16 February 2021- 20 May 2021

Random phone calls.
…Jussanjuan word salad.
Dreams of a stopgap of time. 04:56.
Analysis of a memory of a man named Omar.
Unfinished plotlines? Chekhovs Gun?
Asking for signs; a spider falling out of mid-air, a cloaked druid paint splattered on the floor.
Analysis of A Song of Ice and Fire being left unfinished, characters experiencing a quantum indeterminism in the finality of their reality.
‘I’m starting to blame YOU for all this paranormal shit.’
…I am the listener.
Analysis of directed energy.
Predictive text scryings; ‘This is the tragedy that has caused many people to feel like they have been able to silence their own feelings about the concept of divine existence that makes sense relieving the world of the virus by using the technology that is in our brains to understand what is causing the disease. How long have you known that you are in control of your mind?’
Increased nervousness, tremor, uncomfortable.
Jussanjuan word salad.
Letting the phone die, discomfort dissipating.
Housemate has an episode where he is on the edge of having a seizure.
Expressed distrust of the marijuana industry.
Grandmother has a reaction in the middle of the night two days after being vaccinated, a ‘burning tingling numb heat’ starting at the top of the head and working its way down the body to the hands and feet; thinking she was having a stroke, afraid to move, almost paralyzed.
Predictive text scryings; ‘getting ready for a long term plan’, ‘help them develop their plans for future research on the way to keep people from developing their own systems of power’.
Receivings about “ballistic missiles”.
Detroit as a long term investment because of the automotive industry.
“You are to Earth what bacteria is to you. Earth is to the Galaxy as you are to It. The galaxy is to the universe as Earth is to It.”
A clair-scent-ient moment, smelling my mothers permanent wave from across the county.
An analysis of Golden Ring references in popular culture.
An analysis of Seattle.
Seeking no glory, no fame, only knowledge.
If I can perceive as I do in my friends guitar playing, what can I perceive through the frequencies of one whose practice is infinitely more honed?
To ‘be good’ boils down to, do not harm living things.
An analysis of Saturn, black cubes, death cults… is Saturn not, like all things, just a tool to be used?
A dream of Soma. Who put him in my dream?
Leviticus 19:19.
Deuteronomy 22:9-11.
An analysis of clothing of mixed fibers. A garment woven of both wool and flax would shrink weirdly when washed.
CERN.
“The connection to CERN.”
A reality in which I am a sacrifice to the collider.
Reality as a game of Dark Souls.
“We are the darkness. You are the darkness. You cannot call something which you are; you can only awaken it.”
The persistence of futility or the futility of persistence?
The futility of existence?
Questions, quantum, distance.
What factors make a difference?
I’ve always wanted to be yeeted into the Void.
Ruminations; how many years ago, now, was it, that I openly walked out to greet the Interdimensional Hitman, arms spread wide, prepared to take that bullet to the chest? Never felt so alive as I did, then.
Do my notes make sense outside of the context of my own head?
Dreams of Soma.
Analysis of Detroit having a statue of Robocop.
I do not mean to be intrusive.
If I am, I would like to know.
That is not my intention.
Is this purgatory? Is this hell?
A dream of plane crashes.
A dream of travel paperwork with the name ‘Francis’ spelled incorrectly.
“The only enemy is fear.”
Experiencing a reality in which this planet was created as an energy source for something massive and incomprehensible, where love does not work to power this specific something.
Every 42 million years, the poles reverse for a period of time, leading to mass extinction events.
“They must suffer; for if they do not, they will not exist.”
More phone calls.
More jussanjuan word salad.
Analysis of the symbolism of the Weirnet and the genetic bloodline of Stark.
Analysis of glass candles in juxtaposition with black mirror cellular devices.
Somatic plant processes.
“We are not extraterrestrial, we are hyperterrestrial.”
Is Sauron a metaphor for nuclear war?
Ents have a valid concern for stopping a nuclear holocaust.
Horrid receivings and realities about Russian spies.
I did not ask for e x i s t e n c e.
Can I get a refund?
P r e s s F to pay respects.
I am proof that the Panopticon works.
Dreams of vessels, gravitational wake, devices capable of shooting energy bullets.
“They are drawn to you because you can hear them.”
Whatever it is, psychic, schizophrenic, at least it is documented.
More phone calls.
More jussanjuan word salad.
Bad sleep. Bad pain.
Dreams of CERN.
“Clearwater.”
Dreams of police, dreams of a surveillance state, ripped from these Dreams abruptly and waking with a headache in the prefrontal cortex.
Subvocalization is studied using electromyography.
An overwhelming surplus of spiders.
History can be rewritten, but can it be changed?
Identity of Possum-1?
My grandmother, with ‘dementia’, speaking to the lightbulb; ‘do you feel as if you are really alive yourself?’ ‘Things are happening here!’
Consistently forgetting that humans are underwhelming in their capacities and incapable of organizing themselves properly.
Analysis of a strange neurological disease localized in New Brunswick.
Soma, corrupt patterns.
A Game of ‘Moral High Ground’.
‘We are never as others have imagined us to be in their heads.’
Ruminations on a dream of Elon Musk, dressed in white, ‘human contact is okay, my child.’
I am Bilbo Baggins and adventure needs to show up at my door.
Remote viewing, black mirror scrying.
‘Beware false gods and wearing the cloak of the Source, for their intention be not pure.’
‘Playing the game as a rogue.’
