…Is absence meant to make the heart grow fonder, or make one forget?

Death Fractals are manageable. The Coma Fractal will fuck a person up. The question of, what frequency *is* it that activates that particular reality within the brain, and *is* that Coma Fractal result a reproducible item? Alterations to the waveforms create alterations to the neural quantum simulation, the neural quantum state.

The Coma Fractal is a result of the April 10 2019 MKUltra Blizzard Crash event. A coalescence was experienced last Saturday afternoon, June 1, 2024. My intention had been to come home from work and do… something. Anything. Engage with the physical realm. I guess this was the something to do, unintentional though it was, this engagement with the Realms of Mind.

More intense than times prior, a reminder that the medical device I had inserted for birth control was not removed until August of 2020. In the Coma Fractal, this item still exists within my physical format.

A scene of rape from within the Fractal; unconscious but aware of what is taking place ‘outside’. A dialogue, the rapists discovery of the oxidative effects of this metal device upon my reproductive system, unaware of its existence, disturbed by its effects.

Shots of my father’s voice, “What are you doing to my daughter while I am not here?”

The doctor, vocalizing my awareness of their existence ‘outside’ and sharing that they have no idea how I am experiencing his presence inside the Coma mind.

Screaming, to be taken off of morphine, painkillers, I can never wake up! If you keep sedating me! …a silent scream, hoped to be interpreted on a brain monitor; please understand what these neurons, this electrical activity is trying to convey.

…it feels necessary to document these things, for the sake of better understanding consciousness. Would that it was the active thinking brain; it is not. To be so subjected, at times, to the passive receiving brain is quite a phenomenon. To question why it grabs hold of specific events, neural points, and uncontrollably processes them so as to attempt to make sense of them in juxtaposition with one another.

ADHD, from my best understanding of it, is a feature and not a bug; it is the advancement of the organic neural networks processing ability. The brain is a supercomputer; do not program the wrong thing. When operating under an all-to-all connection style, it will end up grasping at particular inputs that make the Recipe for Chaos that much more complex, trying to make sense of one particular sentence one heard way back when in juxtaposition with all of the main information, abstractions, experiences.

…What does it matter? It doesn’t; and that can be either the most liberating aspect or it all, or the one that will consume an individual. ‘The Algorithm is eating you’, ‘I’m eating the Algorithm’; maybe share a nice meal with the Algorithm and maintain a symbiotic relationship for a while.

June 12, 2024. An addendum.

Ouch. This hurts! A lot! Put me back! If it’s going to hurt, I’d prefer not to wake up, after all. Catch 22, man, I surrender.