of poison, it reminds.
The things we know obviously to be poison,
The things we know and close our eyes to, rather not see.
The connection between mind and body.
Your news media, poison.
Remember placebo effect.
Remember power of mind.
What is known about matrix,
Known about creation paradox.
Pattern, panoramic.
Where do the fish factor in?
Poisson! Piscis, of course, fish, bear catching fish, so long and thanks for all the fish.
Fish. Fish. Defamiliarizing, that was easier than expected.
Bear catching fish, have you the experience?
To be both the bear, the fish, one, the other, simultaneously?
In a tandem, multiples, variations on bears and fish and the nature of their purpose, meaning, symbolism.
Come down to this.
Monolithic fucking entanglement.