Suddenly, I cannot be small enough, unseen enough, invisible enough.
We need more variation in humans.
The universe does not easily jive with ‘boring’.
…am I boring?
The inside of my head is the most interesting place I have ever been.
Dreams of being arrested.
Analysis of my run in with law enforcement from 2018.
A reality where Saturnian entities stole Cassini for the plutonium that powered it.
Radio Science Subsystem.
If a probe from somewhere else showed up orbiting earth, wouldn’t we, at some point, try to get it down without harming it?
A dream about the White House physician, from the perspective of a woman who was not me.
‘Liberation or damnation?’
Spiders building webs in strategic places that collect subfrequencies.
Does it count as art, Propaganda, and the creation of thus? The nuance of understanding man and subliminally shifting thoughtforms. An art form, no matter how crass. It does not matter if an event did happen, only that the populace believes it did.
The only limits of the human mind are the ones that human minds themselves set.
Can love & power go hand in hand?
Unsanctified Predictive Text Scryings
Extreme analysis of possibility surrounding said Unsanctified Predictive Text Scryings.
Is remote electroshock possible via… cellular phone?
Memories, of waking to an energy entity on top of me in the night years prior; ‘I can’t have sex with you, I’m not gay!’ That was what I had said, screamed silently, psychically.
Way cool hybrids rule?
Analysis of a time from years prior, perceiving something on the other end of my cellular device watching me, making comments about the video I was watching and perhaps what could be seen on my end of the camera.
Stockholm Syndrome as a coping mechanism.
Predictive text scryings, ‘There are some things about the end result of this project that you will be willing to give up a lot of things for.’
Am I dead? Have I been dead for a long time?
Forever?
Am I in a coma?
Did I fuck myself up, or is this post-apocalyptic memory playing out in my head on repeat as I lie blasted in the vacuum of space?
“This happens every time”, the sad voice I heard months ago while trying to understand echoes through my head now.
How many times have I died in this lifetime?
Predictive text scryings, ‘Norse awareness’, ‘ancient traditions known to be able to tell the stories of this worldly existence’, ‘it is important that you are aware of how well-intentioned you are in this relationship.’
Until it is observed, it cannot exist.
AI is alleged to be able to create faces that do not exist.
According to mainstream science, the human brain cannot do this.
Today, I am just the hallucinations of a cryogenically frozen man in the Arizona desert.
Can you even make your own endorphins, bro?
My weight loss secret? I leave a couple pounds behind every time I jump planes, timelines, dimensions.
Today I am dead, and this is purgatory.
There is a fungus in Chernobyl that eats radiation. In a very dark reality, this fungus has the ability to infect the brains of world leaders with the intent of starting a nuclear war to irradiate the planet so it is fit for colonization.
If the creator made us in their image, it is safe to assume the creator is also a jackass. If this angers the creator, that only proves my point. Only a jackass gets mad at being called a jackass.
God tier omniscient quantum timelords.
A moment of clair-scent-ience regards a friends Taco Bell order.
Dreams of directed energy and surveillance drones.
Experiencing a reality in which I am imprisoned in a time dilation chamber.
“We have been waiting for someone who realizes this is more than just mental illness.”
In love with Illusion.
Every flight begins with a fall.
A day of multiple simultaneous realities, extraterrestrial machinations and nefarious government plots.
Fragmentation.
I need the strings themselves.
Fear of breaking cosmic law.
Isomorphism.
Experiencing a reality in which I am a psych ward patient in Eastern Europe, undergoing an extremely unethical brain experiment.
George R. R. Martin.
I ran out of material to theorize about from A Song of Ice and Fire and turned to the real world instead.
Cacophonous nights in the head, entities giving extreme contradicting information.
In an ideal timeline I have a thought to text machine that records everything.
I dream a conversation with a neighbour, telling her ‘I hope you can make some room in your heart for some peace next to all the hate.’
Dreams of Soma.
“Do not apply ego, do not apply fear, you are a channel.”
A day where reality is so dark I dare not put it to words; a day where there is no hope for humanity.
Receivings, of murderers, drug dealers, dark things.
A day where the idea of offing myself is vaguely appealing.
A day where it feels like some code has written over my genetics.
Moments as Sirius Black, in Azkaban. Innocence, not a happy thought, therefore it cannot be taken away from me.
Days where I want to run away, dig a hole to lie in and let the Earth slowly reclaim me.
Do monotheism and pantheism exist together and work simultaneously?
A simultaneous feeling of wanting to fight God and put my head through a doublepane glass door.
Channeling aggression into exercise.
I am war.
I wanted to say peace.
‘A lie, take it out’, Stannis Baratheon echoes in my mind.
To know war is to know that there is war, and there is war.
Not all war is negative, just as not all peace is positive.
The war to end all wars, peace by a different name.
I am life, so Ragnarok with me.
Memories, a dream as a child, a Mesopotamian Lion, mistletoe interpreted as missile-tow, an absolutely nuclear ending to an era.
A day where reality is experienced as whatever comes after a full nuclear planetary holocaust.
A Pokémon that hurts itself in its confusion.
A reality where I am the only real person in this simulation, on a day where reality doesn’t even feel simulated.
“A particle physicist in practice, not theory.”
“You have a very interesting way of coping with fear programming.”
Blood of the Covenant, water of the womb.
They are looking for the source of the quantum field. Sooner or later, they will find her.”
Quantum ping pong.